I tested twice in total. On the first night, because I was too nervous, I didnât sleep well. The results of the test didnât seem very accurate. One bar showed that I wasnât pregnant. However, this result didnât seem very accurate, so I didnât relax much.
After two days, I took another test, only to see two bars appear on the test paper. One was an obviously red bar, and the other was of a very light color.
I didnât know what that meant. I went to the drugstore to ask again.
The person at the counter said casually, âThat means youâre pregnant! Go back and tell your parents about this. You probably only just got pregnant. Just go to the hospital for an abortion.â
âHow⦠how do I abort?â
âJust like that!â
She suddenly looked at me curiously, her gaze filled with disdain. âI say, youâre so young, yet youâre already pregnant. But you donât seem to have any sense of shame at all. Didnât your family tell you that girls should have self-respect and self-love? Who would want to marry you in the future, when youâve had an abortion at such a young age?â
I donât know how she could say such cruel things so lightly.
I didnât say anything and left with my head down. Outside the pharmacy, I sat on the steps and hugged my knees as I cried helplessly.
Abortion?
Wouldnât an abortion cost a lot?
But I couldnât afford that much money.
The news hit me like lightning from out of the blue. I felt like I was in hell, isolated and helpless.
At that time, Han Xiao was the only person I could think of.
After school, I suddenly pulled her aside and stammered.
She noticed that I had an odd expression and didnât look her in the eye. I couldnât form a coherent sentence for a long time, so she became anxious. âXiachun, whatâs wrong? Is there something you need?â
âHan Xiaoâ¦â
As soon as I spoke, my voice trembled violently.
Perhaps she noticed my odd behavior, she finally looked at me seriously. âWhatâs going on?â
âI think⦠I think Iâm pregnantâ¦â
My voice buzzed quietly like a mosquito, and every word was squeezed out from between my teeth with much effort.
Han Xiaoâs expression changed drastically and her eyes widened in disbelief. âWhat!?!â
âI havenât had my period for a long time⦠I tested twice, I think Iâm pregnant⦠What should I do? Do you know anything about these matters?â
âHow did you get pregnant?! You and that manâ¦â Her voice trailed off. Afraid that she would agitate me, she avoided the main point and asked, âDid you not take any precautions?â
I felt even more embarrassed. I bit my lip and shook my head.
Han Xiao was also at a loss for what to do. She said anxiously, âI donât know much about these things either⦠Why donât you take leave and Iâll accompany you to the hospital for a checkup? Then if youâre pregnant⦠get a painless abortionâ¦â
Advertisements for painless abortion could be seen everywhere on the streets.
I said helplessly, âBut⦠I heard that abortion surgery costs a lot of money. I canât afford it⦠and I canât possibly ask my mother for the money. She wonât give it to me. What if she asks me for the reason⦠I canât tell herâ¦â
â¦
âSheâll break my legs.â
Han Xiao immediately calmed me down and said, âDonât be nervous. Iâll help you find out if thereâs any other way apart from the abortion surgery! Donât worry for now.â
On the way home, we passed by the pharmacy. Han Xiao asked me to wait for her while she went into the pharmacy by herself. Fifteen minutes later, she walked out with her face flushed and a box of medicine in her hand.
I guessed from the look on her face that the pharmacist must have thought she had gotten pregnant by accident and said something unpleasant.