Mu Yanchen continued walking forward expressionlessly. He did not know what he was thinking, but his mind was in a muddle. In the midst of this chaos, it was as if he could hear countless voices going round in his head.
Suddenly, he heard from behind him, Meng Qingxue seemed to have broken down in exhaustion.
âYanchen! Are you willing to give me a minute? I... I have something to tell you!ân/o/vel/b//in dot c//om
She shouted these words with all her remaining energy.
Mu Yanchen stopped abruptly but did not turn around.
Meng Qingxue could not walk anymore. She bent over, supporting her own weight with her hands on her knees. She seemed rather anxious, but as she tried to catch her breath, her tears rolled down uncontrollably.
âIs it fun to misinterpret my words? Canât you distinguish between angry words, envious remarks, and seriousness?â
She lifted her head abruptly. âAlright, then let me tell you. When I said I hated you, they were angry words. Saying that Yun Shishi had a blissful life was an envious remark. And Iâm being most serious when I say âI love youâ and âI miss youâ.â
â...â
âMu Yanchen, I donât know why I fell for you either. After thinking things over for a long time, I vaguely realized that probably no one else in this world dotes on me more than you do.â
As Meng Qingxue spoke, her eyes turned even redder, and her tears continued to flow uncontrollably.
Mu Yanchenâs heart throbbed painfully at her words.
It was as if something had ripped it apart.
âMy life has always been bleak! When I left home and went to Beijing for development, I went down the wrong path once! I entered a modeling agency, but luckily, I met you. Finally, there was someone who would hold me close to their heart, take good care of me, and dote on me! You know, there probably isnât another person who would be so forgiving and doting towards me! I tried my best to be careful and obedient so that you wouldnât get tired of me. Because I loved you, I felt I had to be the subservient one in this relationship. I placed myself among the dust. I know that this sort of attitude wonât help me gain anyoneâs respect. I even belittled myself. Perhaps I was too naive, and so ecstatic to have fallen in love, that I didnât care about anything else or thought about the future. In fact, I didnât even stop to think about whether you really loved me, before I cast everything aside and flew towards you. I thought this was love.â
Pausing for a moment, Meng Qingxue smiled bitterly and said, âBut whatâs unfortunate is that you donât seem to love me that much. Youâre always very busy and donât answer my calls. You have too many social engagements and too many women. Many nights, when Iâm not by your side, it would be some other woman by your side. Iâve been sad, lost, jealous, envious and Iâve even thought about leaving you and going far away! I thought, there will be someone else who will love me more and be more tolerant of me. At the very least, they will genuinely take me to heart, and Iâll be the only one.â
Meng Qingxue took a deep breath, her tears flowing even more freely now. âBut every time I packed my belongings with the intention to leave you, Iâd look back at the apartment, and it would seem like there were traces of us in every corner of it. Only then did I realize that I couldnât lose you at all, and I couldnât leave you... Perhaps you wouldnât feel this way, because youâre so proud. For you, itâs probably not impossible to live without anyone! But... Iâm different... Iâm different...â
âI find it impossible to leave you...â
âI donât even know where to go without you...â