"Alden," someone says from behind me, startling me out of the light doze I had been in. That old adage of sleeping when baby sleeps is something I have taken to heart. Who knew children could be so exhausting.
"Yeah," I say, voice coming out more as a croak as I push myself up so that I am sitting, rather than laying sprawled across the couch. When I see who it is who is talking, though, my eyes widen considerably.
Mary walks over to me, sitting on the other end of the couch, her foot tucked underneath her. Her stomach is definitely more pronounced. Alena has been keeping close track of her growth and progress. According to her, Mary is right on track, maybe even a little further along than her previous assumption of twenty-eight weeks.
"Could I talk to you for a minute?" Her voice is soft, and it is one of the few times I have ever heard it. Most of the time, she is quiet, not speaking to anyone other than Margaret. Alena always just asks her yes or no questions, that way she can just shake or nod her head in response. Suffice to say, it takes me a few seconds to get over my initial shock.
"Yeah, of course." Her face is as neutral as always, but her lips twitch as she watches me fumble to pull myself up. "What's up?"
She seems to be mulling over her words, before she eventually talks as if it is hard for her to find the correct ones. "Margaret said that I should talk to you and Finn about..." she pauses for a second, her eyebrows furrowing in discontent, "about the- the baby."
Her words catch me off guard slightly, but I give her a quick nod once they register, forcing myself to wake up.
She seems to take my nod as encouragement. "I-I don't want to be a mom. Never have, probably never will." Her eyes flick up to me and being this close to her, I can see that they are a dark blue, almost like a navy color. They fit her. "But I don't want them to be without a parent."
"Finn and I have talked, and if you don't want the baby, we would love to take them," I say, my words coming out more encouraging than I truly feel about the whole ordeal. But, there is not any other option. Mary has never wanted this baby, was forced into it just like Finn was, and she should not have to take care of someone she doesn't love. Finn and I have raised Viola since birth, and now she is crawling. If we have managed to keep her alive this long, then we should be able to handle another child.
And for the first time in the months that I have known her, she allows herself to smile. Her eyes are still sad, though, and I doubt the sadness will ever leave her. But, for once in her life, she has control over something. Her relief is evident in the way she allows herself to relax, body not as tense as she usually holds herself.
"This might seem weird to say, but thank you," she whispers, before pushing herself up off the couch and walking back in the direction of her room.
It is nice to see that she seems to be getting better, albeit rather slowly. But, her wife dying sent her into a tailspin, and then being kidnapped and forced into a pregnancy, it is no wonder she is having trouble. It seems that having some control in her life is allowing her to come back to herself, heal from the damage her heart has undergone.
Despite still being tired, I push myself up from the couch, rubbing at my eyes as I wander into the kitchen. The conversation is still looping in my mind, and the worry starts to grow. Adding another member to our family is stressful, especially since we can't just run to the store if we are short on supplies.
Everyone here has been pretty helpful, thank god. Ever since some of the guards were kicked out a couple of weeks ago, the entire community here has flourished. It seems as if everyone has taken a collective sigh of relief, able to actually enjoy life again instead of living constantly on edge.
Erika, seeing as she is still nursing her toddler, has offered to pump some milk for the new baby. Our formula stash is running low, but we have been able to make the last few cans last, seeing as Viola is eating more solids now. There is not nearly enough for a new baby, though. And wandering aimlessly outside these walls is not a good idea.
Someone outside has set up a radio station, which gives constant updates on the status of the world out there. Everything is still terrible, the beasts rampaging all of the cities and starting to spread out more. Apparently, there are now two classifications of the creatures, ones that changed while still alive- thinkers- and ones that changed after they were killed- trolls. The thinkers are scarily smart, able to work together in order to make a plan of attack. Luckily, they are not as abundant as the trolls, only one of them for every twenty-five trolls. This usually results in the thinkers forcing a horde of trolls to do their biddings.
People have fallen into traps they have set, ones where injured children were used as bait. The child would then go around calling for help, and as soon as someone left hiding to help them, the creatures would attack.
To make it even worse, the beasts seem drawn back to their homes, having some type of instinct that makes them head back to their old residence. This has resulted in whole families being wiped out in a matter of minutes.
Hearing all of this is terrifying. The closest I have ever gotten to one of those creatures was when there was a door between us. Thinking of one of them making their way in here causes a shiver of fear to go through me. The other residents here feel the same way, which has led to us taking serious precautions.
With a little over twenty guards being kicked out, we lost a huge chunk of our protection. A few people have signed up to become guards, such as Delaney and Danny, but we are still lacking. So, along with the new guards being trained, they have also had to safeguard the community. There are only three things the beasts cannot tolerate: sunlight, water, and infected blood. They usually attack when the sun is either low in the sky or completely set. This makes it easier for us to move about without fear of being attacked by those creatures. The guards have even started smearing infected blood along the fence walls, making a deterrent for the beasts.
So far it has worked. But the world out there is still scary. There have been a few supply runs, which Finn has gone on. Every time he leaves, anxiety wells within me, not disappearing until he has returned. I have seen what those creatures can do, and I don't want Finn to get hurt or killed. Plus, humans are becoming vicious as well in an effort to survive. Suffice to say, when Finn comes back, he is completely worn, and I don't let him out of my sight for a few days.
Good things do come from these supply runs, though. We have been able to collect a good amount of baby supplies, along with more things for Remy and Viola.
The community is trying to work towards becoming self-sufficient. A community garden was started in the early spring and is doing surprisingly well. Being right next to the beach is nice too, with endless renewable energy and regulated fishing.
We are remaining stable, something that was impossible in the first few months. It is hard to completely relax, though, with the threats outside the wall. I doubt that I will ever be able to live worry free, but at least we are as protected as possible right now.
A small cry snaps me out of my musings. Taking one last swallow of water, I wander into the kid's room. It is just big enough for all the children living here. There are two sets of bunk beds and a crib. Finn has already started on transforming one of the bottom bunks into a makeshift crib for Viola, so we can use the real one for the new baby.
The door opens silently as I push it, and a smile spreads across my face when I see Viola standing in her crib, hands gripping tightly to the rails as she holds herself up. She has been growing so much lately, with two new bottom teeth, her darker hair long enough to be ruffled, and already crawling around.
She smiles when she sees me, reaching up her arms to be picked up. Of course, this results in her falling onto her butt, her smile never lessening.
"Have a good nap, hm?" I say, letting her grab onto my hands as I pull her up into my arms. She laughs as I swing her around, cuddling into my chest once I pull her close. She always likes to cuddle for a while after she wakes up.
Looking over at Remy, I see that he is still fast asleep, his blanket kicked down to the bottom bunk as his feet hang over the edge. He woke up early this morning, so I am not surprised he is still sleeping. Probably will have to wake him up if he doesn't in the next hour. As gently as I can, I scoot his feet back onto the bed before tucking his blanket around him. He snuffles slightly before relaxing into the mattress, arm wrapped around a stuffed elephant.
Viola watches as I grab a new diaper for her, only protesting when I put her down to change her diaper. Not wanting to wake Remy when he clearly needs his sleep, I just shush Viola, grabbing her things before walking out of the room.
There is a celebration tonight, something that we have all been looking forward to. Summer is practically here, the days and nights a comfortable temperature, preparing us for the heat of the summer. So, the community had decided to do a bonfire, something to celebrate the coming summer and have a night free of the worries of the world outside our walls.
I have definitely been looking forward to it. While Finn has been spending a few hours of his day at the school with his students and then some hours in the evening as a guard, I have been responsible for taking care of the children. It isn't something I mind, but I am happy that I can have a night free from them. A few of the teenagers had been caught drinking while they were supposed to be training, so their punishment is to watch the children while the rest of us get to have a fun night. So, after the sun sets, the children are going to be ushered off the beach and into one of the community homes.
Even though it makes me nervous to have someone else watching Remy and Viola, I know that Finn and I deserve a few hours alone. Besides, by the time the bonfire rolls around, the kids will be tired and only have a couple hours before bed.
Viola happily babbles as I change her diaper, slipping on a pair of socks when I am done because despite it almost being summer, there is still a slight bite to the air. She sits with me on the couch, helping me turn the pages of a few books until the front door opens.
As soon as she hears Finn's voice, she is wiggling off my lap and crawling towards the stairs. The gate at the top stops her from toppling down, but Finn scoops her up anyway. He is even more protective of Viola and Remy than me, which results in him being wrapped around their fingers.
Viola giggles as Finn tickles her side, planting a sloppy kiss on his cheek when she finally settles down. A huge smile is plastered on Finn's face, and it is easy to see his excitement. To say that we are excited would be an understatement.
"Hey," he says, bending down to give me a kiss before settling on the ground with Viola. "How was your day?"
"Interesting," I say, before relaying to him my conversation with Mary.
He nods his head, a soft smile on his face. "Makes sense. Even though she doesn't want the baby, she still wants them to be taken care of." He pauses for a second, helping Viola to open the cardboard book she is trying to chew on. "That reminds me. Apparently, Margaret and Mary want to move out."
"Damn, I don't blame them," I say, a soft smile on my face. "This place is pretty crowded with everyone living here."
"And with all the empty houses on the other side of town, there is plenty of room for them to have their own place." Finn finally leaves Viola to chew on her book, the baby crying every time he tries to pull it from her mouth. Like I said, wrapped around her finger. "Alena and Anna have already started helping them get everything set up. They found one of those old tourist houses, that way they aren't just taking a random person's home. They are just trying to get everything cleaned up, but they should be moving there in the next couple weeks."
"Wow." Finn pulls me against his side, and I relax into his warmth. "How did I not hear about any of this before now?"
"You've been busy."
Isn't that the truth. Nevertheless, I am still excited for the two of them. This will be good for all of us. Maybe Mary will feel more comfortable if she has her own place, and I am excited to have some more of the house free.
"We could turn their old room into a new one for Remy and Olivia. They are around the same age and share a bunk bed anyway. Giving them their own space away from all the babies could be good for them."
It really would. Even though Remy loves playing with Viola, he still gets frustrated with her sometimes. With all the children in the same room, it is hard for him to ever have time on his own or to be able to escape the little ones.
"I think he would love that," Finn says, looking around the room. "Where is he, by the way?"
"Napping still," I mumble, before looking over at the clock in the corner of the room. "Actually, he should be getting up soon. Do you want to go get him?"
Finn chuckles, pulling himself away so he can get up from the couch. "You just don't want him to be mad at you for waking him up."
Making my face as innocent as possible, I watch as Finn stretches as he stands. "I have no idea what you're talking about."
Finn just shakes his head, a small smile on his face as he walks out of the living room. Viola crawls after him, not wanting to be away from her Daddy.
The word use catches me a bit off guard. I hadn't even realized had started to refer to Finn as Viola and Remy's dad. But that's what we are, right? We are their parents. The only ones Viola has ever known, and the only ones who have truly cared for Remy.
Who knew that in a world thrown into chaos, we would find our own little family.