Chapter 52: CH 52

Chapter 52 (Miri’s POV)│Read translated stories and daily updates at: Awebstories.com

It was like a long, long dream.

I forgot everything. I was very close to Charlotte-onesama, and Onesama was very kind to me, so I felt very comfortable and happy.

But it is all fake.

While I forgot everything, I learned many things.

What to do and what not to do.

To live, common sense is required.

And human kindness.

Now that I know these things, I can’t stand it.

Because I know that what I have done so far is too big and I am ashamed of it.

Up until the other day—I was, in a word, nothing more than an animal.

At least, I think I was a lowly being who only took the form of a human being.

My words, my gestures, my actions… I can’t stand to look at any of them.

What?

Have I always lived like this?

This is more embarrassing than living naked!

And on top of that, how could I have brought so much shame on Charlotte-onesama?

Why was Onesama so kind to me?

Because I ruined Onesama’s wedding.

I want to die.

I want to die.

I want to die.

I want to die.

I want to die.

I want to die…

Somebody blow my head off.

Someone cut off my head.

I’m ashamed to be alive.

It’s hell to live in such shame.

I’ve known about it for a long time.

Memory loss wasn’t the only thing I didn’t know about.

I knew that my inability to go out was because I had done something wrong.

But the reality was far more than I could ever have imagined.

I can’t take it anymore. I want to strangle myself.

I’m in pain.

I’m in pain…

My heart is in agony, and I’m so sorry.

I really want to disappear.

Please kill me.

God, please punish me.

“Mi, Miri, are you okay?! Does your head hurt? Should I call a doctor?!”

“No, please don’t! Please don’t speak so kindly to me! I’m not worth it…!”

Charlotte-onesama looks at me with a worried face.

Please leave me alone. Don’t be nice to people like me.

Why didn’t Onesama cut me off?

Why didn’t she just throw me in jail?

“What are you saying all of a sudden?!”

“I’ve caused Onesama so much trouble, I don’t deserve to live. So please leave me alone…!”

“What—?! Miri… Your memory…?”

Onesama looks at me and seems to know that my memory has returned.

Onesama, do you understand?

How ashamed am I that I remember my actions?

One way or another, I must die—.

I-I think there was a bottle of poisonous water in my room that was set up in case a rat got out.

If I drink it all at once—.

“Miri, what are you doing? Is that—!?”

“Onesama, Thank you for everything…”

“Miri! Stop it! Miri!”

I gulp down the liquid in the bottle.

A~ah. I’m slowly losing consciousness.

Finally, thank you very much. Charlotte-onesama.

For being so kind to me.

I’m sorry for the trouble I’ve caused you—.

—○█○—

“…I-I’m still alive, aren’t I?”

“Miri! You’re such an idiot!”

When I woke up, Charlotte-onesama had tears in her eyes and she was yelling at me.

Oh, I can’t help but feel grateful that she is angry with me now.

However, I wonder what the logic is behind my being safe after taking the poison…

“I could predict that when Miri-sama regained her memory, she would surely want to die. So I gave her a bottle of sleeping pills, telling her they were poison. to calm her down.”

You are Anna.

Anna gave me the poison to kill the rats, didn’t she?

I couldn’t die, could I? But the desire to die hasn’t gone away at all—.