_" i'm just a man who is trying to keep his family"
Once Eliyas finished saying that... the word "family" kept echoing in my head.
Eliyas never called or regarded his relatives as a family, by that of course i mean even his father, mother.. And younger sister not to mention further links. In the past when i observed his daily interactions with them it was akin watching an acting performance .. He really was just an actor following a monotonous script with no need to display any emotions at all, he only obeyed the formalities and minded nothing else.
Except for the few times when he had fights with his mother and sister, he didn't have that much of interactions with them. Usually the subject of their quarrels was Eliyas's wife, namely me. Sometimes they complained about my lack of warmth and respect to their regard, sometimes they just invented an imaginary situation and created unnecessary chaos from thin air just to discomfort me.
When the couple of mother and daughter moaned like wounded cats and displayed their most pitiful state that the one might think i was a living monster nurturing of the hurt i did to them, I'd usually be standing to the side observing their drama impatiently, being a journalist gave me great deal of patience and perseverance so such small matters didn't affect my mood at all.
During these situations Eliyas surprisingly often dropped his cold attitude towards them and chose to scold them for being a nuisance, he addressed his mother with words like: "she's my wife, that of course means she legally is linked only with me and you have no relation with her ..i see no reason for her to treat you as a daughter when you're not her mother" .. " if you want to see a smiling face that much then you can smile to your self in the mirror.. She has no obligation to smile to you, she's my wife and not your clown" .. " i see no reason for you to tell me such trivial matter, it is not considered a crime in the law nor a sin in religion, i'm not your psychologist so as you come empty your heart to me whenever my wife has an encounter with you"
I remember during one of their argues his mother threatened to severe her ties with him if he didn't force me to kneel on the ground and apologise to her, he went so far in his coldness that he boldly said:
_" my only relation with you is that you gave birth to me.. And for that i paid you more than a fair amount of money with my work in the company, other than the inheritance issues i have no other link with you.. So go ahead and cut the imaginary tie you have with me because i will absolutely not make my wife kneel to whoever."
He sounded quite heroic that night, after saying these words he simply walked pass me to climb the stairs towards our room, leaving his mother playing a one man show of agony and despair.
That night i felt the need to correct some conceptions for him, like the fact that if he disobeys his mother then he will be automatically sent to hell. Not that i was a selfless person with a heart with the size of the universe.. My reason for being humanly was that i honestly thought he really had no proper moral learning and i was curious about that.
So i followed him to our room.. When i walked in i found that he already started to undress to put on his house wear.
I crossed my arms.. Leaned on the closet, and i asked coldly:
_"don't you think you went overboard?.. After all, that lady is still considered your mother, and there's an obligation to obey her"
_"would you have preferred if i made you kneel and apologize?"
_"that of course is her wishful thinking, i only bow to allah. Even you can't make me kneel even if you wanted to. I'm just curious to know why you seem very indifferent to your family"
_"Noursine.. In what way do you see the people living in this household a family?" He asked after he popped his head out of his sweater neck.
His hair went messy .. And his face held a mocking smile.
For a moment i thought this man was an apathetic creature, but a split second after that i remembered that he somehow showed emotions in rare occasions.. So the reason for his coldness must be that his family is simply trashy to the extent of him neglecting them.
I walked closer to him.. I raised my hand and fixed his messy hair for him, while looking intensely inside his eyes i asked:
_"and in what way do you see me?"
His eyes somehow looked shaken with my question, as if he was scared to answer it.
Not hearing any answer from him i already lost interest in whatever i was curious about, i withdrew my hand that was messing with his hair, i sighed and walked to the bed to continue working on my laptop.
_"Noursine"
He called my name from behind my back.. So i turned to look at him again.
He took a deep breath.. Looking like if he was about to unveil the deepest and darkest of his secrets. then he said:
_" i see you as my family."
Back in his office i felt so weird hearing his words though.. Because in the past he only considered our emotionless relationship as "his family" .. Somewhere deep inside me i felt so sad realising that he still considered me as his family after all this time and all what happened.
wasn't "his family" already ruined.. What was there left to keep?
I didn't comment his words, i simply left his office.
When i finally reached the elevator and looked at my reflexion on the long mirror inside .. I found that my cheeks were still blushing so much.
That is very explainable because even my heart was still pounding so fast.. my chest was still tight and the memory of that man's light touches on my face and his close strong scent was still so vivid in my head.
I always hated having such lingering affect after seeing him.. No matter how hard i always tried to wipe his traces Eliyas still stuck in my head like a parasite.
I freed my ponytail immediately so as my hair covers a bit of my face. And i tried to breath more calmly and forget about what had happened.
Still ..i hadn't even reached the first floor when my tears already started falling.
Even i considered him as my only family once.
i cried because i felt so sorry for us both.. For only having such a family.
When the elevator finally opened again in the main floor.. I tugged on my coat and walked out of the company.
The weather was getting worst with every passing moment.. It rained and stopped and then rained again so heavy that the one might fill a bucketful of water in a matter of seconds of exposure. Decembers are the worst in D city, the weather is not as cold as to that of my home city .. So i never had to worry about slipping on the icy floors in the mornings nor the freezing wind that sliced my poor exposed skin. D city is rather warm in winters that the one might as well be fashionable and wear lighter clothes instead of heavy bear coats.
So when i heard the spoiled citizens of D city complain about the cold weather in the bus i wanted to say:
_" in my hometown.. This is as hot as it can be in our most fortunate days of winter!"
But i felt very regretful about underestimating the Mediterranean weather the moment i stepped out of the first bus.. Because not even my large umbrella could protect me from the rain.
By the time i left the last bus and i was walking home, my umbrella became as useless as wearing a porcupine hat against the rain.
So when i arrived home not only i was soaking wet.. But my hair which i earlier let down was stuck messily on my face and neck making my shivering state look even more miserable.
I guess it was some sort of bad karma following me after meeting Eliyas again, ever since i heard his deep voice in the radio station it seemed like bad luck started to follow me.
I quickly took a hot bath fearing that i will get sick.. I cooked some egg "anti-cold" soup, drank lemon tea.. I really did my best not to get sick. But i still ended up waking up to a bad headache and sour body the next morning.. Which was my first day at work.
I took painkillers, put on heavier clothes and then took the row of 3 busses to the filladi building.
I went to the human resources bureau first to have my schedule and get informed about my job and stuff.
An employee was then assigned to teach me the basics of my job and led me to the office where i will work.
The employee was a young man probably even younger than me.. He seemed very enthusiastic when he met me and even by the passing commented:
_"i feel that we are very fortunate to finally have a beautiful lady to work with us in the public relations office, you can say that our job is keeping the face of the company in the market so only the veterans of diplomatics work there, although they are professionals but the one can't lie and say that it's refreshing to see them everyday."
"Such a shameless coworker" i thought after hearing his words, but i wasn't in the mood to object to them or take them as a compliment, because 2 ideas invaded my thinking at that time:
1_i must learn my new job and get it done without embarrassing my self
2_why is the pain killer not working anymore?
By the time i settled in the large office and introduced my self to everyone only one idea won the battle in my head an remained:
"The pain killer is definitely not working anymore, now i have to keep my self calm and remember that a headache won't kill"
_"are you ok miss Noursine?" The young man of before suddenly asked.
It seemed like he really was honest when saying he enjoyed me being in the office, because his eyes never stopped observing me.. So it was only natural that he was the one to notice i was not ok:
_"i'm fine.. Just a small headache"
_"you don't look fine though.. You're so pale, i suggest you go to the clinic to rest"
I really appreciate his straightforward way of talking, but it's really not convenient to tell someone who is fighting to convince himself that he was fine that he isn't.
I stood up immediately and wanted to find a doctor.
The young employee was so generous that he not only showed me to the company's clinic.. But decided to keep me company until i get better.
After seeing the doctor i felt much more relaxed, although my condition was not serious at all still i was asked to lie on the bed and get an IV to hydrate my body since i had low blood pressure.
even though the IV needle was penetrating the skin of my forearm.. But i didn't feel scared anymore, needless to explain it.. Phobia is really subjective.
I was enjoying my relaxed mood when the employee who was giving me company suddenly started gossiping:
_"this day is indeed very fortunate! Not only you joined us.. But i got to meet the big boss as well!"
_"the big boss?" I asked confused.
The employee's eyes looked like they were going to burst from happiness when he added:
_"yes! The younger mr Filladi! Mr Eliyas Filladi! Although i work for the company for a year now but i only saw him twice, i heard that our work in the bureau is much easier now ever since his father left his position for him 2 years ago. What is the need of publicity when you can use your boss's handsome face in every magazine!"
I didn't comment any of his words.. I only stared at the dripping IV and calculated in my head the time needed for it to finish.
That is until the flying of happiness employee suddenly added:
_"you can go see him as well if you want to .. He's still inside the clinic"
_"he's at the clinic??" I shouted in total surprise.
The employee apparently explained my sudden burst of emotions as a diehard fan's excitement. So he added:
_"yes! Maybe the administrative group is here to do some inspection .. I can help you move your IV if you want to go have a peck at him"
_"i don't want to see him.. Absolutely not!"
After a bit of thinking i continued:
_"you go stand at the door and see if he had already left the clinic, and by any means if someone tries to open the door just block him!"
I looked at the surprised look on the employees face and his frozen state .. I felt he was very useless so i said:
_"forget it .. I will do it myself!"
I didn't want to see Eliyas!.. I didn't want to see him! And i didn't want to see him!
I stood up from the bed.. Dragged my IV and i went to stand behind the door like a mountain.
I heard many chatters behind the closed door but i didn't distinguish Eliyas's voice out of them .. It must have been that he didn't talk at all or already left since my sharp ears wouldn't mistake him.
After a few time of listening intently, i finally noticed that the employee who i left sitting beside my bed was now standing at the door beside me observing my actions in total confusion.
So i felt the need to explain to him, i half lied:
_" i had offended the big boss before, he's a very dangerous person so i'm afraid that if he sees me here he might as well fire me from my work."
_"ok, but i think i should go call the doctor to fix your IV for you again.. Your arm is bleeding and there's blood in the tube."
Once he said those words and i turned to look at my arm and discovered that they were indeed correct, not even a split second had passed when i felt so weak in my legs and fell to the ground.
Luckily the employee held me from my arms before i hit the ground, but his quick movement had only caused the blood massacre in my arm to go worst.
Of course that is only my view to the situation.. In reality my arm had only forsook extra droplets of blood.
The employee who obviously had no medical knowledge assumed that i was in a life or death situation.
So while grabbing my arms and trying to lift me up he somehow managed to open the door.. Kicked it open with his foot and he shouted:
_"doctor! The patient's condition had worsened!!"
In a matter of seconds, the first person who dashed inside the room was exactly the same person i specifically didn't want him to notice i was there.
I hadn't lost my consciousness completely, i only hang in a half state where my legs failed to bear my weight and my head felt extremely fuzzy.
So i saw Eliyas the moment he walked inside the room and his eyes landed on me.
Can my luck go any worst!