When do I see Eliyas as the most beautiful creature on planet earth?
Definitely not all the time, not half of it.. Nor even a tenth of it to be honest.
He's a very handsome man, I'm not going to deny this fact, but when you look at someone for so long you just kind of get used to his sight and it gets more rare to be surprised or taken aback.
Eliyas has always been beautiful in fact, for as long as I remember him, so if I had to be mesmerized by him during all this time then I would look like a creep all my life wouldn't I? Like a fish just opening my mouth and bulging my eyes whenever he's around, thankfully that did not happen.
when I was little, and by little I mean like 5 years old or something, I used to think that the filladi siblings are two of the most beautiful children I met, what particularly stood out so much in Eliyas were his rosy cheeks and tall brown hair, although his hair barely covered his ears and forehead I still thought he looked very girly and I should have had it instead.
I envied his hair so much that on so many occasions I thought of grubbing scissors, sneakily cutting few pieces when he's asleep then glueing them later on my scalp, obviously my level of mischief grew faster than my level of intelligence at that age.
It's inevitable to compare one's physique to others when growing up, when I was around 12 for example I felt devilishly delighted to see his hair turning completely dark and becoming much shorter when he visited us, but I didn't like the fact he became much taller and more so cold and distant, still, whenever he looked at me with those couple of beautiful eyes of his, he had my little about to enter puberty heart beat so fast that I thought to my self: "I pray he doesn't realize I'm crushing on him!"
The 16 years old him was indeed the most beautiful creature I met.
But I changed over time.. I changed a lot.
I became so untempted and so uninterested in life that even a beautiful man like Eliyas looked very plain to my eyes, and nothing about him succeeded to catch my attention for a long time.
Probably one of the first times I couldn't lift my eyes from him was during the first couple months of our marriage.
I remember walking inside the bathroom one morning only to see Eliyas standing in front of the mirror with his bare torso, wet hair and only a towel around his waist, that wasn't the first time I saw his shirtless upper body of course but I still wasn't used to seeing such scene very much, I remember looking at his reflexion on the mirror and not having not even a single thought for a long time while doing that.
I wasn't physically tempted if I should be precise, I wasn't being shy or embarrassed either, I was simply mesmerized without even knowing truly why.
I didn't move.. I didn't talk .. I Just kept looking at him like if I lost my head.
_" Should I lock the door the next time?" He suddenly asked with a shy face.
Finally realizing I was acting weird I cleared my voice and said nervously:
_" No, you don't have to lock it, I guess such things are common between married couples, aren't they? I mean leaving the bathroom door open."
He nodded in agreement..
You see, at that moment I forgot why I initially walked inside the bathroom, and it would have looked awkward if I just walked out after spending an eternity looking at Eliyas, while trying to be someone who actually have a brain I noticed that I was holding my work clothes between my hands, so I decided to act like a cool confident woman and I walked further inside, stood at a corner and immediately started to take off my pajamas to put on the work clothes.
You have no idea how much willpower I needed to simply unbutton my freaking pajamas top in front of him!.. My fingers were literally shaking and I had to remind my self a million times that I was married to this man and we did everything all the way to the end already and there wasn't anything that he didn't see yet.
I invested my whole courage to continue acting normal yet this strange husband of mine suddenly walked out of the bathroom and slammed the door violently shut, like if I needed another reason to feel even more embarrassed!
Only a couple of seconds passed though when the door was opened again.. And Eliyas walked inside and stared right at me.
Then he crazily said:
_" like you mentioned, we're married, so you shouldn't feel shy demanding your "needs", I can skip work if you want to, it shouldn't be a problem."
Yes.. He was a moron.
I felt so enraged that I put on my sweater as fast as I could then yelled:
_" What needs you're talking about! I don't need anything from you! I just want to dress up quickly and go to work!"
For an unknown motive of his, he confidently stated:
_" But you were .. You know.. You were looking."
_" and is it a sin to look at someone and think that he's beautiful? I had no other reason, I just thought mashallah you're beautiful!"
_" I misunderstood." He mattered then his highness finally remembered to grab his clothes and start to cover him self with them.
_" Yes you did! Just close the door next time not to misunderstand again!" I continued to yell as I held the rest of my clothes and left the bathroom.
Needless to say it, I didn't try to "demand my needs" for a long time afterwards.
But I still in fact experience such moments when I'm so bewitched by him that I lose the track of my thoughts, and I stare at him mesmerized.
Today, I had yet to think of this matter again.
After I left his bureau after receiving the news of Ines's canceled engagement, and I went to our room, I was idly left to the wildness of my thoughts, which isn't the best thing to experience, with no logic link in between I ended up moving from thinking that I did wrong to Ines and I should stand by her side to thinking that the days of my good hospitality towards my in-laws are long over and that my mother in-law should leave the villa as soon as possible!
So when my husband finally came to our room after dinner, my very angry and displeased face was what he first saw, it should be very hard for him to keep up with the swings of my mood.
I was lying on the bed like the usual lazy me, so he calmly walked to my side of the bed, and as he sat down beside me he said:
_" Earlier you warned me not to skip my meals even when I'm busy, so how come when I went to have dinner with you you were absent, are you not feeling well?"
_" I heard Nadir was going to dine with us so I preferred not to join you, you know how straightforward and honest I am, I was afraid to make a mistake and disclose the news I know to your parents."
He looked at the untouched tray of food on the nightstand beside me and he bossily asked:
_" your food is here though, so why didn't you eat?"
Totally ignoring his question, I immediately blurted out:
_" Eliyas, you can call me rude and unfilial but your mother has to leave as soon as possible! the situation now is really a ticking bomb! Once she finds out Ines's engagement is canceled she will have it hard like she always does and would insist to spend her mournful days here at the villa and will have all her guests come to mourne and curse with her! We will have to endure endless torture, why should we?"
He laughed so hard once I finished speaking, it is of course rude to laugh at people's misery, I literally had no appetite only thinking about my mother in-law's mental breakdown and how hellish my life will become because of that yet there he was so heartlessly rejoiceful.
Then he finally replied:
_" Yes, you're right, I don't wish to live this either, I'll ask the butler to prepare for their departure at breakfast, mother and father will leave tomorrow, their job here is done already so I see no further purpose for having them here longer."
Although I felt this son's ethics are very lacking and he's in need of more moral learning, I still didn't object on his decision being on the winning side, I didn't utter not a single word afterwards not to give him the chance to change his mind, I didn't even express my displeasure with his unreasonable mocking laughter.
_" Noursine." He suddenly called my name though while smiling.
I didn't want to sound like a petty person, yet I pettily said:
_" you laugh all you want, it isn't you after all who has to stay home and deal with your mother's mischief, at least in the past I had a job to go to, now I have no escape from her."
_" I just love how honest you are in expressing your thoughts, I'm always taken aback." He suddenly complimented me.
Feeling very satisfied with his words, I sat properly on the bed to start eating, then I commented:
_" It's good thing I have such nice treats to mend for my lack of warmth, otherwise people would simply assume I'm cold all the way to the core just like you, as for you my dearest husband, thankfully you have a lot of money and a beautiful face to tempt people, otherwise who would dare to come near you."
_" You still find me beautiful?" He asked while laughing.
He probably was reminded of one of my beauty incidents, because that awkward bathroom thing that happened at the beginning of our marriage, it wasn't the only occasion in which I expressed my fondness of his handsomeness.
I gave his question careful thinking, then I answered:
_" Not all the time.. But occasionally I still think you're the most beautiful creature I saw, and I think this has nothing to do with how you look like actually, even when you're old, and even in the dark, I will still think of you the same.. Don't ask me why because I don't understand it either."
He didn't speak for a long time afterwards, he apparently was experiencing one of his enlightenment moments, I mean he was just dazedly staring at the closet and occasionally smiling for no clear reason, I was too busy eating to continue watching him, then when I was finally done I asked him:
_" are you done working today? Such a rare thing."
_" No in fact, I wanted to deliver a message to you then go back to work, but I was carried away by my thoughts."
Although I wanted to ask: " and this massage you couldn't simply say it while I was eating?" Still I didn't, I just patiently waited for his to continue speaking.
Then he said:
_"Mr ghemmari wanted to talk with you before he leaves today, I was told he and Ines will formally inform my parents about their decision tomorrow, because of the drama that will certainly unfold I guess this should be his last chance of having a proper talk with you, I felt the need to agree to his demand, afterall, this is the first time he asks for my permission."
_" Oh, so you unintentionally chose to tell me about Nadir wanting to talk to me only after a whole hour?" I coldly asked him as I already got up to go see Nadir if he didn't leave the villa already thinking I refused to see him.
_" well, at least I was gentleman enough to agree and to tell you, wasn't I?"
I simply ignored him, I quickly changed to more decent clothes and as I was about to leave the room Eliyas suddenly called:
_" Noursine."
When I turned to look at him he very confidently said:
_" I was thinking, that seeing someone as the most beautiful is very subjective, it isn't logical, so it's only heartfelt.. Perhaps, long before you realized it, I was already in your heart."
Well.. He's still a selfish moron After all.