_" Elyaaas~ you're so lucky today! I'm going to take you to my secret place!"
This was what the 8 years old me whispered to the 12 years old shy cousin of mine while shaking him off sleep early in the morning.
He seemed a bit reluctant while looking at my swollen face from sleep and very messy hair, he rubbed his eyes then genuinely asked:
_" Are you taking me to the toy store to buy you a new doll? Nana warned me not to let you take advantage of me again."
I humphed then angrily rebuffed:
_" when did I take advantage of you! And what toy store opens this early in the morning! Since you're being so cheap I changed my mind, I will go out alone to play and leave you here with Nana to chat with her all day long!"
In barely few minutes, he was already prepared to go stroll the streets with me, he stood at the bathroom's door and watched me brush my hair silently.
After I finished tightly holding it in a bun, I handed him a plastic bag and ordered:
_" Hide it well! We're going to need it later."
He nodded with a serious expression, then followed me tiptoeing as we secretly left the house before anyone wakes up, since if we were caught, we won't be allowed out. Of course at the age of 8 it never occured to me that it is necessary to inform my family before leaving in case an accident happened with me while being out, all I was thinking about 24/7 was to enjoy my time fully.
Once we were out early in the morning, Eliyas who wasn't used to our region's morning chill was shivering from cold, still when I asked him whether he felt cold he stubbornly shook his head. I guess it had to do with the way I asked him, I said:
_" Is it so cold for you? If you're feeling cold you have to support it or else I'll cancel our plans for the day."
I felt a bit bad later hearing him cracking his teeth as we walked, I wasn't ready to give up my jacket for his sake either so I gave him a pensive look then generously suggested:
_" let's run the rest of the way, you'll feel warmer when we run!"
Then I immediately started running like if I was chased by a dog, and he followed.
I took him all the way across the muddy wheat fields and rocky lands until we arrived at the top of the hill out of town where I had my secret treasure: the abandoned hawthorn tree!
As I proudly looked at the big tree heavied by the ripe sour fruit my mouth already started to droll.
This tree was all mine by a deal made between the children of my street, and no one was allowed to eat from it, I had to walk a great distance to reach it so I had to bring someone along every time I went, in case I was kidnapped by an organ trafficker, there would at least be someone to report me missing.
So yes, I tricked my then naive cousin into going there with me.
When we finally stopped running, Eliyas who was very sickly started coughing incessantly and had a great difficulty breathing, while weakly kneeling on the ground and trying to gasp for air with a very red face, he took his inhaler out of his pocket and handed it to me.
His inclination was clear: " I should make sure to hand It to him in case things went even worse."
The little phobic me was of course terrified by the sight I was witnessing! I sure knew he was sickly but I didn't expect he would simply die from little running!
I immediately took off my jacket and covered him with it, then numbly kneeled beside him and watched him struggle breathing.
It took him a long time before his breaths finally settled, he looked at me with a tired face and weirdly asked while taking his inhaler back:
_" Is it so cold for you?"
Honestly, If I were him, this definitely wouldn't be the first thing I would say, because I'm a normal person, and normal people usually throw a tantrum when someone almost caused them to die.
Of course I failed to understand this boy's line of thinking, I still fail to understand even the older version of him, still I genuinely replied:
_" I'm not cold! I'm trembling from being scared! Why didn't you tell me you can't run?"
_" I can run." He stubbornly insisted.
I looked at him feeling very guilty, then shamelessly lied:
_" It's good thing you're better now, otherwise I would have had to carry you all the way back to the house, but look at where we are right now, this is my secret place that I let no one comes to! I made an exception for you today so you better be so thankful And don't tell anyone about this it's a secret, otherwise I won't ever trust you again."
Of course he wasn't my only exception I just invented that, my only purpose was to seal his mouth and prevent him from reporting his health crisis to Nana and my parents, so as I don't get severely scalded and punished.
Yet the naive him believed me and smiled from ear to ear being satisfied with this, he was so easily tricked back then.
I initially was planning to make him climb the tree then shake the branches for me so as the fruit falls on the ground and I easily collect it, but seeing how weak and sickly he was, I gave up this idea.
Instead, I used the rope I perfectly hid under a certain rock, I threw it around the branches and shook them by my self.
The big city cousin of mine was naturally very unfamiliar with what I was doing, being the lazy boy that he is, he didn't even help me collect the fallen hawthorns from the ground.
The point isn't me taking advantage of him in our childhood, because he was long aware of it and vaguely had no objections about it.
The point is that I lied to him, and this small lie came haunting me 20 years later!
I told him he was the only person I allowed to visit my tree, and now he discovers I took Nadir there when I was even younger!
_"Sincere in what?" The older and colder him icily asked.
It was at this exact moment that I finally recalled this little trip to the hawthorn tree and my lie, I don't think Eliyas is that petty to remember a little girl's lie, but he really can be very petty sometimes, feeling trapped in my own mischief I nervously replied:
_" I was sincere in wanting to be friends with him, I loved having a lot of friends back then."
_" You had a lot of friends?" He asked with an even darker face.
He was looking at me with penetrating eyes sitting right beside me, and his hand was tightly holding mine, at this point, I started to think maybe there was something else very off about him, I don't think he can be this angry over a silly tree.
As I was struggling to find something to say. Nadir suddenly interrupted us joking:
_" Mr Filladi, I didn't expect you to be so possessive over Noursine."
_"I am." Eliyas replied with a serious tone as he shifted his eyes to look at Nadir, he smiled stiffly and repeated more gently:
_" I am very possessive over my wife.. 'Mrs Filladi' "
Although he was smiling, the atmosphere was still very intense in the silent hall.
As for Mrs Seddiki who earlier tried to offend me, she looked on the verge of having a heart attack from terror.
Then, Ines suddenly asked addressing Nadir:
_" and What about you Mr Ghemmari, will you be this possessive over your future wife?"
_" Miss Filladi, Are you worried that I won't treat you well in the future?" he replied with a chuckle.
She didn't seem like she was in the mood to even smile, she deeply looked at him before adding:
_" I'm just wondering whether you'll treasure your wife as a property.. or as a woman."
They both soon engaged in an intense staring battle. So my mother in-law, probably feeling embarrassed in front of the guests, soon laughed and said:
_" what are you saying Ines! Nadir sure treasures you so much, if people see you now they would think you two don't get along so well!"
She then eyed my father in-law indicating that he should say something, still he totally ignored her, while sitting beside Nana, he seemed more interested in watching his mother doing Tasbih.
Having no one to support her, She could only do what she does best: start bragging about anything.
As the guests and her engaged in chatting and laughter, Eliyas suddenly bent close to my ear and whispered:
_" your face is flushed, are you feverish?"
I sighed and replied as I fanned my face:
_" No, It's the dress, it's too warm for the temperature in the hall."
_" How about we go have a walk in the garden to enjoy fresh air? It's cooler there."
_" it's about time for dinner__" I barely objected when he already stood up and dragged me to the garden.
And yes, he neglected everyone else and didn't even spare them one look.
When we were finally out in the garden I couldn't help laughing heartily remembering how I dumbly believed him earlier when he said that we should go down to dine with our guests, this man never really cared about social etiquettes!
_" You dragged me down to see our guests only to show them how lovely we are as a couple. You're one of your kind, aren't you?" I commented while warmly looking at him when I finished laughing.
My words pleased him endlessly, and he honored them with a wide grin.
As we walked further in the garden I added:
_" but I can't allow you to take more advantage of me unless you tell me you forgive me for that incident in our date, It's unfair to me as well to have my heart stirred for nothing."
He stopped walking, and turned to face me properly and said:
_" Noursine I already forgave you days ago, No matter how bad it is I always fail to harden my heart for too long when it comes to you, but I wanted you to learn something from this incident, I hope you trust me more as your husband."
I smiled joyfully as I asked:
_" So? Does this mean I can sleep on the bed tonight?"
He nodded while laughing.
Ladies and gentleman, I'm finally revived!
Loving someone is very hard isn't it? When he was mad with me, I always felt like if there was this invisible tie strangling my throat, it was painfully suffocating not to have him around me. Now that he's finally back, I feel like I can finally breathe normally.
As we were enjoying peace coming back to us, my sharp ears caught a little movement in the garden, when I turned towards the villa to see if someone was following us from there, I saw that Nadir was indeed walking in our direction.
I couldn't look at him more properly though, because Eliyas soon cupped my face with his palms and he kissed me.
We are not allowed to be intimate around others! But I failed to push Eliyas away and remind him of this and tell him that Nadir was watching.
He was so invested it this kiss, to be precise, he was so invested and violent that I started to think it was not my husband who was kissing me.
His arms pulled me tightly stuck to him as he fiercely ravaged my mouth, he didn't even allow me to breathe and every time I groaned in objection between his lips this only made him more intense!
When he finally had mercy on my weaker body and he parted from me, I reprimandingly punched his chest as I leaned on him gasping for air, and struggled to whisper:
_" Are you planning to kill me?"
_" I'm sorry." He said with a hoarse voice as he pecked my forehead.
I looked at the spot where Nadir was standing earlier, and as expected, he was no longer there.
I hesitated a bit before I had the courage to ask:
_" You saw Nadir coming towards us just now, didn't you?"
_" hmm" he admitted.
I lifted my eyes to questionably look at him and Asked:
_" Eliyas, perhaps, Are you being jealous?"