How to deal with an ice cold angry husband?
Sigh, there's no useful way in dealing with him.
At first, I sincerely tried to apologize to him, I fully understand my mistake, always jumping to wrong conclusions and accusing him before listening to him carefully, I mean I even thought about him cheating on me in the wildness of my imagination! thank god I didn't say this to him in my anger.
Nevertheless, I called him a liar, which is a great deal now that I think about it, I acted so childish and harmed an innocent person, I deeply regret my actions and feel so sad and disappointed in them.
Still, no matter how hard I tried to apologize and repent, he kept ignoring me.
And I mean it literally! I repeatedly said:
_" I'm sorry Eliyas, I wasn't thinking properly."
He just pretended I was a ghost and didn't even look at me!
Not to mention that he stopped talking to me, he didn't even argue with me, he simply stopped talking.
And he stopped sleeping in our room as well.
I remember the first night after we went back from the restaurant he didn't come back home at all, you can imagine how distressed I seriously felt, calling his phone repeatedly although I usually rarely call his phone, sending him a million messages apologizing for what I did and pleading him to come back home to discuss what happened with me, he didn't reply not even once, and made me do a drastic thing like having to contact his protection team personally to make sure he was ok and nothing wrong was happening with him.
They assured me he was in his office busy working, but when the same thing repeated in the following day, he didn't come back home until it was 1 am, even going far to head directly to his bureau at the villa refusing to come back to our room I was so annoyed and angry at him that I decided to go confront him and see why was he acting this childish!
He didn't look surprised at all when I suddenly dashed inside his bureau at 1:30 am, to be precise, he had no expression at all.
I walked in front of him and shouted:
_" Eliyas! Exhausting your self to death won't prove any further how angry you are at me! I'm well aware of that already and I apologize for my unfairness, so just come back to your room and rest properly! If you are so annoyed with my sight I can go anywhere else!"
After I finished speaking though, he simply ignored me, he changed his clothes in front of me as if I wasn't even visible, then he simply lied on the sofa in his bureau and closed his eyes to sleep!!
I was so pissed off by his behavior that I absolutely refused to turn off the light when I walked out of his bureau! His highness had to stand up and do this annoying task by him self or else he had to sleep in a brightly lit room!
,
In fact, I changed my apologizing strategy after this incident, I started to ignore him as well and acted even more childish than he did, I stopped trying to communicate with him, and when Nana asked me what was going on between us both I even lied and said:
_" it's Eliyas who is acting distant and headstrong! If you want to have great grandchildren then you have to go scald him and implant some sense in that head of his!"
I didn't see him not even for one moment for 3 long days, deep inside I was relying on the love he had for me, convincing my self that It was always Eliyas Filladi who gave up to his emotions first among us both and it was always him who tried to reach out to me first, but I deeply underestimated my love and longing for him, by the end of the third day of my self declared strike of talking to my husband, I was so lovesick that I shamelessly sneaked into his bureau at night when he was already asleep, i pushed his heavy sleeping body to the side of the sofa then I lied beside him in the small empty space I created.
Once I rested my head on his warm strong chest and smelled his scent that I missed to the extremes, I felt so overwhelmed by emotions that my eyes became watery, and i whispered while kissing his cheek:
_" I miss you so much Eliyas, I'm in so much hurt already, please forgive me."
And I meant every word..
I might not be the best person to describe my emotions, I assume you're well aware of this already, but I really was in much pain.
Not for a moment I stopped thinking about him, I missed him.. I even missed when he says: "are you awake?" Every morning to me.
I missed the way he coldly spoke, I don't even mind listening to him telling me the happenings with his sister, even more than that, I don't mind listening to him talking about his work!
And most importantly, I missed his touches.. His kisses, I missed how eager he still is to have me after years of being married, even until now .. One look.. The smallest of gestures is still enough to enlighten his fire and desire.
How can I not be pained when he's far from my reach?
My heart was restlessly hurting for the last days, and no description is fair to explain how bad I'm feeling.
So when I finally got to touch him, it was inevitable for me to cry and feel this deep bottomless sadness.. i missed him more than you can imagine.
I hugged him tight and closed my eyes to sleep in the warmth of his embrace.
When I woke up the next morning, I found my self still sleeping in the same position, although I noticed the small space I initially created by pushing Eliyas's body grew larger, consequently, I was sleeping more comfortably, as for the strong warm body I was literally holding onto as if it was the straw which is saving me from drowning, its owner was squeezed to the back of the sofa very uncomfortably, it seemed like someone even when being very angry with me still didn't simply kick me down to the ground, on the contrary, he troubled himself so as I sleep more at ease.
Feeling so warm inside My heart, I lifted my eyes to stare at his sleeping face and maybe to sneakily kiss his cheek again.
To my surprise tough, when my eyes finally rested on his handsome face I found out that he was already awake, and he was looking at me long before I looked at him.
I didn't even think for one slight moment when I already cupped the back of his head with my palms and I kissed his lips.
_" I miss you" I whispered in his ear once I parted with his lips.
Then I looked at him smiling happily afterwards.
My cheerfulness soon grew into powerful desire, my heart started beating so fast and soundly as I scanned Eliyas's face and body, every bit of him looked a thousand times more tempting, feeling this unrestrained feeling filling every inch of my body, I couldn't bear not to touch him and have him closer to me for any additional moment, I immediately started showering him with kisses and all the love words.
I missed him so much that I felt those kisses were not even enough to satisfy the fire burning inside me, So I started acting more animal like..
At first, it was like kissing a bar of wood, he didn't move at all nor tried to kiss me back, he didn't try to push me away though so It meant he didn't hate my actions.
But..Ladies and gentlemen, I'm this man's wife after all and yes I know every trick in the book of that field, I did one small naughty thing that I will conveniently not mention and that was enough to put an end to my husband's desperate attempt of acting indifferent, the roles immediately reversed.
Eliyas quickly flipped me under his body taking the lead, only moments later, he invaded every sense of mine already.
I must admit that it was strongly evident that someone missed me under this light much more than I did him, his actions were so strong and heated that I partly believed that passion can seriously kill sometimes.
He held me so tight to him, his hands became restless and his kisses and bites never stopping.
But before we went further, he suddenly stopped, and looked at me with his flushed face while breathing heavily, then to my astonishment, he stood up from the sofa and quickly stormed out of the bureau leaving me staring at the empty door in disappointment.
It was really an insult to my womanhood that he reached a far point and still found the will to restrain him self, did I become this disgusting in his eyes? This unwanted?
I fixed my disheveled looks then I hugged my knees and cried awfully.
I was really .. Really in hurt.
You see, I rarely cry except when having phobia panics, unless I feel seriously hurt i wouldn't shed a tear.
Even my husband knows this.
When he finally came back to his office and saw my red tearful face he gained his ability to speak again.
He slowly stepped towards me and whispered my name.
When I didn't reply and kept only crying soundlessly he called again worriedly:
_" Noursine."
I looked at him this time round, feeling very wronged I yelled:
_" I said I'm sorry countless times already! But this went too far Eliyas for a simple mistake!"
_" It wasn't a simple mistake!" he yelled back .."Noursine! how many times have you called me a liar already only to find out later that you were wrong? You never learned from your mistake! Trust is the strongest of bonds a couple can have, even stronger than love! If you don't trust me then what is the point of us being married!"
_" let me understand this clearly." I coldly said as I wiped my tears and stood up to face him.
I added:
_" your acting so distant lately, it isn't simply because you're angry, you want a divorce?"
_" when did I say I wanted a divorce?!"
_" then what is it that you want?" I cried.
He stared at me deeply, silently.. Then replied a long time afterwards:
_" Am I not allowed to feel hurt and disappointed too? I have my imperfections too Noursine, I have never worked hard on anything like I worked on us, I cherish you, I do everything I can and can't, always wanting to offer what is best for you but you still doubt me in the first occasion that you get."
I deeply hated my self after this confession of his, he was right .. totally right.
_" I'm sorry." I weakly said as I tried to hug him.
he pushed me away though, and with a shaking voice he said:
_" you told me you have the same feelings for me, So why is it still so hard to reach you?"
It was painful to hear this words from him, I really was very toxic to him.
I always feel that I don't deserve this faithful man the destiny has brought to me, all I ever did to him was to restlessly hurt him for long years, I guess my love is his punishment for all his misdeeds, they must be huge indeed.
Now that I really do love him, I feel more undeserving of him, and that he should be happier.
_" I promise not to accuse you of anything again unless I clearly hear everything that you have to say" I resolutely said.
Taking a deep inhale .. I continued:
_" You know I never break a promise, I fully understand my mistake and it will never happen again, since I already apologized.. I don't think you need to hear more from me, I'll patiently wait until your emotions are settled, whenever you feel at ease, you come to me again, as for the time being, I will not try to discomfort you again."
I stood on my toes, pecked his lips, then carried my pride with me and walked out of his bureau.