I don't talk to Axel for the next two days.
I realized that after our argument, I needed to think through everything he told me free of his presence. I needed a little more time to cry about it, panic, and then convince myself I made the right choice before repeating that process multiple times.
Martina caught on to the fact that something was wrong over the last couple days and finally speaks up as we're packing up the last of our things in our room.
"Whitney, I really hate being nosy, but did something happen to you?" she asks, pulling me away from the clothes I've been busying myself. We sit down on my bed. "Something that might have to do with a guy named Axel?"
"Would there be a point in lying?"
"Really, Whitney?"
"Yes, something did happen," I admit, running my hands down the thighs of my jeans and sighing. "But I don't think I have the time to explain it all."
She places a comforting hand on my shoulder. "I wasn't looking for an explanation. I'm just worried about you, okay?"
"I appreciate it, Martina," I reply, giving her a thankful smile. "There's not much you could do anyway."
She sighs, getting up and stretching her arms behind her head. "Oh, guys. This is why I think I'm bi. They are just too much sometimes." I hold my mouth at the unattractive chuckle that comes out of it, and a self-satisfied smirk crosses her face. I jokingly link our arms as we leave our room to head to Room 100 for the last meeting of the camp.
We head out together, catching Willow on the way, and the three of us walk in together. The girls have begun to gather, and I realize all the trainers are standing against the back wall. Axel is at the end, and he slowly tilts his head up when he notices my presence. He sends me a small, weak smile, and the one I return is even less noticeable.
"Everyone stand," Bob orders, and girls scramble up to their feet. It feels identical to what happened when we first arrived, only all of us know exactly what to expect now.
"As owners of this camp we are very proud of all of your progress and accomplishments here at Bob Campbell's Intense Boot Camp," Cindy says, linking arms with Bob, and he gives her a smile. My heart warms at their small display of affection.
"And none of this could have been done without all of our hardworking trainers, so go ahead and give them a round of applause," Bob tells us, and all the girls break out into loud claps. I clap quietly, looking at the floor.
"We have a certificate here for each of you to mark your completion and to always remember this experience," Cindy says and begins passing them out by names. When she approaches me, she also hands me a large brown envelope.
"This has all the rest of the details for becoming a trainer," she tells me. "We'll be in touch once you make your decision."
"Thank you," I say, and she smiles and nods.
"Anyway, you'll all be going home very shortly so we just wanted to say we wish you a great rest of the summer and hope that if you got anything out of this camp, it's that there are other forms of working out besides walking to the fridge," Bob says, and we all begin to laugh. "You're all done here so you may leave."
Lots of the girls quickly file out, but I trail behind, Martina and Willow a few feet ahead of me. I look at the envelope in my hands and peek inside, seeing a stack of forms and papers.
As I step outside, a familiar hand lands on my shoulder. I turn around, gulping as I see Axel standing there, his hands stuffed into his pockets and his eyes set more on the ground than my face.
"Can't leave without saying goodbye, right?" he says.
I grasp his hand. "It's not goodbye."
"Wait, what?"
"It's not goodbye because this isn't the end," I say. "I've done a lot of thinking the past two days, and truth be told, I don't know when we ever might work together. But one thing I do know is I can't let go after all of this."
"Do you really mean that?" he asks, grasping both sides of my face.
"Yeah, I do," I reply quietly. "That is if I'm not utterly insane for saying this after knowing you for only five weeks."
"Fuck timelines." I want to roll my eyes, but he tilts my head up to give me a reserved kiss on the lips before letting me go. "Out of all things that can get in our way, don't let that be it, Whitney."
"I'll try not to," I answer with a small chuckle. I look behind me, knowing Martina must be wondering where I am. "So, I guess I'm just going to say goodbye. For now."
"For now," he repeats, and we drift to each other again. We hug for a few short moments before we hear a clear of a throat behind us.
"Glad to see everyone getting along," Bob comments from behind Axel. We rip ourselves apart, and my cheeks grow fiery. Axel clears his throat into his fist, sending a weak smile to his boss.
"My pleasure, Bob," he says sheepishly, and Bob gives him a firm pat on the back, chuckling to himself. I shyly fold my hands together, wanting to melt into the grass.
"See you next year, Whitney," Bob tells me and shakes my hand with approval. He begins walking away, stretching his arms above his head and mumbling, "Ah, at last, my freedom."
After exchanging numbers and giving one last hug to Axel, I go back to the dorms to grab my suitcase and say my goodbyes to Martina and Willow. I find them outside my room with their bags in their hands laughing over something. I grab my own and my phone and leave the room again.
"Whitney!" they both yell, and we all gather into a group hug. We stay there like that for a few moments, and I feel a tear slip out of my eye. I quickly wipe it away as I get out of the hug.
"I'm going to miss you guys a lot," I tell them with a warm smile.
"We've shared one room for the past five weeks, it's going to be so strange at home," Martina says solemnly leaning against the wall. "This has actually been so much more fun than I thought."
"It really has," Willow says and suddenly begins to cry. I look at her and realize a few tears begin to fall out of my eyes and even Martina cracks. We're a hideous mess, wiping away tears with the backs of our hands.
"I'm not even an emotional person, why the hell am I crying," Martina states, beginning to laugh at herself. We go from crying to laughing and if anyone was watching, I'm sure they'd question our sanity.
I look down at my phone, seeing a text from my mother saying she'll be arriving in five minutes. It feels like a matter of seconds, however, before her white car pulls up in front of me. I wave goodbye at everyone and speed walk to where she is, realizing just how much I missed her.
She steps out of her car, and her eyes widen when she sees me.
"Whitney?" she says, looking me over. "Oh my gosh, you look so different!"
"Mom," I say, coming over and wrapping my arms around her. I feel like a small child as she wraps her arms around my back and smooths my hair.
She lets go and looks at me. "You look like you've grown up so much, like such a strong, young woman. What did they do to you here?" she jokes, taking my bag and hauling it into the trunk. We get into the car quickly.
"It's been a long five weeks, Mom," I tell her. She pulls out of the lot, and the camp gets smaller and smaller as we drive away.
My heart cracks.
"It sure has," she answers, taking a left turn. "We've missed you so much at home, especially Poppy."
"I've missed her too," I answer, thinking about all the calls that helped us grow close again this summer. "I was really homesick at first."
"I'd understand," she answers, driving back down the main road. "How did this camp even go? Did it meet your expectations?"
And beyond. "It was kind of...crazy in the beginning. I didn't realize how much exercise there was going to be, and I was always tired. Honestly thought I was going to quit two weeks in, but it got better," I explain, looking over at her. "And... I ended up winning a prize too."
"That's great!" she exclaims. "What did you get?"
"An opportunity to become a trainer at the camp next summer," I tell her. "It seems far-fetched, I know."
"You should take it," she tells me. "I know you can do it."
"I wouldn't miss it," I murmur.
The rest of the ride home we converse about various things, and every time we get closer to the house I realize how much I actually missed being at home. She pulls up on our driveway and parks, unlocking the car.
I grab my suitcase and walk inside the house ahead of my mother, smelling the scent of freshly brewed coffee and fresh air from the open windows. I close my eyes for a moment before walking into the living room, seeing Poppy on the couch with her phone. She looks up and her eyes widen.
"Whitney! I missed you so much!" She runs towards me and almost knocks me to the floor with the force of her hug. We squeeze each other for a solid minute, rocking from side to side, the other refusing to let go as one of us tries. She holds me at arm's length in front of her, surveying my physical state. "God, you look so different! What did they do to you there?"
I toss my head back, laughing. "Does a shit ton of exercise sound accurate enough?"
"Pretty much," she answers, sitting back down on the couch. "I'll let you go settle back in upstairs but I expect to hear all of your stories."
I walk to the stairs and drag my hundred-pound bag up with me, dropping it into my room before walking into my bathroom. I shut the door behind me and lock it, leaning against it.
I stare at the wall next to the mirror, avoiding my reflection, because I know my cheeks are turning red again, along with my eyes.
How did that experience fly by so fast? It feels like I was just sitting in my bedroom, dreading the thought of ever signing up and now I'm back, like nothing has ever changed.