"Summer has been lonely without you."
I grin as Mina appears on my phone, recounting to me her past few weeks. Apparently, she won second place in her tennis championship to a four-foot-nine fifteen-year-old and has successfully avoided Willow's mother all summerâso far.
"It feels weird not seeing you every day. I can't remember the last time this ever happened."
"Never," she answers. "But anyway, tell me what's going on with you. I hate the unknown, Whitney."
I sigh, not knowing where to start. "I met a guy?"
Her eyes widen, and her jaw drops. "Wait, you did what? Like is he Jonah status or actually good?"
I cringe as she mentions Jonah. "He was all your fault."
"I've apologized before, okay? I'm sorry."
"Let's not go there," I say. As I look closer at the screen, I notice she is sitting on a familiar brown wooden chair. "Mina, are you at my house?"
"Uh...yes?"
I crinkle my brow in confusion. After all, since I'm not there, why is she sitting on my patio? "Why?"
"Well, when I bought a coffee early this morning, I saw your sister. She asked if I still played tennis. I said yes, and she invited me join her for doubles with Levi and your dad. I decided to stay at the Carmichael residence afterward. Oh, come on, your mom makes the best sandwiches."
I'm silent at first. Not because Mina is lounging on my favorite chair on the patio enjoying my mother's food. It's because my best friend spent a nice morning with my father and sister before I could this summer. Maybe she was more fun than me. I would have probably replicated last time's disaster if I was there.
"Whitney, is something wrong?"
I shake my head. "No, nothing is wrong," I answer. "Actually, I'm late for an event at camp. We'll talk another time! Miss you!"
I end the video call and get up from my bed. Maybe I am exaggerating the whole ordeal, but I can't overlook it. It's like the cherry on top of the melted ice cream sundae of a relationship I have with my father.
I don't think I ever recall a time he and I were close. Aside from providing my basic necessities, he's never cared to form a real relationship with me: to get to know who I am and appreciate the things that make me me, not hate the things that make me different from my sister.
My mind flits to Axel. He doesn't have a father anymore, which makes my heart wrench. Maybe it could always be worse.
The door creaks open, and Martina walk in, throwing herself onto her bed. Her hair's a mess and her cheeks are flushed, the aftermath of a grueling workout.
"Hi," I say, breaking the tension. Since a couple of days ago, when I asked about her tattoos, we've been rather awkward with each other.
"Hi," she answers hesitantly. Her fingers fiddle at a loose string on her running shorts, her eyes pointed at the ground.
"Martina, I don't know why we're acting like this."
She glances up and a small smile spreads onto her lips. "I'm sorry. I don't know either. I got way too defensive last time." I walk over and pull her into a hug despite her sweatiness. She squeezes me back.
"Look," she says, turning around and pulling her thick tank top strap to the side. I see a tattoo of a purple butterfly with intricate wings.
"It's so pretty," I remark, my own hand moving to my shoulder. I've never really been interested in tattoos.
"I got more tattoos throughout high school," she says, tugging her tank top strap back to normal. "I did a lot of things during high school. Not all good..."
"So you were the resident bad girl?"
She giggles. "Not quite Whitney. Just not as sweet and innocent as you."
"I am not sweet and innocent, my gosh."
She shrugs. "I can be ninety-nine percent sure you haven't had sex yet."
"What does that have to do with innocence?" I ask, throwing up my hands in the air.
"It's a form of corruption, in a sense," she replies, lying back on her bed and staring at the ceiling. "And you're still pure from it. Wish I could say the same."
"Well maybe I want to wait for the right guy," I reply, heading to the door.
"Call me when you find him!" Martina calls jokingly, and I shut the door behind me.
***
While Mina has succeeded in avoiding Willow's mother all summer, I have been trying to avoid the daughter herself. I haven't spoken to Willow since she stopped me in the dorm hallway and was unable to convey her point due to Martina's interruption.
I wonder what she wanted to tell me. Coincidentally, while walking across the grass, I find her. She's sitting underneath a large oak tree, her eyes glued to her phone and her knees up and bent. I don't know why she's sitting underneath a tree, since there's air conditioning inside and no insects ready to tangle themselves up in your hair.
"Did you get locked out of your room?" I ask her, tightening my ponytail defensively.
"Noâuh yeah, noâI didn't expect to see you here," she answers in a jumble, a lock of smooth blonde hair falling across her cheek.
"Neither did I," I reply. "But seriously, why are you alone out here?"
"Try being Adriana's roommate," she grumbles. "I've never met a girl who bitches that much."
I let out a half-scoff half-laugh. "I actually came to ask you something."
"Oh, what?"
"What'd you want to tell me in the hall a few days ago?"
She is taken off guard, and her lips open to speak, but then close. She stands, clasping her hands behind her back. "I wantedânever mind i-it's stupid."
"Please just tell me already. You didn't think it was stupid before."
"Okay, I knew you were coming hereâ"
"Wait, what?" I interject. She swallows and nods.
"Just let me explain. I found out from Mina; that's one of the reasons I decided to sign up. I wanted to talk to you without anyone interfering."
I take a step back and stare at her. "You followed me....to this camp, where I planned on going alone, just to talk with no interference?"
She shakes her head. "No, that's notâyou don't get all of it, Whitney."
"Then tell me," I say, looking her in the eye. She opens her mouth and begins stuttering, unable to speak.
"I-I..." she begins, before shaking her head. "Never mind. You should just go."
I don't hesitate.
Every time I confront Willow, I feel like that book-nerd young teen who accepted insults and sneers and locked herself in her room alone. I hate remembering that part of my life, which was why I was certain I'd be able to forget about it coming here. She's making it almost impossible, even though I know it's not all her fault.
Uncontrollable tears of embarrassment well up in my eyes, and I try to wipe them away, but my palms don't work as well as tissues. I collide into something and stumble forwards.
"Whitney, what are you doing?" The aggravated, yet surprisingly comforting voice of Axel rings through my ears as I push away from him and gather my hair out of my face.
"I'd answer if I knew," I mumble.
"Your eyes are red..." he remarks, taking a step closer. "You were crying."
"No, I'm actually high on weed."
"Good God, Whitney," he mumbles, running a hand through his soft brown hair. "Look, if you wanna explain what happened, I'm here. Don't have anywhere else to be right now."
"I'm not in the mood of talking," I answer, striding away. Not like he usually is either.
Unfortunately, his speed is my downfall.
He grabs onto my shoulder, forcing me to face him. "You came to learn how to be stronger. I'm here to teach you. So if you want to spend our sessions hiding in your sob stories, I suggest you find another partner."
I'm speechless, but I yank his large hand off of me. "Before you say things like that, why don't imagine being me for a day."
"What do you mean?"
"I mean maybe you'd understand how hard this is for me. That me literally being here at this camp and giving it my damn best every day is an accomplishment itself. I'm not you, Axel, and you clearly like to remind me of that all the fucking time."
Axel closes his eyes briefly and then opens them. "Come here," he says, beckoning to me with his hands. I am wary at first, but then he closes the gap between us. His muscular arms wrap around my smaller body, and he rests my head against his chest. We stay like that for what seems like forever, my head listening to his heartbeat, his arms tightly wrapped around mine.
"I was planning on doing sprints today, but I have another idea. You might even like it."