Author's note: I am really sorry for pulling a disappearing act in the middle of the story. If you guys are still hanging around I am really grateful for you. Hope you enjoy this chapter. ð¥°
"Mom and Dad there is something I want to talk with you about," Chan mumbled under this breath, climbing up the steps to his house. He had been rehearsing the speech all the way from Veronica's inn.
Pushing the door open, he entered the house. The place was quiet and for a second he let himself bask in it, building up the courage. He knew his parents' response. He knew they were going to support him. Happy that he was finally taking this step for himself. But there was a small part in his heart, incessant in its reminder that he was walking out on his family. Betraying them. That he was going to regret not being around.
Chan shook his head, dispelling all negative thoughts he called out to his mom.
"Chan," his mom called out from her room. "Is that you?"
He headed in his mom's direction, every step laden with uncertainty, guilt, and apprehension. Knocking on her door, he entered. His mom was sitting on her bed, a book opened in her lap. She watched him enter, her expression welcoming and warm.
She patted the space beside him for him to sit down. Chan did. She must have seen something on his face because she sat up straighter, putting her book aside. Peering at him with fondness, she asked, "Is everything okay?"
Chan gulped. He tried smiling, trying to push past the guilt in his throat that was making him want to throw up. "Yeah," he choked out and cleared his throat. "Yeah, everything is okay. I just..I was hoping to talk to you and Dad about something."
"Your father had a class at the centre, he left fifteen minutes ago," she replied, pursing her lips. "But you can tell me whatever it is."
Chan looked at his mom. The face of the woman who meant the world to him. Everyone said that Chan looked more like his dad, it might be true but he knew his mom and him shared the same nature. Maybe that was why, she was the easiest person for him to talk to. And the hardest. Because she always understood what he wanted to say.
"Channie, what is it?"
He had to bite the bullet. Take this step. He exhaled a heavy breath and before he could lose his nerve, said in one breath, "I have been thinking about moving out. To get an apartment for myself closer to the university. I know this is very out of the blue but I have been thinking about it for some time. And I know it sounds selfish-"
His mom cut him off by hugging him. Chan stopped talking, too taken aback by the response. Gently he patted his mom on the back, unsure of what to do next.
His mom was the first to break the silence. Still hugging him, she said, "I am so proud of you, my baby. There is absolutely nothing selfish about what you want."
And suddenly all the pent-up emotions came to the surface as Chan hugged his mother back, tears escaping his eyes. Jessica rubbed his back gently, letting him take his time.
"I know you are afraid," his mom whispered. "But you have to let this go. It is the only way you can move forward. You can't save anyone if you don't save yourself first."
ð¤
I talked with mom
Chan messaged Veronica. Waited if she would see his message, and when she didn't, he pocketed his phone back.
The talk with his mom had removed the gnawing feeling in his gut. He still felt unsure but there was also a lightness in his chest. Like he could breathe again after being underground for years. His phone vibrated in his pocket and he pulled it out with a grin on his face thinking that it was Veronica replying to his text.
His smile dimmed when he read the name on the notification bar. Diana.
Can we meet?
Chan stared at the text for a while, his thumbs hovering over the keyboard. He hadn't seen Diana since the night of her party. He didn't know what to say to her. He wasn't even sure if he wanted to see her at this moment. But maybe she wanted to talk things through. Maybe they could use this opportunity to clear the air.
Sure, he typed. Where do you want to meet?
My place? She typed back.
Chan typed back a quick yes before getting into his car and driving off. He arrived at Diana's ten minutes later. When Diana opened the door to let him in Chan could tell that something was weird. She wasn't meeting his eyes.
Chan took his place on the couch, his eyes tracking Diana's movement as she fussed about the kitchen to get him a cup of tea. Five minutes later, she entered carrying a tray in her arms and sitting beside him.
"What's up?" he asked, grabbing a cup from the tray she had placed before them.
She bit her lips, playing with a lock of her hair. It took Chan a while to notice that as they were sitting, their legs were touching. He didn't notice it because the contact had come to mean nothing to him.
"I wanted to talk," she replied. "I- I get what you are trying to do okay?"
Chan scrunched his eyes, putting his cup back on the tray. "What are you saying?"
Diana looked at him then and Chan didn't understand what he saw swimming in his eyes. The expression unreadable. "By dating Veronica. I get it. You can stop now."
Chan didn't know if he was outraged or amused. "Stop dating Veronica? And why would I ever do that?"
"Because," Diana started, moving closer to him. Chan suppressed the reflex to move away. "I know you were just doing it to make me jealous and I am. I am jealous okay? Jealous enough to ask you to come back to me. Because I want you back. I- I fucked up. I know it now. I should have been patient. I should have given you time to bounce back. But I didn't. And I hurt you. But I know you feel the same. I know you miss me. Miss what we had."
Chan was speechless. He had never expected this speech from Diana. Had he once dreamt of her wanting him back? Yes, but not anymore. Not when he had finally moved on. When he had someone as wonderful as Veronica in his life.
"What happened at my party," Diana continued, unaware of his inner turmoil. "You wanted it too. I know you wanted me to kiss you but-"
Chan had had enough. He couldn't stay quiet any longer. "Nothing happened at your party. You were drunk and tried to kiss me and I didn't want it. Please, Diana, let's not do this."
Her expression hardened, eyes storming with anger. "Bullshit. I know you still feel the connection between us. If only you had given me more time, I would have realized this myself and you wouldn't have to drag Veronica into this. But it doesn't matter. I took care of it as well."
Chan stilled. "What did you do?"
"I told her," Diana explained, reaching out to grab his hands. Chan was too focused on the words coming out of her mouth to pay attention to anything else. "I told her that we almost kissed at the party. I think that was enough to send her the message that she needed to back off. Because-Chan what's wrong?"
He had wrenched his hands back as if she had scorched him. Getting up, he walked towards the door. He had to find Veronica. Had to talk to her. He heard Diana coming after him but didn't stop.
"Where are you going?" She asked, her voice incredulous.
Chan whipped his head towards her, for once showing his anger on his face. Diana took a step back. "Why did you do that? Especially when you know nothing happened between us. When you know that I want nothing more than friendship from you. I-" his voice broke and he had to steady his breath. "I love her. And you will not hurt her again."
With that last sentence, he exited her apartment and rushed to his car, eager to see Veronica's face. To clear up whatever seeds of misunderstanding Diana had sowed between them. The unease swimming in his chest only made him panic more.
He did not want Veronica to think that she had let another person into her life just for him to hurt and leave her. He moved through the traffic in a hurry, dialling her number on his phone in the process.
Parking his car in the inn parking lot, he rushed out of the car. Looking around the lobby for her, he scanned every face in his vicinity but didn't locate Veronica. He stepped back outside, scanning the surroundings of the inn. The sun was in the process of setting, washing everything into a peaceful shade of orange and red. The panic in his throat kept rising a notch the longer he didn't spot Veronica. Until his eyes snagged onto a figure sitting on one of the benches in the park.
He moved towards Veronica, quick to close the distance between them. She was looking to her side, watching a squirrel climb up a tree. Dry leaves crumbled under his shoes, making his presence known. She turned to look at him. A small smile forming on her face as her eyes landed on him.
"Channie," she said, patting the space beside her for him to sit down.
Chan was heaving heavily, out of breath as he sat down. He scanned her face for any hint of anger. But she just looked happy to see him.
"I didn't know you were coming," she said, turning towards him.
"I called," he replied, reaching out and grabbing her hands, afraid that she might walk away from him.
"My phone was almost dying so I put it on airplane mode but-"
Chan cut her off. Wanting to clear the air. He had spent enough time with her to know how good Veronica was at masking her emotions. It might appear like she was okay but deep inside she might be shattering into a million pieces.
"I know Diana talked to you."
Veronica stopped speaking. Opening and closing her mouth a couple of times. But Chan rushed through the words that were begging to be spilled out of his mouth. "It is not true. I promise nothing happened. Yes, it is true that Diana tried to kiss me but I didn't want her to. I stopped her. And I know you asked me if anything had happened and I didn't tell you but it was not because I wanted to hide it from you. I said nothing happened because in my head that moment amounted to nothing. Also, I was afraid that you might suggest breaking things off if I told you that Diana had tried to kiss me. And I didn't want to stop seeing you. So, I didn't say anything."
"Chan, it's okay," Veronica said in-between but Chan could not stop the words coming out of his mouth. He had to make sure that she believed him. That he still had her. He could not live with himself knowing that she was hurting because of him.
"And I promise," he continued. "Nothing like this will ever happen in the future. I want to be with you. Only you. I-"
Veronica shut him up with a kiss, breathing life back into him. It took a second for him to respond. Cupping her face, he kissed her back, getting lost in the feel of her lips on him.
When they broke off, Veronica spoke first. "I trust you, Chan. I will admit that when Diana said all that stuff about the two of you, my first instinct was to believe the worst but deep inside I knew that voice was wrong. That I was not wrong in placing my trust in you. So, I waited to talk to you."
The evening breeze was cold on their skin and Chan suppressed a shiver. "Are we good?"
Veronica reached out, intertwined their fingers and placed her head on his shoulder. "We are good."