"Did we advertise for extra staff?" Veronica asked, her head bent over her register. "For Chan's parents vow renewal?"
"Yes," Cassie answered, flipping through her binder. "Martin wants to interview them."
Veronica sighed. "I hope they are prepared."
The preparations for the vow renewal had started. Veronica hadn't been this excited about a project for a long time. They were planning on doing everything era appropriate. She just hoped the execution looked as flawless as she had pictured it in her head.
"Did Chan's mom send the guest list?"
"No," Cassie replied. "Do you think we should remind her again?'
Veronica closed the register, walking into the hallway. "I will reach out to her in a couple of days. Did Mr. Smith check-out?"
Martin must have heard her ask the question because he replied, "No, he's planning on staying two more days."
Veronica frowned. "But we wanted to give his room to the Ms. Riley. Do we have any more open rooms?"
The inn had been booked solidly for the past couple of weeks. With the weather changing, more and more people were seeking out the small town charm.
Martin nodded. "Room 5. The Dawson's canceled their booking. We should also ask your mother-in-law if she has some guests traveling for the renewal who'd like to stay the night. So we can make reservations for them."
Veronica ignored the mother-in-law comment and made a note in her diary to talk to Chan's mom about any guests coming from other cities. Martin left when he saw one of the members of the trekking group. Apparently, he was allergic to people who were too into nature.
"I know you are staring at me," Veronica said to Cassie. She could feel her best friend's eyes trying to pierce holes through her.
"Are you okay?"
"Yeah," Veronica replied, gesturing to one of the cleaning staff to clear away the empty coffee cups. She should get a cup of coffee for herself. "Why?"
The frustration in Cassie's voice was evident. "Because you were in the middle of a panic attack when I picked you up. Do you want to talk about it?"
This was the last thing she wanted. She didn't even want to spend a microsecond of her life thinking about her mother. Or Eddie. And she had been doing a pretty good job. Work had been busy enough to keep her mind off things. And she wanted to continue to keep it that way. She knew she was avoiding the issue. Running away from it. But Veronica knew her limits. And at the moment, she knew she didn't have it in her to push past them.
"I really don't," she replied, making sure her tone was polite. After all, Cassie was just looking out for her. "I don't think I can."
Cassie nodded, closing her binder. "I understand. I just want you to know that I am here. If you need."
Veronica smiled and gently squeezed Cassie's palm in gratitude. Cassie's shift was over, and she left to attend some evening lecture she had. Veronica went to the kitchen to get herself a cup of coffee. Minho was on sick leave, and she missed him. The little gossip sessions they had whenever she came in for a fresh cup of coffee. She made a mental note to check up on him. Bring him some flowers and fruits.
She finished her cup of coffee alone, planning out the invitations for Jessica's vow renewal. She was so lost in her thoughts that when her phone buzzed, she didn't check the caller ID and just picked up the phone.
"Hello?"
"Ronnie." The voice made her freeze over, her fingers hovering midway on the keyboard.
"Hello? Can you hear me?" Eddie asked when she didn't reply.
"Where did you get my number?" But she already knew the answer to the question.
"Your mother." She could hear the smile in his voice. It made her skin crawl.
"I am hanging up," she said, not wanting to listen to his voice for even a second longer. "Don't call me again."
She disconnected the call before Eddie could reply. When the phone rang again, she declined the call and blocked the number. Life was a cruel joke. Here, she was trying to hard not to think about that part of her life. To just simply live one day before feeling like she was coming apart at the seams. And then, she had to hear his voice.
A wave of nausea came over her. Revulsion mixed with exhaustion. Gripping the edges of the table, she made herself focus on taking deep breaths. Once she was sure she felt better, Veronica opened her eyes and got back to work.
"Aren't you leaving?" Martin asked, shrugging on his coat. "Lucielle is already here for her shift."
Veronica yawned and took a sip of her now cold coffee. "I just have a little more work to do."
"Thankfully, I don't," he replied and walked out of the kitchen.
Veronica got back to her laptop, finalizing the decorations for the vow renewal. She didn't remember falling asleep. One minute, she was looking through candelabras, and the next, she was blinking herself awake.
It took her a minute to realize that she had fallen asleep at one of the tables in the restaurant. She was more surprised to find that she wasn't alone. Chan was sitting beside her, his head on the table, eyes closed.
When had he come in? How had she not realized it?
He must have felt her move because his eyes opened up a second later. His lips spreading into a lazy smile.
"When did you come in?" She asked, running a hand through his hair.
"About twenty minutes ago," he replied. "Lucielle told me you were working here."
Veronica nodded, closing her laptop. "Yeah, I lost track of time, though."
Resting his chin on his palm, he watched her gather her things. It felt nice to feel his gaze on her. Like she was basking under the sun on a chilly day. "Let's go?"
Chan got up, taking her laptop bag from her. "You have been spending a lot of time at the inn. You've barely rested."
Veronica knew he was right. She was keeping herself busy. Working to the bone, tiring herself so that the minute her head hit the pillow, she fell asleep.
"Just making sure your parents' vow renewal goes perfectly," she replied as the two of them walked out of the inn. "I will come by your house tomorrow to get the guest list from your mom. And -" Veronica stopped mid sentence, her eyes glued to the person standing before her.
"Mom?"
She felt Chan stiffen beside her, moving closer. Her throat was dry. Her mother was still dressed in her diner uniform. Veronica didn't have to think about the last time her mom had visited her. The answer was very simple. Never.
"What are you doing here?" She asked, taking a step further.
Helene pulled out a cigarette and lit it. "Wanted to talk to you."
But Veronica didn't. In fact, she had no interest in what Helene had to say to her. She had been trying so hard to forget everything.
Veronica grabbed Chan's hand and made an attempt to walk past her mother, but Helene grabbed her by the arm.
Veronica jerked herself free, her anger rising in her throat, making it painful to get the words out. "What do you want? Why are you here?"
Her mother at least had the decency to look ashamed as she said, "I need some money."
Veronica wanted to laugh. "Why? Did Eddie not give you any? After I told you he wouldn't."
Helene's face twisted at her words. Her mother was still wearing the same jacket she had always worn. The blue nothing but a faded hue.
"It is not about him. I need the money. So, I am asking my daughter. You had no problem giving it to me before."
Daughter? Had her mother really called Veronica that. She felt a searing pain inside her chest. Like a knife had pierced through it.
"Daughter?" She asked, her voice incredulous. "You have the audacity to call me that after you've never been a mother to me?" Veronica bit the inside of her cheek. "You need the money for him, right? He asked you. Because I wasn't picking up his calls?"
Her mother didn't reply, shifting on her feet uneasily. She tried not to feel embarrassed by the fact that Chan was witnessing this. What he must think of her family when he compared it to his.
"I don't have any money to give to either of you."
Veronica was trying really hard not to cry. She didn't want her mother to see it. Honestly, Veronica wanted nothing to do with her.
"You had no problem," Helene said, her words sharp. "Giving me money before. You used to send it regularly. Now suddenly, you don't have any?"
Veronica wondered at her fate. Why she was stuck with a mother like this. Why, no matter how hard she tried to be happy, her mother had to come and ruin it. She was tired of caring. Tired of wanting her mother to notice her. To realize that she had a daughter.
"Because I am doing what you asked me to," Veronica said, sniffing. "I am butting out of your life. I understand it now, I truly do." She moved closer, looking Helene in the eyes. "All those years growing up, even now, you told me so many times how you didn't want me. It was my fault for not believing you. For still trying to find a family in you."
A few tears escaped her eyes, and she wiped them off quickly. "I tried so hard to hold on to you. Even after I left. I am so sorry about that. I am also sorry for ruining your life. I know you never wanted a kid. Being stuck with me must have sucked. But I am letting you go now. And I hope you will do the same."
She spared one last look in her mother's direction. Committing to the memory, the shape of her face, the lines, and wrinkles. "And tell Eddie, the next time he tries to call me or come to the inn. I will call the police on him."
Veronica walked away. Her steps and heart heavy. Her mother didn't call out her name or made an effort to stop Veronica. She wasn't surprised.
She hadn't expected to say this to Helene. But seeing her mother before her. Watching in front of her eyes that the only thing that made Helene visit her daughter was Eddie's greed. It was enough to give her strength.
Chan opened the passenger door for her. They didn't talk as he drove her back home. She knew that he wanted to. But Veronica was exhausted. She barely had it in her to not fall asleep right that second. As a kid, Veronica had gone to bed almost every night wishing that when she woke up, her life would be different.
She wondered if her mother cared even one bit about what Veronica had said. If her words had simply fallen on deaf ears. She meant what she had said. She was learning to let go of her past. To let go of the people. She had realized that after all that time, the reason she still kept sending money to her mom was because she wanted to be needed by her. So that she might have some importance in her life. Even if it was monetary.
"Veronica?" Chan called her name. They had reached her apartments. He was looking at her, his eyes soft in the moonlight.
She tried to manage a smile for him. But couldn't. "I am okay. Just tired." She knew she was falling. The ground under her feet had opened up into a drop so deep that she wasn't sure she had it in her to survive.
He grabbed her hand, squeezing it. "Let's go home." She could see it in his eyes. The promise that it was okay for her to freefall. That he would catch her. so she did.
The two of them entered her apartment. Veronica changed her clothes and got into her bed. Chan fed Pumpkin and placed a glass of water on her bedside table. Taking off his jacket and shoes, he got in next to her.
They stayed like that. Looking at each other. Not touching. When the tears finally came, Veronica felt the knot in her chest unravel as Chan pressed their bodies together, embracing her.
"It's okay," he mumured, brushing his lips against her hair. "You are okay."
She fell asleep like that. Tears dried on her cheeks. His heartbeat an echo of hers. And despite feeling like she was sitting at the bottom of a pit, she could see the sunlight illuminating the way out.