Chapter 50: Chapter 28: I Don’t

NATE

I seem to be walking down a long hall and entering a cement room. There are no windows and only the door I came in through.

I can make out some items around the room along the wall, but then I see Jocelyn lying curled up right in the middle of the room. She just cries and mumbles incoherently to herself, shaking.

I kneel about five feet away and call out her name softly. It makes her cry for me and look up with eyes that are swollen shut.

She reaches out desperately, calling my name to save her. I try to reach for her hand, but it’s like I can’t move. I start to panic because she keeps screaming for me to save her.

I struggle, trying to free a hand to reach for her. The moment I get it free, I see Ricardo kneeling behind her and looking at me with a sinister grin.

I quickly reach, but he is faster and pulls her away by her leg, laughing. She just keeps screaming for me, and I keep screaming back, then I hear a gunshot and her screaming stops.

I quickly sit up with sweat dripping down my face, then Mandy wakes up and tries to comfort me.

To say I am beyond my realm of anger is an understatement. I had to sit down with Dad and have a long talk. The image of Jocelyn lying there is forever etched into my mind.

The nightmares have been unbearable, and I welcome sitting up with Mason so I don’t have to sleep. It’s the same nightmare night after night: I didn’t save her, and he killed her.

I either hear him shoot her, hear her struggling for air with him choking her, or hear him stomping on her and her bones breaking.

I quickly get up and go out the door, walking down to Jocelyn and Jessie’s room. I have done it so many times just to make sure she is okay. I lightly knock, and when Jessie opens the door, he looks like hell also.

“You can’t sleep either?” Jessie asks.

“No, man, it’s the same nightmare again.”

“I know what you mean. Jocelyn woke up screaming again, which woke me up out of my nightmare. I dunno what to do. They must have really done a number on her.

“I am just thankful she can at least see me out of her one eye so she knows I am not them. I was getting tired of being hit when I tried to comfort her. It would take at least five minutes of her swinging to finally register my voice.”

“Do you think she will ever talk to us?” I ask.

“I am hoping she will now that she can see us.”

“I know Ricardo is gone, but it’s like he’s still wreaking havoc, and he isn’t even here! I am going to go and get back to Mandy. Little man should be waking up soon for food. Poor girl, I swear he is eating every hour.”

“No problem, man. I will see you in a few hours.”

I take my leave and quickly head back to my room and, sure enough, as soon as I walk in, Mason is starting to stir. I quickly change him and head over to Mandy. I feel so bad for getting her up, but the kid needs to eat.

I pat her on the shoulder, and she takes him and pops her boob into his mouth without even waking up. I sit and wait until he has had his fill and is passed out again.

I take him back over to his bassinet and lay him back down. I get a few hours of sleep before we are back up again with a crying baby. I change him quickly and pass him off as I head downstairs for some much-needed coffee.

It’s been almost a week since we rescued Jocelyn, and she has finally made it out of her room to the kitchen. She sees me, gets up, and runs to me, jumping into my arms.

I stand there holding her, crying, just trying to imagine what she has been through. After I set her down, I see my mom, dad, Jessie, and Frankie in the kitchen.

“She is ready to talk, Nate, so keep your cool, man, just like I told everyone else.”

I simply nod at Jessie, and we all turn toward Jocelyn. I see her take a deep breath and start from the moment they took her.

Jessie can see my hands gripping the island so hard my knuckles are turning white. He puts a hand on my shoulder, shaking his head, telling me to chill.

When she is done, my mom is standing over the sink, vomiting. My dad is trying to keep his cool and comforting our mom. Jessie is just staring at her while I feel like I want to find them again and beat their bodies to a pulp.

We are all lost in our thoughts when we hear crying. I look over and see Jocelyn holding her face in her hands.

“Jocelyn, what’s wrong?”

“I just feel so dirty. I keep scrubbing till I bleed, but it’s not good enough. Jessie has to keep stopping me. I just want the feeling gone.”

I feel Jessie run by me and grab her in his arms.

“Baby, I told you, we covered every inch from head to toe. You are okay now. I still love you, baby. I told you I would get him.”

“You killed Ricardo?” Jocelyn asks.

“I did! You are my girl! My goddess! And I don’t care what happened. You are still perfect to me!”

Jessie carries her out of the kitchen, and I think he is just right for her.

CADEN

Once my daughter finishes her story, I just stand there in shock. I hear Eva throwing up in the sink and start rubbing her back to comfort her.

I knew Ricardo had been shot by the time I got there, but had no clue Jessie had shot him. I know that I can’t imagine a better man for her.

She has two years of school left. Then she will be eighteen and working with us, and if she wants to marry Jessie, I will give my blessing. He has earned it multiple times over.

I see her jump into Jessie’s arms as he talks to her and heads out of the kitchen. I look over at Eva, and she seems to be calming down.

“Caden, I don’t care what you say. That boy has earned our respect and the right to be with Jocelyn when she turns eighteen.”

“I agree. He has earned everyone’s respect. Even Fernando and Vinny agree. We can allow more freedom now that Ricardo isn’t a threat anymore.

“We talked to Kerri’s and Mary’s parents and they are letting them stay for as long as Jocelyn needs them. She should be able to go back to school and have a normal life again.

“Frankly, if her two friends want to live here also, I am fine with it. They will be creating their own family within the family.

“Then it’s settled,” Eva says. “As long as those two want to be together, so be it.”