EVELYN.
He steps back, his heart thundering, and I know heâs going to do something. Will he stab me again?
Snap my neck? Or will he be more inventive this time, make it more painful, slower, really go for the heart by ripping it from my chest?
A Soul can only break so many times before it is irreparable. Peering up at him, it makes me wonder what his next move will be is someone hiding out here? His loyal friend wasnât there when we left the gathering.
I can see the raw guilt and regret in his eyes, but are those feelings genuine? Or just a mask to hide his true intentions.
Iâm telling myself they are, because it is all I have.
Ever since he returned from talking to the she vampire, I knew he had a plan.. he is going to side with them as he does every time. Heâll turn his back on me, throw me away like every other time.
He will become their king and he will have no remorse for me..
His hands cup my face and my heart squeezes, pounding violently in my ears.
Why does it hurt more than ever? Just once I want to know what itâs like to be wanted, to be loved, and not seen as the monster, the burden and the one responsible for the destruction of a never-ending cycle of heartbreak.
However, the more I think of his intentions, the more his betrayal hurts, and writhes through me like an infection, as I crave what Iâve never wanted before.
The feelings I feel for him are foreign, and for once, I wish for my normal sadistic nature, the uncaring, dark version.
Is it because this time he treated me with some care?
That he showed me some level of love?
Iâm not sure, but my heart is breaking knowing that even Zedkiel doesnât want me. That heâll never want me. He just wants her back.
For the first time, Zerachielâs counterpart is showing me some love, something that I couldnât ever imagine.
Unlike them, I hold memories of our past lives, even if they are blessed with no memory of me or the pain. Iâm the one who has to relive it every time.
He still looks the same, he always does, maybe sometimes he has dreads, or locs, the last time he had even dyed his hair.. but itâs always him.
Always the same manâ¦. just a little more broken each time we meet, but for the first time, those golden-green eyes are showing me a version of him that I have always yearned for.
But I am struggling to understand why he is giving up on me? Iâve tried to behave. Heâs shown tenderness, instead of blatant hate, and showed love instead of vengeance.
I canât bring myself to hate him for what heâs about to do and I find myself speaking words I havenât spoken or meant in such a long time.
âI love you.â I whisper, unable to stop myself showing the vulnerability I am feeling as the darkness inside of me begins to rise
Iâm fighting it, because I donât want to disappoint him, but for what?
He will betray meâ¦
He always does..
Yet, I want to hear those words tooâ¦
Need to hear them at least once.
âI love you too.â He says softly, making my eyes widen in shock.
I scan his eyes, trying to understand him.
His eyes are full of such intense emotions and, for the first time, I feel weak.
No, itâs not the type of love I want, but it is real. Itâs there in some form. I blink up at him, my mind replaying his words on repeat.
He said he loves me.
âListen to me, I want you to listen to me until the end, ok? He says quietly. His deep voice is like a pleasant hum in my ear, his touch sending soft tingles of pleasure through me.
Iâm going to miss him.
Miss his touch.
A crack of thunder fills the air outside as the rain begins to pour down, hitting the cracked stone, and spraying us with splatters of cold water as we simply stand here, staring at one another.
âOk.â I murmur.
âI promise that I will always protect you, no matter what happens. Itâs not goodbye until all hope is lost. Iâm going to break this curse, for you, and for Evangeline.â
My heart thumps as he says that, and I feel an icy wave of dread wash over me and my heart twists painfully in my chest, yet I canât bring myself to be mad at his words.
âYou will always choose her and thatâs ok.. Iâm used to itâ I whisper, looking away from him when he grips my chin, tilting my face up and forcing me to look at him.
He shakes his head, his thumb brushing across my lips gently, and his eyes soften..
No, if I have the choice, I will always choose the both of you before myselfâ He murmurs.
My eyes prickle oddly, but I refuse to give in to that emotion His words, as much as I long to believe him, history always repeats, and I am never chosen, never loved or missed, but hearing those words, itâs almost like he truly means them.
I am delusional.
No, you wonât Zedkiel. You will always choose Evangeline.
I simply nod, knowing he is struggling. If I can make it better for him, then why not?
We donât both need to suffer.
âShall we keep going?â I ask, looking into the darkness ahead as I pull out of his hold.
He doesnât move and I look at him sharply.
âI need to go to the realm of the gods to get the answers and find a solution to breaking this curse upon us. He says suddenly, Evangeline! If he goes, shell be there!
My heart thumps as I feel the darkness inside of me flare up inside of me, threatening to take over and I canât help the coldness of my tone when I answer.
âAnd why are you telling me?âI ask icily My eyes flicker black as he reaches for me, but I step away.
âBecause I need your help.â He says, making me pause.
He wants my help?
âWith what?â
I donât want her back! Surely, he doesnât expect me to help him get her back!
He doesnât know sheâs there, but if he goes, then hell know, and theyâll be together again!
And me?
lâll be alone once again..
âWhat are you doing?â Ziahraâs voice comes, and I turn sharply seeing her, Kash and another silent Vampire step out from inside of the temple.
This place holds power, I can feel it. The evil that resides here is vast, but there is also more. An ancient magic that makes me uneasy.
Itâs potent, making unease settle in my bones and the hollow of my stomach open to an even vaster void.
âIm doing the right thing.â Zedkiel says, his eyes hardening
âI canât betray her.â He snarls, looking at them.I canât.â