Cade had insight on my relationship that I didn't. âHe once told me that he assumed you didnât expect him to be monogamous before marriage. He made it seem like he only hiding it out of courtesy. I still think itâs bullshit Sadia. He would have told you if you asked but he knew you wouldnât ask. He could have told you himself that he was still seeing other women.â
âMaybeâ¦â It made me think that communication could have saved my engagement. If I knew from the beginning that heâd see other women and would stop once we were married, I probably would have been fine with that. Only because itâs not like we were together before. Itâs better I wasnât with Lexus otherwise I wouldnât have just had sex with someone who cares about me. âAnyways I had sex with you becauseâ¦â
âItâs okay, you donât need to have a reason or need to tell me it if you do.â But I did have a reason that I didnât mind sharing, I liked Cade, but it felt too soon to be with him.
I turned over with my back to him. âYou knew right?â
He hesitated. âOnly towards the end, I tried to get them to stop. They planned to but then they wouldnât because theyâre... ugh sorry I know they donât deserve to have secrets because of what they did but-â
âItâs fine I donât want to know.â Cade knew Lexus was cheating and thatâs probably why he tried so hard for me to see that I didnât love Lexus and that he didnât love me.
Pillow talk wasnât something Lexus would do with me but it was nice that Cade would. I needed someone to talk to. âI know you quit, I heard you yelling it at Lexus, where are you moving to?â
Cade turned onto his stomach. âIâve been looking nearby. I have a lot I need to figure out. The king and queen say I can stay without working until I find a place.
âI hope you find a nice place and better job.â
âDo you want me to go now?â He referred to leaving my room.
I didnât want him to leave. âNo, you donât have to.â I turned over to face him and he was smiling. Sex with Cade was better than sex with Lexus. Lexus might have been more experienced and better in that way but there was more emotion with me and Cade, so it meant more.
For the next couple weeks when I wasnât hanging out with Lydia, Stella, or Cindy I hung out with Calvin and Tam. When I wasnât hanging out with either of those groups I was with Cade. He went on patrols with me, we went on flights together, but we didnât have any more sex. The sexual tension was always there but we were taking things slow.
Cindy laughed. âWhen do you think, Cade is going to ask you to be his girlfriend?â
I shrugged. âI donât think either of us is worried about that right now. We both got cheated on after being in serious relationships. We donât need the commitment yet.â
âI think thatâs a good idea.â Lydia said. âI miss Hannah, sheâs been so busy the past couple days and we were already seeing each other less because of her new preparation to possibly become queen.â I thought about how busy Lexus was but now I wasnât sure if he was busy with preparation to become king or with Aqua...
Later when I was hanging out with Cade I asked, âAre you okay?â We were in my room after he had just come over.
Cade shook his head. âNo one knows where Aqua is. The last time anyone saw her was two days ago.
If you donât want me to talk about her, I understand.â We hadnât talked about Aqua, Vella, or Lexus for the last couple weeks.
âNo, sheâs your sister, itâs okay. Do you think sheâs with Lexus?â
Cade shrugged. âI donât know, we donât know where he is either. Heâs not at any of the hotels in the kingdom.â It sounds to me like they ran away together. âI tried to be there for her even though she knew about Vella and Lexus. She was a mess the last week she was in the castle. The king and queen worked her hard and she just didnât seem mentally stable.â Aqua always seemed like a really sensitive girl but it was hard to have any empathy for her. âThe guards are out looking for her, but our Father and Gray are really worried.â
I couldnât help but be a little worried for her too.
I didnât feel too good a week later. âAre you sick or something?â Calvin asked.
I shrugged. âI donât know, I donât get sick too often. Letâs just go for our run.â
âI donât know Sadia, youâve been like that for the last couple days.â Tam shrugged.
Calvin frowned. âDoes it have something to do with Cade? Orâ¦â
I shook my head. âNo, I feel nauseous.â
Tam grabbed my wrist. âWeâll be back for the run, Calvin, hold on.â She pulled me into the pack house.
Next thing I knew she had me peeing on a stick. âI donât think this is what it is Tam, Iâm really careful.â
âWhen was the last time you had your period?â
I didnât respond because it had been a while. When I finished, I pulled my pants up and Tam turned around. âNow we wait, itâs important to know nowâ¦â Tam knew that well, the night of the festival she had only got so drunk because she had miscarried. She didnât want to feel the pain anymore.
When the results came in, I had her look first and by her expression I knew it was positive. She insisted I take at least two more and they were positive. Unfortunately, my first thought was that I wanted to tell Aqua. Iâm glad Tam was here with me. I was pregnant but the problem was⦠I didnât know for how long, so I didnât know by who...