Chapter 41: CHAPTER 28.5: Seeking Advice

Cade tapped on the window. “Is that Sadia?”

I looked down out the window where he was pointing. “Fuck, she was probably worried I was lying. I guess she does expect me to be monogamous.”

“Of course she does, she's convinced herself she loves you.”

I raised my eyebrows. “What?” I hesitated. “No, she doesn’t.”

Cade laughed. “Are you kidding me? She obviously loves you or thinks she does. She’s liked you since you guys became friends, that much is sure. I could tell even then.” Not once did Sadia give me the impression that she had strong feelings for me.

“Before we got engaged? I know she has feelings for me now but there’s no way she did before.

There’s no way she loves me either.” Love or feelings weren’t what our engagement was about. At least I didn’t think it was.

“She’s taking this engagement seriously Lexus and she thinks you are too.” Cade stood up. “I have a few things I need to get done. She probably doesn’t want me around anyways.” He left but I wasn’t sure why Sadia wouldn’t want him around.

I waited until Sadia found me. “Lexus, I just saw Cade on my way here. I came at the perfect time since he has work, or did you want to be alone?” She sat down in front of me. “We’re you going to meet up with Aqua?”

I looked her in the eyes. “Sadia do you love me?” I asked bluntly.

Sadia blushed. “What do you mean?”

“Do you?” I repeated.

Sadia looked away. “Yeah, I do Lexus. We are getting married, and we’ve been doing stuff.” I’ve had sex with Sadia maybe three times and we’ve done other stuff, but we were never as intimate as me and Aqua were. we’ve just had sex more than me and Aqua. I only had sex with Aqua once, but it was the best sex I’ve ever had. “Do you?”

I thought she might reverse the question. “I don’t know what love feels like Sadia.”

Sadia frowned. “It’s the best feeling in the world but also the worst. It brings out happiness, but also fear and jealousy. It makes me feel like it’ll be easy spending my entire life with you and I’d do anything to have that. Love is intense and unsure.” I thought Sadia was only interested in what I could do for her.

“It’s been hard barley seeing you lately.”

I looked out the window. “You fell in love with me fast. I assumed it would take longer, maybe after we were married.”

Sadia scoffed. “I liked you before we were engaged but you never really noticed.” Cade was right about both the things he said. I was clueless as to Sadia’s feelings for me. If she found out I cheated on her with Vella and Aqua she’d be heartbroken. I didn’t think that was the risk I was taking. “That’s fine since we’re together now.” She smiled.

“How come you didn’t wait until later to come over?”

Sadia sighed. “I’ve been a little jealous of Aqua. I know it’s stupid but since she’s your full-time aid now you’ve been spending so much time with her. I was prepared for you to spend a lot of time with Cade but not a girl you didn’t grow up with. Aqua’s my friend too so I know it’s even more stupid.” She was beating herself up over seeing the truth.

“Go wait for me in the room, I still have a few things to handle. It won’t be long I promised.” I got up.

Sadia nodded. “I’ll see you soon.”

I walked around until I found Konn. “Hey Konn, could I talk to you?”

Konn turned around. “Not if it’s about Aqua. I want to be as uninvolved as possible.”

I scoffed. “So, you’re telling me she hasn’t talked to you about me?”

Konn walked past me. “I’m not saying that at all.”

I followed him. “Then what’s the difference?”

He marked on his clipboard. “She didn’t give much detail and didn’t ask for advice. The main difference is I’m not your father. You should talk to the king about it.” I hated when he’d refer to my father as the king when he grew up with him. They should be more familiar than that they’re best friends. I’d hate if Cade called me that to my kids.

“You think I should tell my father the current king that I’m cheating on my fiancée the future Queen with my adviser? You think that sounds right?”

“You’d be surprised what sounds right Lexus. You’re only coming to me because I know. If I didn’t, I wouldn’t be your first choice.”

“Out of everyone you are my first choice, you know me better than my own father.”

He nodded. “I’m supposed to, it’s my job to teach you, know where you are and who you are as the future king,” he explained but it sounded like bullshit to me.

“That doesn’t change the fact that I’m closer to you than my father. That just explains why. Fine, you don’t have to give me any advice. I’ll just break off my engagement,” I threatened.

He put his hand on my shoulder as I turned around. “Fine.” He moved his hand. “Let’s get out of the hall.”

I walked beside him to the room that hid the portal splicer. “This won’t be long,” I stated.

Konn put his clipboard down on the dresser that kept the portal splicer. “You’re not thinking about breaking off your engagement, are you?” He looked disapproving.

I sat down against the wall. “I was, I even went to talk to my parents about it. I gave fake hypotheticals to them. They wouldn’t allow me to marry someone who worked for us at all. Plus, Aqua is a hybrid and they’d rather I’d marry someone fully a dragon shifter.”

“Then there’s nothing you can do and there’s no advice I could give you. You marry Sadia and carry on a professional relationship with my daughter.”

I wanted there to be another option. “Sadia loves me apparently so now I just feel guilt.”

“Apparently? Isn’t that why you’re marrying her?”

I didn’t blame everyone for assuming since that’s usually what people marry for. “Love? No but that was the easiest thing to tell my parents. What if I pass the crown down to Hannah? She’d be great.”

Konn nearly laughed. “You don’t need me to tell you that’s a bad idea. You can’t marry for love so marry for the kingdom or whatever reason you were going to marry for. Sadia will be a great Queen.”

As I’ve been told. “I didn’t bring Aqua here for this, I want things to be simple for her.” I was complicating things.

I needed something more satisfying out of this conversation. “How am I going to marry Sadia and rule with her while having Aqua right there as my adviser? What would you do if you were in my exact position?”

Konn closed his eyes and sighed. “If I were in your position with Lynn as Sadia and Mae as my adviser…” he opened his eyes. “You don’t want to know what I would do but you should be better than me.”

It made me feel better than he wouldn’t be able to commit either. “Would you feel guilty?”

“Of course. I feel guilty in my situation now. Lynn is having a hard time after finding out, Cade is in denial about how upset he is with me and I would still be having an affair if Mae didn’t end things. To me having an affair is better than abandoning my family but it’s still not good. Lexus, I’m not going to tell you anything you want to here because I don’t want to lighten the guilt you’ll feel. It’s a terrible thing and I’m not going to act like it’s not just because I’d still do it. It’s going to be hard to resist the temptation, but you should. Let my daughter be happy, she’ll move on.”

“But I won’t.”

Konn shrugged. “If you see Aqua how I see Mae you won’t move on. I regret holding Mae back from seeing if she could. That’s all the advice I can give you.”

I wish I could let Aqua move on.