Chapter 20: The Devil’s Reward: Chapter 19

The house is far too quiet, and while I appreciate it after a long day at work, I also hate it. I miss having Macy at home. Sadness hits me as I come back downstairs after having changed into something more comfortable. Right about now Macy would be whining about her homework and I’d be helping her focus and get it done.

It’s times like these that I miss having friends and family around. Loneliness hits me hard and I have to bite my lip to keep from tearing up. It’s my own fault, I know that, but the last thing I want is to answer questions that come with my past.

So instead, I suck it up, pour a glass of wine, and make myself a TV dinner. I could have picked up dinner on my way home, but one more stop wasn’t appealing. Not to mention when Macy does get home tomorrow, she’ll sniff that out like a bloodhound and there will be hell to pay.

Once the microwave beeps, I settle in on the couch and turn on the TV. I need some noise to fill the space. Otherwise memories are going to start crowding in, and on a day like today, I don’t need that added stress. I find a show that doesn’t look boring, and eat the bland dinner I’ve heated up.

The ice cream was much better, but I can’t survive on ice cream alone, so I’ll be good and eat my meal. Even if I do wish it was pizza.

My phone buzzes as I finish eating, and I roll my eyes when I see it’s my sister sending me a ridiculous meme. It’s her favorite thing to do when she’s bored. I shoot her back a quick GIF of a woman running the other way. Which of course, starts a war of GIFs with my sister and it’s a good bit of back and forth before I finally set the phone down and ignore it.

When it buzzes again, I almost don’t pick it up, but finally give in and grab it to see what other ridiculous thing she’s sent me now. I freeze when I see it’s not my sister texting me.

It’s Shadow. As in Shadow, the man who just rescued me from being mugged. The man who is far too handsome for his own good, the man who haunts my dreams.

I open the text, and my breath seizes in my lungs when I read the message.

I immediately call my sister. There is no way I can just answer this. Not when I’m freaking out. My stomach is jumping and my heart is pounding.

“Don’t come for me,” Peyton laughs. “It was just a joke.”

“I’m not calling about that,” I gasp out. “I just got asked out on a date! With a hot biker. Who I met through work. I’m freaking the hell out.” The words come out in a rush, and by the time I finish, I’m mildly gasping. Peyton is silent on the other end. “Hello? Did you hear what I just said?” I snap at her.

“Hold your horses,” she snaps back and I hear her moving. “I’ll call you right back.” Then she’s gone.

Seriously? I’m in the middle of a crisis and she hangs up on me? What kind of sister does that? I jump to my feet and start pacing, my mind racing all over the place. Why did he suddenly ask me out? Is it out of pity? Or is he attracted to me?

My phone rings and I see it’s a video call so I quickly swipe it open, but stop when I see not only my sister, but my parents also. Shit. And by the grins on their faces, they’re going to enjoy every second of this.

“Tell us everything,” my mother orders, her eyes bright with excitement. “Do you mean an actual biker like on Sons, or are we talking just some guys that get together every once in a while?”

“No, he’s a real biker, but they’re not into any illegal stuff from what I know,” I reply.

“And you know this how?” Peyton asks drily.

I flush at her question. Damn it. I really need to learn how to stop that. “I, ah, looked them up,” I admit.

“And when did you look them up?” Peyton asks, her grin widening even further.

I sigh. “After I saw him the other day at the convenience store.” It was a late night thing, and I mean, when he told me that Crypt was going to be prospecting for the club, I wanted to make sure it wasn’t anything nefarious. I have heard rumors about them since I moved to town, but wanted to confirm they are true. I mean, what kind of social worker would I be?

“And how many times have you run into him?” my father asks, looking thoughtful.

“Well, the first time was at the repair shop when Macy conned him out of money for chips,” I begin.

My father bursts out laughing. “I forgot about that. Alright, well, if he was easily charmed, he can’t be all bad. You have my blessing to go out with him.”

I glare at the phone. “I’m almost thirty, Dad. I don’t need your permission,” I reply snippily.

He shrugs. “Don’t care how old you are. You’ll always be my little girl. But you also know that I want you to have some fun. And if this guy is someone you like, then grab him by the dick and ride him like a stallion.”

My mouth drops open at his words and my face flames in embarrassment, even as my mother and sister laugh. “Dad!” I screech, horrified.

“What?” he asks innocently. “Listen, you grab a man who’s interested in you by the dick, he’s not going to yell at you to stop. Well, unless you’re squeezing too hard, then he’ll probably ask you to lighten up,” he adds thoughtfully.

Oh my God, my father is insane. “I’m not doing any kind of grabbing,” I tell him vehemently. “He asked me out on a date.”

“Speaking of which,” my mother interrupts before my father can answer me, “what brought this on? And how did he get your number?”

“Through work,” I mutter.

“When did you see him earlier?” Peyton demands.

I wince. “Ah, well, a homeless man tried to take a bit of money from me and—”

“You were mugged?” my mother screeches, interrupting me. “And you didn’t think to call us?”

“I wasn’t mugged,” I protest, though all of them are scowling at me. “Shadow and another club member showed up and made him stop before he was able to do anything. Then Shadow walked me to the ice cream shop down the street to make sure I was alright. He had to leave, though, so he reminded me I have his number and told me to call him if I had any more trouble.” My face warms at the memory.

“Smooth,” my father praises. “And a smart man. Great way to give a woman his number and get hers back.”

“He could be a crazy stalker,” Mom points out, though she doesn’t look all that concerned. Probably because he saved me from a mugging.

“He’s not a stalker.”

“You said you ran into him more than once,” Peyton reminds me.

I groan and collapse back on the couch. I quickly explain all the events of how we met and each time after, and when I’m finished, I add, “He’s not a stalker. Most of those times he was there before I was.”

“Alright, he’s not a stalker,” Peyton agrees. “Which is why you’re going out with him.”

“I am?” I ask drolly. “Is that an order?”

“It can be,” Peyton grins. “Come on, we both know you like him or you wouldn’t be freaking out this much. Or leaving him hanging,” she adds pointedly.

I wince. I don’t want to think about Shadow waiting on the other side of that text, wondering why I’m not answering. Or if I am running away from him. God, why does this have to be so complicated?

“It’s not complicated,” my mother says briskly, and my face flames. Crap, I said that out loud. “It comes down to two things. Do you like him?”

“Well, I don’t really know him,” I hedge.

She gives me a stern look. “That’s not what I asked. Do you like him? Are you attracted to him?”

“Hard not to be attracted to a man who looks like that,” I retort. She just glares at me. I sigh. “Yes, I’m attracted to him.”

“Good. And do you think that Macy would have a problem with you going out with him?”

I think back to the conversation in the grocery store. “No,” I pout.

“Then you have your answer. Don’t let the past keep you back, baby,” she says gently. “Shadow is, by all accounts, a good man. From what you can see, he’s not stalking you, doesn’t give off crazy murder vibes, and is good with Macy. If you don’t give him a chance, you might lose out on something special.”

My shoulders slump. “It’s not that, Mom,” I say softly. “I don’t know if I’m ready to date anyone. It’s only been a few years since…”

My father moves farther into the frame and gives me a serious look. Uh oh. My father rarely gives me that look. “Quinn, you need to let the past go. What Bobby did, it hurt you, it broke you, and it pisses me off. You loved him, and he gave you the best gift he could have, but he is gone. He is not coming back. If you let him hold you back, that is letting him win. And I swore that I would never let that happen. You’re living in another state because of the bullshit that happened here, and we understood. Never doubted for a minute that it was what you needed. But you’ve been there for years now, and what do you have to show for it?

“You have a great career, sure, and an amazing daughter who has thrived, but what else? You’re not just a mother and a social worker. You’re a woman, and you need a life too. You need friends, people to confide in that aren’t family, and you need to be yourself. You were so happy here, and even after everything with Bobby, you came out the other side. You’re stronger for it. You’ve turned down dates before, but none of them, save for the very first one after Bobby died, have made you call your sister freaking the hell out. I think you’re more ready for this than you think, but you’re letting fear hold you back. And we didn’t raise you to sit back and hide. We’ve let you nurse your wounds, get yourself settled, and get your feet under you and Macy, but no more. You’re going to say yes to that man. You’re going to make sure that he takes you somewhere public. And you’re going to have a good time. Maybe it won’t move past one date, but it’s the first step in reclaiming your life.”

When he steps back I can see my mother eyeing him appreciatively, while Peyton nods her head in agreement.

I want to refute everything he said, to tell him that Bobby isn’t holding me back. But I know he’s right. Deep down, I know. Tears burn at the back of my eyes. “I’m just scared of what could happen,” I whisper.

“We know that, honey,” Mom says gently. “But you need to take that first step. It’s time to be happy for yourself. Say yes, go out and have a good time, and see what happens. Maybe it will be a disaster, but you’ll have done the hard part of taking the first step, which means the next one will be easier.”

“But what about Macy? I don’t have anyone to watch her,” I point out, grasping at my last straw.

“Then you find someone, or you wait until we get there and we’ll watch her,” Peyton reasons. “So stop stalling and put the poor man out of his misery.”

I take a deep breath and pull up Shadow’s text. I stare at it for a moment, my fingers trembling and my stomach cramping as anxiety and fear beat through me. What if he’s not actually interested in me? Or what if he is, and then we go out and he realizes how boring I am? Isn’t that what Bobby told me before he left on his last tour? That he hoped I would grow a personality and stop being so awkward and shy?

“Do it, baby,” Mom encourages. “Just tell him yes.”

“Okay,” I whisper. I slowly type out a reply.

His reply is almost instant.

Gah! Why does he have to be so good at this while I’m so awkward?

“What is he saying?” Peyton demands.

“Uh, he said that we can meet for lunch or dinner, and if I want to bring Macy as a buffer, that’s fine,” I say absently, my mind already whirling with ideas.

“See, nothing to worry about,” Mom says happily.

I ignore her as I type.

I smile, unable to help myself.

“She’s smiling, so whatever he’s saying is good,” my father announces, pulling me back into the moment abruptly.

I blush. “He’s, uh, teasing saying Macy is going to con a bank out of its money someday,” I tell him. Not the whole truth, but close enough.

“He’s probably right,” Peyton snickers. “That kid has charm in spades. She’s going to give the boys a run for their money when she’s older.”

“I don’t even want to think about it,” I sigh. “Alright, I’m going to go now that you’ve talked me off the ledge.”

“That’s what we’re here for,” Mom says cheerfully. “Let us know the details, Quinnie.”

“And make sure you bring protection,” Peyton adds with a wiggle of her brows. Which I ignore.

I say goodbye and hang up before they can protest, and stare at the screen. I take a deep breath and answer him.

Wow, that’s fast. I hesitate. Is it a good idea to bring Macy? Will it confuse her or give her the wrong idea? Maybe I should wait until my parents and sister get here next week.

, my brain snaps at me.

I take a deep breath and send back my answer.

Gah, why does he have to be so perfect? Can’t he just be a dick and tell me no, he’ll come to get me, and then I can tell him the date is off?

I set the phone down, and stare blankly into the room.

Oh. My. God. I’m going on a date with Shadow. I don’t know whether to cry or jump up and down in excitement. Still, I wonder if I’m doing the right thing. Bobby’s words come creeping back.

What if I’m setting myself up to be humiliated and broken-hearted again? Will I be able to survive it? I guess only time will tell.