As we left Saionâs Cove and passed through the Pillars of Atlantia once more, we caught Vonetta up on all that had happened since weâd last seen her. The sorrow she felt for Beckett lingered long after sheâd taken her wolven form, and we crossed the meadow of flowers.
The journey to Spessaâs End was as hard and fast as Jasper had warned, much more brutal than when weâd crossed over from the Wastelands. Under the canopy of red leaves, we stopped only to take care of personal needs and allow Setti and the wolven to rest and eat.
I busied myself by seeking out each wolven I caught sight of and reading their imprints. Vonetta reminded me of her brother, woodsy. But instead of cedar, her imprint was like white oakâand vanilla. Her father reminded me of rich soil and cut grassâan earthy, minty feeling. Others were similar, reminding me of cold mountains and warm waters. I followed each of their imprints, repeating it over and over until all I needed to do was look at one of them to find their imprint. When I spoke to Vonetta through the cord the first time, I mightâve given her a small heart attack.
We crested the mountains as night fell, and the mistâ¦it was different. Only thin vapors trailed along the moss-blanketed ground instead of the thick mist that obscured the trees and the steep drops.
âI think itâs you,â Casteel had said as Setti rushed on. âYou said you thought the mist reacted to you before. You were right. It mustâve recognized your blood.â
In the darkness, Iâd looked for Kieran, hoping he was close enough to hear that I had been right about the mist when we traveled through it the first time.
Because the mist didnât slow us down, we were able to continue through the night, making it farther than weâd thought we would by the time gray light filtered through the leaves.
The muscles in my legs ached as we cleared the Skotos, following Vonetta as we traveled through the valley. I couldnât imagine how any of the wolven or Setti were still able to keep going. I couldnât even figure out how Casteelâs hold on me hadnât slackened even once during the trip. His grip and the anxiety of knowing I would see my brother soon were the only things keeping me sitting upright.
We reached Spessaâs End several hours before nightfall. Riding through the heavily wooded area skirting the east wall, we entered the town through a hidden gate, unknown to anyone who may be camped outside the northern wall.
My stomach began to twist and roil with anxiety as the sun followed us across the courtyard, where Coulton ambled out of the stables, dragging a white handkerchief over his bald head. The older wolven gave us a grimace of a smile as he caught hold of Settiâs halter. âI wish I was seeing you two under better circumstances.â
âAs do I,â Casteel agreed, and I spotted several Guardians garbed in black among others stationed on the wall. Those who were attempting to make a home at Spessaâs End were on the wall.
Shoving the handkerchief into his back pocket, Coulton offered his hand in assistance. I took it, noting the slight widening of the manâs nostrils. âNow I know why I felt that zap,â he said, squinting up at me. âMeyaah Liessa.â
âHow did you know?â I asked as he helped me down. It wasnât something we had gotten a chance to ask Vonetta.
âAll of us felt something several days ago,â he explained as Casteel dismounted. âHard to explain, but it was like this wave of awareness. None of us was sure exactly what it was, but now that I see you, I know. Makes sense,â he said as if the fact that I was a deity wasnât remotely shocking or a big deal at all.
I kind of liked that. âBy the way, you donât have to call me that.â
âI know.â Coulton grinned, and I had a feeling he would continue calling me that. âKeeping our Prince in line?â
âI try.â I smiled at him as I walked to Settiâs head on legs weak from such a long journey.
The wolven chuckled as I stroked Settiâs nostrils. âI imagine itâs a full-time job.â
âIâm offended.â Casteel dragged a hand through his windblown hair as he squinted up at the wall. âHow is everyone doing with the unexpected guests?â
âNervous, but okay and prepared,â Coulton answered, and my fingers curled into Settiâs mane. âOnce I get Setti taken care of, you all want some food sent to your rooms?â
âThat would be good,â Casteel said, lifting the saddlebag over a shoulder as the weary wolven streamed across the courtyard, many of them panting, even Delano.
Concern blossomed as I watched Vonetta lower her belly to the ground, her fawn-colored fur identical to her brotherâs. Jasper sat beside her as he scanned the courtyard, his large body hunched slightly. I searched for Kieran and found him nudging a smaller wolven with deep brown fur. Opening my senses, I focused on the wolven. The grittiness of exhaustion came back to me. I pushed past that as my chest hummed, finding the individual pathway. Through the cord, I felt theâ¦warm, rolling waters. Lyra was the brown wolven. I shifted my attention to Kieran, searching until the phantom scent of cedar reached me. Having no idea if this would work, I followed the individual cord, pushing my thoughts through it. Are you all okay?
Kieranâs head jerked in my direction as Coulton began leading a tired Setti to the stables, where I hoped they showered him with carrots and fresh, green hay. A heartbeat passed, and then I felt the whisper of Kieranâs voice. We are tired but okay.
I shivered at the unnerving sensation of feeling his words. You all will rest, I sent back to him. It wasnât a question, more a demand. I had a feeling they would all remain on guard with the Ascended near.
We will. His presence retreated briefly, and then I felt the brush of his thoughts against mine. Meyaah Liessa.
My eyes narrowed.
âAre you communicating with one of the wolven?â Casteel asked as he slid an arm around my shoulders, his gaze following mine to where Kieran playfully nipped at Lyra.
âI was.â I let him steer me toward the east corner of the Stygian Fortress. âI wanted to make sure they rested and didnât patrol.â
He squeezed my shoulder as we walked under the covered breezeway, past several closed-off rooms. âIâm extremely envious of that ability.â
âYouâre not worried that we could be talking about you without you knowing?â I teased as we neared the terrace at the end. It was as I remembered, the chaise lounge and low-to-the-floor chairs inviting.
âWhy would I be?â Casteel opened the door, and the scent of lemon and vanilla greeted us. âIâm sure you only have amazing things to say.â
I laughed at that. âYour confidence is an extremely envious ability.â
He snorted as he closed the door behind us. âYou should rest until food arrives.â
âI canât rest.â I walked through the familiar sitting area, easily able to see Alastir seated there on the couch. I stopped at the entrance to the bedchamber, and for a moment, I was swept back to the night that felt like forever ago, when Casteel and I had finally stopped pretending. âI donât think I can eat.â
âYou should try.â Casteel was close behind me.
âYou should try,â I murmured.
âI would, but I canât unless you do,â he said. âBut since neither of us is going to rest right now, we might as well talk about tonight.â
I faced him. He was in the process of tugging off his boots. âOkay. What do you want to talk about?â
He arched a brow as he placed his boots near one of the chairs. âWe need to be careful of what is said to your brother. Obviously, thereâs a damn good chance they know what your blood is, but they may not know how your gifts have changed. He shouldnât be told. The less they know about us, the better. It gives us the upper hand.â
I sat on the edge of the chair, slowly toeing off my boots. âThat makes sense.â And because it did, it made me feel a little ill. âAnd what if Ianâ¦if he is as I remember?â
âEven then, we donât want to give them any information they do not already know.â He quieted for a moment as he unstrapped the sword on his left side and then the one on his right, lying them upon an old wooden chest. âI hope that he is as you remember, but even if he is, you need to keep in mind that he is here on behalf of the Blood Crown.â
âItâs not like Iâm going to forget that.â I tugged off my socks, leaving them in a ball beside my shoes while Casteel had draped his over his boots.
He eyed me for a few seconds. âMy mother and father could be right. Tonight may be a trap.â
I rose, beginning to pace in front of the terrace doors. âI know that, but that doesnât change that my brother is here.â
âIt should, Poppy,â he countered. âThe Ascended want you, and they know exactly how to draw you out.â
âDo I really need to repeat myself?â I snapped as I walked past him into the sitting room. He followed. âI know that this could be a trap, but as I said, my brother is here.â I pivoted, prowling back toward the bedchamber. âHe has a message from the Blood Crown. We are going to see him. And if youâre trying to stop me now, after we came all this way, youâre going to be very disappointed.â
âIâm not trying to stop you.â
âThen what are you getting at?â I demanded.
âAre you going to look at me and listen?â
My head shot in his direction. âIâm looking at you right now. What?â
His eyes burned a fiery gold. âBut are you listening?â
âUnfortunately,â I retorted.
âThat was rude, but Iâm going to ignore that.â A muscle ticked along his jaw as he tilted his head. âYou know that what weâre doing is a risk.â
âOf course, I know that. Iâm not foolish.â
His brows rose âYouâre not?â
My eyes narrowed. âI understand the risks, Casteel. Just like you understood them when you decided to masquerade as a mortal guard.â
âThatâs different.â
âReally? Seriously? At any moment, you couldâve been discovered and captured. Then what?â I shot back. âBut you did it nonetheless because you were doing it for your brother.â
âOkay. Youâre right.â He stepped into me, eyes churning with flecks of heated amber. âI was willing to take those risks with my lifeââ
âI swear to the gods if you say youâre not willing to allow me to take those same risks, Iâm going to hurt you,â I warned.
One side of his lips kicked up. âIf thatâs a threat, itâs my favorite kind.â
âIt will not be in a way you like.â I glanced pointedly below his waist. âTrust me.â I turned from him and took a step. Without warning, he was suddenly in front of me. I jerked back. âDamn it. I hate when you do that!â
âYou know I will never stop you from defending yourselfâfrom picking up a sword or bow and fighting,â he said, coming forward. I held my ground. âBut I also wonât let you walk right into a trap, arms open.â
âAnd if it is a trap, do you think I will just give up and say âYou got me?ââ I challenged. âYou said it yourself. I can defend myself. I will not let anyone take you or me, and based on what I can do, Iâm confident I can ensure that.â
âYou were really hesitant about using your power not that long ago,â he reminded me. âYou changed your mind?â
âYes!â And I had, without a doubt. âI would use everything in me to make sure that I and those I love arenât taken again by the Ascended.â
âThat is a relief to hear,â he said.
âWell, Iâm glad youâre relieved. If youâre not trying to stop me, then why are we even having this discussion?â
âAll I am trying to suggest is that you hold back until we make sure itâs safe for youââ
âNo.â I waved a hand, cutting him off. âNot going to happen. Iâm not staying back. Would you if this were your brother?â I demanded. âWould those risks outweigh your need to go to him, and would you stand back?â
He dropped his head back, inhaling sharply. A long moment passed. âNo, those risks would not outweigh my need.â
âThen why are you trying to stop me?â I honestly didnât know why he was being like this. âYou of all people should understand.â
âI do.â He reached out, curving his hands around my shoulders. A static charge of energy passed from his skin to mine. âI told you that I believed Ian had Ascended, but deep down, you hadnât accepted that, and I understood why. You needed to believe that there was still a chance that he was mortal or like you.â
The air I breathed stung. I couldnât deny anything heâd said. âWhat does that have to do with this?â
âBecause when you learned he was an Ascended, you got so upset, you lost control of your emotions. You began to glow and call the wolven to you,â he said, lowering his chin so we were at eye-level. âThey felt your anger, and I donât know if you noticed or not, but Iâm pretty sure if you had commanded them to attack, they wouldâve done so without hesitation.â
I had noticed that.
âAnd while I have to admit that is a rather impressive ability, I also fear what will happen when you see Ian, and you no longer recognize him,â he said, and my heart seized. âAnd I donât fear your anger or what you do with that wealth of power in you. I donât fear that at all. I fear what it will do to youâthe knowledge that your brother is truly gone.â
I sucked in a shuddering breath as I briefly squeezed my eyes shut. His concern warmed me. It came from such a beautiful place.
âAre you truly ready for that?â he asked, moving his hands to my cheeks. âAre you really ready to do what you believe is necessary if you find that he has become something unrecognizable?â
The air I breathed continued to hurt as I placed my hands on his chest, feeling his heart beat strongly under my palm. I looked up at him, seeing the flecks of amber. âYou know I hope to find a part of him still inside there, but I know I have to be ready for what I find. I have to be ready if nothing of Ian remains.â
Casteel smoothed his thumbs over my skin. âAnd if youâre not ready when it comes to releasing him from this curse?â
âI am willing to shoulder whatever pain comes from giving my brother peace,â I told him.
A fine tremor coursed through him. âI have to see my brother.â
âI know, and I swear, Iâm not going to hold you back. That isnât what this is about. Yes, I am worried about this being a trap. Like I said, they know exactly how to draw you out. But not for one second do I want to prevent you from going to see Ian. I justâI want to stop you from feeling that kind of pain if I can. I was hopingâ¦â He shook his head. âI donât know. That you wouldnât have to deal with that on top of everything else,â he said. âBut I shouldâve known better. Life doesnât wait to hand you a new puzzle until youâve figured out the last one.â
âIt would be nice if it did, though.â I exhaled roughly. âI can handle this, no matter what happens.â
Casteel touched his forehead to mine. âBut you have no idea what the weight of that kind of pain is like. I do,â he whispered. âI know what it feels like to kill someone I once loved and respected. That pain is always there.â
Knowing he was talking about Shea, I resisted the urge to take his pain. âIt lessened, though, didnât it?â
âIt did. A little with each passing year, and even more so when I found you,â he confided. âAnd thatâs no lie.â
I curled my fingers into his shirt. âAnd it will lessen for me because I have you.â
He swallowed and then pulled me to his chest, wrapping his arms around me. âI know itâs selfish of me to not want you to bear that pain.â
âYou not wanting that is one of the reasons I love you.â I lifted my mouth to his because saying it wasnât enough.
And that kiss of gratitude and affection quickly turned into something needier, more demanding. The one kiss quickly spun out of control, or maybe that was the thing about kisses. They werenât meant to be controlled.
I didnât know how he got me undressed so quickly, but I was completely nude by the time I managed to pull his shirt off over his head. He caged me in, my back flush with the wall and my front against his. My senses nearly shorted out at the feel of his warm, hard skin.
Scraping a fang over the side of my throat, his hands skimmed down, one stopping on my breast and the other gliding between them, lingering where the bolt had entered me. There was no sign of that now, but I knew he would never forget the exact spot of the wound. His hand continued on over the softness of my stomach and the scars, slipping between the vee of my thighs. His fingers spread out, the pads of his fingertips brushing against the very center of me, sending a jolt through my body.
âYou know what Iâve been craving?â He captured my lips in a quick, scorching kiss as his other hand teased the aching peak of my breast. âPoppy?â
I swallowed as his hair tickled my cheek. âWhat?â
âAre you even listening to me?â He nipped at my throat. I shuddered as he said, âOr are you not capable of listening?â
âTotally.â My entire being focused on how his fingers curled around my nipple, how his other hand stroked lazily between my thighs. âIâm totally capable ofââ I gasped, clutching his shoulders as he slipped one finger inside me. âOfâ¦of listening.â
He chuckled against my neck as he slowly moved his finger in and out, over and over until I was breathless. âSo?â Do you know what Iâm craving?â
Truthfully, how quickly he distracted me utterly astonished me. Pleasure curled, stirring something deep. âWhat?â
âHoneydew,â he whispered against my lips, picking up the pace as he tipped his head down. âI could live on the taste of you. I swear to you.â
My pulse rocketed as his decadent oath wove its way through me. He lifted his head, working another finger inside as his eyes became bright and full of more wicked promises. He watched, soaking in every soft gasp and flutter of my eyelashes as his fingers pumped in and out, his gaze latched on to mine, refusing to allow me to look away, to escape the maddening rush of feelings he created.
Not that I ever wanted to.
A dimple appeared in his right cheek as he brushed his thumb over the sensitive part of me, his eyes alight as I sucked in a shrill breath. He began tracing an idle circle around the tightened bud, coming close to touching it but always straying away at the last moment.
âCas,â I panted.
âI love the way you say that.â Golden flecks sparked to life, churning. âI love the way you look right now.â
âI know.â My hips moved forward, but he pressed in.
âStay still,â he ordered gruffly. His thumb made another enticingly close circle. âIâm not finished looking at you. Do you know how beautiful you are? Have I told you that today?â he asked, and I was almost sure he had. âHow stunning? With your cheeks flushed and lips swollen? Beautiful.â
How could I not feel that way when I could feel that he believed what he said. I felt like I was burning up inside, catching fire. My hands slipped down his chest. Awed by the way his heart pounded against my palm, I strained against his hold, brushing my lips against his. He leaned into me, his arousal pressing against my hip as he kissed me.
âI have to do something about that craving,â he told me, and that was the only warning I had.
Before I could protest the absence of his hand between my legs, he was kneeling. âI could spend an eternity on my knees before you,â he vowed, his eyes amber jewels.
âThat would be painful.â
Casteel pressed his thumb down on the bundle of nerves, and I cried out, my hips arching into his hand. âNever.â
His mouth closed over me, and he did something truly devious with his tongue. I cried out, driven to the edge with his sensual assault. My back arched as far as heâd allow it.
I wanted more.
And I wanted this to be about both of us. Not just me.
Maybe it was everything that had happened and what I could soon face. Maybe it was the heat of his mouth against me. It couldâve simply been the fact that I needed himâneeded to remind both of us that no matter how tonight ended, we were alive, we were here, together. And nothing could ever change that.
All of those reasons could have fueled my actions. Given me the strength to take control of my desires, the situation, and of Casteelâand prove that I could handle him at his calmest and at his wildest, his most loving and his most indecent.
I pushed off the wall, clasping the back of his neck. I wasnât sure if I just surprised him or if I had overpowered him. It didnât matter. Curling my hand around the back of his neck, I urged him to stand, bringing his mouth to mine. I tasted him on my lips. I tasted me and us. Slipping my hands into his breeches, I undid them as I walked him backward, helping him get rid of them. When his legs hit the bed, I pushed him.
Casteel sat, his brows lifting as he stared up at me. âPoppy,â he breathed.
Placing my hands on his shoulders, I planted my knees on either side of his thighs. âI want you, Casteel.â
He shuddered. âYou have me. You will always have me.â
And I did have him as he shifted under me. I lowered myself onto him, the air seizing in my throat as we became one.
Pulse fluttering, I curled my arm around his neck, sinking my fingers into his hair as I dropped my forehead to his, clutching his arm with my other hand. I began to move, rocking against him slowly. I gasped as heat filled my chest and settled between my thighs in a tight, hot ache. My breath touched his lips. âProve it,â I ordered. âProve that youâre mine.â
There wasnât even a moment of hesitation. His mouth crashed onto mine, and the kiss was stunning in its intensity, stealing my breath. My entire body tensed as I lifted myself and brought my body back down, drinking as deeply from his lips as he did from mine. The fine, rough hairs on his chest teased the aching tips of my breasts as I rode him.
âYours.â Stark need shone through the slits of his eyes. âNow. Forever. Always.â
My fingers tightened around his hair. With each roll of my hips, he reached that spot inside me, the one that sent pleasure bounding through every limb. I moved faster, moaning as I angled my body toward his. I shuddered, letting go of his arm and dragging my hand over his chest. A wildness entered my veins as the friction of the hard length of him ignited a fire. I kissed him greedily, sucking on his lip, his tongue. His hands gripped my hips as he lifted his, meeting my thrusts.
âShould have known,â he said, his breath coming in shorter, faster pants. âYouâd love doing it like this.â
âI loveâ¦I just love doing it,â I whispered. âWith you.â
His hands slid to my rear, cupping it as he rocked me harder against him. âYeah, you do.â He squeezed, holding me tightly against him until there wasnât a breath of space between us. âPromise me.â
All the throbbing tension in me curled tightly. I tried to lift myself but he held me in place. âAnything,â I rasped, my nails digging into his skin. âAnything, Cas.â
âIf Ian is what you fear and giving him peace is something you cannot safely carry outâ¦â he said, his words causing my already stuttering heart to skip. He dragged his hand up my back, fisting his fingers in my hair. He tugged my head to his. âPromise me that if it puts you at risk, you wonât attempt it. That you will wait until itâs safe. Promise me that.â
The words spilled from me. âI promise.â
Casteel moved at once, lifting me from his lap and onto my belly. Before I had a chance to take a breath, he thrust deeply into me. My back arched as I kicked my head back, his name a hoarse shout on my lips. He rolled into me, grinding his hips against my rear.
I cried out, and a word snuck out, a demand that scalded my cheeks. âHarder.â
âHarder?â
âYes.â I curled my upper body around, reaching back and clasping his hips. âPlease.â
âFuck,â he growled, and I felt him jerk deep inside me. âI love you.â
There was no chance to tell him the same. He forced an arm under me, curling it just below my breasts. His chest came down on my back, his weight supported by the arm propped by my head. Then he gave me what I wanted, thrusting into me hard.
Casteel was relentless, his body pounding against mine. We became twin flames, burning bright and uncontrollable, lost to the fire. It was a welcomed madness, the frenzy in our blood and our bodies, and it went beyond sex and finding pleasure. It was all about us taking and giving from one another, falling and letting go together, being swept away in trembling waves of rippling pleasure.
But when the tremors subsided and Casteel eased us onto our sides, my promise to him returned like a vengeful ghost, there to warn me that I might not be able to keep it.
Casteel and I dressed as the last traces of sunlight slipped over the floor, both of us donning the extra black tunics Iâd packed. I did manage to eat some of the roasted chicken that had been delivered to the room, and we were able to freshen up. I took my time smoothing my hair into a braid.
Vonetta arrived shortly after, her striking features tense. âTheyâre here.â