âYes, I am.â I can tell by her expression that she isnât sure how much I know about her, and sheâs even more unsure what to say about it. âYouâre her . . . youâre . . . Tessa,â she says. I can see her thoughts coming together.
âIâm . . .â I choke. I donât have the slightest idea what to say. Hardin told me that she was happy now, that sheâs forgiven him and made a new life for herself. The empathy that I feel for her is deep. âIâm sorry . . .â I end up saying.
âIâm going to get some more champagne. Trish, come along.â Susan grabs Trish by the arm and gently leads her away. Trish turns her head, watching Natalie and me until she disappears through a door, gown and all.
âSorry for what?â Natalieâs eyes shine under the bright lights. I canât imagine this girl, the one in front of me, with my Hardin. Sheâs so simple and beautiful, so unlike any of the girls from his past that Iâve encountered.
Nervous laughter falls from my lips. âI donât know . . .â What exactly am I apologizing for? I ask myself. âF-for what he did . . . to you.â
âYou know?â I hear the surprise in her voice as she continues to stare at me, trying to figure me out.
âI do,â I say, suddenly embarrassed and feeling the need to explain. âAnd Hardin . . . heâs different now. He deeply regrets what he did to you,â I tell her. It wonât make up for the past, but she has to know that the Hardin I know isnât the Hardin that she once knew.
âI ran into him recently,â she reminds me. âHe was . . . I donât know . . . empty when I saw him on the street. Is he doing better now?â I watch for judgment in her cloudy blue eyes, but there isnât a trace of it to be found.
âYes, he really is,â I say, trying not to look down at her stomach. She lifts her hand, and I see a gold band on her ring finger. Iâm so happy that sheâs been able to turn her life around.
âHeâs done a lot of terrible things, and I know Iâm way out of line hereââI swallow, trying not to lose my confidenceââbut it was so important to him to know that you forgave him. It meant so much . . . thank you for finding the strength to do that.â
To tell the truth, I donât think that Hardin regretted what he did to her as much as he should have, but her forgiveness did chip away at some of the bricks heâs spent years building between himself and the rest of the world, and I know it gave him a little peace.
âYou must really love him,â she says softly after a long silence passes between us.
âI do, so very much.â My eyes meet hers. Weâre connected, this woman whom Hardin hurt in such a terrible manner and I, in some strange way, and I feel the power of that connection. I canât begin to imagine how she felt, how deep the humiliation and pain he caused her actually was. She was abandoned not only by Hardin, but by her family. At the beginning, I was just like her, a game to him, until he fell in love with me. Thatâs the difference between me and this sweet pregnant woman. He loves me, and he wasnât capable of loving her.
I canât help the disgusting thought that passes through my mind, the thought that if he had loved her, I wouldnât have him now, and Iâm selfishly grateful that he didnât care for her the way he cares for me.
âDoes he treat you well?â she surprises me by asking.
âMost of the time . . .â I canât help but smile at this terrible answer. âHeâs figuring it out.â I finish on a note of certainty.
âWell, thatâs all I can hope for.â She returns my smile.
âWhat do you mean?â
âIâve prayed and prayed that Hardin would find his salvation, and I think itâs finally happened.â Her smile grows, and she touches her belly again. âEveryone deserves a second chance, even the worst sinners of all, donât you think?â
I am in awe of her. I canât say that if Hardin had done to me what he did to her, without so much as an apology, Iâd be sending positive thoughts out for him the way that she is. Iâd probably be wishing for his imminent demise, yet here she is, this compassionate woman, only wanting the best for him.
âI do.â I agree with her despite my failure to understand how she could be so forgiving.
âI know you think Iâm nutsââNatalie lightly laughsââbut if it wasnât for Hardin, I wouldnât have met my Elijah, and I wouldnât be only days away from giving birth to our first son.â
A shiver creeps up my spine at the thought that comes to my mind. Hardin was a stepping-stone in Natalieâs lifeâactually, more like a massive bump in the road on her way to the life she deserves. I donât want Hardin to be a stepping-stone in my life, a painful memory, someone Iâd be forced to forgive and come to terms with. I want Hardin to be my Elijah, my happy ending.
Sadness overtakes my fear as she brings my hand to her stomach, swollen in a way that mine most likely will never be, and I notice the gold band on her finger, something I most likely will never wear. I jump back at the movement against my hand, and Natalie laughs.
âThe little guyâs busy in there. I wish heâd come out already.â She laughs again, and I canât help but put my hand back to feel the movement again. The baby in her belly kicks at my hand once more, and I join in her happiness. I canât help itâitâs contagious.
âWhen are you due?â I ask, still mesmerized by the flutter against my palm.