âI feel the same about Hardin controlling who Iâm friends with.â As the words leave my mouth, Zedâs eyes fill with triumph, which also bothers me. âBut, I also think he has good reasons for not wanting us to be friends. Donât you?â
Zed shakes his head amicably. âYes and no. I wonât hide my feelings for you, but you know that I donât push them onto you. I told you that Iâll take what you can give me, and if friendship is all I can get, Iâll live with it.â
âI know you donât push.â I choose to respond only to half of his statement. Zed never pushes me to do anything, and he never tries to force me into anything, but I hate the way he talks about Hardin.
âCan you say the same for him?â Zed challenges, looking at me intensely.
The urge to defend Hardin makes me say, âNo. I canât. I know how he is, but thatâs just who he is.â
âYouâre always so quick to defend him. I donât get it.â
âYou donât have to get it,â I say harshly.
âReally?â Zed says quietly and frowns.
âYes.â I straighten my back and sit up as tall as I can manage.
âIt doesnât bother you how possessive he is? He tells you who you can be friends with . . .â
âIt does bother me butââ
âYou let him do it.â
âDid you come all the way to Seattle to remind me that Hardin is controlling?â
Zed opens his mouth to speak but closes it.
âWhat?â I push him.
âHe has a claim on you, and Iâm worried about you. You seem so stressed out.â
I sigh in defeat. I am stressed, too stressed, but fighting with Zed isnât going to help anything. Itâs only intensifying my frustration. âIâm not going to make excuses for him, but you donât know anything about our relationship. You donât see how he is with me. You donât understand him the way that I do.â
I push my plate away and notice that the couple at the next table over has turned their attention on us. Lowering my voice, I say, âI donât want to fight with you, Zed. Iâm exhausted, and I was really looking forward to spending this time with you.â
He leans back in his chair. âIâm being such a jerk, arenât I.â he says with sad eyes. âIâm sorry, Tessa. I would blame the drive . . . but thatâs not an excuse. Iâm sorry.â
âItâs okay, I didnât mean to snap at you. I donât know whatâs gotten into me.â My period is due any day nowâthat must be why Iâm so on edge.
âItâs my fault, really.â He reaches across the table and squeezes my hand.
Tension still fills the air, and I canât stop thinking of Hardin, but Iâd like to have a nice time, so I ask, âHow is everything else going?â
Zed dives into stories about his family and how warm Florida was the last time he visited. The conversation between us reverts to its normal, easy, meandering flow, and the tension evaporates, allowing me to finish my meal.
After weâre done eating and are heading to the exit, Zed asks, âDo you have more plans for the night?â
âYes, Iâm going to Christianâs jazz club. It just opened.â
âChristian?â Zed questions.
âOh, my boss. Thatâs who Iâm staying with.â
His brow rises. âYouâre staying with your boss?â
âYes, but he went to college with Hardinâs father and heâs a longtime friend of Ken and Karen,â I explain. It hasnât occurred to me that Zed doesnât know any of the details about my life. Although he picked me up after Christianâs surprise engagement party for Kimberly, he doesnât know anything about them.
âOh, so thatâs how you got a paid internship, then?â
Ouch. âYes.â I admit.
âWell, itâs awesome either way.â
âThanks.â I stare out the window and pull my cell phone from my purse. Still nothing. âWhat else do you plan on doing while youâre in Seattle?â I ask in the middle of trying to explain which roads to take to get us to Christian and Kimberlyâs house. I give up after a few minutes and type the address into my phone. The screen freezes, and the power shuts off twice before the device finally cooperates.
âIâm not sure. Iâm going to see what my friends are up to. Maybe we could meet up again later tonight? Or before I leave on Saturday?â
âThat could be cool. Iâll let you know,â I say.
âWhen will Hardin be here?â The venomous undertone to his question doesnât go unnoticed.
I glance at my phone again, this time out of habit. âIâm not sure, maybe tonight.â
âAre you guys together right now? I know we said we wouldnât talk about it anymore, but Iâm confused.â
âSo am I,â I admit. âWeâve been putting some space between us lately.â
âIs that working?â
âYes.â Until the last few days when Hardin started to pull away from me.
âThatâs good, then.â
I have to know what thought is running through his mind. I can see it churning behind his eyes. âWhat?â
âNothing. You donât want to hear it.â
âYes, I do.â I know Iâll regret it, but that doesnât stop my curiosity.
âI just donât see any space. Youâre in Seattle, staying with friends of his family, one of whom is also your boss. Even from miles away, heâs controlling you, trying to end the few friendships that you have. And when heâs not doing that, heâs coming to Seattle to visit. That doesnât seem like much space to me.â