âYeah, well, you live there andââ
She interrupts me. âYou should go to the gym; youâre obviously wound up.â I can hear the concern in her voice, and the silence that follows proves her point. âPlease, Hardin.â
Thereâs no way I can say no to her. âIâll call you when I get back,â I agree and hang up the phone.
I CANâT SAY that I didnât see fucking Trevorâs fucking annoying, model-fucking-like face imprinted on the black bag as I kicked, punched, kicked, punched for two hours straight. But I also canât say that it helped, not really. Iâm still . . . just revved up. I donât even know why Iâm annoyed except that Tessa isnât here and Iâm not there.
Fuck, this is going to be a long week.
A text from Tessa is waiting for me when I reach my car. I hadnât expected to work out for so long, but I clearly needed it.
Been trying to stay awake but Iâm worn out ;) her message reads. Iâm thankful for the darkness outside that conceals the stupid-ass grin on my face from her corny innuendo. Sheâs so damn endearing without even trying.
I nearly ignore a message from Landon reminding me that Iâm running low on groceries. I havenât bought actual groceries for myself since . . . ever. When I lived in the frat house I just ate the shit that other people bought.
However, Tessa may be upset if she finds out Iâm not feeding her dad, and Landon wonât hesitate to tattle on me . . .
Somehow I find myself pulling into Target instead of Connerâs for groceries. Tessa is clearly influencing me without even being here. She spends just as much time at Connerâs as she does at Target, even though she can go on for hours explaining to me why Target is much better than any other store. She even expresses this while weâre in the middle of Connerâs. It annoys the shit out me, but Iâve learned to nod at the exact right moments to make her think Iâm listening and partly agreeing with her.
Just as I toss a box of Frosted Flakes into a shopping cart, a flash of red hair appears at the end of the aisle. I know itâs Steph before she turns around. Her skanky thigh-high black boots with red laces are a dead giveaway.
Quickly, I go over the two options here. One, I can walk over and remind her what a stupid fucking . . .
She turns to face me before I can go over the second option, which I probably would have preferred.
âHardin! Wait!â Stephâs voice sounds loud when I turn on my heel and leave the cart in the middle of the aisle. Regardless of the hard workout I just completed, thereâs no way that I could possibly control myself around Steph. No fucking way.
I can hear the heavy thud of her boots against the laminate floor as she follows me despite my obvious attempt at avoiding her.
âListen to me!â she yells when she gets right behind me. When I stop walking, she collides with my back and falls to the floor.
I spin and growl at her. âWhat the fuck do you want?â
She quickly scrambles to her feet. I notice that her black dress is now dusted white from the dirty floor.
âI thought you were in Seattle.â
âI am, just not at the moment,â I lie. Iâm not sure what possessed me to even try to keep a front up with her, but itâs too late to backtrack now.
âI know you hate me now,â she begins.
âFirst smart thought youâve had in a while,â I snap out, then get a good look at her. Her green eyes are nearly nonexistent what with the thick lines of black circling them. She looks like shit.
âIâm not in the mood for your crap,â I warn her.
âYou never have been.â She smiles.
I clench my fists at my sides. âI donât have shit to say to you, and you know how I get when I donât want to be bothered.â
âYouâre threatening me? Really?â She raises her arms in front of her, then drops them back down. I stay quiet as images of a barely conscious Tessa swarm my mind. I need to get away from Steph. I would never hurt her physically, but I know all the shit to say to cut her much deeper than anything she could imagine. Itâs one of my many talents.
âShe isnât good for you,â Steph has the nerve to say.
I canât help but laugh at the audacity of this bitch. âYou arenât stupid enough to try to discuss this with me.â
But Steph has never been anything if not sure of herself. Full of herself. âYou know itâs true. She isnât enough for you, and youâre never going to be enough for her.â The heat inside me turns from a simmer to a raging boil as she continues: âYouâre going to get bored with her prudish behavior, and you know it. Youâre probably already bored.â
âPrudish?â I bark another laugh. She doesnât know the Tessa who likes to be fucked in front of a mirror and fucks herself on my fingers until she screams my name.
Steph nods. âAnd sheâll get over this bad-boy fetish sheâs got with you and marry a banker or some shit. You canât be stupid enough to think sheâs in this for the long run. I know you saw how she was with Noah, that douche bag made of cardigans. They were like the poster couple for people who belong together, and you know it. You canât compete with that.â
âAnd what? Youâre implying that you and I would be better?â My voice comes out sounding much less demanding than I planned. Sheâs prying at my biggest insecurities, and Iâm trying my best not to falter.
She rolls her raccoon eyes. âNo, of course not.â
âI know you donât want meâyou never did. My point is, I care about you,â she says. I look away from her to scan the empty aisles. âI know you donât want to believe me, and I know you want to wring my neck for messing with your Virgin Mary, but in that dark heart of yours, you know what Iâm saying is true.â