This would be so much easier if I wasnât willing to admit how much of a fuckup I am. I donât know what Iâm going to do, but the questionâs not going to be settled right now. For tonight, Iâm going to go inside my apartment and watch Tessaâs favorite television showsâthe worst shows, which are full of ridiculous plot lines and horrible acting. Iâll probably even pretend that sheâs there explaining every scene to me, even though Iâm watching it right next to her, and I clearly understand what is going on. I love when she does that. Itâs annoying, but I love how passionate she is about the smallest details. Like who is wearing a red coat and harassing those obnoxious pretty little lying girls.
As I step off of the elevator, I continue to plan my night. Iâll end up watching that shit, then eating, take a shower, probably get myself off while picturing Tessaâs mouth around me, and Iâll do my best not to do anything stupid. Maybe Iâll clean up the mess I made yesterday even.
I stop in front of my apartment door and look back down the hall. Why the fuck is the door cracked open? Is Tessa back, or did someone break in again? Iâm not sure which answer would make me angrier.
âTessa?â I push the door open with my foot, and my stomach drops to the floor at the sight of her father slumped over, covered in blood.
âWhat the fuck?â I shout and slam the door closed.
âWatch out,â Richard groans, and my eyes follow his to the hallway, where, over his shoulder, I catch sight of something moving.
A manâs there, hovering over him. I square my shoulders and am ready to charge if need be.
But then I realize itâs Richardâs friend . . . Chad, I think his name is. âWhat the hell happened to him, and why the fuck are you here?â I ask him.
âI was hoping to see the girl, but youâll do,â he sneers.
My blood boils at the way this vile man refers to my Tessa. âGet the fuck out and take him with you.â I gesture to the piece of shit that brought this man to my apartment. His blood is making a mess on my floor.
Chad rolls his shoulders and twists his head back and forth. I can tell heâs trying to be calm but is feeling agitated. âThe problem with that is he owes me a lot of money, and he doesnât have a way to pay it,â he says, his dirty fingernails scratching at the small red dots on his arms.
Fucking junkie.
I hold up a flat hand. âNot my fucking problem. Iâm not going to tell you again to leave, and Iâm sure as hell not giving you any money.â
But Chad only smirks. âYou donât know who youâre talking to, kid!â He kicks Richard just below his rib cage. A pathetic whine falls from Richardâs lips as he slides down onto the floor and doesnât get up.
I am not in the mood to deal with fucking drug addicts breaking into my apartment. âI donât give a fuck about you, or him. Youâre sadly mistaken if you think Iâm afraid of you,â I growl.
What the fuck else could possibly happen this week?
No, wait. I donât want to know the answer to that.
I step toward Chad, and he backs away, just like I knew he would. âMaybe to be nice, I will say it once more: get out or Iâll call the cops. And while we wait for them to show up and save you, Iâll be beating the shit out of you with the baseball bat I keep handy in case some dumb fuck tries to pull shit like this.â I move toward the hall closet and grab the weapon from where it leans against the wall, lifting it slowly to prove my point.
âIf I leave without the money he owes me, whatever I do to him is on you. His blood will be on your hands.â
âI donât give a fuck what you do to him,â I say. But then Iâm suddenly unsure of whether I actually mean that.
âSure,â he says and looks around the living room.
âHow fucking much money?â I say.
âFive hundred.â
âIâm not giving you five hundred dollars.â I know how Tessa will feel when she learns that my suspicions about her father being an addict are true, and this makes me want to throw the wallet in Chadâs face and give him everything I have just to get rid of him. I hate knowing that I was right about her father; at this point she only half believes me, but soon sheâs going to have to realize the whole truth. I just wish this all would go away, Dick included. âI donât have that kind of cash on me.â
âTwo hundred?â he asks. I can practically see his addiction begging me through his eyes.
âFine.â I canât believe Iâm actually giving money to this junkie who has broken into my apartment and beaten Tessaâs dad to a pulp. I donât even have two hundred in cash. What am I supposed to doâtake the creep with me to the ATM? This is such fucking bullshit.
Who the fuck comes home to this shit?
Me. Thatâs fucking who.
For her. Only for her.
I pull my wallet from my pocket and toss the eighty dollars I just pulled from the bank at him and walk into the bedroom, bat still in hand. I grab the watch my father and Karen bought me for Christmas and throw it at him. For such a skeletal wreck of a human, Chad snatches it out of the air pretty deftly. He must really want it . . . or what he can trade it for.
âThat watch is worth more than five hundred. Now get the fuck out,â I say. But I donât want him to leave, really, I want him to try to come at me so I can bust his head open.
Chad laughs, then coughs, then laughs again. âUntil next time, Rick,â he threatens and walks out the door.
I follow him and point the bat at him, saying, âAnd, Chad? If I see you again, I will kill you.â