âYou mean my ass? And no, she did not.â
âWhat made you go, anyway? I told Tess not to buy you that pass to the gym, because you wouldnât use it.â
Annoyance flares in my chest at the way he called her âTess.â I donât like it one fucking bit. Itâs only Landon, I remind myself. Of all the shit I have to worry about right now, Landon is the least of my concerns.
âBecause I was enraged, and I felt like I was going to break everything in that goddamned apartment. So when I noticed the voucher as I was pulling out all of the drawers in the dresser, I grabbed it, put my shoes on, and took off.â
âYou pulled out all the drawers? Tessaâs going to kill you . . .â He shakes his head and finally takes a seat on the stack of mulch bags. I donât know why he agreed to help his mum move all this shit around, anyway.
âShe wonât see it . . . itâs not her place anymore,â I remind him, trying to keep the edge out of my voice.
He looks at me guiltily. âSorry.â
âYeah.â I sigh; I donât even have a witty comeback.
âItâs hard for me to feel bad for you when you could be there with her,â Landon says after a few beats of silence.
âFuck you.â I lean my head back against the wall, and I can feel him staring at me.
âIt doesnât make sense,â he adds.
âNot to you.â
âOr her. Or anyone.â
âI donât have to explain myself to anyone,â I snap.
âThen why are you even here?â
Instead of answering him, I look around the greenhouse, unsure of what Iâm doing in this place myself. âI donât have anywhere else to go.â
Does he think that I donât miss her every fucking second? That I wouldnât much rather be with her than standing here talking to him?
He gives me a sideways look. âWhat about your friends?â
âYou mean the one who fucking drugged Tessa? Or the other one who set me up in order to tell her about the bet.â I start counting them on my fingers to add to the dramatic effect. âOr you could mean the one who is constantly trying to get into her pants. Shall I go on?â
âGuess not. Though I could have told you that your friends sucked,â he says in an annoying tone. âSo what are you going to do?â
Deciding that keeping the peace is better than murdering him, I just shrug. âExactly what Iâm doing now.â
âSo youâre going to hang out with me and mope around?â
âIâm not moping. Iâm doing what you told me to do and bettering myself,â I mock, using air quotes. âHave you talked to her since she left?â I ask.
âYeah, she texted me this morning to tell me she arrived.â
âSheâs at Vanceâs, isnât she?â
âWhy donât you find out for yourself?â
Fuck, Landon is annoying. âI know she is. Where else would she be?â
âWith that Trevor guy,â Landon is quick to suggest. And his smirk makes me reconsider the stay of execution I had just granted him. If I tackled him, it wouldnât hurt much; heâs only about three feet off the ground anyway. It probably wouldnât even leave a bruise . . .
âI forgot about fucking Trevor,â I groan, rubbing harshly at my temples. Trevor is almost as infuriating as Zed. Only, I believe that Trevor does actually have good intentions when it comes to Tessa, which only upsets me even more. It makes him more dangerous.
âSo whatâs next in Project Self-Improvement?â Landon smiles, but it fades quickly and his expression turns serious. âIâm really proud of you for doing this, you know. Itâs nice to see you actually trying for once, instead of making an effort for an hour, then going back to the way you were the moment she forgives you. Itâll mean a lot to her to see you really following through on these changes.â
I drop my feet and rock in the chair slightly. Talking like this is stirring something up in me. âDonât try to lecture me. I havenât done shit yet; itâs only been a day.â A long, miserable, lonely day.
Landonâs eyes go wide in sympathy. âNo, Iâm serious. You didnât turn to alcohol and you havenât gotten into a fight, you havenât been arrested, and I know you came to talk to your dad.â
My mouth drops open. âHe told you?â That fucker.
âNo, he didnât tell me. I live here, and I saw your car.â
âOh . . .â
âI think you talking to him really would mean a lot to Tessa,â he continues.
âWould you just stop?â I say, imploring him with a quick hunch of my shoulders. âFuck. Youâre not my shrink. Stop acting like youâre better than me and Iâm some damaged fucking animal that you need toââ
âWhy canât you just graciously accept a compliment?â Landon says over me. âI never said I was better than you. All Iâm trying to do is be there for you as a friend. You donât have anyoneâyou said it yourself, and now that you let Tessa move to Seattle, you donât have a single person to give you moral support.â He stares at me but I look away. âYou have to stop pushing people away, Hardin. I know you donât like meâyou hate me because you think Iâm somewhat responsible for some of the issues you have with your dad, but I care deeply for Tessa and you, whether you want to hear that or not.â
âI donât want to hear it,â I fire back at him. Why does he always have to say shit like this? I came here to . . . I donât know, talk to him. Not to talk to him . . . not to have him tell me how much he cares about me.