Noah gives me a slight smile. âYeah, me, too,â he quietly agrees.
âTHERESA.â A hand grasps my shoulder and shakes me. âTheresa, wake up.â
âIâm up.â I groan and open my eyes. The living room. Iâm in my motherâs living room. I kick a blanket off my legs . . . a blanket Noah covered me with when I lay down after we talked a bit more and then started to watch some TV together. Just like old times.
I wriggle out of my motherâs grip. âWhat time is it?â
âNine p.m. I was going to wake you up earlier.â She purses her lips.
It must have been driving her insane to let me sleep the day away. Oddly, the thought amuses me.
âSorry, I donât even remember falling asleep.â I stretch my arms and stand to my feet. âDid Noah leave?â I peer into the kitchen, and I donât see him.
âYes. Mrs. Porter really wanted to see you, but I told her it wasnât a good time,â she says and goes into the kitchen.
I follow her, smelling something cooking. âThank you.â I do wish Iâd said a proper goodbye to Noah, especially because I know Iâll see him again.
My mother goes to the stove and says over her shoulder, âHardin brought your car, I see,â disapproval coloring her voice. A moment later, she turns from the stove and hands me a plate of lettuce and grilled tomatoes.
I havenât missed her idea of a good meal. But I take the plate from her hand anyway.
âWhy didnât you tell me that Hardin came here that night? I remember it now.â
She shrugs. âHe asked me not to.â
Taking a seat at the table, I poke at the âmealâ tentatively. âSince when do you care what he wants?â I challenge, nervous about her reaction . . .
âI donât,â she says and prepares her own plate. âI didnât mention it because itâs in your best interest not to remember.â
My fork slips from my fingers and hits the plate with a sharp clink. âKeeping things from me isnât in my best interest,â I say. Iâm doing my best to keep my voice cool and calm, I really am. To emphasize this, I dab the corners of my mouth with a perfectly folded napkin.
âTheresa, do not take your frustrations out on me,â my mother says, joining me at the table. âWhatever that man has done to make you this way is your own fault. Not mine.â
The moment her red lips pull into a confident smirk, I stand from the table, throw my napkin onto the plate, and storm out of the room.
âWhere are you going, young lady?â she calls.
âTo bed. I have to get up at four in the morning, and I have a long drive ahead of me,â I yell down the hallway and close the door to my bedroom.
I take a seat on my childhood bed . . . and immediately the light gray walls seem to be closing in on me. I hate this house. I shouldnât, but I do. I hate the way I feel inside it, like I canât breathe without being scolded or corrected. I never realized how caged and controlled I had been my entire life until I had my first taste of freedom with Hardin. I love having pizza for dinner, spending the entire day naked in bed with him. No folded napkins. No curled hair. No hideous yellow curtains.
Before I can stop myself, Iâm calling him, and heâs answering on the second ring.
âTess?â he says, out of breath.
âUm, hey,â I whisper.
âWhatâs wrong?â he huffs.
âNothing, are you all right?â
âCome on, Scott. Get back over here,â a female voice says in the background.
My heart starts hammering against my rib cage as the possibilities flood my mind. âOh, youâre . . . Iâll let you go.â
âNo, itâs fine. She can wait.â The background noise gets softer and softer by the second. He must be walking away from whoever she is.
âReally, itâs okay. Iâll just go, I donât want to . . . interrupt you.â Looking at the gray wall nearest my bed, I swear itâs crept closer to me. Like itâs ready to pounce.
âOkay,â he breathes.
What?
âOkay, bye,â I say quickly and hang up, holding my hand over my mouth to keep from vomiting on my motherâs carpet.
There has to be some sort of logicalâ
My phone buzzes next to my thigh, Hardinâs name clear on the small screen. I answer despite myself.
âIâm not doing what you think Iâm doing . . . I didnât even realize how it sounded,â he immediately states. I can hear a harsh wind blowing around him, muffling his voice.
âItâs okay, really.â
âNo, Tess, it wouldnât be,â he says, calling me out. âIf I was with someone else right now, that wouldnât be okay, so stop acting like it would be.â
I lie back on the bed, admitting to myself that heâs right. âI didnât think you were doing anything,â I half lie. I somehow knew he wasnât, but my imagination . . . it took me there still.
âGood, maybe you finally trust me.â
âMaybe.â
âWhich would be much more relevant if you hadnât left me.â His tone is sharp.
âHardin . . .â
He sighs. âWhy did you call? Is your mum being a bitch?â
âNo, donât call her that.â I roll my eyes. âWell . . . she kind of is being one, but itâs nothing big. Iâm just . . . I donât know why I called, really.â
âWell . . .â He pauses, and I hear a car door shut. âDo you want to talk or something?â
âIs that okay? Can we?â I ask him. Only hours ago I was telling him that I needed to be more independent, yet here I am, calling him the moment Iâm upset.