Chapter 3: Don’t Worry About Me

FREYA

“Raga, why?” Their mother sounded distressed.

“I can’t disobey orders. They want me back on the border. They’re sending all the Valkyrie. But please don’t worry, it’s just a precaution. Nothing more. Everyone knows the Valkyrie are the toughest ladies in all the land. When the Vargar mutts see us in the air, they’re sure to tuck tail and run back into the mountains!” Raga placed a hand on their mother’s curled fist.

“So, the ladies were right. The rumors are true. There are more of the beasts coming.” She stated it as a fact.

“As I said, don’t worry about me. I’ve spent seasons scaring the mongrels away. This won’t be any different.”

Freya could see their mother relax a fraction as Raga soothed her. Father placed a hand on his mate’s shoulder to gently stroke the soft feathers trailing down her nape.

She leaned into Father with a forlorn look in her eyes. She’d never wanted Raga to join the ranks of the soldiers in the first place. Freya supposed most parents didn’t, although they understood the necessity. Someone had to serve. Especially Father, being a former soldier himself, knew that keeping the border secure was crucial.

“I have to tell you,” Raga said. “I won’t stay long this time. I leave the day after tomorrow.”

The girls’ father nodded solemnly.

Mother’s eyes glistened with unshed tears, and she looked away from her family as if to hide. “It’s late, and the wine has exhausted me. I should turn in for the night.” She rose, and after kissing each of her daughters on the head, moved toward her and Father’s room.

Lonan sighed in the direction of his wife before turning to his daughters. His kind eyes and slight smile helped to ease some of the tension at the news Raga had shared.

Freya knew her sister was right to tell them tonight and not tomorrow before she left. Mother wouldn’t be as wounded knowing the hard truth sooner rather than later.

“We can spend the day together tomorrow. Gwylan would love to have her daughters help her finish knitting her current quilt commission. She’s getting an abundance of requests as the nights are getting cooler.”

“Of course we’ll help,” Freya said, looking at her sister. Raga nodded.

With that, their father also left to turn in for the night.

“Help me clean up the mess?” Raga motioned to the dishes on the table.

“Of course not! I clean the table every night you’re gone. It’s your turn,” Freya joked, shoving the family’s bowls over to Raga.

“You ungrateful thing! I spend moons protecting this family and I can’t return home to even a little rest?” Raga dipped her fingers into the last dredges of stew from a bowl and leapt playfully at Freya’s face.

“No! I’ve already washed for the night!”

Raga smeared cold broth on her smaller sister’s face, one arm wrapped around Freya’s shoulders to keep her in place. Boisterous laughter filled the dining space.

“You might as well help me now. You’re as dirty as the dishes!”

Freya let out a snort. Two could play at this.

She jabbed her fingers into the same bowl now at the table’s edge. With a swipe, she smeared leftover stew across Raga’s forehead.

Red tipped wings spread across the room as Raga leaned back. She hadn’t been expecting Freya to retaliate. “I should never underestimate you, sister.” She started to laugh.

Freya giggled at her victory. Together they began to clear the table of dishes and wipe the excess supper from their faces.

Once back up in their room, Raga opened the shutters to the window between their beds. A chill breeze swept in, followed by the fresh scent of the greenery outside. The smell of rain in the air foreshadowed the fall showers to come. Even through the thick foliage of the treetops, Freya could make out the twinkling of the brightest night stars.

Freya and Raga sat shoulder to shoulder under the window listening to the wind whistle and the night owls hoot.

“I think I’ve fallen in love, Freya.” Raga whispered to her sister. “Don’t tell Mother and Father yet.” She reached out and squeezed Freya’s hand.

“What? You’re in love?” Freya needed to know everything. “With who?” She was filled with envy and excitement for her sister. She didn’t know if she’d ever fall in love herself. Who would ever want her, a flightless creature?

But she could at least understand what love was, if Raga would tell her.

***

“Who is it?” Freya implored. “You have to tell me.”

“My commander, Alvyna. I’d like to bring her home to meet everyone after this next deployment.” A smile lit up Raga’s face.

“Will you tell me about her? How do you know it’s love?” This commander must be something to have caught Raga’s attention.

“She’s terrifyingly fierce. There’s no other Valkyrie like her. She’s the youngest commander. She’s that good. No one can stop her in battle. I’m sure she let me win when we were sparring. I think she likes me, too. I think we’re both feeling something.” Raga got a distant look in her eyes, as if they were full of clouds.

“What does it feel like to be near her?” Freya asked.

“Alvyna is strong, but she’s so tender, too. When she’s adding fresh dye to my wings, it feels so good. She’s so gentle when she helps me preen at night. She’s yellow like a canary, and in flight she looks as if she’s made of pure sunlight.” There was an unmistakable wistful tone in her voice as Raga spoke of this woman who had captured her attention.

Freya could feel Raga’s heartbeat increase while thinking of her fellow warrior. Her sister was so happy. It eased some of Freya’s worry to know there was someone out there who would take care of Raga.

“I’m so happy for you. She sounds lovely, and I can’t wait to meet her. I know she’ll fit in well with our family.” Freya stopped herself from saying anything about how jealous she was, or how Raga’s news made her worry she’d never find someone. Who would want her, anyway?

The sisters shared a hug and separated to their beds. They were nestled and warm in their bundles of covers, protected from the chill of the night air slipping in through the window.

Freya fell asleep thinking of how grateful she was that her sister could confide in her. She had to find the good feelings and hang onto them, or else her jealousy and feelings of inadequacy would be all she could think about.

***

Freya slept badly. Red eyes followed her in her dreams, and she ran as fast as her bare feet could take her. Through the trees, she caught a glimpse of glimmering white fangs and crimson eyes. The curs were stalking her as if she was nothing bigger than a rabbit in the grass.

Freya whimpered. In her dream, she tried to get her wings to work. But they didn’t work. She had to get away from the monster coming after her. The wings she should have had were limp and useless. Nothing more than a reminder of what she lacked.

Even in her dream, she couldn’t fly. So she ran.

The beasts were close behind her. She felt them moving fast behind her. She tripped but caught herself before she fell.

A beast touched the tips of her dream-wings that dragged along the ground. She could feel its teeth. Freya managed to leap away before it could catch her. Next, she felt a massive, clawed paw on her wings. The beast would rip her to shreds.

Time slowed down.

She could hear its panting breath behind her. She ran toward a cliff. The creature was right behind her.

She could feel its paw reaching for her face. Freya had no choice. She leapt off the cliff.

Time sped up as she fell. Again, she tried to get her wings to move. If she could just fly, or even slow her fall, she might be all right. But they wouldn’t even move. The last thing she felt was the ice-cold water of the river as she fell into it.

Freya woke trembling and covered in a cold sweat. Her blankets were on the floor. She must have been tossing and turning.

The first rays of morning light were shining through the open window. Yet, even with the coming sun she couldn’t shake away the chill that had settled deep in her bones.

Her nightmare had felt so real. The beast chasing her had felt real. She was worried that it meant something was going to happen to her sister.

***

The dream stayed with Freya throughout the day, even though she tried to put it behind her.

Father had stayed home to spend the morning with Raga before leaving to attend the fields with other Adaryn who lived at the edges of the colony. Father promised to bring home extra for a large supper tonight.

The sisters took lunch on the stoop with their mother. The sunlight trickled down through the tops of the trees. Freya watched the other Adaryn fly through the treetops. She tried not to be envious. They looked so natural and happy.

After her dream the night before, she felt so far apart from the rest of her people. Everyone could fly but her. She felt broken in comparison, and she was worried about her sister’s safety.

~Just try to enjoy your time with Raga while she’s home~, she told herself.

That night Raga made time to brush out and braid Freya’s hair. The long near white locks fell down her back and over the downy feathers covering the length of her spine. Her hair was much longer than the cropped short, wavy locks that surrounded Raga’s proud face. Ever since they were little fledglings, Raga had made sure to braid Freya’s hair each night and to help keep her feathers clean and preened.

Now Raga had Alvyna to help her, and Freya had to take care of herself.

But today, Freya could return the favor by braiding Raga’s hair into a crown atop her head. She wished she had flowers to tie in as she’d done when they were young.

“Don’t worry, little one. I’ll come home as soon the borders are clear.” Raga gently pushed Freya to her bed before climbing into her own.

The next morning when Freya woke, her sister and her armor were gone. Raga had left before the sun rose, flying back to guard Adaryn territory with the rest of the Valkyrie.

Freya curled up in her bed in the pre-dawn light. She tried not to worry. She had dreamed about the beasts again. Only this time, they were chasing her sister.