Chapter 23: High Tensions and Dark Thoughts

FREYA

For two days, Cain slept off his fever. The entire time, Freya was at his side caring for him. She used her sewing skills to stitch his wounds and coaxed water into him like she used to with her mother.

Vistra stopped by several times throughout each day to peek into the tent. She didn’t stop for long, but each time had a frighteningly conniving smirk. It was as if all her plans were falling into place. She didn’t hide her aspirations to have grandchildren. Freya had to ignore each mention of it.

Even though Freya knew now that Cain didn’t hate her, she still didn’t know him. Taking care of him while sick wasn’t going to magically make them fall in love. There were still high tensions between their people and dark thoughts weighing at the back of Freya’s mind.

Ivar was still missing. Freya had heard enough to know that he’d been responsible for the attack that led to Raga’s death. He’d been in cuffs that first night because the Adaryn were supposed to take him back as a prisoner. But nobody seemed to know where Ivar was now. His surviving allies weren’t here in the camp. It sounded like they’d all been punished or kicked out by Vistra for acting against her.

The wolf-mother wanted peace for her pack after the death of her mate. Cain’s father had died in a battle when he was very young and Vistra was hesitant to go to war. She told Freya that Ivar had been hungry for blood and had riled up other restless warriors to stir up trouble.

Freya would never forgive him for it. His actions had led to the death of her sister. With the way her mother had been, her death was sure to follow. Her father had grown distant and taken the first opportunity to get rid of Freya.

The timing was weird, too. Her sister died, and after months, the Council decided to honor Raga’s name? She thought back to those times at the market where she was being watched. Allen Grouse had known they could only offer a noble’s daughter to the wolf-mother’s heir after the suggestion for a union had been made.

It was the perfect excuse to throw a title on Freya’s family name and get rid of her. They were ashamed of having her as one of them, but they could get some use out of her this way. Although she’d always known she was different, it did break her heart to think they had sacrificed her so easily. In the silence of the tent, it was easy to weep out her sorrows while Cain slept off his infection.

The void that Raga left behind would never be filled. Her sister had been her greatest friend and ally in the world. It had become such a dark and cruel place without her presence. Freya thought it would be a betrayal to Raga if she forgave Ivar for what he’d done.

Yet, Freya was wise enough to see that it wasn’t the fault of the entire pack that she’d lost her sister. Vistra wanted peace just as badly as she did. She had offered up her only child in the hopes of an alliance.

The Vargar had such a feeling of inclusivity and strong family ties. She’d been welcomed so easily it almost broke her mind. How wrong the Adaryn scholars were in their writings about the world of Vargar. She thought she should write them something to correct the record. Maybe once she got settled in her new home.

Just because they could turn into a beastly wolf-like creature didn’t mean they were in turn as savage as an everyday wolf. They cared about the thrill of the hunt and the safety of their pack. Freya had seen how children were raised and cared for by everyone.

What would it be like to have that kind of family bond?

Adaryn were all so concerned about status and gossip. Freya realized she might not have ever fit in with her own kind even if she’d had her wings. She didn’t care about the things they cared about. And she’d never forgive her people for wanting her to have died from her illness. That was how much they needed their kind to fly.

With the Vargar, she didn’t have to feel like she was missing out on anything. It was easy to join the flow of everyday life on solid ground at their sides. Sometimes she felt awkward, but most of her interaction before now had been solely with her family.

Except her time with Aurik. She still thought about him, a little.

Aurik hadn’t even come to tell her goodbye. That was all she needed to know.

Their last interactions angered her now. It seemed to her that perhaps he just wanted a plaything. He paraded her around in front of everyone at the dance, then tried to bed her, on one of the worst days of her life. Aurik would never truly love her. He must just have liked the power he had over her. Surely, it made him feel superior when he was flying Freya around like the pitiful thing she was. Or used to be.

Here, she didn’t feel broken or pitiful. Her help around the camp was appreciated and not once did she look to the sky with envy. In fact, once she started to take care of Cain during his fever, they seemed to grow a great deal of respect for her.

It was noon on the second day when Cain’s fever broke. He muttered in his sleep, tossing and turning more than before.

Freya was relieved at the signs his strength was returning. Even asleep, even ill, he was so muscular and beautiful.

On the morning of the third day, Freya woke up alone. She had grown used to sharing the bed with Cain. The cold had seeped into the tent and gotten under her skin.

“Good morning,” Vistra greeted Freya cheerfully when she sat down to break her fast not long after the sun had crested over the line of trees. This morning was particularly frigid, and Freya was covered in a thick fur cloak she’d been gifted.

“It’s a cold morning. I don’t think I’d call it a good one,” Freya replied.

“It’s a fantastic morning!” Vistra kept going. “My son is in perfect health, thanks to you.” She leaned forward with her eyebrows raised to compliment her smirk.

“It wasn’t all me. He has a strong will and fought the fever well. I didn’t need to do much at all.” Freya tried to downplay with a shrug.

“He came racing out before first light and ate everything in sight. Cain must have devoured a pack’s worth of food before running into the woods on his paws.” She waved at the direction of the tree line.

“Paws?” Freya was wide-eyed and mouth agape.

“Oh yes, it’s good to make the change after an illness. Days of sleeping, a full belly, and a run for a few hours will have him right as a spring day.” She wiped away a few breadcrumbs from her lap before continuing. “We should have music tonight. Cain will have a lot of energy when he gets back, and I think some dancing would do him good.”

Freya was suspicious as she looked at the glint in Vistra’s eyes. The she-wolf was up to something. The way the Fargrim smirked was starting to become a family trait she easily recognized.

“Did he say anything to you when he was eating?”

“No, nothing directly to me. He seemed to be talking more to himself than anyone around while he was stuffing his face. All I could make out was something about feathers, but who knows.” Vistra shrugged and leaned back in her seat.

They both knew well that Freya had to have been the reason he was talking about feathers. She’d been sleeping on the opposite side of the bed from him. Cain had to have seen her feathers when he woke up that morning. What could he have been saying?

~Pretty little bird~.

His words echoed in her mind. Freya turned away from Vistra to hide the blush creeping up her cheeks.

She wanted him to like her. But even though she was now sure he didn’t hate her, that didn’t mean she knew he liked her. Aurik had proclaimed his love for her and yet he’d never complimented her.

Vistra poked her in the center of her forehead. “You’ll get wrinkles making a face like that. Don’t think too hard. Tonight you’ll be dancing with Cain.”

“That’s not what I was thinking about!” She couldn’t control the furious blushing on her cheeks and the way her voice had pitched in response. It might not have been dancing, but she was absolutely thinking about Cain.

“Hmph,” Vistra chuckled, once again leaning back in her seat. “I never would have expected a thing like you to be delivered to us. It’s clear they never saw your true value, but I’m thankful for it. I’m glad it was you, and I think Cain is too.” She placed her hand gently over Freya’s and gave a sincere squeeze.

Her dark eyes met Freya’s and the look was so kind that Freya had to fight an onslaught of tears that were building in force. If only her own mother had shown her such kindness.

“Besides, I wouldn’t want a snooty peacock of a girl for my son. That’s why I told him he could refuse to give the offering. To go against a normal courtship and make an offering on first sight is not normal for us. But the way he looked at you, I think he would have offered you anything.” Vistra’s eyes seemed far away.

Freya had a feeling she was thinking about her lost mate.

“Can I ask you something? I’m glad your people aren’t reserved like the Adaryn are. But I must admit, I’m not reading Cain like you are. He didn’t talk to me for days because he thought I was afraid of him. Just because he says silly things during his fever doesn’t—”

“What did he say in his fevered state?” Vistra interrupted.

“I’m sure it doesn’t matter! When he woke this morning, he just left. I woke up alone.” She covered her mouth with her hand. She’d just told his mother they’d been in the same bed.

Surely anyone could have guessed they’d been sharing the bed, but saying it out loud was another thing entirely. Freya blushed furiously. The feathers at her nape stood on end. Cain had only held her the first night, but their closeness in that environment was still embarrassing.

She wondered if she’d made the wrong choice. Maybe she should have slept outside on the cold ground or found someone else to stay with. But that was her space, with her things in it. Freya had done what she thought was practical in the moment.

“I think what he said does indeed matter. In the heat of a fever, one will usually state freely what’s on their mind. Well, that or utter nonsense. Either way I’d love to know.” Her eyes were too dark and intimidating.

Freya found she couldn’t hide from the way Vistra could pull out her thoughts and feelings without too much prodding. Her Adaryn reserve was crumbling.

“No, it’s too embarrassing.” She crossed her arms stiffly.

“I’ll be in the room when you birth my grandchildren. You’re going to tell me.” The wolf-mother was radiating a dominant energy.

A moment passed as Vistra stared Freya down, wearing out her resolve.

“Pretty little bird,” Freya whispered. She was still burning hotly at the mention of her giving birth to Cain’s children.

“Oh, for moon’s sake, he’s got it bad!” Vistra slammed her hand down on the table and then heartily laughed.

Freya didn’t know what she meant, but her ears burned hotly while Vistra continued to laugh at her son’s expense. “I’ll have more casks of mead opened for tonight. We’re going to need them!”