13 - Chapter Thirteen - Leno's Point Of View.
Looking at Diego I had to double check that this was happening. Here
we were in the office of the therapist that Felix and Dakota wanted me
to see. Diego had told me to give it a chance, this might just be what
we needed to get over the unspeakable thing I did. However, the more
I thought about it the more I felt like I shouldn't be talking about what I
did. I couldn't tell if the sickness I felt was from my nerves or the baby,
but it was not a nice feeling at all. Diego must have felt some of it
because he set his hand on the small baby bump and rub back and
forth. It was a pretty relaxing feeling. It helped that he was showing me
some kind of affection, but it also made me feel so fucking guilty.
"Whatever happens in here we are a team, Leno. We are a team for this
baby."
"I know it's still hard to stay calm."
Diego pressed a kiss to my head. It was pretty shocking. He had kissed
my forehead in public and it was of his own free will.
"I'll see Diego and Leno now."
Standing up I looked at Diego before starting to walk. He followed right
behind me. The inside of the office was white and had two chairs which
looked old and worn right out. The lady closed the door behind us and
sat down in an office chair. It was a well used office that made me
wonder how many mates actually needed to get therapy.
"Please sit so we can start the session.â
Diego was the first to sit down. He pulled me behind him lightly
moving me towards the chair. Giving up I sat in the chair and Diego
visibly relaxed. Turning to face us the lady introduced herself as Lyla.
Diego and I introduced ourselves right back. It was pretty easy to talk
to her right from then, but I knew it would only get harder as we
started to talk about the thing I did to Diego.
"I was told you are carrying so these sessions are probably going to be
hard and it's okay to feel many things, we will work through it all and
make this as painless and enlightening as possible. My aim is to help
you two to connect.â
Diego and I nodded. I hoped she could actually help us connect.
"How about we talk about the baby? Tell me your thoughts on baby
Diego."
Looking at Diego he looked puzzled as he had to think about his
answer.
"I think.. at first I was disgusted with it. But that baby is mine. My son or
daughter and even if Leno and I don't get along even after this. In the
end, it's not the baby's fault. I won't disown my child.â
"And you Let your thoughts on the baby?"
Sitting there even I had to think about my thoughts of the baby. I really
hadn't thought about how I felt about the baby. To me, it was just there.
It was a mistake, but i didn't think of it that way.
âLeno your answer?"
"1 uh, I've never really thought about it. I mean getting pregnant
wasn't by no means part of my plan for that night..."
"Please tell me about that night if you can, in your own words explain it
to me, an outsider.â
My mouth went dry. I couldn't find the words. Diego was on edge at
her question. Taking a deep breath I tried to explain it the best I could
in my own words from my own thoughts.
" The plan came to me after the council threatened his position as beta.
For once I wanted to help Diego. I always felt like I was in his way so I
thought if I could at least help him with that. He didn't see me as a help
ever. I knew what I had done was wrong but I couldn't take it back. I
found out I was pregnant and I thought about getting rid of it because
how could he love a child that came from that. But I didn't have the
heart so I thought about adoption but I couldn't. That night I got him
drunk and took advantage of him. I used him for my own selfish needs
thinking I was helping him and there isn't a day I don't wish I could
prove how sorry I am for him. I took away his choice. He should have
been able to choose if mating me was the thing he wanted to do. I feel
so guilty because of it. I feel I shouldn't be here. I don't belong beside
him like this. I thought if i were to just stay around and after birthing
the baby if I were to leave things would be better for him, but that
makes me feel worse."
Diego took my hand and gave it a squeeze. Our mind link crackled to
life.
I forgave you the day I saw that we had a child growing inside of you. I
just didn't know how to put aside my anger and judgement of you. The
anger I felt wasn't for you, that child or even the actions you took. I was
disgusted by the child however because it wasn't out of love... It was
out of you trying to please me, I should have been trying to please you.
I never want you to feel like you don't belong, Leno. You are mate and
no matter how we got to be like this, i will never hate you. I can't. But
let me tell you this, Don't you dare think about leaving me or our child.
I will hunt you down and drag you back. You are a part of my life and
that childs.
I was filled with the feeling of something almost like the weight slowly
releasing off my shoulders. Some but not all of it.
"I think I understand what happened. You had good intentions on
helping your mate and they went badly is this correct?"
Yes!â
"Diego, Let me ask you your feelings on this subject?"
Diego clearly didn't want to talk about it, it was still a sore spot for him
understandably. After realizing he wasn't ready to talk about it she went
back to talking to me about all kinds of things before we ran out of
time. She sheduleded me for the same time next week and said she
took forward to our next visit.