My mouth ran dry, inside of me jolting awake like a wind up toy.
Sniffing the air feeling the blockage of my nose, I felt a chill down my neck as I opened my eyes.
Fuck me it's cold today.
The heater didn't save us this time, let's just hope Jinae's alright.
Quietly lifting my body a bit up so I could rest my back against the couch's armrest, dropping my head to see the still asleep noona on my chest.
What day is it again?
Yesterday was uh- Saturday?
Right, I'm pretty sure it's Sunday then.
Means I don't have to bring Jinae to school, cool, great.
Looking down at noona, my stomach rumbled, not too quiet but not too loud, just enough for me to tell me to get up.
Y/N - sorry noona.
Laying my hands on her arms that wrapped around me, gently taking them off with patience.
Once I got them off, moving forward with my shuffling my legs out of the position.
Moving slowly and ever more so slowly, finally getting them out.
Her head was on my lap so I needed something to substitute myself.
Forgetting I had a pillow on my back, my hand lifted to grab it from behind as I slowly got out.
Holding her head up gently before sliding the pillow underneath, taking a sigh since I successfully did it, nature calls for the number one.
But before I do, squatting down. Grabbing the blanket, using it to drape it over her more.
Y/N - alright, that's settled.
Affirming myself with a nod, I stood back up and walked over to the bathroom to do my business and brush my teeth.
Doing all of that in a quick few minutes, walking out of the bathroom.
I made my way towards Jinae's room, quietly entering her room to check up on her.
My head popped out from the small gap in the door so I could see her, her blanket was on the floor, her pillows everywhere and her teddy bear also joined alongside the blanket.
Y/N - hm.
Quietly opening the door ajar, letting me go inside while keeping my footsteps quiet.
Squatting down to grab her blanket and teddy bear, putting my elbow on the bed frame to put her teddy beside her.
Looking at her, hair all around her face so the right thing to do was to clean it up for her.
Wouldn't want her to look like Sadako when she wakes up, and believe me it has happened before.
Almost made me drop a plate once, but to be fair. I watched a horror movie the night before, so that's on me.
Leaning over and fixing her hair, moving them to the outside of her face where it laid, putting the blanket over her.
Rearranging it so she could be warm, grabbing teddy again and putting it on top of her.
Her arms immediately wrapped around the bear, making me softly smile.
Feeling like I've done my job right, I stood back up, hearing my knees creak.
Man, I am getting old.
Twenty four and my knees hurt, that's something alright.
Quietly making my way out of her room, closing the door fully before I made my way to the kitchen.
Scratching the back of my neck, before wrapping my arm around behind my back, scratching my back.
Smacking my lips while opening the fridge and popping my head inside.
Y/N - uhhhhhhhh..........
Grabbing whatever out of the fridge and figuring out what to do with it as I cook, I made my way towards the sink watching my hands again.
Y/N - doo doo dooooo
Wiping my hands clean with the towel, my back turned towards the kitchen drawer, especially the one from second below.
Taking out a kitchen knife, yawning at it.
Y/N - hm~
Let's see how this goes before they wake up.
â--------
Singing along to a guilty pleasure of mine, having some airpods in my ears while I cooked.
Holding a wooden spoon in my hand, singing to the song.
Pumping out some dancing this early in the morning.
Snapping my finger with the spoon to act as a microphone.
Spinning around in the same spot.
Y/N - oh yeah motherfucker uh, yeah uh
Doing the same corny popping, keeping my eye on the pot still boiling.
Seulgi - hey Y-
Looking to my left, jumping out of my skin, yelping a bit before setting the spoon down on the counter like a flash.
Putting her hands up in front of her, eyes popping out like they were about to explode from my reaction.
Immediately taking out my airpods and putting them beside the spoon, quickly regaining myself in my composure, clearing my throat.
Y/N - good morning noona
Seeing how I switched over in an instant prompted her to laugh suddenly.
Seulgi - you- hahaha-
Getting a bit red in my cheeks, feeling a bit embarrassed about someone catching me.
Y/N - ya
Seulgi - haha you were all-
Initiating me, my eyes furrowing looking at her with a stare.
Doing the same thing I was doing, making her laugh even more.
Seulgi - Mi- Miahne, haha... hehe.
Y/N - noona come on.
Chuckling a bit more to herself, she eventually stood beside me as I faced the cooker, checking up on the food.
Seulgi - alright, alright. I'm here. Okay, cool. Good morning?
Y/N - good morning, there we go. Really caught me doing that.
Seulgi - should've signed up for SM when you had the chance
Y/N - again, no interest in being an idol.
Seulgi - it's never too late
Y/N - I'm pretty sure it is and what's the obvious reason why as well?
Seulgi - you can't sing?
Turning my neck to face her, giving her the 'are you serious' stare at her.
Letting her gears in her head turn for a bit, before gradually lighting up like a lightbulb in her head
Seulgi - right! Right... Jinae.
Y/N - exactly.
Softly smiling to herself, wrapping a arm around my waist, leaning into the pot
Seulgi - looks good
Y/N - eh, it's what I just found. I did a grocery run the other day but I don't feel like properly making a full meal you know?
Seulgi - no I get it, we're all lazy sometimes.
Y/N - mmhm.
Stirring the pot around with the same spoon, my other arm wrapped around her shoulder, letting her with the option to lean into me.
Which she did.
Seulgi - it's quite cold today isn't it?
Y/N - mmhm, bundle up for whatever you have again later.
Seulgi - you know me, I will.
Y/N - do you think I woke up Jinae?
Seulgi - maybe.
Y/N - I don't hear her getting out of bed and she's not obviously walking up to us right now
Seulgi - some alone time for us I guess
Y/N - yeah.
Her arm fully wrapped around my waist, her other arm wrapping around my other side, making me step back a bit, letting her hug me.
Seulgi - you're warm all of a sudden
Y/N - probably because I'm so close to the stove
Seulgi - either way, you're always warm
Y/N - is that way you always sleep with me when you sleep over?
Seulgi - well- not during the summer
Y/N - you do DURING the summer
Seulgi - what's wrong with that?!
Y/N - nothing, I'm just saying.
Seulgi - can I not sleep with you?
Y/N - you can, why are you being so pruney all of a sudden?
Seulgi - I'm just teasing you
Y/N - *sighs* it's still early and I haven't had coffee, let me be
Seulgi - been drinking a lot of coffee since you quit drinking right?
Y/N - a more bearable addiction, both can still kill me outright but at least with coffee I'm sober and all energised to a certain point
Seulgi - that crash once the caffeine ends is always so horrible
Y/N - so so horrible
Seulgi - hehehe
The both of us stood there, basking in the silence once more between us.
Her head eventually laying on my shoulder, just watching me do whatever from my point of view
Seulgi - you know. You're so damn lucky
Y/N - me?
Seulgi - yeah, you're literally like half-Korean and that other 50% is something else
Y/N - I think, American? Italian or something?
Seulgi - I get why you're so damn tall
Y/N - my biological mother was from the US or something, I don't remember or was he European? I don't know
Seulgi - but you look more Korean, would you rather look the way you are or more foreign?
Y/N - I don't- really care. Appearances don't matter to me a whole lot
Seulgi - but you dress good
Y/N - for the occasion, YOU dress good everyday regardless of whatever
Seulgi - yeah but that's just me
Y/N - probably
Seulgi - but you do dress like Gen Z
Y/N - but like- that's the normal for us you know?
Seulgi - brought back the 90s and 2000s even though, I literally lived through it
Y/N - it's just the trend but for me, I rather be comfy wearing baggy clothes. Besides you know me
Seulgi - oh I'm sorry Mr stuck in 2000s music, do you want me to sing G.O.D for you or even SNSD?
Y/N - I'll sing G.O.D for you, I like them more
Seulgi - okay then jeez
Y/N - I'm telling you, I'm a damn fangod even though I was practically a baby around when they were around
Seulgi - you literally told me you don't listen to kpop
Y/N - they are AN EXCEPTION
Seulgi - yeah okay
We both softly laughed, and finished with the dish I had in mind. Turning off the heat on the stove, where I turned my entire body to face her where I hugged her, wrapping my arms around her.
Seulgi - hm? Affectionate all of a sudden?
Y/N - shut up you do this to me all the time.
Laying my head on her shoulder where she patted my back.
Seulgi - right I do.
Y/N - you know me, I rarely do it.
Seulgi - so- are you tired?
Y/N - ani. Just, felt like doing it.
Seulgi - you must love your noona more than Soo-Young?
Y/N - maybe.
Seulgi - so she's gonna love hearing this
Y/N - but I'm pretty sure it's equal to be honest, all of you are my sisters and have been for a longgg time
Seulgi - uh- Yerim?
Y/N - uhhh..... Right. Forgot about that.
Seulgi - young love is at its peak isn't it?
Y/N - you shush, let me do this or I'm not doing it again
Seulgi - go on, I'm not complaining.
Y/N - mmhm
Standing still in the same position, feeling my hand getting grabbed. Prompting me to look up from her shoulder
Y/N - hm?
Seulgi - what? Can I not hold your hand?
Y/N - are you going to slow dance with me or something?
Seulgi - do you want to?
Y/N - sure, I'm bored.
Letting go of her, our hands interconnecting with each other. Looking at each other's eyes, soft smiles on our faces.
Seulgi - ballroom-ish?
Y/N - sure.
Walking out of the kitchen, I haven't done dancing like this in ages, so it'll take me time to remember.
Seulgi - wait, how long has it been since we danced like this?
Y/N - a longgg while
Seulgi - uhhh let me think.... We watched Titanic together didn't we?
Y/N - we did
Seulgi - righ- right! And we got bored and started to dance with them during that one scene? But that was more energetic right?
Y/N - well- I'm not copying Leo in that scene, let's just do it slowly since it's morning.
Seulgi - we have no music though
Y/N - you sing or something, I don't want to put on music
Seulgi - it'll be just as loud
Y/N - yeah- but I haven't heard you sing in a while
Seulgi - jeez, you can just ask
Y/N - I'm still just as shy to ask you
Letting out a small laugh, looking down at the ground before back up at me
Seulgi - you're still shy to dance with me?
Y/N - I'm still that little kid when I'm around you noona sometimes
Seulgi - crazy to think we've known each other than long
Y/N - too long
Seulgi - but it wasn't all too bad has it?
Y/N - nope.
Our feet in position, hands interlocked as we started it off.
Y/N - sorry, I'm still trying to remember
Seulgi - me too.
It was a bit awkward at first but slowly second by second, we were almost in the groove of it
Y/N - what song are you going to do for this?
Seulgi - hm.... You know that song from IU-sunbaenim
Y/N - let me guess. Love wins all?
Seulgi - let it be that it fits sort of well
Y/N - sure.
Listening to her clear up her voice, it took her a second to figure out the melody line and feel of the song from her own memory
Y/N - close enough
Nodding as we danced, it was like the atmosphere in the air had mellowed down.
Like it was just the both of us, when it was but in a certain way I couldn't describe.
As if everything had faded away together, her voice softened as her head laid on my shoulder, getting closer to each other.
Taking in her voice, it caught my attention even after so long.
She hasn't changed a bit, still the same since the day I met her for the first time when Soo-Young-noona brought her over one day when they were still trainees.
I think I was twelve or thirteen or something but then again, I just can't remember since I'm just.
Mesmerised by her voice.
The both of us slowly glided around the same area, few steps at a time left or right.
I'm just surprised I haven't stepped on her foot at all or she hasn't stepped on mine. But considering we were in slippers, I think we're fine.
Eventually, she had finished the song but we didn't stop moving one bit.
Just swaying side to side at this point.
So quiet to the point that I could hear everything else around me, even a bit of a door opening would get me out of this state.
Seulgi - *sighs*
Y/N - yeah?
Responding to her in a gentle voice, she had done the same but out of her current feeling.
Seulgi - why do I feel like I'm going to miss this?
Y/N - what do you mean?
Seulgi - you know. Eventually, you'll fall in love. And some things between us won't be the same anymore.
Y/N - I think things will be the same.
Seulgi - not like this. I'm the only one you've let so close into your life other than Soo-Young. You're the only one who's made me feel so different. Not like the girls or the guys I used to like before.
Y/N - maybe it's the comfortability. Add that on towards the years we've known each other. We've done stuff like this without a second thought.
Seulgi - yeah. I- I'm just scared.
Y/N - scared of losing what we have?
Seulgi - I honestly don't know what we have. You're not like a namdongsaeng but you're not like a boyfriend or anything. I- it confuses me.
Y/N - to me you're my noona. Someone who's practically taught me everything I needed alongside everyone else, but mainly you and Soo-Young-noona
Seulgi - wasn't Joo-Hyun-unnie up there too?
Y/N - her too. But we aren't as close
Seulgi - you guys are pretty close from what I've seen
Y/N - but we're not like you and me. You know?
Seulgi - mhm.
Y/N - we may be very different but there isn't anyone I would trust as much than you and Soo-Young-noona.
Seulgi - me too.
Y/N - are you really scared of me growing up?
Seulgi - a- ani. It's you falling in love.
Y/N - what's so bad about it?
Seulgi - I won't be able to do things like this with you anymore. Just the two of us.
Y/N - I'll always be who you remember at the end of the day.
Seulgi - a- and just- me too, I don't know if I'll even get married.
Y/N - it just takes time
Seulgi - there's just no one just like you. You know?
Y/N - it doesn't always have to be like me. Maybe you're just used to being around me so much that you imagine I would be perfect for you.
Seulgi - you're already perfect enough.
Y/N - ah, noona.
Seulgi - I mean it. And dating an idol is hard enough, seems hard enough. There's just not much time at all and it'd be a hard path even once we're not idols anymore you know?
Y/N - it wouldn't be that bad, you've seen the way I've lived for like two years. Balancing Jinae,work and having to budget so discreetly so I could feed Jinae.
Seulgi - but I'm not built like that. It's just the matter of having to come to terms with myself that I'm not in the headspace of being an idol anymore when it's all said and done and having to find myself a person to marry? Falling deeper for someone else is complicated.
Y/N - well, I just know you'll be okay. We'll be okay.
Seulgi - do you really think so?
Y/N - I think so.
Smirking to myself, my head thought of a joke to settle the weird atmosphere.
Y/N - if anything, if nothing works out. You can always just marry me, just go two for one. All you gotta do is deal with Haewon if something ever actually happens with that.
Seulgi - that was an option this whole time?
Lifting an eyebrow, our feet stopping in position where she looked at me. A genuine look on her face that didn't feel sarcastic at all.
Y/N - what?
Seulgi - would you let me marry you? IF! IF it doesn't work out?
Yeah, it has come to me that joke was fucking awful. And I mean awful.
Y/N - I- uhm-
Seulgi - I mean- sorry. You're probably joking aren't you?
Seeing her turn her head down, feeling bad about it. Laying my hand on her shoulder, letting go of her hand. Softly smiling at her.
Y/N - nah. I mean it.
Seulgi - jinjja?
Y/N - mmhm. We're like? 6? 7 years apart right?
Seulgi - right, I forgot myself. Too early in the morning to think.
Y/N - we'll be just fine despite the gap, generational even.
Seulgi - you're really not joking are you? You're not playing with me?
Shaking my head, I confidently smiled.
Y/N - ani.
Maybe I should tell her?
Noticing as I felt as she squeezed my hand tighter, slowly lifting her head up to look at me.
Seulgi - you're so weird you know that?
Making me laugh to myself, we both looked at each other with content expressions.
Maybe I'll save it for next time.
Y/N - I know.
She felt let go of my hand, the pressure wearing off.
The both of us stepped back a bit for some space.
Seulgi - should I wake up Jinae?
Y/N - for breakfast? Yeah yeah.
Scratching the back of my head, watching her walk away towards Jinae's room.
I should really grow a spine, but I know myself.
Deep down, I was still that kid who still liked her.
But I don't know what to do.
Or how to feel anymore as much with everything going on,
Especially Haewon.
â--------
Sitting around the dining table with a newly awoke Jinae, her head was about to almost fall spalt into the bowl but,
Leaning over towards her. I held her head up for her, where she looked up at me as she regained herself and let go.
Y/N - are you that tired munchkin? You look like me after a night of work.
Jinae - me tired
Seulgi - what did you even do? You slept really early sweetie
Jinae - I woke up in the middle of the night again
Y/N - aw again?
Seulgi - Y/N, you should get her to be checked out.
Y/N - yeah, I'll do it as soon as possible.
Jinae - can I sleep again after breakfast?
Y/N - uh....
Looking at Seulgi for help, she immediately responded back
Seulgi - you can't. You don't want your tummy to hurt right?
Jinae - ani.
Seulgi - you can just rest with me okay? We'll do something cool and then you can sleep in two hours
Jinae - okay.
Looking back at me, I nodded.
Sometimes I just don't have the heart to say no to her,
Am I too soft on Jinae?
Y/N - tha-
My phone had lit up on the table, causing the table to shake. Garnering the attention of the two as I quickly grabbed it and put it up to my ear after seeing who it was on the other side.
Y/N - yeoboseyo?
Boss - Y/N. I need you to come over to the building. you know Yoona, correct?
Y/N - yes, Seol Yoona, sir.
Boss - the managers are out right now, you're aware of the break I've put you and the girls on right?
Y/N - yes.
Boss - the managers are on break too but they're out of the country.Something had come up in Yoona's schedule we didn't expect. A surprising shoot and you're the only other person that would happily do some overtime
Y/N - you're not wrong.
Boss - say, I'll add in twenty percent for you after this month if you take i-
Y/N - yes.
Boss - no hesitation as usual. Anyways, you need to be here in about? Thirty to thirty five minutes? We're just trying to get in and out, so we wouldn't take up any more time.
Y/N - alright, what about Yoona?
Boss - ah right. Make that fourty to forty five.
Y/N - understood sir.
Boss - get going
Hanging up the call, my phone went immediately into my pocket.
Y/N - uh. I have to go to work.
Seulgi - hm?
Jinae - papa?
Running over to my bedroom, grabbing my jeans and quickly taking off my pyjama pants. Hopping into my jeans where Seulgi-noona walked into my room
Seulgi - what's with the rush?
Y/N - I have to pick up a NMIXX member and bring her over to the building. Something came up and I have to be there for her since their managers are gone for the break.
Seulgi - how long?
Y/N - should be a few hours
Seulgi - but i have to go in a few hours
Y/N - call anyone, and I mean anyone.
Seulgi - uhhhhh- you wouldn't mind if I call over Soo-Young then?
Y/N - isn't she shooting right now?
Seulgi - oh right. Uhm-
Y/N - just anyone okay?
Seulgi - okay.
Nodding at me, I quickly grabbed my keys, also grabbing my jacket while walking over to her where she was in the doorway.
Y/N - just, see me off alright? I swear I'll be quick.
Seulgi - it's okay. I'll have a backup plan in case you don't make it.
Y/N - cool.
The both of us walked from the doorway, I headed closer to Jinae, standing right behind her as I bent over and kissed her on the top of her head.
Y/N - Jinae-ah, I'm going to work
Jinae - hmm? Wae?
Turning her head to look at me, my hand ruffled her head. Softly smiling at her.
Y/N - your Yoona-unnie needs my help for something at work, I'll be back soon okay?
Jinae - okay!
Y/N - your Seulgi-gomo is here, so be a good girl for her
Jinae - I will!
My eyes looking at Seulgi, she walked over to me, standing beside me.
Seulgi - got everything?
Checking my pockets for everything, my wallet and keys.
It all sat inside either in my jacket or in my jeans, looking up at her.
Feeling her hand had raised and rested itself on my cheek, gently caressing it.
Seulgi - if I won't be here later, then call me when you can.
Y/N - I will, sure you can't stay longer?
Seulgi - we're both busy people, now go on.
Going on her tiptoes, she kissed me on the cheek, a weird feeling in my stomach ran through me even though she's done this before.
Letting go of my cheek, she patted me on the shoulder as I turned around
Seulgi - take care
Y/N - you too noona.
Waving at Jinae while walking past her, it had occurred to me that I fear that whatever I was expecting, isn't happening.
â---------
My feet planted at the front of their door, I took a deep sigh before knocking.
Putting my hands in my jean pockets.
I only had about twenty-ish minutes left before we had to get there. But I had called Yoona beforehand to check up on her and see where she was.
Waiting around for a few more minutes, the front door finally opened. My eyes lit up in surprise looking at her.
Sully - oh, oppa. Hi
Y/N - Yoona-ah.
We both smiled at each other, she waved at me enthusiastically where in response, my wave was just simple.
Y/N - good morning
Sully - good morning to you too.
Her hand rested on the doorknob but before she could close the door, my ears perked up hearing Haewon
Hae - AH! WAIT YOONA-AH!
Sully - hm?
Opening the door more, Haewon ran up to me, quickly hugging me.
Y/N - mornin' you're a bit more energetic for some reason
Hae - felt like it
Letting me go, planting a kiss on my cheek as she got on her tiptoes before giggling to herself
Hae - that's all, bye bye!
Y/N - b- bye
Waving goodbye at her, I watched as the door closed behind Yoona, my eyebrow lifting up out of confusion.
Pointing to the door with my thumb, laughter coming out of her.
Y/N - how does she-?
Sully - she wanted to know if you were stopping by to collect me so, let it happen oppa.
Y/N - right.
Scratching the back of my head, she was dressed casually from what I could tell. Given it was probably a shoot, we're probably going to quickly go through it in a dash at the building so I wouldn't blame how she was wearing a tracksuit.
Y/N - should we go?
Sully - of course, come on. We have about twenty minutes?
Y/N - yep yep.
The both of walking out to the hallway, she had suddenly brought up a topic
Sully - you look sweaty, did you run here or something?
Taking out my keys from my jacket pocket, my head turned to her, nodding
Y/N - yeah sort of, it was so sudden that I left Jinae with a friend
Sully - oh? A friend? I thought Soo-Young-unnie takes care of her?
Y/N - yeah but Seulgi was over so she took over
Sully - as in- Red Velvet's Seulgi?
Y/N - yeah of course, me and her go way back
Her face lit up in surprise as we walked down the stairs, where I just lifted an eyebrow out of confusion
Y/N - what?
Sully - you and- Seulgi-sunbaenim go way back?
Y/N - well. Yeah. we're like best friends
Sully - she's six years older than you though
Y/N - so?
Shrugging, we continued walking down the stairs, hearing a faint 'huh' from behind her
Sully - th- that's so weird-
Y/N - huh? How?
Sully - no I mean in like a small world type of thing
Y/N - my sister is Joy from Red Velvet, I think it's just more so a coincidence probably.
Sully - you got lucky that's for sure, Seulgi-sunbaenim is so cool
Y/N - eh she is, but she's not like you know her
Sully - eh? I mean you're like- close with her right?
Y/N - very, she slept over last night
Opening the car door, stepping inside. We put on our seatbelts while I started up the car and turned to her
Sully - she slept over?
Y/N - mmhm, wanted to see Jinae and me
Sully - so you're REALLLLLY close?
Y/N - I guess so. We sleep together when she sleeps over
Putting a hand over her face, I felt her hand slap my shoulder, making me question myself
Y/N - what was that for?
Keeping my voice as normal, she was just beyond shocked
Sully - with SEULGI-SUNBAENIM?
Y/N - yeah? What's wrong with that?
Sully - IT'S SEULGI
Y/N - again, we're close
Sully - you're so bold, you know that?
Y/N - and I have a five year old daughter, I'm bold as it goes
Sully - you never seem to surprise me the more I learn more about you
Getting the engine up and running, I turned my head back to the windshield
Y/N - we should start by getting to know you more
Sully - sure.
â----
Walking into the building, we were already close to the shooting room as we walked by
Y/N - okay but how do you NOT like blueberries?
Sully - I just don't like them okay, I don't like the taste neither
Y/N - but they're like raspberries but blue
Sully - that's not gonna convince me
Y/N - okay fine but what about like any other fruit?
Sully - they're all good, just not blueberries
Y/N - I'm getting you a blueberry drink next time I see you
Sully - ya!
She slaps me against my shoulder, making us both laugh
Y/N - seriously though, at least we can agree that we both are very constantly tired
Sully - yeah, I'm always holed up in my bed, you're stuck on the computer editing. We're very different nocturnal animals
Y/N - I'm in it for the job, you're just enjoying the fruits of your hard work at the end of the day
Sully - truthfully said oppa
Standing still at the door where we were supposed to be, my hand laid on it
Y/N - going in?
Sully - actually wait.
Letting go of the door, my body fully turned to her. Crossing my arms together.
Y/N - yeah what's up?
Fidgeting with her nails, she sighed loudly causing me to soften my expression
Sully - d- do you think- that being in love is a bad thing?
Y/N - that's an- odd question out of the blue. Why? Do you have someone in mind?
Sully - yeah.
Y/N - oh do so tell me.
Sully - I would- but-
Y/N - but?
Sully - we're not that close you know
Y/N - yeah but it's not like you can't trust me. If anything, The last thing I want is to betray a girl's heart
Sully - it- it's just complicated.
Y/N - very or?
Sully - I'm an idol and I just want to experience normal things. Like you and Haewon-unnie
Y/N - well, me and Haewon are a work in progress, we don't know what we are
Sully - but it's nice to experience that.
Y/N - I wouldn't blame you, you're young and still thriving. I just- don't know what to do about 'love' in the case of where I am right now, it's just complicated like you said too.
Sully - hm. I guess we're both figuring it out then?
Y/N - yeah. But it's not all too bad.
Sully - I understand.
Y/N - but who's the boy?
She suddenly faced away from me, probably thinking about him.
Sully - a- ah- no one. Ju- just thanks for that.
Y/N - wasn't much to contribute but we should have a chat about it after the shoot.
Sully - su- sure.
Y/N - if you're free, come by my place.
Sully - I- I'm free
Y/N - cool.
Uncrossing my arms, my hand laid back against the door, looking at her as we locked eyes
Y/N - let's go
Sully - y- yeah.
Who's the boy on her mind though?
â--------
Y/N - that wasn't too bad as I thought
Walking alongside her in the hallway of the apartment building I live in, I looked at her, nodding in response.
Sully - for a stand in manager, you did pretty well.
Y/N - I did everything right?
Sully - mmhm
Y/N - cool, but I am not cut out to be one that's for sure. Maybe for like one person but not an entire group I've just realised
Sully - I think since you have Jinae, you wouldn't able to sleep at all since you would travelling with the person all the time
Y/N - hm yeah, okay maybe I'll just stick to being your editor
Laughing softly, taking out my keys at the same time. Putting them in the door and took them out after unlocking it
Y/N - I don't know who's inside but we'll find out
Sully - sure I don't mind
Opening the door, I let her in first, following behind her while closing the door
Y/N - Jinae! I'm home!
Jinae - papa?!!?
Hearing her voice echo throughout the place, we both walked into the living room seeing Seung-wan-noona?
Wendy - oh, Y/N you're home.
Y/N - noona? I thought- oh right nevermind.
Now in front of Jinae and noona, Jinae had got up from her position and ran over to me to hug me.
Her small arms wrapping around my waist, where I ruffled her hair
Y/N - ahhhh, have you been a good girl?
Jinae - yeah! Me and gomo-Seung-Wan have been having fun!
Y/N - is that so?
Turning my head up to look at her, she stood up as well. Walking over to me with a big smile on her face
Wendy - how are you aegiya
Welcoming her with open arms, we hugged each other as she kissed me on the cheek
Y/N - I'm alright noona, you?
Wendy - never better, who's that beside you?
Forgetting Yoona was with me, I looked over to her. Completely still and a bit awkward
Y/N - oh, noona this is uh- Yoona?
Getting her out of her own world, she bowed deeply to noona
Sully - A- ANNYEONG uhm- sunbaenim! We met before! I'm Seol Yoon-A from NMIXX!
Wendy - oh right! Sullyoon! Sorry! It's been a long time! How are you?!
Sully - I- I'm okay s- sunbaenim
Wendy - it's alright, you don't have to be so tight. We're not idols right now
Sully - o- okay-
Wendy - just be comfortable, I'm just going to talk to Y/N really quick if you don't mind
Sully - g- go ahead
Jinae let go of me, running over to Yoona as I faced Seung-Wan-noona
Y/N - noona thanks for coming. Sorry about this
Wendy - ani it's okay, Seulgi has always something to do and I wanted to come visit again at one point
Y/N - when did she leave?
Wendy - a while ago, like- an hour or two ago?
Y/N - ah okay, she left anything behind?
Wendy - I don't think so?
Y/N - cool cool, thanks again
Wendy - no problem, do you want me to stay? You have a guest
Y/N - ani it's fine, we can all chat together. It'd be cool
Wendy - sure
Y/N - hungry?
Wendy - of course
Y/N - cool, I'll fix something up for the four of us
Wendy - actually before you do?
Y/N - yeah?
She leaned in again, kissing above my lip
Wendy - for last time remember?
Y/N - o- oh right.
Blushing a bit from that, I turned back around, facing Yoona
Y/N - I'll be in the kitchen
Sully - o- oh okay cool
Y/N - just talk to noona over here, she won't bite
Jinae - yeah unnie! Come on!
Watching Jinae hold her by the hand practically dragging her over to the couch, getting me to chuckle a bit before walking over to the kitchen.
But in my head, it was all a blur.
Listening to them faintly talk in the background while I cooked up some food, and before then.
We were all sat on the couch a few hours later,
The sun down and Jinae on my lap as I watched her play minecraft on the tv
Sully - so, sunbaenim? It's really true you're just as close to oppa like Seulgi-sunbaenim?
Wendy - ah, yeah haha. Aegiya over here is our prized secret sixth member of Red Velvet whether he likes it or not
Sully - really?
Y/N - ah don't tell her about it come on noona
Sully - about what?
Laughing to herself, I pouted a bit while stroking Jinae's hair listening to her aggressively mash on the controller while killing a skeleton
Wendy - Y/N here has actually worked on Red Velvet's music videos and has helped with production
Sully - jinjja? You never told me that oppa
Y/N - it's called a secret FOR A REASON
Wendy - come on, you deserve more than you think! From Finale onwards, he helps out with production when I ask him for help. He has a major in music production
Y/N - no I don't
Wendy - your degree is still under your bed, do think I haven't forgotten
Y/N - first, is it really a degree when I did most of it online?
Wendy - that wasn't your fault first of all, that was the pandemic's fault
Y/N - yeah yeah
Sully - you have a degree in music production oppa?
Y/N - four years, from when I graduated high school in 2019? 18? I don't remember
Wendy - 2019
Y/N - right I graduated from the university last year
Sully - there's still so much stuff I got to know
Wendy - mmhm and what's cool is that he's helped produce some of our songs too
Sully - JINJJA?!
Y/N - ah stop, it was 'some'
Wendy - he's not credited but SM has him under a sort of weird contract where if they ask him to produce mainly for Red Velvet, he's gotta do it
Y/N - it's a stupid contract
Sully - but you're in JYP now?
Y/N - two way really
Wendy - secret off the books, and is a rare case. Very. very. Rare case.
Groaning a bit from the praise, laying back against the couch where I looked at the both of them simultaneously
Y/N - it's nothing crazy though
Wendy - kind of is, you helped produce Psycho, Feel my rhythm, Queendom, and the other title tracks and some b-sides
Sully - you are genuinely amazing oppa
Y/N - nope.
Wendy - the reason you don't see any awards here or anything is because he doesn't want them so Soo-Young keeps them at her place
Sully - so why are you a video editor again oppa?
Y/N - I actually get paid you know
Wendy - we gave you the option to join SM multiple times
Y/N - too far from here you know that
Wendy - eughhhh always 'too far' or 'you're lazy to drive' come on, you love us
Poking my sides, she enjoyed teasing me as I softly smirked
Y/N - remember as well that you forgot the most important reason why I didn't take it
Wendy - hm?
Y/N - Jinae was just born remember?
Wendy - right... RIGHT.....
Ruffling Jinae's hair, she turned to us curious
Jinae - hmmmhmmh
Wendy - nothing sweetie, there's a creeper behind you
Jinae - AH!
Turning back around, Yoona tapped me on the shoulder
Y/N - yeah?
Sully - why does she call you aegiya?
Hearing that made me and noona immediately laugh to ourselves, causing noona to lean over and pat Yoona's hand that was on her lap
Wendy - inside jokes, we're really that close Yoona-ah
Sully - so, how close? Oppa won't tell me
Y/N - go ahead noona, tell her since you're on a streak of exposing me
Wendy - thank you so let me continue then. We both knew Y/N since he was a teenager? Since you were eleven? Twelve?
Y/N - Eleven
Wendy - ahaha yeah, we practically watched him grow up and we just love him. We used to come over and mess with him or Soo-Young would make him come over to our dorm just to say hi and stuff and we would just spend a bit more time than we should've
Sully - how'd you feel about that oppa?
Y/N - a little annoyed at first but they're my noonas you know, wouldn't trade it for the world. Still don't see them as idols since IF YOU REMEMBER WHEN I WAS FIFTEEN
Wendy - OKAY WE'RE NOT TELLING HER THAT!
Sully - huh? What happened?
Y/N - just- something.
Me and noona smirked at each other, slapping each other on the shoulder, exchanging funny looks.
Sully - you really keep some stuff to yourself
Y/N - again, inside stuff
Wendy - he won't acknowledge that we're idols at all, he'd just text me in the middle of recording anything and I mean ANYTHING just to annoy me or that he'll be over
Y/N - hey that was when I was still living with my parents remember?
Wendy - close really
Y/N - almost
Sully - you don't like pop at all right oppa?
Y/N - I do just, not really my cup of tea
Wendy - it's a benefit really, it's why our songs sound so different since then. He contributes towards the sound a lot
Y/N - eh, tell that to all the other producers. I just made the melodies to some stuff
Wendy - and it all worked out didn't it?
Y/N - it did
Sully - what if I convinced Sajangnim that you could produce for us?
Y/N - wouldn't work
Sully - huh? Why?
Wendy - Yoona-ah
Sully - yeah?
Wendy - you don't know this so keep it to yourself
The both of them leaning in towards each other with me in the middle where I just watched the tv instead of listening
Wendy - your Sajangnim knows about Y/N, same thing with Jin-Young-sunbaenim. Y/N himself said he doesn't want to be involved even though the pay is better
Sully - EH?!?!
Y/N - yep.
Sully - OPPA WHY NOT?!?!
Y/N - don't want to
Wendy - THAT'S WHAT I'M TELLING HIM!
Y/N - no.
Sully - no way oppa, it's so worth it though!
Y/N - one, I have Jinae, two, editor is easier than having to stress about melodies and arrangement, three, editing again is easier.
Wendy - and yet you never edited one of our music videos
Y/N - you have your own in house and i never got along with the guy
Wendy - just because your personalities clash doesn't mean you two were great collaborators
Y/N - eh. Let me be.
Wendy - fine.
Y/N - how long are you staying again?
Wendy - overnight, I'm bored and I don't have anything to do
Sully - is this a common thing between all of your members sunbaenim?
Wendy - mmhm and call me unnie, it's fine since any friend of Y/N is mine
Sully - o- oh. Ok- okay un- unnie-
Giving Yoona a thumbs up, I sighed to myself.
Wondering why I put myself in this situation.
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Sully - b- bye unnie!
Bowing goodbye at Seung-Wan-noona, Jinae waved goodbye to her as noona did too
Jinae - bye bye unnie!
Y/N - we'll be back
Putting my hands into my jacket pocket, letting one hand out to open the front door as we walked out.
Closing the door, we walked along the halls, feeling reminiscent of earlier.
Sully - sh- she's nice.
Y/N - very. She's tame like Joo-Hyun-noona
Sully - Irene-sunbaenim right?
Y/N - mmhm
Nodding, we made our way down the stairs eventually coming out of the building.
Y/N - Yerim's fine too, I think the only non tame one is my own sister
Sully - I remember that very well
Y/N - exactly, I'm sorry you had to see her like that last time. A long day at a shoot can do someone hard
Sully - I understand, I would be like that too if I had to endure that long of a shoot
Y/N - mmhm
Getting into the car, it wasn't long until we were on the road
Y/N - so, what's the plan?
Sully - for?
Y/N - next few days, we still got some time left and I think I've done my usual quota for Sajangnim so he won't be nagging me for the next few days
Sully - uhm- maybe just relax. Haewon-unnie said she'd stop by again, she's just busy with doing her own shoots too. More sudden surprise stuff
Y/N - not surprised, he puts out sudden curveballs out of nowhere. One time, he gave me about a day to edit a video for, I think, Jiwoo's vlog. Since he 'forgot' about it
Sully - yep that's Sajangnim for you.
Y/N - when did Haewon say she'll stop by again?
Sully - oh, I don't know. You should text her, or I'll text you when
Y/N - that's fine by me.
Sitting in the car for a while, a little bit of silence between us. Something had caught up in my mind
Y/N - so- earlier.
Sully - yeah?
Y/N - you said you liked someone. Who was it?
Sully - o- oh.
Glancing towards her, my eyes glued back to the road after a slight look at her.
An awkward yet shy look on her face.
Sully - ah- it's just nothing. I'm just being immature.
Y/N - it's not immature, there's nothing wrong with being in love you know
Sully - I get it, but it's so weird. To feel this way.
Y/N - I was in love too remember. I wouldn't have Jinae if I wasn't in love.
Sully - you never seem to talk about her.
Y/N - who?
Sully - Jinae's mother.
Y/N - well. It's more so because I don't think it's right to talk about her
Sully - because of her leaving?
Y/N - much more than that
Sully - I don't want to pry about that again, Miahne.
Y/N - it's fine.
Sully - bu- but. I like this person. An- and he's really nice. He's cool too
Y/N - idol?
Sully - ani.
Y/N - ah, a civilian. An NSWER?
Sully - ani.
Y/N - so a normal guy? What you meet him in a cafe or something?
Sully - not really.
Y/N - hm. Then I don't know then.
Sully - he's just- warm. Like he feels nice to be around. Like a blanket.
Y/N - damn. Good looking?
Sully - to me he is
Y/N - huh. What else do you like about him?
Sully - he's kind hearted. I admire the way he is because of his approach to life
Y/N - that's a bit odd- no offence
Sully - hehe, I wouldn't blame you. He's just unique if I had to say it
Y/N - does he make you laugh? Smile?
Sully - he does. I think about him a lot at night
Y/N - must be a lucky guy. NMIXX's very own Sullyoon is in love with him, must be a honour
Sully - I don't think he feels the same way though
Y/N - oh? You know him?
Sully - yeah.
Y/N - damn, sorry about that
Sully - ani. It's okay. Maybe one day, he could maybe see me differently
Y/N - is he a friend or something?
Sully - yeah, we're not as close but I like seeing him.
Y/N - must be rough having to balance out idol work and spare time just to see him huh?
Sully - I see him once in a while, he's just- I don't know how to explain it.
Y/N - how'd you meet him?
Sully - I met him once outside. We met in a place, I think it was a market if I remember.
Y/N - oh, I see.
Sully - I just remember him being so warm, helping out others and just- his smile.
Y/N - you're really in love damn. I would feel jealous but I'm happy for you
Sully - jealous?
Y/N - you know, hearing about it sounds nice. You remind me of when I first fell in love with Jinae's mother.
Sully - I thought you didn't want to talk about her?
Y/N - doesn't mean I hate her. I still reminisce a lot sometimes.
Sully - did it hurt a lot? When she left?
Y/N - still does.
Sully - oh.
Pulling up to the front of her apartment building, she looked out her window.
Y/N - we're here.
Sully - already?
Y/N - doesn't take that long remember
Sully - hm.
Unbuckling her seatbelt, she opened the car door, but hesitated as she turned to look at me
Sully - I had fun today oppa
Y/N - me too.
Giving her a soft smile, she gave me one back.
Sully - you get home safe okay?
Y/N - I will. I'll see you later Yoona.
Sully - you too
Y/N - oh and Yoona?
Sully - yeah?
Y/N - whoever this boy is, act quick. You never know who'll snatch him up
Nodding, she gave me a reassuring smile.
Sully - I will.
Y/N - attagirl
Closing the door and a wave to each other goodbye, I watched her enter the building before turning to the dashboard.
Rubbing it with my hand.
I wonder how she is now.