Chapter 10: Nikolai: Taking Back What’s Mine: Chapter 10

I’m grateful for my outdated apartment when I slip into the elevator moments before its doors slam shut. Although panicked about what Nikolai’s reaction will be to me ignoring his request, my hesitation doesn’t linger for long. Mr. Fletcher may have shrugged off Nikolai’s threat from last week, but a kiss on a cheek doesn’t equate a death sentence.

After taking a moment to breathe out my nerves, I scan the elevator car. Nikolai has taken control of the elevator panel. His head is hanging low, his hands fisted at his side. With Nikolai bubbling over with anger, Simon has understandably moved to the far left-hand side of the car, the fear of losing his job forcing him to surrender control to a Mafia Prince.

Jerking his chin, Simon gestures for me to join him cowering in the corner. I shake my head, denying his request. I’m rattled, but I’m not scared of Nikolai. He can shred my heart to pieces, but he would never hurt me.

My eyes stray away from Simon when Nikolai’s anger gets the better of him. He throws his fist into the elevator panel three times, the roar leaving his throat sounding like a wounded animal. Although I’m panicked he has injured himself, some good comes from his fury. The elevator doors open on the next floor, giving Simon a safe exit.

“No,” Simon mumbles under his breath, denying my suggestion he leave. He pushes his thick-rimmed glasses up his nose as his massively dilated gaze drifts to Nikolai.

“I’ll be fine,” I assure him, my voice a hushed whisper. “He won’t hurt me.” Fortunately, my tone is confident enough to ease the turmoil swirling in Simon’s green eyes.

When the elevator doors slowly chug close, I quickly add on, “I can’t make the same guarantee for you, Simon. If you don’t leave now, I won’t be held accountable for what happens next.”

Simon’s panicked eyes bounce between Nikolai and me for what feels like hours, but is mere seconds, before he scurries out the elevator door with only a second to spare. Nikolai is so engulfed by anger, he doesn’t register Simon’s exit. His focus is on one thing and one thing only—hunting down Mr. Fletcher.

After breathing out my nerves, I lean over and push the emergency stop button on the cracked elevator panel. “We need to talk.”

Nikolai’s head rockets to the side. He glares at me, his back molars grinding as erratically as my heart is smashing into my ribs. “There is only one conversation I am planning to have: one with my fists.”

Snarling at me like I’m gum under his shoe, he pushes the emergency stop button, sending the elevator back into motion.

Matching his immaturity, I lean over and once again hit the emergency button. “Try again,” I stammer out, my demand stronger than my words.

Nikolai growls before jabbing the emergency stop button so hard, the outer plastic panel crumbles under his touch. Even with the air deprived of oxygen, my insides clench from his seductive roar. Although ashamed of my body’s response, I’m not surprised by it. Even filing Nikolai and Malvina’s application to wed this afternoon didn’t loosen the hold Nikolai has over me. My heart doesn’t want to see sense, even when the evidence is the most damning it’s ever seen.

“You are being ridiculous. A man kisses me on the cheek, and you act like the earth is crumbling beneath your feet, but it’s perfectly acceptable for me to find out you’re engaged from your gushing fiancée, who is so eager to marry you, she can’t wait a few measly weeks for citizenship!”

I stare at Nikolai, waiting for him to react to my outburst. He does nothing. He remains perfectly still. His silence hurts more than his words ever could.

Fuming with heartbreaking anger, I lean over and push the emergency stop button again.

Putting his open palm on my chest, Nikolai shoves me away from him. “Enough!” he roars, his loud voice booming around the small space.

His push barely jolts me halfway across the car, but it is forceful enough for my mood to snap. I’ve been pushed around way too much the past four years; I am done being treated like I’m worthless.

I charge for Nikolai, my steps so fast, tears trickle down my cheeks. My fists pounding on his back match my heart thrashing against my ribs. Pain shoots up my arms, but I don’t hold back. I express every pain tearing me apart by pummeling his back over and over again. Maybe if he feels even ten percent of the agony his deceit put me through, he’ll have more understanding of why I acted the way I did tonight.

“I risked everything for you, and how do you repay me? By having your flash her ginormous rock in my fucking face!”

Nikolai moves so stealthily, I’m squished between him and the elevator panel before I can comprehend what is happening. He pins my arms to my side, tethering my body to him as well as his deceit strangled my heart.

“I’m risking everything for you, and how you do you repay me?” he quotes, his words as pained as his eyes look. “By letting that touch what is .” He snarls his last word in a possessive, narcissistic way.

“That’s not even close to the same thing,” I choke out through a sob, my voice surprisingly loud for how hard I’m crying. “A peck on a cheek is nothing compared to how you deceived me. You are , Nikolai. You’re getting .”

Anger overtakes my devastation when Nikolai shakes his head, denying my claims. “I saw the paperwork. Malvina filed for a marriage license Wednesday afternoon. You’re getting married on Saturday.” Heartbreak is clutching my throat so fiercely, I struggle to force out my last sentence.

“I’m not marrying Malvina,” Nikolai roars, making my heart shudder in my chest. “How many times do I have to spell it out for you? If I wanted her, I’d already fucking have her. I. Don’t. Want. Her.”

He leans into me deeper, snatching the air from my lungs. “I want you. I’ve never lied about that.” His tone dulls from an angry growl to a slight sneer. “But having you comes at a cost. One Carmichael is going to discover the hard way.”

“It was just a peck, Nikolai—”

“On a face that belongs to me. On skin that is mine. You’re not his to kiss,” Nikolai interrupts, his words growing as heated as his face. “You are , Justine.” He releases my right wrist to bang his fist on his chest as he growls, “

.”

The rawness in his eyes causes more havoc to my mind than the world’s most potent drug, stripping my insecurities as quickly as my anger. All I see in his beautiful blue irises is a little boy who had his every wish denied—over and over again. That is why he is so possessive. In his heart, he believes it will only be a matter of time before I am taken from him as well.

God—why didn’t I see this earlier? It could have saved us both days of heartache.

Nikolai’s eyes drop to my chest when my hands dart to the buttons on my blouse. His hot breath hits my cheek when I yank open the delicate fabric with so much force, buttons shoot in all directions. I slide the shimmery material off my shoulders before tugging my skirt down my thighs. I’m not the least bit worried I’m revealing bite marks on my shoulders and legs. Nikolai is the rawest he’s ever been, and now I am as well.

“Take it away. Wash it away. Do whatever you need to do to remove his scent from my skin,” I mutter, talking through the lump in my throat.

I stand across from Nikolai in nothing but a pair of panties and a skintight cami with my chest rising and falling in the same frantic rhythm as his. I’ve made myself as vulnerable to him as I can. I can’t do any more than I have. Now it is up to him. He can either continue with his quest for revenge or take back what he thinks was stolen from him.

“He needs to be punished. I warned him,” Nikolai groans, his words so rough, they sound like they were dragged through gravel before he spat them out.

“What about me? How will you punish me?” Nikolai’s eyes snap to mine, the volatility in them making what I’m about to say ten times harder. “I disrespected you more than Carmichael did, so shouldn’t I be the one suffering the consequences of our stupidity?”

“He kissed you—”

“Because I led him on,” I interrupt, my voice shaky with tears. “I wanted you to feel what I felt when you kissed Malvina. I wanted you to hurt as much as I was. . . as I still am! God, Nikolai, how can you not understand how much seeing you with her killed me? You spent the entire weekend building me up, only to stand back and watch me fall. Why would you do that? Why set out to intentionally destroy me?”

Nikolai’s eyes flare as the tick on his jaw firms. “I’m not destroying you—”

“Yes, you are,” I mumble through a sheet of tears gliding down my cheeks. “Look at me. Look at what you’ve done to me. You’ve made me so weak, I don’t even know who I am anymore.”

Nikolai takes a step back, as if my words physically stunned him. “You are not weak, . You are the strongest you’ve ever been.”

When I shake my head, he pinches my chin, forcing my eyes to align with his. “Look at how you came at me, fighting and without fear. Days ago, you wouldn’t have done that. You would have bowed your head like you did the day we met. You would have given up before you ever made it this far.”

His eyes lock with mine, ensuring I can see the truth in them as he adds on, “I’m not destroying you, Justine. We are destroying each other. . . for the better.”

I freeze as I’m bombarded with emotions. As much as our argument sliced open my chest for the world to see, what he is saying is true. Before him, I would have never had the courage to battle a man as powerful as him. I would have bowed down and accepted my fate as I did four years ago. I didn’t even fight Col’s decision. I completely froze, too scared to even speak. If it hadn’t been for Maddox, my silence would have killed me that night.

The veins in my neck twang when Nikolai’s thumb drags over the exact spot on my face Mr. Fletcher’s lips touched. His accuracy is so precise, you’d swear he can smell Mr. Fletcher’s scent on my skin.

“That’s why he wants you, Justine. He sees in you what I do.”

“He’ll never have me, Nikolai. I am not his to have,” I reply, glancing into his bleak, pained eyes. “I’m yours. I will always be yours—”

I stop talking when the most delicious pair of lips press against mine. My eyes snap shut, sending fresh tears rolling down my cheeks. These are tears of relief, not sadness.

At the request of Nikolai’s lashing tongue, I part my lips. The turmoil making my skin a sticky mess fades when my tastebuds detect the flavor of his mouth. I thought heartache was playing tricks on my mind. It wasn’t. He tastes even better than I remembered. So sweet and oh-so-manly.

Weaving my fingers through his hair, which is damp at the ends from the stifling heat in the elevator car, I slide my tongue along the roof of his mouth. Nikolai groans, his excitement as palpable as mine. I curl my legs around his waist before deepening our kiss. I’m so desperate for his lips on mine, I crave them even more than my next breath.

As our tongues duel in a fire-sparking showdown, Nikolai fiddles with the fly on his jeans. When the distinct noise of a zipper rolling down sounds through my ears, I drag my mouth away from his. Air traps in my throat when his glorious cock springs free from its tight constraint. It is thick and jutted, with a bead of moisture pooling at the tip.

I tear my eyes away from the glorious visual when the heat of Nikolai’s gaze captures my attention. He is staring at me, his gaze hot and attentive. He doesn’t speak. He doesn’t need to. His eyes relay his every intention. I am his, and he is taking back what is his.

My head falls back when he slips my panties to the side and impales me in one fervent thrust. The pain of taking a man his size without preparation is pushed aside for sheer pleasure at being the fullest I’ve ever been. It is a hard sensation to explain, painful and bittersweet at the same time.

Nikolai’s throaty growl on my neck reveals I’m not the only one overcome by the utter brilliance of our exchange. He is just as taken aback as me.

“You feel that—how well we fit? That’s because you were made for me. This greedy cunt sucking at my cock, begging to be consumed—it’s . You’re mine, Justine.

.”

He waits for me to acknowledge his assertive comment with a nod before he draws his cock out to the tip. A pleasurable tingle shoots through my womb when he rocks back into me, his second thrust as perfectly precise as his first.

He pumps into me over and over again, his grinding as uncontrolled as the husky moans rolling up my throat. He works my body with perfection, not only showcasing his impressive bedroom skills, but how in-tune he is with my body as well. The sensation is amazing, better than any sex we’ve had.

Every precise thrust of his cock drives me to the brink in a shameful amount of time. He screws my body as well as he fucks with my mind, a mind-hazing exchange that makes my heart swell as much as shatter. Even with my morals blinded by lust, I know I’m still the other woman. I may be Nikolai’s, but I’m not the only woman he has a claim to.

Seeming to sense the weakening of my resolve, Nikolai grips my nape and soundlessly commands my eyes to his. The churning of my stomach switches to waves of ecstasy when my eyes lock with his. They are laced with natural arrogance and brimming with unbridled possessiveness. He knows only he can drive me so wild I forget an entire world is striving to keep us apart. He knows I am defenseless to him.

‘Say it,’ Nikolai requests, his voice thick and husky.

When I stare at him, confused by his request, he adds a roll to his hips, confident he can destroy my hesitation with nothing but a thrust of his crotch. He is right. One touch and I’m under his spell. I’m burning up everywhere, my desire for him stronger than my morals.

I moan through the sensation zinging from my clit to my aching breasts before whimpering, “I’m yours.”

“Again,” Nikolai growls while pulling me away from the wall my sweat-drenched back is braced against.

Considering his jeans are wrapped around his knees, his strides are remarkably stable. I’m not the least bit worried he is going to drop me. He’s not just showcasing the power he has over my body; he is demonstrating his overall strength. And with every perfect thrust of his hips reflected in the mirrored walls of the elevator, it is a brilliant, pussy-clenching sight.

The way he guides my sex up and down his cock by clutching only my neck drives me wild. He fucks me without reserve, using every muscle of his body to wholly possess mine. The sexy V muscle I’ll never tire of seeing grinds into my clit while his densely veined cock dominates every inch of my quivering sex.

“Again!” Nikolai roars, displeased by my delay in responding to his demand.

His loud voice startles me so much my climax is thrust to within an inch of the finish line. I’m panting without constraint, my body heightened beyond belief.

“I’m yours,” I shout as violent waves sweep across my core, growing in intensity with every magnificent drive of his hips.

Sweat dots my forehead as the coil in my womb tightens to the point of snapping. The sensation is so frantic, it is almost painful. I’ve never been woven so tightly before; I honestly feel like I’m spiraling out of control.

“Oh, God. Please. I need more. Please,” I beg, my voice practically a scream.

“Do you feel that, ‘ Nikolai asks, throwing his hips forward, ramming his cock even further inside me. ‘Me inside you. Fucking you. Claiming you. That is all me—not God. It. Is. All. Me.’ He grinds out his last four words with his unconcealed arrogance I’ve fallen in love with. It is gruff and dominant, and it has me freefalling into orgasmic bliss.

I shout Nikolai’s name into the air as tingles race the length of my spine. I’m shuddering without hesitation, loving the sensation launching me into a quivering, blubbering mess.

“That’s it, give it to me. Scream my name for the world to hear.”

I am lost, swept away by a phenomenon the world’s most lethal substance could never replicate. The highs I experience with Nikolai are like no other: long, sweet, and utterly devastating.

Nikolai’s orgasm soon follows mine. He pumps into me another two times before the hotness of his cum lines the walls of my pussy. I moan, adoring the heat of his spawn filling every inch of me. Before our exchange in the bathroom Tuesday morning, I’d never had sex without protection, but just like Tuesday morning, today’s encounter is more significant than just an accidental slip in protection. It is tethering us closer together, making us unbreakable.

Nikolai never hid the fact he’s never had unprotected sex. He knows a man of his stature and wealth is a prime target for any woman hoping to catch a ride to easy street. He even bragged about double-bagging his cock. His smile was wiped right off his face when I informed him that double-bagging increases the chances of condom breakages.

That’s another reason Nikolai’s deceit hurt so much. We discussed so many things over the short thirty-six hours we had together, but not once did he mention he was engaged. He told me stories about his eldest brother, Rico, and his death three years ago. He even disclosed the circumstances of his mother’s suicide, but Malvina’s name never entered the conversation. Was she not there for him when he needed her? Or does Nikolai not care about her like he says? And if that is the case, why is he still engaged to her?

I grow concerned I expressed myself out loud when Nikolai says, “Everyone makes mistakes. It is only once we learn from them can we move on.”

When he places me on my feet, I lean on the glass wall of the elevator car. The coolness of the smooth material is wondrous on my overheated skin, and the sturdy surface ensure my wobbly legs keep me upright.

After tucking his half-masted cock into his jeans, Nikolai gathers my clothing from the floor. I watch in silence as he dresses me, confused and suddenly bombarded by panic. Our exchange wiped the turmoil from my eyes, whereas it seems to have increased it for Nikolai. I wouldn’t necessarily say his anger is as intense as it was when we entered the elevator, but there is a cloud over his alluring gaze. He looks worried, and if I am not entirely mistaken, spooked.

“Nikolai—”

‘Don’t,’ he interrupts, pressing his finger to my lips. ‘Not yet. I’ve got some stuff I need to sort out first; then we’ll move on to. . .

.” He waves his hand between us, making me feel the size of an ant.

‘This?’ I mimic, my voice surprisingly strong for how hard my heart is hammering.

The anger brewing in my belly dulls to a simmer when the corners of Nikolai’s mouth tug into a smirk. I glare at him, equally happy and mortified by his smile. I’m happy as his smile is genuine and shows what I’ve always known: he wants a woman strong enough to stand beside him, not three paces back. But I’m mortified he referred to our relationship as ‘this.’ If that doesn’t make me feel like the other woman, I’m not a Catholic.

“Justine,” Nikolai grumbles, drawing my focus back to him. “I swear to God, if you don’t get that look out of your eyes, we’ll never leave this elevator. You are so fucking sexy when you’re jealous.”

I try to reply that there is nothing sexy about getting jealous over another man’s fiancée, but nothing but air bubbles leave my mouth. I’m so stunned at how quickly Nikolai’s composure can switch, I’m left without a retort. Thirty minutes ago, he was close to detonating; now he’s looking at me like he didn’t just drive me to the brink mere minutes ago.

After restarting the elevator, Nikolai shifts his eyes to me. “Come here,” he demands, a jerk of his chin amplifying his request.

My body jumps to his command before my brain can cite a single objection. Even though I’m acting like a submissive imbecile, if I could go back in time, I wouldn’t change my decision. Nikolai’s grin at my obliging gesture—my God. I nearly combust a second time.

Nikolai runs the back of his fingers down my flaming cheek before dropping them to my heavy-with-need breasts. Some of the unease in his eyes clears for smugness when my nipples bud under his touch.

“Did I hurt you?” he asks, his voice as low hanging as his head.

“No,” I reply without hesitation.

I’m tempted to add on ‘not physically,’ but when he locks his eyes with mine, I leash my scornful tongue. One glance and the reason for his teetering moods smacks into me. He’s not harboring anger at my exchange with Mr. Fletcher. He’s petrified he hurt me.

Before I can voice that nothing he could ever do would cause me harm, the elevator dings, announcing its arrival at the lobby. My heart rate I’ve only just settled kicks into a mariachi beat when my quick scan of the foyer has me stumbling upon an ashen-faced Simon, a tired super, and two snarling security guards.

Snubbing the security guards’ overzealous holds of their batons, Nikolai leans in and presses a kiss to the side of my mouth. His manly scent lingers in my nose, his unique smell even more prominent since his body is misted with sweat.

‘Go upstairs; I’ll be back in a few hours.’

My eyes rocket to his. ‘Hours?’ My voice is so loud, I’m certain people three blocks over heard my shrieked word.

Pretending he hasn’t spotted the mountain load of questions pumping out of me, Nikolai steps out of the elevator. With a jerk of his chin, he demands for Simon to reconvene his position as elevator attendant. Unlike our earlier scuffle, Simon does as requested without pause for thought. He dives into the steamy, sex-scented space faster than the Flash, lurching the elevator into gear before a syllable can be fired from my mouth.

“I’ll be back,” Nikolai assures me moments before the elevator doors slide close.

I ride the fifteen floors in silence, scrambling to clear the muddled mess in my head. Did my exchange with Nikolai erase his quest for revenge on Mr. Fletcher, or did it simply dull it? Should I call Mr. Fletcher and warn him of the impending tornado set to wreak havoc in his life, or act innocent to save my tail? Does our encounter mean my affair with Nikolai is back on? And if it is, is this something I want? No one craves being the other woman, but am I so hungry for love, I’m willing to set aside my strict dating rules?

If you had asked me these questions before I met Nikolai, I would have said no way. Now. . . now I don’t know what to think. God—I truly am a different woman around him. One glance into his eyes, and I am defenseless.

He owns me.

My heart, my mind, and my body.