Kristal Anderson
"Kris, oh my goodness, my Kristal's home," I was being cradled in the arms of the woman who I considered a mother, an embrace that I was so very familiar with, an embrace that usually felt like home.
But tonight it didn't.
Something felt off.
The moment her arms wrapped around me, Uncle Greg's words circled my mind making a shiver run down my spine, sending goosebumps all over my body.
"Missed me?" I asked with a giggle, trying to ignore my body's reaction to her hands on me.
She pulled back to look at my face, "So incredibly much, I can't believe I went a whole weekend without you here, under my wing where you belong,"
It was Sunday evening, the plan was for us to wake up early in the morning and drive right back but that didn't happen. After the show Saturday night ended just a few hours before the sun rose, none of us were in the mood to get just a few hours of sleep just so we could drive back in time. So instead we postponed out departure.
We were set to leave in the afternoon but that didn't quite happen either, it was clear that none of us wanted to leave and go back to our normal lives.
Aiden and I spent the entire morning in bed, huddled up in each other's arms both of us selfishly refusing to let go of one another so much so that we had to order room service. I tried to suppress the smile that lifted my lips at the memories but failed miserably.
"Oh so you were a player?" I sat up from my position so that I was straddling him, we had been changing positions every few hours and now I had found laying on top of him like he was my own personal warm bed of muscles.
The weight of my body was right on his torso that vibrated when he let out a laugh that sounded so real, so carefree. "Far from it," His hands came to rest on my thighs that were now bare after his graphic shirt that I was wearing rose up from my movements. He was in nothing but grey sweatpants that hung low on his hips, the sight of it nearly sent me into cardiac arrest. "I was a complete loser who was trying desperately to fit in with the popular crowd,"
We had somehow landed on the topic of past relationships. I told him about mine which was very underwhelming to say the least; I had one serious relationship which was in high school so I don't even know if you could consider that serious and the rest were just a few casual hookups here and there and first dates that went nowhere.
He was telling me about the relationships he had in high school which was a number considerably higher than mine, "and those relationships were all meaningless, they were with me for status, they knew who my father was, and I was with them because that's what everyone else was doing,"
"So you've never been in love?" I asked raising a brow crossing my arms over my chest.
He shook his head, "I thought I was, with a girl I was with in college, caught her making out with one of our professor during graduation," I let out a gasp clasping a hand over my mouth, "I thought it was the end of the world back then but looking back now I just laugh, it seems so insignificant so childish and I know that if I actually loved her, that pain would never go away,"
I gave him a small smile moving to lay back on his chest, my ear pressed right where his heart resided. My smile grew brighter at the sound of his heart beat against my ear and his arms that wrapped around my back bringing me closer to him.
"That makes two of us, I've never been in love either. Quite frankly, I don't even know what that would feel like," My words interfered with the steady beat of his heart causing it to speed up. My first instinct was to ask if I'd said something wrong but his words cut me off.
"Yeah. . .me neither," His voice was low a little louder than a whisper and the hesitation behind it was clear. Like he was going to say something else but stopped himself.
I blinked to rid myself of the memories, urging myself to come back to the present, "I missed you too Aunt Jenna, I wished you were there too," She took the duffel bag off my hand leading me inside, shutting the door behind us.
"Did everything go well? Were you two safe?" She set my bag down before we settled onto the couch and took my hands in her's.
"Everything went well," I nodded, "it was so much fun, that was probably the most fun I had in a long time," I gave her hand a tight squeeze.
She smiled at me, "I'm really glad, you deserve it," Her smile faded, "I'm glad you got out, had a good time and cleared your head, but," I felt myself slowly deflate into the couch, "I don't want you to get the wrong idea, this doesn't change anything, your situation is still the same dear. Your father's still out there, looking for you and we can't take any chances,"
I stared at her and I could feel the tears coming up to the surface but I forced them back down, "I feel like I'm slowly dying inside Aunt Jenna," My voice cracked in the end and that only made a lump form in my throat making it hard to breathe, "I'm so tired of this, I'm so tired of hiding, I'm tired of having to put my life on pause because of him, he doesn't deserve to have this much control over me,"
She pulled me into a hug, "Oh my sweet girl, I'm sorry you feel that way but that's how life goes, and life has been particularly hard on you. And there's nothing we can do about it,"
I pulled back from the embrace, "But we can, we can say fuck it and continue living our normal lives, we can't give him what he wants. This is what he wants, he wants us to live in fear, h-he wants control over us," I got up from my spot, the emotions rushing through me making it impossible to stay still. "Aunt Jenna I need to live, I'm twenty-four what have I got to show for it? Absolutely fucking nothing, because I haven't been living,"
She sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose, "This is exactly why I didn't want you going to that damn show, you got a taste of what life can be like for people who are normal and now you think that you can be just like them. Kristal you're not normal, there's nothing normal about your situation and you know it,"
That crushed me, so deep that I felt it in my soul. That was all I needed for the waterworks to start falling, I practically choked on a sob that ripped through me leaving me in pieces.
"Great now I look like the bad guy," Her eyes followed me as I began pacing around the living room, searching for air that was becoming more and more scarce."You know that I'm only doing this to protect you right and youâ"
I stopped in my tracks cutting her off, "What if I don't want you to protect me anymore, wha-what if I want to live life on my terms for once?" She stared at me and I could feel the hurt in her gaze, "Why can't I do that, Aunt Jenna?"
"Because you can't!" Her voice sounded foreign to me when she raised it like that, "Because I can't lose you and I won't lose you okay, ever. Your father has taken too much from us don't let him take you too,"
I was hyperventilating, choking on air and tears that wouldn't stop falling. I needed air.
I turned around in the direction of the front door and rushed toward it, "Where do you think you're going?"
My hand gripped the door handle and I stopped and turned my head to face her, "Out, I need some fresh air,"
"You can get some in the backyard it's half past nine it's dangerous out there," Her voice was calmer now more convincing.
I sniffed and used my hand to stupidly wipe the tears that wouldn't stop coming, "I won't go far, I promise I just need to think. I need out, this house. . . it's suffocating," The last thing I saw was her gaze faltering and softening right before my eyes and then I was out the door.
I flipped up the hood of my oversized hoodie that helped tremendously in conceal my identity before I started running.
I ran to the first place that came to mind, I ran to the place I'd ran off too many times when it became too much, like right now. Everything was crumbling down around me; the possibility of me having a normal life again, of me getting a normal job and paying for my own stuff, of me going on normal dates with Aiden and him eventually coming over to formally meet Aunt Jenna. None of that would happen.
Because I wasn't normal.
I ran faster, harder. Pushed myself more and more.
Kristal you're not normal, there's nothing normal about your situation and you know it.
I clasped my hand over my mouth to muffle the sob that came from deep within.
When I reached my destination, I ran inside and didn't stop until I reached my mother's grave. Under any other circumstance, coming to the cemetery at this time wouldn't be something I'd do but tonight any and all dangers seemed completely insignificant compared to what I felt inside.
I was hyperventilating; from the physical exertion and the sobs so I knelt down right by her grave stone and I desperately tried to calm my breathing. But the tears that refused to stop make that nearly impossible.
I gave up and threw my arms around her grave stone, letting the tears flow, "Why did you leave me? Why did you leave me here all alone?" I managed to get out, "None of this would be happening if you had taken me with you," My broken sobs filled the air around me as I continued to throw questions that would continue to go unanswered.
I stayed there for a good fifteen minutes before I finally got control over myself again and I started to head back not wanting to worry Aunt Jenna.
Now that I was calmer, I was able to be more aware of my environment. The streets were pretty much empty, a few pedestrians here and there and a few hours passed by occasionally.
Walking home gave me the opportunity to think, about my situation about Aunt Jenna's words and what I truly wanted for my future.
When I looked back at my surroundings like I was doing every couple of steps, my heart nearly stopped right there and then at the sight of three masked men behind me. They had on cheap looking white masks just like the guy from the ball Aiden and I attended.
I tried to control my breathing, maybe they were just coming from a custome party. But I started speeding up my steps just in case, they kept their pace which was a good sign. Right?
Now that I was in a potential life or death situation there was not a soul in sight.
When I took a left turn and they followed my blood ran completely cold, I turned back to get a better look at them; they were all dressed pretty much the same, in black jeans, a black leather jacket, black boots and leather gloves.
One of them must've caught me staring because he said something to the other's that I couldn't quite catch, he had an accent.
I turned my head back around and when I heard them laugh I knew that I was in deep trouble.
"Hey wait up Darlin," One of them says and the others only laughed harder.
That was my cue to go. I thought that my previous running session had drained but as soon as that adrenaline hit, I was sprinting down the street like there was no tomorrow.
Darlin.
The nickname Aiden had for me. That couldn't be a coincidence, they could've chosen any other nickname and they went for that one. They knew me, they knew us, they knew that that was what he called me and you couldn't change my mind.
I glanced back to see if they were close only to realize that they weren't running at all, all they did was speed walk allowing a considerable distance to separate us.
That didn't slow me down though, I ran harder faster getting as much distance between us as possible. I turned into my street and sprinted like my life depended on it because at this point, it probably did.
I made sure to do one last glance back to see if they had reached my street yet and when they were no where in sight I rushed inside my house. I shut the door as quickly as I could and pressed my back against it, struggling to breathe.
They were barely putting in any effort to chase me down which worried me even more, they acted like they we were in no rush, like they had all day. Like they knew where to find me.
And that terrified me.
Aunt Jenna emerged from the kitchen and I rushed to hug her, tight so tight that I was probably hurting her but I didn't care. She was caught completely off guard but eventually returned the embrace.
This was a sign from the universe; I wasn't safe out there. This was my first time going out on my own in months and three masked men followed me. That couldn't be a coincidence.
Aunt Jenna was right. I was in more danger than I had previously thought and I was putting Aiden in danger by being with him.
"I'm sorry, you were right," I sobbed into her shoulder, "you're always right and I'm sorry,"
3 masked men now??? What the hell is going on here??
Thanks for coming along my loves <3
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