Chapter 34: Chapter 33

Kristal Anderson

After she was sufficiently satisfied after bombarding me with question after question, wanting to know every single detail of what happened and what was about to happen, she finally hung up

I knew that she was just worried, that she just wanted to protect me in every way she could, but on this trip I wanted to forget. I wanted to feel normal, even if it was for just a couple of days. I wanted to feel like a normal girl on a normal trip with her friends and her boyfriend. Her constant calls served as a reminder of the fact that this weekend was nothing but a fantasy and I was once again consumed by the fear that I was so used to feeling, the fear that I wanted to leave within the four walls of my room.

So as much as I loved her, as much as I was missing her on this trip, I just wish she didn't call as much.

I went back inside and resumed walking around the buffet picking up what looked appealing; some scrambled eggs, two sausages and a blueberry muffin for dessert. Soon we had our plates in front of us and we dug in, the conversation during breakfast was kept light; we spoke about the artists we were excited to see during the festival that was starting just a few hours. We all came to the consensus that all of the artists we wanted to see were performing later on in the evening, so we had some time to kill.

"Well I don't know know about you guys but I'm taking my beautiful woman out for the day," He gently threw his arm over my shoulder and pulled me against him, on our booth we were sitting side by side while Thea and Cole sat on the spot in front of us. Though I was well aware that we were well over being friends, my heart exploded hearing him say that out loud, for the world to hear. I was his. I giggled blushing like an innocent virgin who had never felt the touch of a man. "And no none of you are invited,"

"Bummer, I was dying to be the third wheel to you two lovebirds," Thea rolled her eyes, her words oozing with sarcasm.

"I know I know, maybe next time, Dora,"  During one of their games last night, Aiden started randomly calling Theadora, Dora. It was the nickname he created for her, and he was sticking with it.

"You're really going with that huh? I've given you many other suggestions,"

"Nope I'm sticking with mine, it's more unique," He said with a shrug of his shoulder.

"And alot more stupid too," She mumbled under her breath.

"Hey I heard that,"

"I'm glad you did," She giggled getting up, "I'm heading up to my room, I need to call Bran to see if he's still far,"

"You still think he's coming?" Cole intervened, letting out a scowl under his breath.

She pointed her index finger right at him, anger seeping through her veins, "Yes he is and don't you dare repeat what you said earlier; he is not ghosting me,"

"Then what is he doing?"

"You know what Cole, go fuck yourself," She turned to leave without sparing another glance at any of us.

"Come on Cole, seriously?" Aiden scolded shaking his head.  A low groan escaped his lips before he got out and left, heading in the same direction that Thea went. He turned to face me, letting out a deep sigh, "I'm really sorry about him, I promise he's bearable when he wants to be,"

I gave him a small smile reaching out to cup his face, "It's not your fault," I leaned in giving his soft lips a peck.

"Maybe I should go talk to her, apologize on his behave,"

I shook my head, "Give her some time to calm down, Thea is the type of person who needs to blow off some steam on her own," He nodded in response.

We decided to talk to her on our way back from our walk. The streets were bustling with people still and now in the daytime it was even more mesmerizing, everyone was dressed in colorful outfits most already headed to the venue. We were close to the beach so most of the outfits consisted of colorful swimwear.

"How far is the beach by feet?" I asked, we had been walking for the few minutes now, hand in hand, jumping from one topic to the next like we always did.

"I would say a good twenty minutes, why?"

I turned to look up at him, "Would you mind if we went there, we don't have to stay long I just want to see the ocean up close again,"

He stopped in his tracks forcing me to come to a halt as well because of his arm that was around my waist, "Kristal Anderson," He turned his whole body to face me, his hands coming up to cup both my cheeks his bright dimpled smile making one of it's many appearances. "my love, when will you understand that I can't say no to you, if you asked me to get naked and run around the street right now, I would do it with a smile on my face,"

I rested a hand on his chest for support as deep raw laugher erupted from within me,  "Tempting but no," I managed to get out when the laughter died down a little, "no one gets to see you like that, only me,"

He raised a brow at me, "Oh? Getting possessive are we, Darlin?"

I looked him dead in the eye wanting him to know that I meant it, "Very,"

His bottom lip disappeared into his mouth as he bit it, "Good, because the feelings mutual," His voice was thick with that same level of rawness and desire from last night, his lips came crashing down on mine blessing me with the most earth-shattering kiss like always.

The ocean was as beautiful as I remembered, the sound of the waves just as relaxing. There were a couple of people around but they were scattered pretty far apart from one another so when we settled into our spot on a beach towel that Aiden had bought on our way here, it sort of felt like our own private beach.

He sat with his legs apart and I settled in between them, my back against his chest, his arms wrapped around me. We stared out into the sea, the waves crashing into each other providing the most soothing melody to ever exist. Though the sun was hidden in the clouds today, it's warmth was still felt by the earth below it.

"This is one of my favorite places you know," I said in a low hum, our fingers were intertwined resting on my abdomen.

"Oh yeah?"

"Yeah," I smiled at the memory, "When I was younger, my parents and I would always take a trip to the beach at least twice a year. My mother loved the beach so if it were up to her it would have been more frequently but because of how much my father worked that wasn't possible. Those trips are the best memories I have with my parents but as their marriage deteriorated right before their eyes, those trips became less and less frequent,"

I took a second to breathe, talking about my parents was always such a difficult thing to do, it always brought such a heaviness to my chest. Aiden being the angel that he was, sensed my discomfort and planted a kiss on the top of my head. Strangely enough, that calmed me.

I ran my thumb in circles on the back of his hand as a way to relief some tension from my body. I knew that I was about to unravel a whole new part of me right before his very eyes, and I knew that after I peeled that layer back there was no going back.

But that didn't stop me.

I wanted to peel back the curtain and reveal to him the rawest version of myself.

So I began, "The day my mother died, she took a piece of me with her," The vivid memory of that day started to play right before my very eyes and I continued...

F L A S H B A C K

Kristal Anderson

Age 9

My mommy and daddy had been fighting a lot lately, mommy told me that they were going to work things out and things would be back to normal soon.

I believed her.

My mommy would never lie to me.

But I didn't like to see her sad so today at school during my art class, I asked my teacher for help making a paper flower. She was always nice to me so she gladly helped.

So when the bus stopped in front of my house I was quick to jump out and rush inside with the white paper flower in hand.

"Mommy, I'm home!" I looked around, usually she would have already been at the door, embracing me in a tight hug and asking how my day was. But she never came."Mommy?" I walked deeper into the house in search of her.

The house was completely silence, like there was no one around. In that moment fear was starting to take over me, I was about to turn back and walk back out the door and head to Aunt Jenna's, I had never been left home all alone. But something told me to push  through, I was always taught to be brave.

I turned to enter the kitchen which was my Mommy's favorite place in the house, "Mommy are you the–"  I screamed.

I screamed so very loud and dropped the paper flower that I had in my hand.

I screamed again. And again and again.

Both of my parents laid on the kitchen floor, they laid in so much blood.

My father's hand had a loose grip on the handle of a gun.

I screamed again completely frozen where I stood.

I couldn't stop screaming, it was like my body was stuck in that moment and I couldn't break myself out of that spell.

My throat hurt from all the screaming but I didn't stop. I couldn't stop.

I don't know how long it was before I was picked up and cradled by none other than our neighbor and my mother's best friend, Aunt Jenna.

That's when the screaming stopped and the world went completely quiet.

P R E S E N T  D A Y

"I didn't speak for days after it happened, all I could see was the two of them in a pool of blood–" I choked out another sob, everything still felt so real to me all those years later, "and all I could hear was my screams," I kept my gaze fixed on the waves because God knows I wouldn't be able to face him in that moment, "it took me a few weeks to finally get the courage to ask Aunt Jenna what truly happened; my parents got into a fight it was bad like really bad, it got physical and my father took it a step further he took her life. He attempted to take his own life as well but he was unsuccessful," Another sob ripped it's way through me. "I still find myself wondering if I had gotten home five, ten minutes earlier maybe I could have prevented it, maybe I could have de-escalated things,"

"Kris no, I won't let you do that to yourself, I won't let you blame your younger self for something that was completely out of your control. You were a child baby, there was nothing you could've done and there was nothing you should've been doing,"

"But I still could've tried to–"

"There are no buts in this situation, you were a child you needed to be protected not coming up with ways to keep your parents from fighting. Kris, when I look at you now I see the strongest woman I've ever met, I see a woman who life was nothing but unfair to and yet you're still here and I know for a fact that that Kristal from fifteen years ago would look at you now and be so incredibly proud of where you are. So why not do the same for her? Why look back at that Kristal, that little girl and blame her when she wouldn't do the same to you?"

It was like something finally clicked into place in my brain. I had never thought about any of this from that perspective.

I peeled myself away from him and turned my entire body to face him, needing to make sure he was real and not some robot or hallucination of mine. I looked up at him, taking in every detail of him wondering how he managed to be so. . . perfect.

I threw myself at him and let the tears flow, I cried for me, for that little girl that had so much taken away from her in the blink of an eye and I cried for my mother.

And he held me right through it all.

He was patient with me.

He held me until the tears had dried up and there was nothing else to cry about.

Slowly he began to move the conversation along again, keeping the topics all very light as I slowly recovered from the breakdown I had. He even managed to make me chuckle a couple of times.

Now I sat with my my knees up watching him as he jogged barefoot on the sand to a street vendor with a cart full of what looked to be handmade jewelry.

When he got back to me he sat back down on his spot behind me, "What were you buying?"

"Lift up your hair and find out, Darlin," I whipped my head back to look at him, suspension written all over my face but I obliged. Lifting up all of my hair before he moved slowly bringing a pendant forward and putting it on me.

Once it was on I looked and realized that it was a seashell pendant, a scallop shell with the most perfect blend of white and peach. It was the most beautiful piece of jewelry I'd ever seen.

I reached in and took the small seashell into my grasp, my thumb running over the rippled surface as I turned back to face him smiling like an absolute fool, "Aiden this is beautiful, you didn't have to,"

He grinned, "I know I didn't; I wanted to,"

I looked between him and the pendant, "But why?"

"Because the beach has officially become one of my favorite places too," He smiled brighter, "this is the place where you finally broke down your walls and allowed me to come inside, you allowed me to see every vulnerable part of you and in this place we conquered a misbelief you had about yourself, and that's what this pendant symbolizes," All I could do was stare.

How could a man be so damn perfect?

Forgot to mention this in the last chapter but thank you so much for 2k reads ahhh it seems like it was just yesterday that my book had just 1 read(a read that belonged to me lol).

Thank you so much for your support<3

Love,

J