She takes in my words, her eyes pouring into mine. âI donât want to be taken care of.â
Her honesty stings, but I have to remember that sheâs a few years older than me and has been doing this life thing by herself for a while.
âI donât want my parentsâ help. I donât want your help. I donât want anyoneâs help. I just want to figure my shit out and cause the least amount of problems possible along the way. I will only bring you trouble . . . itâs what I do. Itâs who I am. Iâm not saying this to be dramaticâIâm serious, Landon.â
She looks at me, her eyes begging me to listen. To really listen. âI carry too much baggage, and Iâm not looking for a knight in shining armor to rescue me.â
I donât know what to say. I donât know how to fix this, or if she even needs to be fixed.
Iâm not used to not being needed. Iâve always been the fixer. Who I am without that role?
I donât know.
âI know, princess,â I say, trying to add a little humor, break some of this tension I donât know what to do with.
âEew.â She makes a face of pure disgust. âIâm no princess.â
âWhat are you, then?â I ask her, genuinely wondering how she views herself.
âA human.â
Thereâs more to her words than sarcasm.
âIâm no damsel in distress, no princess. Iâm a woman who is human in every sense of the word.â
My eyes meet hers and she hugs me again.
âCan we just stand like this for a few seconds? Can you just hold me for a few seconds so I can memorize how it feels?â
I hate that her words sound so ominous, like sheâs saying more than goodbye.
I donât respond. I just hold her in my arms until she lets go a few seconds later.
âI wish you would tell me whatâs going on,â I finally say when she pulls away.
Her eyes donât meet mine when she says, âSo do I.â
Nora stands up straight and opens her eyes wide. âOkay. Letâs decorate this cake and give Ellen the best birthday of her life.â
The change in her demeanor is immediate and total. It worries me how quickly she can shut down and change the subject.
I want more from Nora. I want answers. I want to know the magnitude of her problems so I can offer a solution. I want to hold her in my arms until she believes that Iâll be here for her. I want to kiss her pain away and make her laugh until she forgets why she keeps herself hidden from me. I want her to know that I see her, even though she doesnât want me to.
I want so many things, but I canât want them alone . . . she has to want them, too. But I give her the response she seems to need right now and plaster a fake smile on my face.
âLetâs.â I raise my hand to high-five her and she cracks a smile.
She lifts her hand to mine and smacks it. âYouâre the corniest person I know,â she says, opening the bathroom door.
I follow behind her. âIâm fine with that.â
And just like that, weâre âfriendsâ again.
Tessa and Lila are still in the living room when we walk down the hallway together. Lila is still entranced by her car and Tessa is sitting cross-legged on the couch, watching the little girl with a big smile on her face.
Tessa looks at me, then at Nora, then back to me. Her face doesnât hide her curiosity or he