Chapter 111: Chapter 5

COLE

On Saturday morning, Rosalie is smiling from ear to ear. Her smile is contagious, and my lip ticks up.

“Why are you so happy?”

“I met my mate last night.”

I’m honestly happy for her, but fuck, why can’t I find mine.

“I’m sorry, Cole. I don’t mean to upset you.”

Damn, I’m taking away from her joy.

“You’re not. I’m happy for you, I really am. I assume he’s not from around here and you’ll be leaving?”

“Yes. He’s going back tonight. I’ll be gone by next weekend.”

“Why the wait? If it were me, I’d drag my mate back with me today.”

“Finals are this week. My last class is on Thursday. I’m going to leave right after I’m finished. I’ll be packing all week, when I’m not studying. I’m not even staying for graduation.”

I get solemn as I wish with every desperate cell in my body that I can find my mate. Goddess, please. If you care about me at all, please let me find her.

“I’ll still run with you though.”

I give her a half-hearted smile. I’m not really in the mood to train so I take my frustration out on a bag.

Everyone but me. Even assholes like Gregory Smith get mates, why not me? What did I ever do to piss off the Goddess so much as to keep me from finding my mate?

I doubt anyone in the history of the world has searched as hard and as desperately as I have. I knock the bag to the ground then hang a new one.

The bag is doing nothing for me and the guards keep watching me. I say fuck it and decide to let my wolf take over for a while.

I don’t even bother stripping down. I tear through my clothes as I sprint through the trees. Hours pass and the light fades away.

I don’t know where I am. Honestly, I don’t care. Wolves can’t cry, but we can sure feel heartache and anguish.

I howl my pain to the heartless moon then shift and weep on the forest floor. I’ve only cried twice in my life.

When Grammy Louisa and Grampy Edgar died. Even then, I wasn’t so downtrodden that I couldn’t express my pain.

My body trembles and shakes from my uncontrollable sobs. I’m so alone. I’m so empty.

I feel like my soul is a lost, scared pup. I just want to feel loved, like I’m not a mistake.

I don’t know why I’m here, why I was even born in the first place. Am I just some toy for the Goddess’s entertainment?

Am I meant to amuse her? I’m sure she’s laughing at me right now, laughing that I’m so weak that I’ve fallen to the ground in tears.

A bright light shines before me then disappears as Dara sits cross-legged on the forest floor wearing a white summer dress.

She runs her fingers through my hair. I pull her to me and kiss her with all the emotion I have within me. Her arms wrap around me as she kisses me back.

My hands roam over her delicate body; her waist, her hips, her breasts. She’s enthralled by my touch and her breath gets heavy, deeper.

Her leg wraps around my calf. I pull her dress up to reveal her naked body. The scent of her arousal flavors the air around us and I can practically taste her on my tongue.

My cock awakens, ready to dip into the dripping nectar of her swollen pussy. I kiss her jawline, then sniff her neck.

I nibble at the delicate flesh that smells nothing like magnolias. I move lower to her breasts and she hisses as I take her perky nipples in my mouth one by one.

“Do you want me, Dara? I’ll give myself to you. I’m tired of feeling alone.”

She stops all movement and tears pool in her eyes. She holds my cheeks in her hands as she looks into my face.

“You are meant for another, Colton. I am sorry.”

She pulls herself out from under me and sits up, pulling her dress back down. I hang my head, defeated once more, and sniff as my heart sinks yet again.

“Do you love me, Dara?” I ask, barely audible.

“You do not love me, Colton. If I were to be your first right now, you would regret it. If we were together, eventually you would forget all about me and leave me to be with her. You cannot deny the mate bond.”

She reaches out and gently combs through my hair as she shushes me. “She does not laugh at you. She loves you dearly. You are not a mistake. You are one of her favorites, and mine.”

My chest fills with warmth and I sob all over again. This time, my head is in Dara’s lap with my arms wrapped around her waist as she continually runs her fingers through my hair to comfort me.

I wake up with the sun alone, but not as sorrowful. I’m grateful for my visitor last night. Dara is right. I would regret it if we had had sex.

Her words brought me comfort and I’m not as bitter at the Moon Goddess. I feel for her. I know she’s as lonely as I am, more even.

I can’t imagine the heartache she feels, knowing the one she loves is destined to love someone else. She is not destined to have a mate.

She can choose to give her heart away, but at the chance of losing it completely if given to the wrong person. I understand her.

She knows I would break her heart when I do find my mate, which she’s sure of. My sorrow for her is greater than my own.

“I’m so sorry, my lady. I pray that a true love finds you.” I stretch my arms and legs, then shift into my wolf to search for my trail.

I traveled so far that I have to chase down a wild rabbit to satiate my hunger, and it’s nightfall when I return to the cabin.

I take a long, hot shower, then fall straight to sleep in the comfort of a bed.

“Where were you yesterday? I was worried. Did I upset you?” Rosalie asks me as we begin our morning run.

“You didn’t upset me. I was fighting my own demons. I just let my wolf out and went for a long run. I didn’t get back until last night.”

I don’t offer any more details.

“That’s a hell of a run. You must’ve been in another state at that point. I’m glad you’re all right.”

“Thanks.”

Her presence has been comforting since being here. She’s really the only one in this pack that I actually talk to.

“I’m going to miss you when you leave.”

She chuckles.

“It’s not like you’re staying here forever either. You’ll go back home eventually.”

“True,” I mumble in agreement.

Although I do like the woods here, I really don’t like the guys in this pack. I’ve been working with mostly the females lately. I’ll be glad to go back home.

“Is your pack all right with you being gone for so long?”

My pack. I’m an alpha, but I don’t have a pack of my own. I don’t know that I ever will. Unless my dad places me in charge of a pack, or I take over one.

I’m a packless alpha. My beta is that in name alone. My pack belongs to my father.

“My pack is in good hands.”

“I have a question that’s been really bothering me. I’ve asked both Alphas Smith in the past, but they didn’t have an answer.”

I hum and she continues. “My best friend is human, but I swear to the Goddess she’s a wolf.”

“What?” I’ve never heard of anything like that. “What does that even mean?” I ask more calmly.

“Well, I met her at school, we’ve been friends since freshman year. She’s completely human, right, but she has a better sense of smell and hearing. I can whisper to her from across the room and she’ll hear me, but humans can’t do that.”

That is weird, but that doesn’t mean…

“I know what you’re thinking.” She cuts me off. “That’s only one part. Here’s the kicker, her brother is my mate. He left home at fifteen and joined a pack when he was seventeen. She’s shown me pictures of the pack house and everything.”

“Her brother is a wolf, but she isn’t?” I question.

“She has to be a wolf, right? My mate and I couldn’t say anything because even he treats her like a human.”

I knit my brows. This is completely out of my knowledge zone, and I grew up studying ancient tomes. “I don’t know, maybe he’s a half breed and they share a human mom. If he ran away it was likely to keep his secret from her.”

“I don’t think so,” Rosalie contradicts. “She says her mom is crazy and her dad is in and out of the picture, but they have the same parents. He is most definitely not a half breed.”

“Where is your mate? I’ll need to visit his pack to talk to him.”

“You can do that? Just go to any pack?”

I side glance her. I almost forget she doesn’t know who I am. “I can.”

“He’s in the James Pack.”

I stop and grab her shoulder to make her look at me. “What is your mate’s name?”

“Ethan Richardson,” she answers with a concerned look on her face.

“Ethan is her brother? He’s never mentioned a sister.” I like Ethan; he’s a great friend of mine. We train together all the time. I can’t believe he was here and I missed it.

“You know him?” Rosalie asks, but my attention is still on Ethan. How has he never once mentioned a sister?

“He’s in my pack,” I mumble in response. Why wouldn’t my parents have known about her?

She gasps. “You’re Alpha Colton James, the alpha prince.”

Shit. I look into her eyes. She automatically looks away. I lift her chin to let her know it’s okay. “Don’t say anything about who I am, Rosalie. Please. Where can I find your friend? I’ll need to figure this out.”

“We have finals all week, but she’s planning on going to a club on Friday night with our friend Janine. Janine actually is human.” She gives me the perfect opportunity.

“Tell me the name of the club. I’ll drop in and check her out. I’ll find out all I can and get back to you back home. What does Ethan say about it?”

Rosalie shakes her head. “I haven’t really asked. She was around us the entire time he was here, so I couldn’t say anything. Thank you, Alpha James.”

I cock my brow at her and she bashfully corrects herself. “Cole.” I nod, and we remain quiet the rest of our run.

I don’t want to hope, but my instincts are telling me that this girl is the one I’ve been searching for. The one that would not be obvious.

My mother wouldn’t see her if she’s my mate, and my dad wouldn’t have a connection if she has no wolf. A wolfless wolf.

It certainly explains a lot, but how the hell does a wolf not have a wolf?