Chapter 4: Now You’re Mine: Chapter 4

The dream-like state between sleeping and being awake is one of my favorite experiences. It’s a small moment in time where my worries haven’t plagued me and there’s nothing except complete serenity. It’s like a warm cocoon protecting me from the rest of the world.

As I slowly drift into wakefulness, that comfort threatens to slip away. I cling to it, trying to remain in this tranquil state for a little longer, but awareness creeps in. An unfamiliar weight draped over my side has my eyes fluttering open.

I scan the room, immediately noting it’s Hayden’s. Then memories from last night return to me in a rush. The pearls and his lies. The revealed truth and my tears.

Except I don’t remember how I ended up in his bed.

My entire body tingles with alarm. I turn my head slightly and freeze. Hayden is curled against me with his arm wrapped around my waist, his face nuzzled into the curve of my shoulder. His breath whispers across my skin, warm and steady. Our legs are tangled underneath the sheets, and my flesh burns wherever his bare skin touches mine. Considering he’s naked, I feel like I’m on fire.

Ignoring my body’s reaction to his proximity, I stare at him. I’ve never seen Hayden this way, and I commit it to memory, unable to help myself. His features are smoothed by repose, his face lacking the harsh lines around his mouth, eyes, and forehead that give him a severe countenance. As well as a callous one.

This unguarded expression makes him appear approachable instead of aloof.

Lovable instead of hateful.

My heart stutters painfully in my chest. I know I should leave—not just his bed, but this entire relationship. Yet there’s a part of me, a very foolish one, that wants this thing between us to work out.

My eyes drift shut as I’m lulled by his steady breathing and the warmth of his body pressed against mine. It doesn’t take any effort to ignore my problems and concentrate on the man holding me in his arms as though he’s afraid to lose me.

If he hasn’t already…

I think back on our fight and shiver at the coldness that radiated from Hayden while he looked me in the eyes and admitted to being my stalker. Instead of apologizing and seeking forgiveness, he used my safety to justify his actions.

The brief moment of tranquility in his embrace fades with the rising of the sun. I turn back around, my fingers curling into fists around the sheets. Resentment wars with affection inside me until I think I might implode.

As if sensing my turmoil, Hayden stirs. He nuzzles my shoulder and murmurs something I can’t make out… except for a single word.

Baby.

My eyes sting with unshed tears, and the lump forming in my throat makes it difficult to breathe. I focus on keeping my shit together by pulling air into my lungs and blowing it back out slowly. He obliterates my efforts by tightening his arm around my waist, a contented sigh leaving his lips.

I’m trapped, pinned beneath him and under the weight of his betrayal. Not to mention my own shattered illusions of love and happiness.

Hayden’s breath skims the curve of my neck, right before his entire frame goes rigid. He lifts his head, and I can feel his gaze sweeping over me. It’s like a physical caress. I grit my teeth to remain unmoving, not wanting to show any reaction to him.

“Calista?” Threads of uncertainty underlie his tone despite the gruffness of sleep coating his voice. “Are you awake?”

I nod, not trusting myself to speak but knowing that if I ignore Hayden, I’ll invite more issues into an already tenuous situation. There’s no reason to play games with a man who refuses to obey the rules.

“Look at me.” It’s not a request. With Hayden, it rarely is.

“No,” I say.

I unclench the sheets to slap a hand against his arm with the intention to shove him away. The second my palm makes contact with his forearm, Hayden moves. From one blink to the next, he flips me onto my back and then positions himself above me, his knees flanking my hips and his hands encircling my wrists on either side of my head.

The breath stills in my lungs at the feel of his body pressed to mine and because of the look on his face. I stare up at him, unsurprised by the anger I find there. It’s the brief flicker of panic that I can’t readily dismiss.

Hayden is quiet for a long while. When he speaks again, his voice is controlled, his expression stoic once more. “Calista, we need to talk.”

I avert my gaze, both unwilling and unable to meet his.

“Just listen to me,” he says, his fingers tightening on my wrists. “The drug someone gave you is the same one that was found in Kristen Hall’s bloodstream, as well as the one that caused my mother’s death. They’re not individual cases like I originally thought. All of these events are connected.”

My eyes dart to his as fear turns my blood to ice. I search his face for any signs of ambivalence, but there are none. When I open my mouth to respond with a weak denial, nothing comes out. Tears well up and spill down my temples.

Hayden makes a low, anguished sound before releasing one of my wrists to wipe away my tears. The show of tenderness only causes them to flow all the more. I squeeze my eyes shut against the swell of emotions threatening to drown me.

“This drug came from somewhere,” he says, “and I won’t stop until I uncover the creator, the manufacturer, and the distributors. All of this could be the key to closing these cases, or it could lead nowhere. Either way, I’ll find out. I promise they won’t get away with it.”

Despite his aggressive tone, he grazes the inside of my wrist with gentle strokes of his thumb. I hold back a wince. Hayden’s touch soothes my wounds even as he inflicts new ones with his nearness.

“Shh, Callie. It’s all right.”

He leans down to kiss my damp skin. The contact nearly undoes me. I stiffen at the feel of his lips, squeezing my eyes shut. The uncharacteristic show of affection warms my heart. Traitorous piece of shit.

“Don’t worry,” he whispers, his breath skimming my mouth. He places a kiss on my eyelids, one, then the other. “We’ll get through this.”

I let out a shaky exhale, comforted by his strength and confidence despite everything he’s done. The pain isn’t gone and my worries extend beyond this new information, but there’s too much unresolved between us for me to think clearly.

“I need to leave,” I say, finally gathering the courage to look at him.

He shakes his head.

“What do you want?”

“So many things, but I’ll start with a promise from you.”

I frown. “What do you mean?”

“I want you to promise not to run away. I know you think I’m—”

“You don’t know anything,” I say, my voice rising in volume. “I trusted you, and you lied to me, Hayden.”

“To keep you alive!” His shout echoes in the bedroom, startling me into silence. “Don’t you get it? If I lose you, Callie, I won’t fucking survive it.”

His outburst hangs in the air between us, raw and full of anguish. I stare up at him, watching the torment illuminate his eyes, turning them into gems. He drags a hand over his face and blows out a harsh breath.

“You’re right,” he says. “I don’t know a damn thing anymore, not when it comes to you.”

“Hayden, I…”

He slides his hand through my hair to grip the nape of my neck. With a firm jerk, he tilts my head back, forcing me to meet his gaze. “You’re not leaving this bed until you agree to let me keep you safe,” he says. “You can hate me, but you’ll give me what I want.”

I press my lips together, unwilling to commit to anything without thinking it through. Not running means having to be near him every day, and, to an extent, trusting him not to hurt me further. That’s a significant promise to make.

And risk to take.

Hayden releases my wrists to caress my hip. My thoughts slip away like grains of sand in an ocean wave. I blink several times to regain my focus while he looks down at me, his eyes glinting with determination and desire.

Persuasion through seduction.

Is there anything deadlier?

I want to arch into his touch, to melt into him until I forget his deception and there’s nothing between us except pleasure. It takes every ounce of willpower I have to stay still, but that doesn’t stop my body from reacting to him. Heat ignites wherever his fingers graze my skin. My breathing hitches, and my breasts get heavy, my nipples hardening, begging for his mouth.

His need for my submission is written all over his face, in every bit of tension lining his body. He shifts above me to dip his hand between my thighs. My breath leaves me in a rush at the feel of his thumb brushing my clit through my panties.

He lowers his head to nip at my earlobe before running his tongue along the shell of my ear. “I’ll wait as long as it takes.”

I place my hands on his chest, and the muscles underneath twitch at my touch. He’s just as affected by me as I am by him. This isn’t a revelation, but it does empower me.

“I want something first,” I say.

He lifts his head, his brow furrowing in skepticism. “You’re in no position to negotiate. Unless you’re using your body as collateral?”

He yanks the crotch of my panties to the side and thrusts two fingers in me. A moan slips from me, filling the space between us. I dig my nails into his chest to keep from lifting my hips and taking him deeper.

The side of Hayden’s mouth lifts into a smirk. “Miss Green, would you care to explain how I was able to easily slide my fingers into this tight pussy of yours?”

I shake my head.

“It’s because you’re so fucking wet,” he says. “You might think you hate me, but your body tells me otherwise.”

“Hayden.” My voice is breathy, lacking the conviction I need when dealing with this man. “Don’t.”

“Don’t what?” He curls his fingers, causing pleasure to skitter through me. “Don’t… stop? Tell me what you want, Callie.”

He begins to stroke me. My pride battles my passion. I soften underneath him, and a whimper dances on my tongue. I know the second he hears it. His movements increase in speed, with so much force that they lift my hips.

“Promise me,” he says.

“I want something too.”

“This isn’t enough for you?” He inserts a third finger inside me, stretching me. When I gasp from the pleasure of it, he smiles. “Maybe you want my cock instead?”

“No,” I lie. “I want you to pay for my education when I go back to college.”

“Done.”

I slam my thighs closed, but it doesn’t stop him. If anything, he’s rougher, more insistent on making me come. “I want a full ride, Hayden.”

He smirks at me. “Absolutely.”

A groan leaves me at his innuendo. I don’t have the strength to fight him on this while he’s fucking me with his fingers. “To Columbia.” When he nods, I choke out, “Okay, I promise.”

His eyes blaze with triumph and hunger. He slams his mouth to mine in a searing kiss as his fingers relentlessly drive me towards the edge. Rational thought is long gone, replaced by Hayden and my need for him. My orgasm hits me after I surrender to my body’s demands, and I shatter in his arms. He holds me close, watching me with an intensity that borders on manic.

“Never argue with an attorney. You won’t win.”