Zhan's pov
"I am sorry, we tried our best."
The doctor said as he gave my shoulder a tap and walked away, I was left behind broken and devastated in the hospital corridor.
I couldn't even stand anymore, my legs gave out and I fell to the ground.
"Zhan," Yibo called my name but I shut him out, I couldn't hear anything, and I couldn't understand anything, my world had just crashed, and everything was destroyed.
I felt strong arms wrap around me, I was engulfed in a strong hug but I felt empty and cold.
My mother was fine in the morning, she was smiling, giving me gifts, we hugged and she kissed my cheeks, everything was fine, perfect then how come.... why did things turn out this way.
Why.
I felt something warm on my cheeks before I finally broke, without even realizing I let out a blood-curdling scream as I held on to Yibo and cried and cried and cried.
Yibo hugged me tightly as if I would die if he let me go and I held him back and I never wanted to let go.
~~
My father was devastated too, he was shattered, and he didn't take my mother's loss well, when he saw her dead body he cried and clung to her like a child.
After that he became quiet we barely talked to each other, Yibo's family helped us, he was my rock.
I saw my mother's casket being lowered to the ground while we stood in the graveyard and Yibo stood beside me, I had no tears left anymore, I had become numb.
My father was in a worse state than me, he looked like death.
I stood in front of my mother's grave for hours and Yibo was right beside me, he didn't say anything to me he didn't rush me, he gave me time, and finally when I was ready to go he held my hand and slowly I left the graveyard.
Nothing was the same after that.
My father started drinking.
The house became hell.
My father and I barely talked.
There were no more fights only the sounds of crying from my father's room.
~~
"Zhan I know that it is hard, but please hang on till graduation." Yibo said, "I will help you study."
"I want to drop off, what's the use of studying when I don't want to attend college?" I replied.
Currently, we were sitting in my room, I hadn't gone to school for a week and Yibo had come here to persuade me to come back, but honestly, I don't even know what I am doing with my life anymore.
Just don't see a point in anything anymore, I have no motivation, dreams anything I am just tired.
"Zhan only a few days are left.... please..."
Yibo pleaded, he had been my rock through this entire fiasco, he held me while I cried, he made sure to feed me, he made sure that I didn't hurt myself, he didn't leave me alone this entire time and I was grateful for that.
In the end, he was there for me, and despite me being so awful to him, he did not give up on me.
"Zhan." My father said and we both looked at him, "Can we talk?"
Yibo got up slowly and gave me a smile before he left the room.
My dad walked towards me and sat on the edge of the bed, he looked terrible.
"I am sorry, for not being around lately, when you needed me the most I drowned in my sorrow and neglected you, I shouldn't have done that."
I said nothing, this is the first time after my mother's death, that my dad has come to my room and is talking to me, I am not mad at him, I know that it is hard for him.
I knew that he blamed himself for what happened to Mom, I heard him talking to his friend, he was mad at himself for being so weak and helpless, it was because he was a useless husband that his wife had to work and now he lost her.
"It's alright Dad." I said, "You are suffering too."
He gently held my hand and said, "Your mother wanted to see you go to college, and become a successful person, now I know you might have different thoughts regarding that and I am not going to push you, however, I want you to at least complete your graduation.
It was her dream and mine too, I know it's hard for you, but Zhan please don't drop out of school, education is important, that's all I am going to ask of you now."
"If I promise to continue my education then do you promise that you will stop drinking?"
My father smiled and nodded, "Sure."
~~
Yibo tried his best to help me with my studies and my father went back to work.
My father and I talked a lot these past few days and the two of us together cleaned the house, we threw all the alcohol bottles outside and arranged my mother's things, anything that belonged to her was never thrown out.
The tiffin and shoes that she gave me were my new treasure now.
Nothing was okay though, at night it was still hard to sleep as I felt the emptiness in my chest, and I knew my father still cried every night while watching my mother's photo.
The nights were gloomy in this house, and the mornings were depressing, but now I was determined to push forward. I had lost my mother, I regretted not telling her how much I loved her and cherished her.
I hated myself for not spending time with her, I hated myself for not appreciating her enough, and I hated myself for not thanking her enough.
But I will not make the same mistake with my father, I am going to work hard and earn money, so much money that my father would never have to work, I would provide him the best life, the best house, the best healthcare everything.
With that thought I decided to study at night, it was better to drown myself in studies till my brain became exhausted.