Zhan's pov
I sat alone during lunch, doing nothing. I just stared out the window. Before I used to sit with Yibo, but since we grew distant that also stopped.
I drove him away, I didn't want to share food with him anymore, not after hearing backhanded comments from my classmates about how I was a charity case and how pure and big person Yibo was. How I was a leech, how I was just wasting resources and I had no future. How I should be Yibo's slave and he would be my master.
It became even worse when some of them started treating me like a beggar giving me their used clothes and whatnot.
I hated that.
I hated being looked down upon.
I hated being laughed at.
I hated this life.
Yibo fought for me a lot but that slowly made him isolated and I didn't want that, I never wanted him to be isolated or be hated by other classmates just because of me, he was a popular guy and people wanted to be his friends and he deserved good friends as well.
But it also hurt loose him.
My heart ached because of the loss.
Yibo was not just a friend, he was a very important person to me and I felt empty just by the thought of losing him.
And since I distanced myself from him, people surrounded him. I looked around and saw Yibo sitting with other people, they were laughing and chatting sharing jokes and that's how life should be instead of worrying about your next meal.
I took my phone to watch something on it but I kept it back inside my pocket when I saw the shattered screen.
I sighed what was I doing with life? Why was I even here at school when I wouldn't even go to college?
My parents have big dreams for me, but how will I ever fulfill them?
It sucks being useless and helpless. It hurts to see my mother cry every day because of money, it pained my heart to see my father who has back issues and is always in pain and still go to work. Poverty is the worst disease, it makes you worried very for the smallest thing, even before spending a penny on myself I have to think twice. And the guilt when I or my parents buy something for me is just irritating, many people would not get it.
Even buying basic necessities for myself feels like a waste of money and the only thought that comes to my mind while spending money is that I could have used that money somewhere else, it sucked.
But poverty teaches you to worry about little things.
Frustrated I got up from my place and walked out of the class, I went to the rooftop to get some fresh air.
It felt peaceful here.
"Zhan." Of course, the peace never lasts long.
"Yes, Yibo."
He was quiet for some time, I am sure he was thinking of what to say so that I wouldn't be triggered so that I wouldn't be angry.
"Um... if you are free after school then let's hang out."
"No, I am not free."
"Oh..."
"Then what about tomorrow?" he said again.
"I am busy," I said without even thinking.
He was quiet again. "What are you busy with ?" he asked in a small voice.
"Do I have to tell you?" I said in a sharp voice, "Are you my parent or what?"
"I didn't mean it like that... I just wanted to spend some time with you and talk..."
"You have your new friends go to them! Stop bothering me, we have nothing in common what do you wanna talk about with me? College? job? life? I am not interested in listening to you show off."
I spoke, and I didn't mean a word I said, I hated myself for being like this but I had so much pent-up hatred, anger, and frustration that I was like a ticking time bomb ready to explode anytime, and Yibo just wouldn't leave me alone!
"Why are you being like this..." he asked, "I just wanted to talk to you about..."
"Go talk to your new friends and leave me alone."
Yibo became quiet and sighed, "Sorry, can I just stay here with you?" his voice came out as well and once again I felt like shit, I hated talking like this with him.
"Sure," I said, I wanted to stay close to him because only a few months were left till graduation and then we would soon go our separate ways.
"This is peaceful," he said.
"Indeed."
"I am going to miss our friendship."
I said nothing, because miss was not the word I would use to describe how I would feel after Yibo would go away, I would be a shattered and broken mess, I don't even know how I would survive without him.
"Zhan I...I really wish...we never separate."
I wish that too but I would never say that.
I am toxic and might even turn abusive and I would rather like to die before hurting him.
"Yibo... I hope that you get into your dream college, Hazelwood Academy is where you belong."
"Will you walk back home with me?" he asked.
"Sure."