Chapter 32: Psycho Academy : Chapter 26

Field training: Day 30, hour 8

Turned out I spoke too hastily about feeling good.

Shocking. Didn’t see that coming.

The glow from Orion’s cheek kiss lasted for about three hours, and then the crippling existential dread returned.

I jumped at every shadow in the fortress because I kept thinking it was death in a cloak stalking me. So that was fun.

“Hey, Aran, wait up.” Shane’s voice was loud and grating.

John flinched beside me at the sound, and Scorpius muttered something derogatory about an orange mohawk.

I stopped in the middle of the hall, and the other recruits stopped beside me.

We’d just finished morning class with Ms. Gola, and we were all walking to lunch in silence.

Ever since the last battle with the ungodly, the eight of us had settled into a comfortable routine. No one spoke about what had happened.

If someone brought up the ungodly, they were bullied mercilessly until they shut the fuck up.

Zenith was the biggest perpetrator.

The demon kept trying to bring up the battle at meals, which sent half of us into panic attacks and made the other half angry.

Malum had dealt with him by gently waterboarding him for six hours in the shower until he agreed to stop talking.

Even Vegar hadn’t interfered, because Zenith deserved it.

Now I turned slowly toward Shane as lightning streaked across the walls and the air crackled with electricity.

My already wild curls tickled my cheeks as they leaped against gravity.

“Do you need something?” I asked Shane, confused why the half warrior had singled me out yet again.

Sun god, he was obsessed with me.

“Nope, just wanted to check up on you, fae man.” He flashed a brilliant smile as he ran a hand through his orange mohawk.

My teeth gritted as I took in his relaxed posture. The half warriors had been riding us harder during our runs and had joined with Lothaire giving us critiques over our performances. They knew about our horrible battles with the ungodly, and they condoned it.

I didn’t like him.

Be nice. You want him to like you so he doesn’t rip out your heart and ascend to your throne.

I forced the scowl off my face and relaxed my shoulders like I was a chill person and not high-strung. “I’m doing fine. Thanks for asking.”

“That’s really good to hear.” Shane leaned forward and ruffled my hair. “Everyone is treating you well? I know it must be hard to be the new guy, especially with the battles.”

All of us groaned as he broke the golden rule.

It also took every ounce of control I had not to reel away from his touch. I didn’t like people invading my personal space unless it was Sadie, Jinx, John, or Orion.

“Don’t worry, everyone’s been super welcoming.” I smirked at Malum as I spoke. He rolled his eyes and made a face, the flames crawling across his shaved head making the action seem less childish and more terrifying.

“That’s great to hear. I’m glad you’re being treated well,” Shane said with enthusiasm.

His ability to detect sarcasm was truly impressive.

Also, I hated to be dramatic, but I’d never been treated worse in my life, and I’d had a cannibal phase.

Lightning flashed.

Shane ruffled my hair again.

I debated launching myself at him and gouging out his eyeballs with my fingernails. Then he wouldn’t touch me.

As if he sensed my dark thoughts, John put his arm around my shoulder and pulled me away from Shane.

“Aran’s doing fabulous and has never been better. He’s really just thriving. Big killer, this one,” John gushed and had the audacity to tickle my side like I was a kid.

I gently stomped my foot on the sensitive part of his bare foot.

John laughed and tickled me harder like I was playing.

Shane narrowed his eyes like he realized he was being fucked with. “Okay, just wanted to make sure. You can come by my office anytime if you need to talk.”

Did I look like someone who wanted to talk about my feelings?

I rolled my pipe with my tongue and inhaled smoke. “Do you have any enchanted drugs or alcohol in your office?” I asked hopefully.

Shane laughed like I was hilarious. “Nice joke, fae man.”

“If you’re lame, just say that,” I mumbled under my breath.

“What? I didn’t hear you.” He leaned closer with his big freaking smile.

Sun god, I hated friendly people.

There was something so nice about them that it was freaking creepy. Like where was their self-deprecation and hatred for life? Where was the spice?

He was giving me nothing.

Shane kept waiting for me to fill him in, and I shifted on my feet uncomfortably with my mouth zipped shut. I couldn’t speak without saying something mean.

“Aran’s good. We need to go eat. We’re going to be late.” Malum stepped up beside me and put his hand on my shoulder like he had permission to touch me.

Tension filled the hall as Shane stared at the hand.

Awkward.

“Yeah, we gotta go.” I tried to smile, but the action made me feel sick, and I settled for a deadpan stare.

“Okay, remember I’m down to talk or just hang out whenever you need, fae man,” Shane called over his shoulder as he walked away.

When he disappeared out of sight, I turned to Malum. “Touch me again and you’ll lose your hand.”

His hand lit on fire and scorched the shoulder of my shirt. “Oops,” Malum said like a mean girl before he released me.

“Great.” I mimed gagging. “Now I have chlamydia.”

“That’s not how that works.”

“Sounds like something someone with chlamydia would say.”

“Can we just go fucking eat?” Scorpius sighed as he grabbed the seething king and led us toward food.

Did Malum have a sexual disease? I had no clue.

Did I kneel before my bed and pray to the sun god that Malum was riddled with sexual diseases? Every single night.

No one could say I wasn’t pious.

“Well, that was entertaining.” John flashed his dimples as he draped his arm across my shoulders. “Shane really acts like he thinks you two are best friends.”

Since I was about four inches shorter than the human, I was apparently the perfect height for him to lean all over.

“He can think whatever he wants, but it doesn’t make it true,” I grumbled.

John smiled, and I could tell from the way he grabbed me tighter that he enjoyed the fact that I didn’t want to be friends with Shane.

“The eclipse must be getting to Shane, because it’s obvious you’re not interested,” Horace said as he sauntered up beside us. “It gets to people, you know, the lack of sunlight. Makes them act loco.” He spun his finger in a circle next to his temple.

“Why are you talking to us?” I asked the yellow-eyed vampyre with confusion.

“I’ve decided you’re not completely pathetic.”

“Thank the sun god. It’s a miracle,” I said dryly.

Horace humphed. “Then you must have no sense of humor.”

Before Horace could say something horrible like an offer to make friendship bracelets, we entered the great hall, and he got distracted by a goblet of blood.

Servers brought out overflowing trays of warm food.

Ever since the incident, aka the kings shoving food down my throat and humiliating me, I’d learned my lesson.

I piled my plate full with meat, vegetables, and bread.

Then I took a big forkful of meat and discreetly dumped it under the table into a small pile.

John knew what I was doing, but he wasn’t a snitch, so he didn’t say anything.

There was a burst of laughter from the far side of the room as the royal students laughed at something that was most likely not funny.

Our table was dead silent.

A group of commoner students burst out laughing, and I gripped my fork tighter.

I fought the urge to stand up and scream at them to stop having fun and just shut the fuck up so we could all suffer in peace.

They kept laughing like imbeciles.

A migraine started to throb in my temple.

We were only a few feet above the other tables, but we might as well have been living in another realm. There was a growing chasm between us.

While they went to class, studied their abilities, and hung out with each other, we fought monsters on mountainsides and got boulders thrown at us.

Grown men and women who were all extremely powerful and impressive. They seemed like innocent, naive children.

Death hadn’t visited them.

The gourmet food tasted like ashes in my mouth.

“Hey,” a soft female voice broke our table’s carefully cultivated silence, and I jumped at the intrusion.

Tara and Sari awkwardly shuffled as they stood next to me. They had a pile of papers in their hands.

Tara was the blonde I’d stood up for in the bathing room, and Sari was her pretty dark-haired friend who’d gotten with Orion and sat in front of us in our morning class.

They both were staring at me expectantly.

“Hi?” I asked awkwardly.

I shifted to try and block their view of the pile of meat on the ground. Why is everyone trying to talk to me today?

Tara chewed on her bottom lip as a red flush crept up her neck. “Sari says that you do really well in battle strategies class, and we need help for our homework assignment.”

Sari nodded vigorously. “Will you help us? We have to write twenty pages on why an enchanted gun is one of the deadliest weapons in the realm, and we’re both really struggling.”

Phantom bullet wounds peppered my flesh.

Walter gasped as he died beneath me.

Bullet after bullet ripped through my skin and tore me to shreds.

Gore everywhere.

Malum scoffed, and Scorpius sneered, “That’s so easy. You don’t need help.”

The red flush crawled up Tara’s neck until her face was beet red.

Sari rolled her eyes. “We’re asking Aran because he’s smart and nice. Not you.”

Both girls kept their eyes on me and ignored the men staring at them.

Horace whispered something under his breath that sounded a lot like, “I’m going to drain you dry. Then I’ll drink your blood.”

His meaning was so horrifying that it shook me out of my haze.

Sari put her hands in front of her like she was praying. “Please. Please. Please, Aran. We don’t know who else to ask. You’re the smartest in the class.”

My fingers curled as I stopped myself from beating at my own head and screaming at them to leave me alone.

But I was a beacon of self-control.

I smirked at Malum and said pointedly, “As the smartest person in the class, I’d love to help you.”

Malum’s silver eyes were cold as steel. He chewed his steak aggressively and spat, “In your fucking dreams, Egan.”

“Oh my sun god, thank you,” Sari squealed and tugged on Tara. “Told you he would say yes.” She winked.

I smiled faintly, happy that someone’s brain was still producing serotonin.

An hour later, my head hurt from explaining at least fifty reasons for why an enchanted gun was superior to a traditional weapon. My hand ached because at some point, Sari had finagled me into writing out the answers.

This was 100 percent just plagiarism.

Good for her.

“Lunchtime is over,” Malum growled out of nowhere and pulled the pen out of my hand so I had to stop writing.

“Hey, wait, I wasn’t finished.”

Shockingly, it wasn’t Malum who replied. Orion softly said, “They need to go.”

His lyrical voice was smooth like honey, and both Tara and Sari audibly sighed. They stared at the golden fae like they were entranced.

Orion glared back.

The dark expression on his face was such a dramatic departure from his usual gentle demeanor that it took me aback. He gripped his steak knife like a weapon.

Did every man have anger issues?

Well, I knew what my first act as queen would be—mandatory anger management therapy for all men. No exception.

Oh my sun god. A brilliant idea struck me. I can banish all men from the fae realm.

Wow.

Suddenly, ruling on the seat of death didn’t seem like such a bad gig. Sure, I’d have to fight off attacks for about a century, but everyone would calm down eventually.

Malum flicked an ember at my face. “Realm to Aran. Make them leave.”

I shook out of my daydream and turned to the two women.

“Okay, I think you guys should be good now.” I pushed the paper back into Sari’s hand and flexed my aching fingers.

“You’re the best, Aran.” Sari squealed and gave me a big hug.

I awkwardly patted her on the back and resisted the urge to push her away. Abruptly, sticky lips that smelled like bubblegum pressed against my cheek.

Orion’s glass shattered.

Sari pulled back with her massive smile, and I looked at her lips enviously.

“Is your lip gloss bubblegum? I like it,” I said before my brain could process what I was saying.

There was a clatter of silverware as Malum knocked over his plate with his elbow.

Fuck. That wasn’t very manly of me.

I coughed and deepened my voice. “I mean. That’s hot.”

Sari giggled and grabbed Tara’s arm, but the blonde bombshell also leaned forward and kissed my cheek. She pulled away with a soft blush and mumbled, “Thanks, Aran.”

“No problem.” My face burned at their attention, and I knew my pale skin was flushed bright red. “I’m happy to help anytime,” I said honestly.

It was nice to do schoolwork during the meal instead of stressing out the entire time that Malum was going to see me hiding my food and choke me out in front of everyone.

“Leave now!” Malum barked loudly, and the girls scurried off.

I made to stand, but John looked at me weird. “Where are you going?” he asked.

“Isn’t it time to leave?”

John pointed to the massive clock. “No, we still have an hour.”

I turned to Malum. “Then why the fuck did you just make them leave? I had more things to write.”

“Don’t do other people’s homework. It’s degrading.” He rolled his eyes like I was pathetic.

“You’re degrading.”

“You’re petulant and embarrassing.”

“Coming from the man who can’t fart without becoming a flamethrower.”

Scorpius choked on ale, and John laughed, but Orion just kept glaring at the chairs where Sari and Tara had sat.

“You wanna test out that theory and see?” Malum snarled and leaned forward.

My jaw dropped. “Did you just threaten to fart on me? Who does that?!”

“He’s not worth it,” Scorpius sneered as he put his arm around Malum. “We just need to find someone to fuck tonight.” His pale cheekbones glittered. “Violently.”

Malum sighed and nodded like sex was what he needed and not a lobotomy.

Are they going to use the sex knife?

Wait, better question: Why the fuck did I care?