"Are you sure you're up for class? It's only been a few days since the break up. I'm sure we can skip today. "Lee asked for the hundredth time as we got ready for class.
I rolled my eyes at her "Lee I'll be fine. And we can't miss today. We have practical exams all day." I reminded her.
" Okay fine and don't roll your eyes at me. I'm just worried about you." She defended.
"Yeah I know and I love you for it but Ill be okay. Besides we are coming back here immediately so I'll be okay for a few hours." I reminded her.
"Let's get ready then." Lee replied and we finished getting dressed.
I wasn't sure if I would be okay today after everything that had happened but I had to at least try. Fake it till you make it, as they said. Today we had to perform the dance we had been rehearsing, a short skit with a theme affecting today's society and a themed class poem. It wasn't as easy as it sounded considering each act had a different costume. I hadn't been to rehearsals for the past one week but am sure I would perform okay.
"This is one of my worst days during the semester. We won't get to eat anything and to make it worse we will be on our feet all day." Lee complained as left the house.
I locked the door putting my keys in my backpack. We were each carrying an extra bag with us containing our costumes.
"I actually like today. We get to see what everyone has been working on all semester. It's fun making fun of the first years too and you know it." I replied.
"Yeah you're right. It's always hilarious when they can't seem to find the right costumes for a traditional dance or even worse when they don't know which room they are being examined in." Lee said laughing and I joined her.
Lee and I had decided not to walk to class. It was a long walk and we wanted to save the energy plus if we walked we would be late. So we hailed down two motorbikes and were on our way to class.
We passed by Masons hostel building and I didn't want to look but I looked up at the third floor to see if I would catch a glimpse of him but I wasn't so lucky.
Part of me wished he was miserable like me but another part of me wanted him to fix things with his mother and both of them to be happy. I really wanted to hate Mason but I just couldn't. He was every girls dream guy and he was mine for a while until I lost him. I didn't want to think about him anymore but the more I tried to stop the more I found myself thinking about him all the more. Deep down I knew he would always be a part of me, I just had to find a way to live knowing he was the one thing I desired most in the world but couldn't have.
********************************************
Lee paid for our rides and we joined the rest of our classmate who were huddled outside sitting on the grass under a shady tree. We were the last to arrive and Caleb , our class representative was giving instructions and guidelines for the day. We sat at the very back to avoid being noticed.
"Thank you for gracing us with your presence ladies." Caleb mocked when he noticed us making the whole class turn to look at us.
"Give it a rest Caleb. We are here aren't we." Lee said sitting down besides George.
"Am sorry we are late. Please go on." I apologized before sitting down next to Lee.
Caleb was a prick who always wanted to get into an argument with everyone for any reason he could find. While Lee liked to ruffle his feathers I always did the opposite , kill them with kindness or in this case, him.
"Hi George." I greeted.
"Hey Becca." He replied with a smile.
"Did we miss anything?" Lee asked him.
"Nothing important. He just got started." George explained and we nodded before turning our attention to Caleb.
"So as I was saying before I was rudely interrupted.. ." Caleb began but was cut off.
" Quit yapping about it Caleb. They apologized, now just go on and stop wasting time. We still need to do a quick run of all our items and we can't do that if you keep focusing on stupid things." Kylie said pissed off.
A few people snickered and a few mock words floated through aimed at Caleb. Lee gave a thumbs up at Kylie who nodded in acknowledgement. It was nice seeing someone stand up to Caleb once in a while. He was so full of himself so it was good when someone knocked him down.
"You know what suit yourselves. Am done. See you on stage." Caleb shouted before dropping everything he had on the grass and storming off.
"Good riddance." Lee shouted making sure Caleb heard her.
Jessica who was our other class representative picked up from where Caleb had left off. She was much more nicer and relatable. She explained everything to us making sure we signed the attendance sheet in the process and that everyone had what they needed to play their parts right. We found out which lecturers were to examine us and which rooms we would use. We had less items than last semester so hopefully we would be done earlier.
After the briefing was done we all headed to the washrooms to change into our dance costumes. It was our first item.
"Becca." Jessica called out as we walked over to the washrooms.
"Yes."
"Dr. James wants to see you and Lee before we start. Can you tell her for me, she's on the phone." Jessica informed me.
"Sure. Thanks Jess."
"Your welcome." She replied and followed the rest of the girls.
I hadn't noticed that Lee had been left behind talking on the phone so I just stood there and waited for her till she was done. I saw a familiar car parked at the end of the faculty parking lot for our department that made me take a double take. I couldn't see the plates clearly because I was wearing my contacts and they weren't as effective as my glasses but it looked like Masons car. It could have just been a similar model but I looked around to see if I'd spot him just to make sure. He had said he would come today during one of our conversations. Part of me wanted him to come so I could see him but another part of me wanted him to stay as far away as possible.
"Who are we looking for?" Lee asked startling me.
"Uumh." Think fast B. "Dr. James. He wants to see the both of us before our first exam." Nice save B, I thought giving myself a mental high five.
I hadn't practically lied to B but I didn't tell her the whole story either. If I did she would start worrying and I didn't want to deal with that right now.
"Let's check his office." Lee suggested and I followed her into the administration building.
"What do you think he wants?" I asked Lee.
"Maybe he wants us to give some last minute pointers to the first years. Did you see what they were doing? It was hilarious." Lee said silently laughing .
"It really was funny." I said laughing.
I knocked on Dr. James door and we entered when we heard him invite us in.
"Ah! If it isn't my most prized students . I was waiting for you. Please have a seat." He said wearing a big smile on his face.
Lee and I exchanged strange looks before looking back at Dr. James. He was one the youngest lecturers in the department. I didn't quite know how old but he couldn't be more than forty. He was also the most relatable. He mainly wore jeans and shirts compared to most of our lectures who liked to dress more conservatively for lack of a better word.
"I know you must be wondering why I've called you both here so I'll get straight to the point. A few departments were chosen to send a few students to Durban university in the UK for an exchange program. As you know our university collaborates with them from time to time. Anyway back to the main reason why you're both here. Our department was lucky to receive four letters, gender equality and all included so two students of each gender are required and you two were voted for by all lecturers. Before you start shouting and screaming."He said giving a warning look to Lee whose mouth was already open to scream. She shut it just as quick." Good. Back to business. Make sure to get all your details in order. You will be leaving in time to join the next semester at Durban so get all your papers in check. You leave in two months. Here are all the forms you need to fill and my doors are always open for any enquiries. Now go and get ready for the exams. Don't think you can escape those." He concluded dismissing us.
"Thank you Dr. James." Lee and I said appreciatively before exiting his office.
As soon as Lee and I got outside we let out excited screams as we hugged jumping around in joy. Lee and I had been waiting for this chance since forever and it was finally here.
"We are going to the United Kingdom B. This is the best thing ever and the cherry on top is we are going together. I don't think I would have enjoyed this if I was going without you." Lee said squishing me in her arms, for someone so small she did have some strength in those arms.
"It is a dream come true." I agreed hugging her back. "We have to celebrate later but for now we have to go change because it's almost time for our performance." I included.
"Do you think we should tell our classmates? I don't want it to seem like we are bragging."Lee asked as we walked towards the washroom.
"Am sure the news will spread fast enough so we don't have to tell them and besides you and I worked really hard to get a chance in the program so we deserve this." I reasoned.
"I guess you're right. Am sure most of them will be happy for us and if they aren't their loss. Am going to the UK and they are not so I win." Lee said proudly.
"Don't get too cocky. There's still a chance we can loose this opportunities. Now let's go shake our booties off." I said entering the washroom.
"You will shake your booty and I will just try not to pull any muscles as I try to keep up with you." Lee replied making me laugh.
If it were any other time I would be skeptical about going to the UK but right now I was single so no emotional attachment keeping me here and my parents were now financially able to send me there. I was a little worried for Lee since her mother wasn't exactly rolling in money but am sure she would be okay and where she couldn't am sure my parents would be more than willing to help.
I couldn't help but have my thoughts go back to Mason. If I was still dating him I would have had second thoughts about leaving him but now I couldn't wait to leave because I needed the space. And besides he was in his last semester here at the university meaning he would be graduating before the end of the year. Am sure he would graduate with first class honours. He was smart like that and his rich mother would have a job lined up for him in some big company somewhere.
A month ago I was happy in a relationship with the man of my dreams. Now I was single with a broken heart and a ticket to the UK. Maybe things were starting to look up and I hoped they stayed that way. For now I had to begin with getting this day over with, beginning with the dance I had been so hyped up about. Wish me luck, not that I needed it anyway. I was confident I was going to ace this.
*******************************************
The day was finally over and Lee and I were going back to my place to celebrate. We were in the company of a few of our classmates since we were all headed in the same direction. It had been a long day but I was proud of all of us since we had done a great job.
"Ice cream on me for a job well done." Lee announced making everyone shout in appreciation then she turned to me with a cheeky look on her face that said trouble and I knew what she wanted.
"No Lee am not lending you money." I told her before she could open her mouth to say anything.
"How did you know?" She asked shocked.
"I know all your looks especially the please lend me some cash look." I replied.
"Just give me the money Lee or ill tell on you." She threatened with a smug look on her face.
I groaned out loud before grabbing a thousand shillings from my bag and handing it to her.
"One day that threat won't work." I told her.
"We both know that is a lie." Lee said pocketing the money.
"Practically Becca is the one treating us to the ice cream." George commented and I gave him a high five.
"Shut up George if you want any ice cream." Lee threatened and he kept quiet.
"Becca's hottie coming up. How did you land such a man B? Am officially jealous." Kylie commented and I looked ahead to see Mason leaning on his car.
I was shocked to see him and stood frozen for a second before I composed myself and moved forward. What was he doing here? I didn't anticipate that he would keep his word and come see me perform. My heart was beating so fast I could feel blood rush to my face. Mason was here. For me. What was I going to do?
"How can you ask that? Have you seen the body on this girl?" George complimented making me smile as I turned my gaze back towards where Mason was.
He looked so good dressed in all black as usual which isn't surprising as that is his signature look. To anyone else he looked calm and collected but to me who spent my pass time staring at him he looked different, he just wasn't himself. His shoulders were drooped which was strange because Mason had the most upright posture I had ever seen on anyone and he was drawing figures on the ground with his shoes. Mason hated that habit, he always said it made someone look stupid, yet here he was doing it.
Lee moved closer to my side and I appreciated her comfort and quick understanding of the situation. I hadn't seen Mason since the break up and only Lee knew we had broken up. I had two options, go talk to him to avoid questions from my classmates or walk right past him and prepare myself for endless grilling.
"Are you sure?" Lee whispered already reading my mind.
"I'm not ready for people to know." I explained.
"Okay I'll see you at home." She agreed before walking ahead as I walked towards Mason.
I could see Lee sending Mason glares but didn't say or do anything crazy. I loved her for that. She always understood me and for that I was eternally grateful.
"You get it girl." George hooted and I blushed.
To avoid suspicion I put my arms around Masons waist for a hug making my classmates go crazy with comments. Mason hesitated for a while, possibly shocked before he hugged me squeezing me against him. It felt so good being back in his arms again and as always he smelled amazing. Too bad it was only for show.
As soon as I saw the coast was clear I let him go and put my hands in the pockets of my hood. Masons hands dropped to his side defeated.
"Am guessing that sudden display of affection was for the benefit of your classmates."He commented his voice sounding raspy.
His voice. I had missed that.
"What do you want Mason?" I asked already on edge being in his presence.
I wanted so badly to walk back into his arms but I knew I didn't have that luxury anymore. Another painful reminder that he wasn't mine.
"You were great today. Am proud of you." He said deflecting.
He looked anywhere but right at me. I had never seen Mason look this vulnerable. I just wanted to take him in my arms and tell him everything would be okay but I knew it wouldn't be as long as his mother didn't approve of me.
"Mason get to the point. Tell me why you are here. It's been a long day. My body hurts and my feet feel twice their normal size." I whined.
"If we were still together. I'd give you one of my famous massages that you like so much." Mason replied kicking a pebble away before finally looking up at me.
"But we are not together anymore Mason." I breathed out frustrated. "You know what, am leaving. I can't take this." I turned to leave but Mason held my hand preventing me from leaving.
"What do you want me to say B? That I miss you so much and am literally going crazy without you. My house is filled with memories of you so I can't do anything without thinking about you. I can't sleep, I can't study. You won't reply my texts or calls and the watchman at your hostels seems to hate me all of a sudden for some crazy reason so I can't come see you. To make everything worse I can't hate you because I know why you made the decision you made." Mason ranted out emotionally.
He was even more broken now and I hated seeing him like this.
"I told Mwamba not to let you in because you sold drugs." I explained.
Mason chuckled humorlessly "That explains all the frisking I get before he kicks me out. He won't even allow me in after I bribe him. What watchman does that?" He asked surprised.
"That's Mwamba for you. Why did you come today Mason?" I asked him.
"I had to see you B. I really do miss you." He replied.
"Well unless you magically made your mom like me then am sorry but I don't think we can get back together." I reasoned.
"You think I don't know that. I still love you so much B and it hurts knowing you're not mine anymore." He said rubbing running his hands through his hair in a frustrated way.
I really missed doing that. His hair was always so soft especially after he washed it.
"I love you too Mason but the problem won't go away just because we love each other." I explained. "Now I have to go home. I need a hot shower and food."
"At least let me drive you back home. I don't want you to leave just yet." He pleaded.
"I don't think that's a good idea Mason." I said to him.
"Please B." He begged and I gave in.
I really didn't want to walk all that distance alone and what harm would it do, right. I gave myself a pat in the back for holding it together this long.
"Okay but this is the last time we are seeing each other." I said as I sat in the passenger seat driving a sword in both our hearts.
I saw the dejected look on his face and I almost softened but I had to hold my ground.
"You know am right Mason. Seeing each other is just too painful." I explained but he didn't answer just nodded.
He reversed out of the parking lot slowly and drove away. The ride was silent both of us lost in thought and not really knowing what to say to each other. I kept stealing glances at Mason knowing that this would be the last time I would be able to see him this close.
Soon enough we pulled up to my place. We sat in silence for a few minutes before I decided to just leave but I had to tell him something first.
"Am leaving for an exchange program to the UK for the next semester. Maybe being in different continents will do us some good. I know you will graduate with honors Mason. I love you so much. Take care of yourself and please try and be happy." With a quick kiss to his cheek I quickly left the car and went inside the compound before he could react and I would be forced to stay.
Maybe we would be happier apart. Only time would tell.
*******************************************
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Love@Lyssah.