A man's figure rounded the corner, his upright bearing eluding an air of righteousness. His steps were light on the flat, stone walkway, the air seeming to part ways around him as he passed. The sword in his hand gleamed quietly in its sheath and his long hair swayed slightly as he walked.
Liu Qingyuan's eyes raised slightly at the oncoming presence. It was his newly discovered shimei, void of her usual entourage. After all, she was a palace concubine. The pair stared at each other for a moment, one in the uniform of an elite guard and the other in the exquisite silks of a concubine. Their gazes were neither hostile nor friendly, merely blank, silently sizing each other up. After a while, Liu Qingyuan slightly inclined his head.
"Greeting to Second concubine," Yan Li bowed back after a moment, playing along with the act. In a secluded corner of the palace, surrounded only by buildings and shrubbery, there really was no need. But in the palace, the walls had ears and the windows had eyes. Not to mention, Yan Li's entourage wasn't far. Who knew if a maid servant would come to check on her mistress and see something she shouldn't?
Yan Li looked at Liu Qingyuan directly, no longer holding up her pretense of a bookish concubine. In Liu Qingyuan's eyes, her calm gaze changed to a blankness, devoid of emotion; a puppet of a person. He looked away, stepping aside to let her pass. They had nothing to talk about.
Liu Qingyuan knew that all his master's disciples, even his indirect disciples, were trained this way. But as he watched her pass him and venture deeper into the garden, he couldn't help but feel that that blank gaze was a little... Did he also look at others like that? With a blankness that was perceived as calm? But the king had laughed and joked with him, and sometimes he'd found himself unconsciously smiling, a strange feeling in his chest. What was this? Was he breaking? Liu Qingyuan glanced back but Yan Li was long gone. A feeling of anxiety gripped his heart. He'd always been his master's best, but right now, the ground under him was beginning to crumble. The foreboding taste of disappointment was heavy on his taste. Liu Qingyuan away, his heart churning with unresolved turmoil.
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That Night
Jiang Zhilan glanced over again at the dazed figure that was his bodyguard. He was still burdened by the sudden arrival of the Gongzhuan diplomat and coupled with the previous notions he had of Liu Qingyuan, he couldn't help but glance over a few times. After all, which king wasn't at least a little paranoid? This great position came with a large responsibility. They were both simply pretending to a pair of blind men, avoiding addressing all the pressing matters. But what Jiang Zhilan found strange was that despite his numerous glances, Liu Qingyuan still remained out of it. Usually, he was so perceptive and every little gaze and action were all caught by him.
Jiang Zhilan threw aside the scroll, approaching Liu Qingyuan who didn't raise his head until the king was standing in front of him. Surprise flashed momentarily across his face before he straightened up and inclined his head slightly. "Your majesty."
The king glanced around the room, watching the way the numerous candles distorted the shadows climbing up the wall. On this chilly night, there was nothing special. But wasn't it the perfect time to break the ice? He was bored anyway...
Taking a deep breath, Jiang Zhilan tried to convince himself. He spoke rather awkwardly, "You...what's bothering you? I promised that you can tell me anything..."
"...It's nothing, your majesty."
"Nothing? You've been out of it for hours! How are..." He came up with a random excuse. "How are you supposed to protect me?"
"Apologies...your majesty." Jiang Zhilan felt a little lost. This back and forth was going nowhere. He missed the days when Liu Qingyuan was a little more carefree and loose with his words. It seemed since their initial meeting, they'd both aged and taken on plenty more burdens.
"You know that...I...know everything." He tentatively gestured between themselves while searching Liu Qingyuan's face. In the dim lamp light, he thought he saw a tremor in his eyes. Liu Qingyuan clenched a hand in his uniform, maintaining his calm.
"What is his majesty referring to?" Jiang Zhilan paused at his uncooperative attitude. He sighed. Might as well smash the pot.
"I think we both know, and have known for a while. You...came to kill me." Liu Qingyuan slowly raised his gaze, the tendons in his neck faintly tensing. Jiang Zhilan laughed nervously, averting his gaze. "I didn't think that people still knew about the...legend. Much less, as a children's story." His eyes fell on Liu Qingyuan's sword. Though he himself trained, Liu Qingyuan was trained to kill. After all this time, why was he still alive? It meant, there was still hope.
"You came here for this, right?" Jiang Zhilan held out his hand, the red spider lily hairpin sliding from his sleeve and into his grasp. His heart was pounding, a strange film seeming to cover his ears that he felt dizzy with anticipation. The red petals glimmered enticingly in the light, as bright and deep as the blood that ran through his veins. Liu Qingyuan's hand faintly shook, his knuckles turning white. Faced with such a direct confrontation, there was nothing left to hide behind. The pitiful remains of his defense came crumbling down. Jiang Zhilan continued,
"I'm sure you know about my phoenix mark; every true ruler of Qiangda has had it. It strengthens our constitution, so that one may be at ease and rule with a steady mind." He rubbed a petal with his thumb. "Actually, besides natural forces, this is the only thing that can really kill me." Jiang Zhilan looked up. Liu Qingyuan had frozen, his expression impossible to read. Despite it, he didn't seem surprised, as if he'd already knew. The corner of Jiang Zhilan's mouth twisted; it was to be expected from someone as great as him.
It was different from that night when they'd first kissed, when Liu Qingyuan had first exposed himself and Jiang Zhilan had begun to suspect. Now, there was a chasm of feelings between them, as sticky and difficult to navigate as a pot of honey. In this silence, a icy wind seemed to blow, freezing them both in place after those words.
"It's my poison," Jiang Zhilan whispered.
Tremblingly, Liu Qingyuan looked at him, not even feeling the design of his sword scabbard dig into his hands. The panic intermingled with the desire to lay all pretenses to rest and he found himself struggling to express his wishes.
In a sudden movement, Liu Qingyuan reached up, lacing his fingers with the king's so that the hairpin lay between their intertwined hands. He looked at him deeply, watching every micro-expression of his face. "How do you know I won't kill you right now? Then...I will return triumphant to my master." Jiang Zhilan's gaze flickered slightly, his pupils trembling slightly. Liu Qingyuan stepped closer, forcing Jiang Zhilan back half a step. He searched his eyes. "You don't trust me."
Jiang Zhilan looked into Liu Qingyuan's dark eyes and saw a faint trace of anger flash by, followed by an emotion he couldn't identify. In a decisive movement, he pulled their intertwined hands towards himself. The tip of the hairpin pressed against his chest and the phoenix tattoo on his back sent a heated throb across his skin as if in warning. "I trust you enough."
Liu Qingyuan's jaw clenched. As if in retaliation, he pressed forward. Jiang Zhilan grunted, feeling the cold metal pass through the silk like butter and press icily against his skin. In the next moment, it broke skin and burning pain accompanied it; much too painful for a wound of that size. The phoenix mark on his back burned with heat, making a small bead of sweat slide down his temple as his face paled. Jiang Zhilan felt Liu Qingyuan's grip tighten, stopping the momentum before the hairpin could pierce further.
The king smiled shakily, "See, you wouldn't." But his face was too pale. He couldn't have imagined it would hurt this much. It really was his poison.
"I-" Liu Qingyuan's face tensed, his expression spelling his unconscious regret. He went to pull away his hand but Jiang Zhilan held fast. The hairpin fell to the ground with a high-pitch twinkle and Jiang Zhilan stumbled forward. Face full of panic, Liu Qingyuan grabbed him. "I'm sorry-" His lips were captured all of a sudden and his words were cut short. "You-" In his panic, Liu Qingyuan did what he did best; run away. But Jiang Zhilan grabbed his arm, pushing him back against the desk. Under the force of two grown men, the desk gave a screech as it shifted. The momentum caused Jiang Zhilan to fall forward.
He grabbed Liu Qingyuan's lapel, preventing him from moving away even a little. "Tell me, do you like me? Is that why you won't kill me?" Liu Qingyuan was speechless, unable to utter a syllable. The king leaned forward, his brows furrowed, face pale and uncharacteristically serious. Liu Qingyuan leaned away, his hand knocking a bowl of coloured ink and sending the porcelain clattering across the desk. A few drops of red spilled across the lacquered surface. He turned his face away, feeling flustered, the tips of his ears pink.
"Tell me." The king's eyes flitted over his profile, reaching up to wrap his arms around his neck. "It's a simple yes or no."
'You wound-" Liu Qingyuan looked down, and immediately, Jiang Zhilan's face seemed to loom. He quickly looked away again, eyelashes trembling. Standing chest to chest, Liu Qingyuan could feel a thundering heartbeat and wondered if his own was simply too loud or if the king's heart was also racing.
"Tell me," Jiang Zhilan breathed, "It's an order." Liu Qingyuan grabbed his waist, trying to pull him off.
"Your majesty, your wound..."
"Stop avoiding." Slender fingers softly stroked the back of his neck. Liu Qingyuan felt goosebumps down his spine, his fingers clenching tighter in the silk of the king's robes.
"Don't..." Liu Qingyuan's voice trembled, but he made no move, neither pulling him closer (if that was even possible) or pushing him away further. The king raised his head, gently kissing Liu Qingyuan on the corner of his lips. Jiang Zhilan pulled back, his cheeks a little red with embarrassment, but there was a determination in his eyes.
"Kiss me back..." Those starry eyes seemed to carry with them the alluring scent of peach blossoms. Liu Qingyuan's hand rose, clasping the king's slender neck in his cold palm. His lowered eyes hid his emotions but a pale flush on his cheeks revealed them.
"I...like you," Those words took a lifetime of courage to utter. In this moment, all thoughts about his master were far out the window. He'd tried so hard to suppress everything but the man in front of him made him feel so alive. That morning, looking at Yan Li and that blankness in her eyes, he'd finally realized how precious it was to see the joy, sorrow, and anger in someone's eyes. Because it meant that they were alive in the truest sense.
His hand slid down, pressing against the hole the hairpin had made in the cloth. A little blood had stained the fabric. A smaller hand enveloped his own, covering that mark and pulling his face towards his own. He could feel the rapid heartbeat underneath his fingers as their noses bumped. Liu Qingyuan closed the distance, leaning down to kiss Jiang Zhilan. The kiss held their relief and all the emotions that they weren't able to express. When they finally separated, the king's lips were red and shiny, hands clenched in the fabric of Liu Qingyuan's uniform to prevent himself from falling.
Liu Qingyuan leaned down, gently kissing Jiang Zhilan on each eyelid. His hands trembled slightly, like he was holding a great, fragile treasure. One wrong move and it would break, crumbling between his fingers as he grasped helplessly at air.
Filled with a myriad of emotions, a tear slipped from the corner of Jiang Zhilan's eyes and he quickly buried his head in Liu Qingyuan's chest to hide it. With red ears, Liu Qingyuan returned the king's embrace.
Jiang Zhilan smiled, closing his eyes in the presence of the comforting solidness that was Liu Qingyuan and his familiar smell. This person surnamed Liu...forcing him would only make him run away but at the same time, forcing him into a corner made him overcome the hurdles. Liu Qingyuan was person of great power, whether physically or mentally, but he was lacking in the area of human relationships. Jiang Zhilan didn't know whether it was just how he was, or if it was because of something that happened in his childhood, but no matter what, he wanted to show Liu Qingyuan all the doting that he could.
On Liu Qingyuan's side, though he had decided in his heart, his head was still churning with the difficulties to come. Just a moment ago, he'd been struggling between the man in front of him and the man that had raised him. He couldn't describe the feeling in his chest, but every time he was with Jiang Zhilan, he felt himself become more relaxed than he'd ever let himself be. It felt nice. It felt good. However, having been abandoned as a child, Mo Wu had been the one who'd saved him. Liu Qingyuan wished he could keep them both, but deep down, he knew he'd have to let one go. His master, driven by his own revenge and the king in front of him, who was devoted to his people. Neither would concede, and so, only he could.
"I'm sorry," Liu Qingyuan mumbled.
"What for?"
"...just because,"Â Liu Qingyuan said quietly, playing with the king's silken strands of hair.
"I like you." Liu Qingyuan's ears flushed again.
"What for?"
"Just because," Jiang Zhilan said smilingly.
"You..." The king laughed lightly, feeling like his heart was fuller than ever. After a moment of silence, Liu Qingyuan raised his head, the expression in his eyes fierce. "I will protect you...my king."