The last couple of hours have been surreal. After the best deep tissue massage I've ever had, and the salon deeming me fit for their weekly free Hair Care session for a random guest at the hotel, it felt like I was a heroine from a Hollywood rom-com movie. Despite all the excitement that came from being in a place I've always dreamt about, the best part of it is that Charlie and I are officially a couple.
Wow, I still can't believe that is true.
All this while, I always thought I wanted a big gesture from whoever I ended up with. You know, the dinner, the will you be girlfriend question written boldly on a dessert plate, the restaurant staff asking me to say yes. But I was so wrong. The silent interaction between Charlie and I was louder than any big gesture could have been. And we both understood that when we decided to skip the dinner he had planned for the night âwhere he admitted he was going to formally ask me to be his girlfriendâto order room service and binge greys anatomy on his laptop.
It was everything I never thought I wanted. And my heart has been bursting with joy ever since.
It's only been a couple of hours since Charlie woke me up with the best head everâwaking up to the feeling of him going down on me has to be in the top 3 hottest moments of my lifeâbut I'm still unable to wipe the smile off my face as I stare at the ceiling of the hotel bathroom and let the hot water soothe the dull ache I'm feeling in my lower belly. Charlie was currently at the state of the art hotel gym whilst I slept in for some much needed shuteye. Besides, I had other plans. The bathroom here is simply too beautiful and I refuse to check out of the hotel without having used the large ass bath tub.
As I lay there in the pool of warm water and a vanilla scented shower gel, I can't help but allow all the thoughts I've been keeping at bay race through my head. The sex felt different. Sex with Charlie has always been good. But last night, it felt like we're not just using each other to get off. Neither are we pretending the sex doesn't mean more than it does. We've always f*cked like we were meant for each other but this time, it felt like we would never be able to be with someone else. Charlie wanted me to know he has ruined me for every other man, and I got the message pretty clearly.
I could never be with someone elseâthe thought of it was equally comforting as it was scary. But this time, I don't allow my mind linger on the thoughts. Rather, I forced myself to focus on the positives and the happiness bursting through every nerve of my body.
The first thing i did after getting out of bed was call my mum to tell her the newsâI ended up dropping her a voice recording instead due to the time difference. And then I informed my friends who were practically over the moon for me. Especially Shadè, who we all know can't keep a secret to save her life. Poor girl was probably going out of her mind trying to keep the fact that Charlie messaged them about this since the night he asked us to be exclusive. Another thing I can't get over âCharlie involving my friends and parents in this.
I picture a world where Charlie called my parents to apologise about the interview he did months ago and also get their blessing regarding asking me to be his girlfriend and my heart bursts with a foreign emotion that I can't describe. One so strange and terrifying that I'm forced to sit up straight.
"You look like you've just seen a ghost." I've been so lost in lost in my own head, wrapped up in the cocoon of my emotions and the warm embrace of the water that I didn't hear Charlie enter the room or the bathroom. Charlie eyed me worriedly as he walks towards me. "Are you okay? Did I scare you?"
I shake my head, still dazed by my thoughts as Charlie leans down to assess my face before dropping a quick kiss on my lips that sends a jolt of sensation all the way from the base of my spine to the end of my toes. He doesn't seem convinced by my noncommittal response, his eyes linger on my face with worry.
"You're okay?" He whispers again, his hand caressing my face.
I can't help the smile that cracks on my face as I lean into his touch. "Yes, I'm fine. Just thinking."
"What are you thinking about?" He straightens up, before walking to stand in front of the bathroom mirror. I let my eyes follow him, despite sweat drenched body, Charlie still looks like he could model for GQ.
"Us." I say truthfully. He catches my eyes through the mirror, fear flashing across his face. "I'm happy, that's all." I add quickly before he thinks I'm trying to break up with him. Charlie lets out an audible sigh of relief before peeling off his tank top. My pussy soars to life at the mere sight of his flexing muscles and taut back. I clear my throat, forcing my head out of the gutter it's headed. "How was the gym?"
"Dante and Sawyer came over. We had a nice workout."
"Really, that's awesome." I don't really care much for the workout as I watch Charlie. "They know I'm here too?" I can't help but ask the question that pops to the forefront of my mind. We tried to keep things as quiet as possible when we were fooling around. I've had run ins with Charlie's friends at their apartment but we've never officially told them we're hooking up. But now, with us making things official, it's different. I know he's told my friends but that doesn't mean he's told his.
Charlie turns to face me and the sudden change in contact makes me dizzy. There's a slight playfulness to the smile on his lips as he stalks towards me. "Yes. They both send their greetings." He leans down to give me another kiss. Slow and smooth. Nothing quick about this one. And I accept it with a contented sigh.
I smile against his lips and mutter an "okay" before he pulls away.
No more hiding.
Charlie peels off his gym shorts with a smirk leaving him in nothing but his briefs that's showcasing a very visible hard on. My thighs clench together at the sight as I imagine him buried deep inside me. Charlie's smug smile is an indication he knows my head is in the gutter. Instead of it to infuriate me, it only turns me on even more. "You know, if basketball doesn't work, you could try being a stripper." I try to hide the desire blooming in my chest but Charlie's dark gaze tells me he knows just how turned on I am right now simply from watching him take his clothes off. My cheeks must be on fire.
Charlie chuckles. "It's a nice idea, but I doubt my girlfriend's going to be okay with it."
I don't miss a beat. "She sounds like a smart girl."
"The f*cking smartest." He says as he walks into the shower. It's impossible not to melt at his words. I don't bother hiding the big grin on my face as I lean against the bath tub. A few minutes pass with me thinking about everything and nothing and Charlie washing up in the shower.
"Hey, Lor." His voice calls over the sound of the shower running.
"Yeah?"
"Did Elle tell you anything about Dante?"
"Dante?"
"Yeah."
"Er, nope, nothing." I frown in confusion. "Why?"
Charlie struts out of the shower and before he can respond to me question, he climbs into the tub with me. Charlie is a division 1 basketball player. He's not average sized. He's not average anything. In all fairness this is a large sized tub, however with him in here there's suddenly no space. I'm caged between his legs, "What are you doing?"
"Sitting in a tub with my hot girlfriend." Everytime he says the word girlfriend, my heart does a little skip and I cant help but wonder if that's ever going to go away. Because I still can't believe that we are together in that way. But it's real. Unbelievably real.
"You just had a shower." I whyne jokingly.
"Yes because my dick was f*cking hard as rock from watching you sit here all wet and soapy."
Oh.
I bite my lips, unable to come up with a response. When I don't respond, he continues, "I was always going to join you, I just had to wash off the sweat from my workout."
I want to tell him that I don't care. I'm happy he's here.
"You're huge," I tell him instead.
"But you've taken it so many times like a good girl."
I blush hard, splashing some water at him. "You know I wasn't talking about that."
"You wasn't?" He feigns a sorry expression, his hands finding one of my legs in the tub and squeezing. I lose all sense of reasoning at his rough hands but delicate touch. We sit there in silence, my eyes fixated on the movement of his large hands against my skin. Drawing little patterns that sends a jolt to every part of my body. When I manage to pull my gaze away from his hand to his face, I can't help but admire just how handsome he looks. His gaze meets mine and his expression turns serious, "Are you happy?"
It sounded like a loaded question, however I can't help the smile that spreads across my face. I don't have to think twice. "Yes." I nod. "Are you?"
"I'm so f*cking happy Lor," He admits, eyes shining with an emotion so genuine I feel my heart crack open. "Ever since Robin's death, I feel like I've just been living a day at a time, you know. But these past few months with you have been different and I don't want it to end." He chuckles dryly. "If only we could be in this little bathtub forever. Without caring what's waiting out there."
He's not wrong. I don't want to go back to the reality of my internship. It's too mentally exhausting.
"What are the things waiting for you outside?"
"Basketball, Mila, Therapy, Dixie, my dad, school. The f*cking NBA." He laughs, but it doesn't reach his eyes. I found out about two weeks ago about his therapy sessions. Turns out the time he made me go to the hospital with Mila, it was because he couldn't get out of a session. Not only did I feel so guilty for being so judgemental towards Charlie, it made me feel inexplicably close to him. From a girl who spent two days every week of her childhood life in and out of a shrink's office, I know how difficult it is. Although Charlie originally pushed against speaking to someone, he's developed a somewhat peculiar relationship with his therapist. A second passes before he continues. "I spoke with Dixie." I swallow uncomfortably. Dixie has been blowing my instagram up with messages and I had to resort to restricting her account until it's safe to do otherwise. After the outburst with Charlie, it was the only wise thing to do no matter how much I hated doing it.
"You did?"
"Yeah. I asked her to meet me for coffee the day after I found out about you and her." It doesn't sound like Charlie's angry at all which calms my insides. "And we talked. She was so f*cking anxious about the whole conversation it made me realise what a tool I've been to her."
"She's scared of losing you, that's all." I tell him honestly from what I've noticed. "She loves you a lot Charlie. And she needs her big brother."
"She thinks I hate her."
Charlie says it like it's the most absurd thing he's ever heard. I can't stop myself from asking. "Do you?"
He shakes his head. "I never hated her. IâI think I hated the idea of her." He pauses and I wait for him to continue. "I hated that she and Robin looked so alike people sometimes mistook them for twins. I hated that she was alive and Robin wasn't and they were literally the same age. I also hated that she got to have our dad and a complete family whilst Robin and I were dysfunctional as f*ck."
I stay quiet, giving him time to sort through his emotions and string his thoughts together. "I loved Robin, we were inseparable growing up. But things started getting different the older we got. Our relationship was borderline rocky and I let it be that way, I was too focused on basketball. However, with Dixieâ" Charlie leans back against the tub, a faraway look in his eyes and I'm sure he can picture the very memory he's thinking about. "It was different. She wanted to have a relationship with me. I didn't mind much when we were younger but after Robin died, I couldn't bear the thought of having Dixie replace Robin. It sounded f*cked up not to mention unfair. So, I just shut her out completely."
I feel my heart ache deeply for this man who has been through so much. It's no wonder he's so guarded around people and not very trusting. From losing his dad to almost losing his mum and then losing both his sisters and then losing his girlfriend and best friend.
"Did you tell her that?" I manage to say over the lump forming in my throat. Charlie nods again.
"Yeah." He says. "She understood it better than I expected. She told me she was never trying to replace Robin, she just wanted to be a part of us. I guess when we were younger it was always Robin and Charlie and she was the outsider. She had these two siblings she loved but they always treated her like a familiar stranger."
"She can't blame you guys for that."
"She didn't. I think we both came to understand the fact that it was none of our faults. We were just little children. We had no say in how our nuclear family came to be."
"I'm so happy you spoke with her. I thought I ruined it for you guys forever." I admit softly.
His hand finds mine in the water, and he grips it. I feel a bit of tension ease off my back at the tiny but oddly reassuring gesture. "You didn't. If anything, you helped fix it. If I didn't know about her reaching out to gou, I would have lived life totally shutting Dixie out."
I don't voice the part where I would have forced them to talk.
"She told me about her situation." I knew we would eventually have to speak about Dixie's 911 problem but I didn't expect it to be now. Charlie's expression softens. "Why didn't you get me to help?"
"Charlieâ"
"And you got Isaac? F*cking Isaac?" His words are dripping with confusion and distaste.
"It was late. I don't drive. And I needed a man. My first choice was you obviously, but Dixie was too scared. She wouldn't let me." I explain. "And what do you mean f*cking Isaac. Isaac's a nice guy."
"That's subjective."
"I thought you liked Isaac. He covers most of the games."
"Yeah I thought I did." He mutters to himself.
"So what changed?"
He looks at me "Nothing. I just wish you got me and not Isaac." Charlie plays with my toes under the water. "And I really hope for his sake that the idiot who tried to harass Dixie went home with a broken face."
"He did." I say, trying to distract myself from the sparks shooting from my toes to my core. "Isaac did a number on him. Like a knight in shining armour." I add playfully.
"Somehow that doesn't make me feel better." He replies. "Hope he's still got his shining armour at our next home game."
"Do not scare him away," i say on a giggle as Charlie pulls me on top of him so that in straddling him. I gasp when I feel his hard length against my ass. His eyes darken as I force the words out of my mouth. "He's my friend. The only one I've managed to make outside of the girls."
"I'm your friend." He whispers, pulling my mouth down to meet his.
"You're my boyfriend." I correct, sinking into him.
"Same difference."