I have no idea why my heart is racing but as soon as I see the brown eyed girl who has consumed my every thought for the last three days slowly stroll out of Medias Studies building, her eyes squinting because of the harsh morning LA sun despite the sunglasses perched on top of her head, I feel myself ease up a little bit.
She looks absolutely beautiful in the cropped grey tube top and blue jeans she's wearing. Her brown hair is sleeked back in a ponytail. I f*cking love her ponytails because when her hair is not hiding her face, I get to see all the emotions she has to give written clearly on it. Lorraine is an open bookâeven more open since she gave herself to me. And I don't just mean sexually. She might not know it, but she's utterly and completely mine in every way possible.
And I intend to keep it that way.
I love that she doesn't hide how she's feeling from me. I love that I can read her. In a way, I'm f*cking envious of the fact. It must be f*cking freeing.
I climb out of my jeep and start the short walk to her. She doesn't see me immediately â because she's too busy texting on her phone. But once I'm near, like she can sense me, she looks up, eyes searching for me. "One day you're going to fall down these stairs because you can't keep your eyes off your phone for one moment." I tell her when I reach her in the middle of the stairs that lead down to the curb. "I hope that never happens."
Her eyes search mine worriedly, a range of emotions flashing across her face. Fear, worry, a little bit of anger and frustration. But mostly fear and worry. I hate that I've made her worried. I hate that she's scared even more.
"I'm okay." I tell her, wanting nothing more than to grab her and kiss her glossy lips. I bet she tastes like the cherry from her favourite lipgloss. But I stop myself because I'm aware we've got audience. Not that I give a shit what any of these people think but because I know she gives a shit. So I kind of have to give a shit for her sake. "I'm sorry." I add, hoping that would be enough to subside any anger she's feeling towards me until we get to my surprise getaway for her.
"You've got some serious explaining to do Charlie." She says quietly.
I nod. "I know." I nods towards my car. "And I'll explain everything as soon as we get in the car and get going." That's when I realise she's not holding any bag â except from a bland black tote bag which is holding her laptop and books. "I told you to pack a night bag."
"There was no way I was going to drag a night bag with me to my class this morning." She says as we walk to my jeep. I open the passenger door for her and help her climb in with a little support on her waist. I let my hands linger a bit, keeping her in the position of her butt sticking out so I can have a good view of her ass. My brain betrays me and conjures up an image of her on all fours. And all the blood rushes down south as she sits. She turns to me unknowingly, "I don't pack light and my outfit is too cute for an oversized bag."
"You were running late and forgot it didn't you?" I ask teasingly, knowing fully well how hard it is for her to get out of bed for her morning classes. She's usually on the brink of lateness to most of her classesâexcept
freshman stats. Byrne is an ass who hates tardiness. He wouldn't even give athletes a pass which most professors do. This gets a giggle out of her as I lean in to buckle her in, her fresh morning scent intoxicating me. "God I've missed you so much." I whisper on an inhale. Breathing her in. Her eyes soften at that and pink immediately fills her cheeks. She smiles coyly and surprises me by leaning in to kiss me. It was a very short kissâshort enough that nobody watching would have caught on. My paranoid girl. I chuckle slightly as I shut the door.
I shoot a quick message to B to ask how her and Mila her doing. Her reply comes in immediately, almost like she was waiting on it. It's a picture of her and Mila doing some paintings on Brontë's floor. I see specks of paint all over her beige carpet that she loves so damn much and feel a pang of guilt.
B
We're fine. Gonna order some pizza for dinner.
I venmo her 50$ and tagged it dinner. Then I send her an additional 250$ with the tagline. For a new carpet. Send it back and get f*cking blocked.
I go on to iMessage to respond to her.
CHARLIE
I'm not kidding B. Don't send it back. I know how much you love that shit.
B
It doesn't cost 250$ though.
I venmo another 250$ which she sends right back.
B
It cost less you idiot! Stop texting me. Go have fun. Say hi to Lorraine.
I put my phone on DND, determined to shut off all outside noise and focus on the brunette sitting in the passenger seat of my car. When I get in my car, Lorraine eyes my phone suspiciously but doesn't say anything. "It's Brontë. She's babysitting."
She nods, her mouth forming an "oh".
"You know you can always ask me who I'm texting." I tell her as I pull out of the spot I'm parked in. I glance at her swiftly, "I'll always tell you. Even though it's probably only ever going to be people whom you already know."
She doesn't say anything, but I see a small smile tug at her lips as she nods. She focuses on the road and I do the same. "Where are we going?" I hear her words float to me.
"To your complex to pick up your stuff."
Despite focusing on the road, I can sense her eye roll at my reply. "Duh. I meant after that, smart-ass."
"It's a surprise." I tell her proudly. "You'll see when we get there."
And it is a surprise. I spent the last few days ensuring everything goes exactly to plan. I haven't planned a date in ages âbecause I haven't been on any since Alexia. And most of the ones I went on with Alexia, she planned them. Kind of a shitty thing to admit to myself but that was the first step I needed to take. One of the reasons why I was scared of being with Lorraine is because I was a shitty boyfriend to Alexia. A part of me always knew that. And that same part was so ashamed of the realisation that I tried to deny it.
Alexia and I met halfway through freshman year at one of the obnoxious parties Sawyer threw. Being one of the college star players in freshman year brought me a popularity like never before, I could have had any girl I wanted but Lexi grew on me pretty quickly. I didn't think it was going to last as long as it did, but somehow, she was tagged my girlfriend and we just went with it. I was too focused on basketball to analyse whatever our relationship was. It was f*cking selfish of me. I should have let her go. There wasnt much feelings there âI mean, we had good times but I don't think I was ever 100% emotionally available to her.
But she could have left. I sure as hell wouldn't have stopped her. Instead she chose to sleep with my best friend. We weren't perfect, but I never looked at another girl. Ever.
I look at Lorraine briefly and realise one important thing. This is so f*cking different from that. I know exactly what it is I want from this pretty brunette in my passenger seat. I want all of her. The good, the bad and the uglyâI hope it the ugly never outweighs the good. I want everything she has to offer to me, damn I'd take the f*cking crumbs if that's what she thinks I deserve. And in return, I'll put the f*cking world at her feet because she deserves all of it and more. And I want her to know that, without any doubt. I will show her in every way that I can. I will atone for every single hurt I've put her through and I'll make sure she never cries again because of my actions.
And that's a f*cking oath.
****
The drive to her complex is relatively quick. Lorraine assured me that she's fine with going up to grab her stuff, but I refuse to let her do that by herself. I come out of the car and pull the door open. She smiles and climbs out of her seat with my help on her waist. When I place her on the ground, she looks up at me with those eyes. Her tongue sweeps over her lips innocently and I find myself mesmerised unable to look away. Wanting her in my mouth. I'm dying to kiss her. But I don't. Not now.
The elevator ride is worse. Lorraine holds me in a tight embrace for the entirety of both journeys up and down. Like she's scared to let me go. Like she thinks I'm going to disappear.
"I'm not going anywhere," I assure her, holding her tighter. She lifts her head from where it's resting on my chest and stares up at me.
"Promise?"
I can't help the smile that breaks on my face at the sound of her small voice. I drop a kiss on her nose which she scrunches up in an attempt to shake me off. I chuckle lightly. My cute girl. "I promise."Â I tell her when she finally stops squirming and has resettled her gaze on my face. "You're stuck with me, sophomore."
The word forever is at the tip of my tongue, but I keep it from slipping out as the doors to the lift part open. Not now. She's not ready.
I'll wait however long it f*cking takes.
Hi guys, I wanted this to be a double update but I'm forced to post second part tomorrow!
See you tomorrow guys and thank you all for sticking around and reading my book!