My bra comes off first, and my underwear follows. I can feel Charlie's eyes on me throughout the whole process, and I can't bring myself to look at him. Call me a coward, but I'm scared of what I'll see. I'm naked in front of him-vulnerable-with all my insecurities laid bare on a platter of gold for him to see.
"Look at me." He commands almost like he can read my thoughts.
I force my eyes to meet his, and the intensity of his gaze makes me swallow hard. Charlie is staring at me with that familiar heated look that sets every part of me on fire. The look that makes me feel wanted. Enough. And somehow, all the anxiety that has built up inside me about being naked in front of someone else for the first time becomes a tiny box in the back of my mind. I can't seem to access it no matter how hard I try. Not when Charlie is staring at me like I'm the most wondrous thing to exist.
It scares me that I want nothing more than to be looked at by him like this forever, but I can't stop myself from saying.
"You're staring."
"I know," he replies softly. His eyes travel down, then he says. "It's hard not to. You look amazing." His eyes glimmer when they return to my face as his lips stretch into a lopsided boyish grin. "Your tits look f*cking amazing. I don't know how to say this without sounding like a total perv, but I've been thinking about seeing them again since the day I walked into your room without knocking."
It's hard to believe that Charlie, the guy who has been with numerous girls, is standing in front of me and admitting that he thinks I look amazing and that he has been thinking about me naked. It's tough to believe. Never in a million years would I have thought this would happen.
But it's precisely what's happening. And holy shit, I realise as I take a breath, it's so f*cking hot.
"So why are you still standing there?" I don't know where the sudden burst of confidence comes from, but all I know is that I need to feel Charlie's hands on me again. I need him-painfully.
Charlie yanks his shirt over his head and strips out of the shorts he's wearing, leaving him in his briefs. I drink him in. He's all chiselled muscles and abs-Hard, solid, ready. A shiver runs down my spine, and Charlie grins.
Before I can tell him not to boast, his lips are back on mine hungrily, and every rational thought dissipates into nothing when they travel down my neck-leaving a trail of hot, wet kisses everywhere. My earlobes, the hollow between my breasts before capturing my right nipple, my stomach-and Oh God, lower. I feel a tingle in my lower abdomen, similar to that of when on a rollercoaster or when my mum drives too fast down a slope. It's becoming difficult to focus on breathing when all I can think about is how I can feel him everywhere. His mouth glides down my thigh, one hand squeezing my hip delicately whilst the other kneads my breast.
"Spread your legs." His voice is commanding but so gentle that I find me answering. My eyes shut tightly in expectation and excitement of what's to come. "Eyes on me for now, princess."
When my eyes manage to flutter open to look at Charlie, the boyish grin is gone and is replaced with a gaze, so heated everything in me comes roaring to life. He settles between my thighs, his eyes not leaving mine for once. But I'm too dazed to realise what's happening until I feel one hot lick along my vagina-all the way from my opening to the bundle of nerves at the top.
I gasp loudly, and my hips jerk at the sudden gush of warmth. Charlie lifts his head, a grin playing on his face as he grips my hips in place.
"Feels good, huh?"
I'm too stunned, too shocked to speak. He's eating me out. For one second, I feel exposed, but then I start feeling oddly at home in my body, and all I know is he has to do it again. "Keep going." I croak out breathlessly. I didn't have to repeat it because what I feel next is even better. Charlie is devouring me. His tongue pushes into my opening before flicking on my clit ever so lightly. Every time I feel the wetness on my sensitive part, there's an explosive like sensation in every part of my body-my ass, my pussy, my breasts, my throat. F*ck it's like every single part of me is connected at this point, and I can't breathe.
I have no time to prepare for the feeling of a finger entering me. Charlie is a Division 1 basketball player. His hands are not regular. His fingers are not regular fingers. "F*ck." I whimper, almost on the verge of tears. My hands fist into the sheets, and my back arches.
Charlie's tongue laps up and down as a second finger slips inside of me-easily, because I'm so wet-stretching me out. A small cry escapes my mouth before I can stop it, and my free hand digs into the back of Charlie's head.
"Am I going too fast?"
I can only manage a moan. But when I don't feel any friction, I wriggle against him. "Not fast enough." I croak. I can barely catch what he says after that over the pounding in my ears-the pounding in my heart, over the want to reach something.
"Fuck," Charlie rasps as his teeth graze the side of my thighs, his fingers thrusting in at an angle I never thought possible. I can feel myself pulsating, wrapping around him. "You taste so f*cking good. You're driving me crazy."
The rhythmic pressure of his fingers and tongue makes me go through a wide range of emotions ranging from gratitude to joy to helplessness, excitement and pure, fiery lust. Charlie's voice whispers sweet, dirty things to me, and I feel light exploding through my body. I'm grinding against him as much as I can, chanting his name like a plea. A plea for less and more because there's something I have to reach. Something is coming.
"Charlie." I cry as my body fights this foreign feeling that's threatening to overcome me. I let out a whimper when his hand comes to squeeze my breast, sending another wave of electricity down my back. "Please."
"What do you want?" He grunts. "Tell me, sophomore."
"I-"
"Come on. Talk to me."
"I'm trying." I croak. Feeling utterly helpless. Powerless. Like there's an electric force roaming around my body, trying to connect every part of me. My entire body is aware of the warmth Charlie's tongue is imposing, making me feel raw, exposed. It terrified me. "Please."
Charlie is ruthless-his mouth closes on the most sensitive part of me as his fingers continue to ram inside me, and I let out a guttural sob, my whole body tensing up at the sudden increase in pace and pressure. "Stop fighting it; I've got you. Let go for me."
I do.
Nothing could have prepared me for the shock of electric current that works its way through my body. I gasp, my abs clench tightly, my legs twitch, and there's a visual explosion of lights, and I feel like I'm floating out of my own body. But then, slowly, it fades. And then it was gone, leaving me shuddering and shaking as I came back to reality. And it's not until I feel Charlie gathering me into his arms that I realise that I'm crying. And not just some good ol' regular tears. I'm talking full-on sobs racking through my chest.
"Hey, hey, hey," Charlie whispers as he pulls the sheets over us. I want to open my mouth and tell him that I'm not sad. That these aren't tears of sadness. But I have no control over my body. I have no control.
"I'm sorry." I bury my face in his chest, feeling embarrassed. But Charlie doesn't say a thing. He holds me close and let me cry, occasionally telling me that I'm okay until I fall asleep.
It's not how I imagined the night ends.
****
I wake up before my friends the following day and escape our apartment. Even though they were a huge part of yesterday, from how I looked to raising my confidence level high enough to get me out the door, I'm not ready to share what happened last night with them just yet. I want to be selfish with the memory, even if it's only going to be for a few hours. I want it to be mine and Charlie's alone. I like the reality of it to sink in before sharing it with another human being. It's the reason why I'm currently sitting alone in Starbucks. My laptop is open in front of me, but I have no clue what documents is displayed on the screen.
All I can think about is Charlie's head in between my legs, and my entire body flushes with heat. Oh, God. Charlie is talented with his tongue. I didn't think a human tongue could do what he did to me last night.
Now imagine what his -
"Hey."
I jump when Isaac's figure comes into view. There's a puzzled look on his face as he pulls out the empty seat in front of me. I had forgotten that I told him to meet me at Starbucks today because I felt horrible for cancelling him last minute on Saturday. I was so nervous about the charlie thing that I chickened out of all my plans and buried my nose inside school work.
"I'm so sorry. Did I scare you?"
"A little, but it's fine," I say with a nervous laugh.
He places a cup of coffee next to my almost empty one. "I ordered you a latte-I hope you don't mind? Showing up empty-handed didn't feel right. It's also kind of an apology for my friend's big mouth at the game. He's not always insensitive, I promise."
My mind flies back to Cipher's question. He had asked if the rumours about Charlie and I weren't true. Although, technically, the rumours aren't true because I didn't sleep with Charlie to write that article-still haven't slept with Charlie (for now)-but I still feel a stab of guilt as I pull the drink towards me. "Thanks for the coffee, and you don't need to keep apologising about that. It was an innocent question that I'm sure everyone's dying to ask me."
"Well, for whatever it's worth, I didn't believe it for one second."
"Really? Why?" I watch him as I take a sip of the coffee, immediately thankful that it's a flat white and not just plain black coffee. Flat white is not my favourite unless I'm trying to pull an all-nighter, but I'd choose it over black coffee any day. He squints slightly like he's assessing me. Then he smiles, and I can't help but realise how his smile compliments his face.
"I just didn't." He shrugs and leans back in his seat. "So, what did you study last night?"
"Huh?"
"Last night. You said you were going to study?"
"Oh, that. Yeah, I got some studying done," I swallow nervously at the lie. "Nothing major. How about you? What did you get up to yesterday?"
"Watched some anime all day." I scrunch up my face, and he laughs. "I take it you're not a big fan."
"I think anime is tactless and boring. I've never been able to sit through one episode of Naruto without falling asleep."
"Ah, Naruto," he says, leaning forward again with a small smile. "Naruto's pretty overrated, in my opinion. The show's got too many plotholes. I can assure you that there are way better anime series out there that would have you captivated from the very first episode."
"I doubt it."
"So, what kind of movies and shows are you into."
"I watch everything."
"Not anime."
"Okay, everything apart from anime. From Hollywood to k-dramas, telenovelas, Turkish, Philippines, Nollywood, Indian. You name it; I've probably watched it-if It's a series, though. I hardly watch movies anymore."
"You watch Korean shows, but you hate anime?"
"No K-drama slander here, please." I shut my laptop, taking note that it would be 8 o'clock in about 35 minutes, and I had to walk to Statistics.
"Firstly, I'm half Korean. Secondly, Huntley's got me working on something about Korean international students, so I started watching some stuff myself."
"I've got a meeting with her tomorrow afternoon. She wants me to write a new piece." I tell him, remembering the thing that has been bugging me for a while. Huntley was kind enough to give me a few weeks off because of what happened after my first article, and now she wants at least two pieces from me every week to make up for it. "I don't know what it's about yet. I-"
My eyes catch a movement behind Isaac's head. It's Charlie-he's laughing at what the girl behind the counter is saying as he picks up his order. I didn't see him walk in, and for reasons I can't explain, I'm praying that he doesn't see me. (Ok, I know why I don't want him to see me. Last night didn't exactly go as planned). But things don't work like that, mainly because I'm sitting right in the middle of f*cking Starbucks. Just as he turns to leave, Charlie's eyes land on mine then moves to the back of Isaac's head. His eyebrows raise slowly.
"Shit," I mumble under my breath when he starts walking over.
"What?" Isaac cluelessly asks, but I can't answer because Charlie's already standing over our table. The look on Charlie's face feels like a bullet to the chest. Anger? No, no, it's not anger. It's something much more painful. He looks hurt.
I swallow forcefully, my eyes flying to the two-cup disposable coffee tray in his hand. The one on the left has my name scribbled on it. I only have a moment to process that the coffee's mine.
"I've been calling you." Charlie's voice is cool-too calm for someone who ate me out some 5 hours ago. Oh God, I blink a few times as I try to decipher what he's thinking, but all I see is his head in between my thighs, and I groan softly, looking away.
"No, you haven't."
"Yes, I have." He insists. I pull out my phone from my tote and wince at the seven missed calls displayed on the screen-two from Elle and five from Charlie. I wave my phone at him as I suddenly remember putting it on silent to avoid picking up my friend's calls.
"Sorry, I put it on silent."
"The next time you sneak out in the middle of the night, make sure your phone's not on silent. At least then I can know you're on a date and not dead in a ditch somewhere."
I want to tell him that he's got it all wrong, and this isn't a date, but the part of me that wants to get back at him for being so cold gets the best of me.
"Got it," I say, stealing a look at Isaac, who's watching us in confusion.
"Well, I'll leave you two to it then."
And then he was gone.