I lean back in my seat and take a deep breath. Holy shit. I think to myself as I stare at my phone again, this time letting the words I'm reading under the post (a cropped screenshot of the message I sent to him before I left the house) sink in.
Way to get it started! A special day for @uclambb. Was nervous to get back on the court today but with these beautiful words of encouragement from @lorraineperabo day 1 is bound to be special ð¤.
That is not all.
There's a pinned comment from someone asking exactly what I'm scared of.
gabryull isn't that the girl from the interview?
murtaugh13 Everything I said on that interview was bullshit. Shut those rumours down.
I swallow. The first comment has over 200 likes but Charlie's reply is close to 500.
My Instagram and Twitter keep going on with notifications so I go on my settings and turn it off for both apps. I need to think. But I have no time to think because soon we're pulling up to the parking lot of Pauley Pavilion.
***
It is an unexpectedly brutal game for the Bruins. The score has been close from the very beginning. The Minnesota Golden Gophers are playing extremely dirty but the referee is being biased as f*ck by not awarding some of the fouls.
Our players are visibly angry and it seems to be getting the other team off. Especially number 6. Herbert. The guy has been all up in Dante's face and a fight almost broke out. Riley had to call a time out and pull both Dante and Charlie out of the game to cool off.
According to Isaac, the Gophers have it out for our team because their best player got suspended for last year's tournament due to a feud that happened off the court between Dante and the guy. Something about a racist comment was made. This, fortunately, meant that they didn't make it to the finals and now they're back to make sure we don't make it at all.
Whoever loses this game is out permanently.
Our players are stressed-it's evident on all of their faces. We're getting to the end of the first half of the game and the Timberwolves are two points ahead of us.
I feel second-hand tension wash over me as I watch Charlie from the bleachers. He's very angry. I can tell from the way he's moving his legs where he's seated next to Ryan on the bench.
"Riley needs to put Kingsley and Murtaugh back in," Isaac says just as Elle shoots me a message on our group chat.
Headache: Why the f*ck isn't coach substituting them back in!!?? The first half is about to end already!
Unfortunately, we're not seated next to each other so the only way I can communicate with them is through the group chat.
They look pissed.
Headache: I'd be pissed too if a guy got in my face like that and I could do nothing about it.
The first half ends with the gophers 4 points ahead of us. Charlie springs to his feet to meet the players coming off the court and they all huddle up with the coach. They look like they're in a heated conversation, probably about what's going to happen in the next half. Cypher and the guys excuse themselves to refill their drinks leaving me with Isaac which, if I'm being honest, I prefer. I feel tonight would have been better with just him.
"So what's the deal with you and the captain?" Isaac asks casually as we take a seat. We've been standing since we got here. He's watching me which makes me tense up slightly. I don't know why mentioning Charlie makes me edgy all of a sudden. Has to do with that post. I feel a blush creep up my neck at the remembrance.
"Charlie?" I try to match his coolness, turning to look at him "What about him?"
"Are you guys dating?"
His question is unexpected and catches me off guard. But then again, it shouldn't be surprising. Here I am in the guy's jersey with my name plastered on his Instagram.
"No," I reply carefully. It's hard for me to read the intentions behind his question so I ask him "why?"
"Nothing," He shrugs with a coy smile, readjusting the strap of the Nikon D6 camera hanging on his neck. He has been taking pictures for a piece he's writing "you just don't strike me for the type who goes for athletes." My eyebrows shoot up immediately, unimpressed by his statement. He must have realised how he sounds because he shakes his head apologetically "what I mean is you're not like other girls who jump on every athlete they come across-I'm making it sound worse aren't I?"
"Yes," I say, a little hurt and he flinches.
"I'm sorry. I'm wording this whole shit wrongly. I'm so f*cking nervous that I don't know what I'm saying-"
"You're nervous?" I ask, confused "what are you nervous about."
Isaac studies my face but doesn't say anything. Instead, he runs a hand through his thick black hair and smiles. "Doesn't matter," he says "What I'm trying to say is that I think you're a nice girl and I'd like to get to know you better."
The thought that someone is even offering to be my friend makes me happier than I thought it would. That fact that he's calling me nice when the only time we've seen each other he was the nice one says a lot about him.
"So girls that like athletes aren't nice?" I tease. Isaac's face flushes and I laugh "I'm kidding. I know what you mean. And, I'd love to be your friend too. I mean-you've seen me get reprimanded by Melissa and have a panic attack-you know half of my dirty secrets."
The other half would be that I am one of the girls who happen to like an athlete.
"Melissa's a bit of a hard-ass but you'll get used to her eventually," he reassures "she reminds me of my halmeoni who, by the way, is a total badass. Have you got grandparents?"
The thought of my abuelas in Colombia brings a smile to my face. I haven't seen them in ages and I miss them dearly. "I've got my mum's parents in Colombia. They're sort of anti-America so I don't see them as much as I'd like to."
My phone buzzes and it's a message from Elle.
Headache: Finally!! I think the coach is gonna substitute our guys in.
I look up and see that Charlie, Dante, Sawyer, Ryan and Bradley are now on the court warming up. The 15 minutes break will be up in a couple of minutes and the second half of the game will begin.
"How often do you travel to Colombia?"
I look away from my phone. "Not a lot. I've only been there three times my entire life. Do you think we're gonna win this game?"
Isaac shrugs. "The odds are sort of against us right now. I'd prepare for the worst." I bite my lips nervously "for someone who isn't interested in sports you seem worried."
That's because I am worried. Except I'm not worried about the game but rather about Charlie. He was pretty anxious about the night and I wanted this to be a happy ending for him.
Before I can reply, the guys return. Cypher hands me a cup of Fanta and a hotdog as he shuffles past me. "Consider this an apology," he says with a wink. I smile at him thankfully as I accept it. I didn't realise how hungry I was until the smell of the sausage hit my nose. We didn't get any food because we didn't want to miss a huge part of the start.
A minute before the game starts, worried fans go into a sombre version of our fight song as the players get ready for another 20 minutes of playing. I take a bite of my hotdog to calm the squirming in my lower belly.
Only 2 minutes into the game and Bradley has been fouled against.
"This ref should be fired." One of the girls a row beneath of says to her friend. They're both brunettes and are dressed similarly in cut out black shorts and a very cropped blue top. I can't see their faces but I do imagine them with a bit too much and war pain underneath their eyes.
"Poor Bradley," the other one cooes "we should definitely-" whatever she's saying they have to do is drowned out by the loud sound of everyone cheering.
Ryan scored a jump shot.
The rest of the game is one hell of a rollercoaster-at one point we were leading and then they were leading. By the end of the game and an additional 5 minutes overtime, it's a tie. The gophers call a time out before another 5 minutes of extra time is added and the Bruins drag to their Coach too. There haven't been any substitutes since they got back in yet they don't look tired.
Oh, what it is to be a Division I basketball player.
Everything changes during this extra time. We get one point ahead and everyone on our side starts cheering so loudly I think my eardrums will explode. It's only one point. Not enough to guarantee a win. But as my eyes flicker to the timer, I realise there are only 15 seconds left till the end of the game. The crowd is going crazy and my whole body is flush with adrenaline. It feels like everything is in a slow mode as I watch Charlie take the ball across the court.
He's looking at the clock too. He's taking his time-like he's got all the time in the world.
He's stalling. Wasting time.
10 seconds.
One of the gophers tries to steal the ball but Charlie tosses it to Bradley before he could. Bradley bulldozes past the guy defending him and throws the ball in the hoop.
It was a hell of a clean shot.
***
As the hype of winning dies down and everyone starts to leave the pavilion, I say goodbye to the guys who are leaving with some girls they met at the hotdog truck before going in search of my friends with the promise of meeting Isaac at Starbucks the next day. There's a celebration thing going on at the quad but the girls are finding it hard to make their way down because it's packed and there's a bit of traffic where they are.
The players are still on the court-something about having a media obligation. They must speak to these media people since college basketball gets a majority of its funding from media companies that want coverage in return. Charlie can't see me from where I'm standing-people are scattered everywhere on the court-but I can see him.
Scratch that, everyone can.
Despite being surrounded by a string of athletes, Charlie stands proud and tall in the middle of the court. His broad shoulder flex as he uses his jersey to wipe his face before running his hand through the mop of slightly damp with sweat hair. His side profile is the same as looking at him directly. Chiselled, sharp, something out of a Greek story. Although he's visibly worn out, Charlie Murtaugh still manages to look dreamingly handsome, making it impossible to not stare like a love-struck puppy.
It seems I'm not the only one in awe of the player because a group of girls walk past squealing and giggling in excitement. One of them asking "Do you think he's still single?"
However, Charlie doesn't seem to care about the looks he's getting. He looks relieved when the reporter in front of him directed her attention to the group of Timberwolves making their way to the exit.
My phone buzzes forcing me to tear my gaze away from him.
mamita: you should say hi to him instead of standing there and staring like a freak.
I look around but don't see my friends.
mamita: stop searching, you look lost.
where are you guys?
mamita: I'm the eyes you can't see lurking in the shadows. I see everything..
I roll my eyes
I don't think it's a good idea to be seen with Charlie.
I know for a fact that people think that Charlie and I are dating after that post. My friends said it was becoming a thing on Twitter. Although twitter fingers shifted their attention to the game, it still makes me anxious. I don't want it to bother me -hence why I stopped myself from thinking about it through the game-but the thought popped up in my hand now and then.
That post solidified the fact that I'm so into Charlie.
It's a fact. I can't deny it anymore.
And it makes me analyse every little thing the guy does. Like, why he made the Instagram post. Is it because he likes me too? Or is he just appreciating me as a friend? All the questions are in my head and I have no answers.
Mamita: well too late because he's approaching you. Look alive
I realise I've been spotted and now Charlie's sauntering over with the biggest f*cking grin I've ever seen. Directed at me. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to know that he's happy to see me here.
The thought knocks the breath out of my lungs.
I notice that a few people are watching him walk over. It makes me swallow hard.
"Hi." That boyish grin is not leaving his face as he ignores the eyes blatantly staring.
"Hi," I manage to croak out. Suddenly I'm a nervous wreck. I have no idea why this happens. I'm very aware of the people staring and it makes me a tad bit uncomfortable. I do my best to ignore it.
"You came." I'm not sure if the double entendre was intended but I don't miss it and my cheeks burn. His eyes blaze as they flick down to give me a once over. "And my jersey looks so f*cking good on you."
I want to tell him it looks better off me but I'm not that ballsy.
"Thank you," I choose instead with a smile "Congratulations. You guys were amazing."
"Thank you." He replies. "What changed your mind?"
"I came here with people, actually." I feel a little proud as I say this.
"Your friends?"
"Well, no. I just met them today. I sort of know one of them. He's interning at the daily Bruin-they're all interning there- but I just met the other 3 today. Anyways, he invited me out with them. We were supposed to catch the game at some bar but the place was packed so we used the tickets you gave me." Charlie reels back a little and I can tell that's not the answer he wants. I want to come clean and tell him I'm really here for him but I can't. There's too many f*cking eyes and ears on us.
"You taking off now?" When I nod absentmindedly, Charlie's eyes surf our environment before resting on my face. He pinches the bridge of his nose then drops his hand to rest on his waist. "Listen, there's a get together happening at mine. Wanna come?"
My first instinct is to say no. But I bite my tongue before I can. Instead I choose: "how many people are going to be there?"
"Not a lot-the team and a few friends." I bite my lips anxiously as I roll the thought over in my head. Charlie senses my hesitation and presses softly, "any moment you feel like it's too much for you we could just go up to my room."
That's when I realise that he knows I'm uncomfortable being here, standing in front of him whilst the world watches. I feel my heart squeeze a little.
"And do what?" I blurt stupidly.
"Talk, watch a movie or whatever you want to do." Whatever you want to do. I can think of plenty things I wanna do in Charlie's room that don't involve talking or watching a movie. As if he's thinking the same thing, Charlie's eyes blazes and my skin boils. "Or I could drop you off at yours if we can't come up to an agreement?"
It is an enticing offer. And although I'm a little terrified as I mumble an airy ok, the smile I catch on Charlie's face is absolutely worth it. I release a deep breath "But I'm not drinking because I've got to study tomorrow and my friends come too."
"Done."