Chapter 52: Chapter Fifty-Two

LOGAN

“This isn’t—” Rae heaves into the toilet “—how I wanted to tell you.”

My insides turn to ice. No. She can’t be.

Her arm forms a makeshift pillow on the toilet seat. With her free hand, she fumbles around inside her purse.

Slowly, she pulls something out, scratching the paper against the tile floor as her hand trembles.

My eyes follow the black photo with a little white…something in the middle. It’s small, so damn small. Little arms and legs. Tiny fingers, barely visible.

Rae studies my face, searching for a reaction. “I came right here when I found out for certain,” she whispers. “I’m—” She sniffles loudly “—ten weeks.”

~A baby. Inside Rae~.

“Logan, you have to say something,” she sobs.

~My baby. Inside Rae~.

“Rae, I… Are you going to…”

“Yes, but you don’t h-have to. I w-won’t m-make you pay or anything. I just…” She dissolves into tears again. “I’m s-so sorry.”

~Sorry~? “Rae…” I cup her face in my hands and, completely disregarding the fact that she just puked her guts out, press my lips to hers.

We stay like that, together, for a brief moment, until Rae pulls her head away and stares at me, wide-eyed.

Guilt and self-hatred converge in my chest like a storm. How could I have ever doubted my future with Rae, the woman I love so fucking much?

I allowed my feelings of inadequacy to cloud my judgment, to make me question the connection between us that’s so obvious, to give up this incredible woman who, by some miracle, wants me. Who wants my child.

Seeing her here before me, even curled up on the bathroom floor, I know that I did her wrong. I know that I’ll need to fight with everything I have to regain her trust. Because Rae is the love of my life.

It doesn’t matter that my family is broken or that hers doesn’t approve of me. Rae is my family. This ~baby~ is my family.

“Are you… Logan, please. How… How do you feel?”

“Happy,” I breathe.

Happy because she’s here. Happy because I might still have a chance to redeem myself. Happy because I’m going to be a father, because Rae and I created life.

The bright smile I’ve missed so much, the one that appears in my dreams to taunt me, blooms on her cheeks. “Really?” Her eyes glisten with tears and the sparkle that gleans on her less anxious days.

“Yeah… Holy shit, Rae. I’m… I’m going to be a dad.” The words don’t feel real yet, but knowing that they will, probably someday soon, makes me the happiest man in the world. It’s not even a competition.

The woman I love has my child inside her. Holy shit.

“I didn’t even think this was… I could be… But Zoe knew. She figured it out before I even…

“She made me take a test this morning, and then we went to the clinic, and I didn’t know what I was going to do, but I saw it—can I call a baby ‘it’?—and I just… I love her already. Can we call her “her”? I just feel it.”

“We can call her whatever you want.” As serious as this moment is, I can’t help but crack up. “Rae, you’re the one she’s making sick. You’re the one carrying her. You call the shots.”

“Can we…” She sighs, wiping her clammy forehead with a shaking hand. “Can we sit on the couch or…if you don’t mind me staying for a—”

“Stay,” I tell her firmly. “Stay. Let me take care of you.”

A smile overtakes my face as I lift Rae off the bathroom floor and lead her to the couch. She probably doesn’t need my help, but she deserves to be pampered and doted on and…everything.

Rae deserves everything in the world. I want to give her every last thing I can.

I want to bring her to doctor’s appointments and watch my baby grow and hold her when the baby makes her sick and cook whatever she’s craving and—

“Stay, like…”

“Move in.” I pause when she stares at me, wide-eyed. ~Shit, Logan. Time to backtrack~. “If you want. No pressure. I just want to be here for you every second of every day.”

“I love you,” she mumbles, leaning into my chest. “I’d have to talk to Zoe, but she probably wouldn’t be that upset about not having to hold my hair.” She giggles. “You really… You really want this?”

I kiss the top of her head, earning myself one of the giggles I missed so damn much. “Yes. One hundred percent. I love you, Rae. So much. And I love her already.”

I trace my fingers over her belly. Nothing’s there yet, no bump, but someday… An image of tiny little Rae sporting a massive baby bump enters my mind. I can’t think of a more beautiful sight.

“Letting you go was the greatest mistake I’ve ever made. I’ll never forgive myself. I thought I was doing what was best, but—”

She kisses me softly. “Just promise you’ll never assume you know more about my limits or my needs than I do.”

“I promise.” The most important lesson of my life, learned the hardest way.

“And promise that you’ll never walk away from me again. It’s not just me now. This…” She bites her lip, searching for the words.

“I need to think about my baby—our baby—now, and I can’t…” She rolls her shoulders back. “You can’t leave your child.”

“I promise. I’ll do whatever I can to prove that you can trust me. That…” I swallow the lump in my throat. “That I’ll be the father our baby needs and the man you deserve.”

“Good.” Her voice rings with finality, and I love her for it. With Rae, forgiveness means letting go. We’re moving on, beginning another chapter, one where I’ll do everything in my power to be the man she deserves.

“So,” I start, “you want a girl?”

“Yes.” This might be the firmest I’ve ever heard Rae’s tone. “I want to teach her to be strong and overcome difficult situations, because I know what that’s like, and I had to learn it on my own.” She pauses.

“I guess I could teach a boy too, but I just want a little girl. Not that I want to give it up for adoption if she’s—well, he’s, I guess—a boy.”

“Your baby is going to be strong. It’s in her DNA.” Rae’s survived more shit than most people, and she came out stronger on the other side.

“You’re sweet,” she giggles. “I can’t… I can’t believe it. I don’t think I ever missed the pill.” Her voice is serious again. “This wasn’t… I mean, I love her already, but this wasn’t… This was a surprise.”

“Rae, you’re the last person in the world who would try to trap someone with a pregnancy,” I laugh.

She shrugs. “Maybe not the last. There’s a lot of men out there, Logan. A couple billion. Not sure if you’ve noticed.”

Our baby is definitely going to be a force to be reckoned with, just like her mother.

***

“I missed you, Logan,” Rae whispers. Her fingers tighten around my shirt, pulling me closer.

The feeling of her want is enough to send blood down south. It’s been too long. ~Way~ too fucking long. “I missed you too.”

“How much?” Her voice is playful and hoarse the way it sounds when she’s turned on.

I’m going to have to go down on her before we make love if I want it to be good for her. No chance I last more than a couple of minutes. I’m rock-hard and throbbing just thinking about the sexy woman standing before me.

“I’ll show you.”

She blushes, her pink cheeks cute and sexy all at once. I lift her shirt over her head to reveal a lacy red bra overflowing with her soft breasts.

My mouth is watering as I swiftly unzip her jeans and watch her wriggle out of the tight fabric.

“I missed your body,” she breathes. “Take your clothes off.”

Normally, I’d make her beg, but I don’t have the patience for teasing tonight. I need to ravish every inch of her perfect body. I let my primal instincts take over and kiss her plump lips.

She parts them willingly for me, sliding her tongue into my mouth and moaning softly as I play with the lace on her panties. She’s wet already, soaked through the fabric. I’ll be lucky to last two minutes inside her.

I steer her fumbling hands to my belt. She tugs impatiently, and I have to swallow a chuckle, one that turns into a groan when she finds my cock.

Her fingers are light, gentle, needy, as desperate to feel me as mine are to feel her. A shiver runs down my spine when her soft hand takes hold and massages my shaft.

~Fuck, that feels good. Too good~.

“I want you to come first,” I murmur.

She lets out a breathy moan and leans back against my pillows, legs splayed, inviting me in. I trail my lips down her body, tasting her sweetness, until I’m between her thighs.

Alternating between tossing her head back and gazing down at me, Rae clutches the sheets and trembles.

Her moans fill the bedroom when I envelop her lips and suck gently on her clit before working it with my tongue.

Rae shudders and bucks her hips, but I hold her down, taking control the way she likes me to. She cries out when she comes in my mouth.

Slowly, I pepper her body with kisses, moving from her center to her lips, lingering on her perfect breasts.

“Logan, that was…” She trails off. Before she can finish her sentence, my mouth is on hers, and she’s moaning as she tastes herself.

Her needy hands find my length once again, and they tease me, rubbing the head against her silky folds.

“Rae,” I warn.

She giggles and guides me inside of her. I’m lost in the sensation of her hot walls clenching around me as I slowly slide deeper, giving her the chance to stretch to fit my size.

She moans into my mouth at my first thrust. Gradually, I rock my hips with more and more intensity, finding the angle that sends her over the edge every time.

“Don’t stop,” she moans. “I’m— ~oh~! I’m going to come like— ~oh~! —like this.”

Rae begins to move her hips in sync with mine, chasing her pleasure. Animalistic sounds pour from our mouths.

Rae’s are raspy and so full of desire I lose myself. I’m getting closer, feeling Rae’s fingernails digging into my back, hearing her whimpers and soft curses.

“~Oh~! Logan, I’m—” Her walls clench, and she tosses her head back as she moans my name, her entire body quivering.

The feeling of her coming around me is too much. I slam into her one last time before I explode with my own climax.

We stay together for a few moments, catching our breaths and reveling in our connection. Rae pouts when I slip beside her. “I want to stay like that forever,” she sighs.

I laugh into her shoulder. “Give me a couple of minutes.”

As it turns out, I only need three before I’m hard again. “As you wish,” I murmur, and our bodies connect again.