Chapter 58: chapter 58

Rei's POV-------------Ah...So that's how it feels like when you're on the brink of death. The pain I felt when the bullet pierced me doesn't hurt anymore. I don't feel my whole body to be exact. It went numb all over. But why am I crying? Isn't this what I wanted? Am I not dying just like I wanted?No. I failed. In the end, Elora refused to take anything from me. She is free. Isn't she smart? The last favour I wanted to do, she didn't let me. Now, as I lie on this dirty floor with blood gushing out of my mouth and stomach, life seems to be flashing before my eyes. Reminding me of all the deeds I did. Shit. Zeco should have shot me one more time. So, I don't have to experience all these things. I should've died that very day when my father was trying to burn me to death. That fucking old man shouldn't have saved me. My parents owned a brothel. I've seen and known things that violated my mind since I was very little but no matter what, I can't seem to remember their faces. It's crazy to not remember the faces of your parents. It wasn't my fault when the brothel caught on fire that night. I forgot to blow out the candle. Any normal person forgets about a thing or two and I was only a child. The fire got caught in the shiny curtains. My parents got so furious. When I looked at them helplessly, all I remember is their eyes that seemed like they belonged to demons. They gawked at me with hatred. I've heard about it, the words about me being their mistake but I laughed it off. Why would a parent call their child a mistake?But that night, I realised that it was true. Whatever the brothel's women talked about was all true. They didn't love me. My mom and Dad. I cried. I was scared. So terrified. But I was angry too. It felt good that the whole shady building was getting consumed by the mighty flame. I laughed when everyone was panicking to their core. My father then grabbed me by the arms and dragged me towards the building. "Such an eyesore!" I heard him say that with the most disgusted voice. I closed my eyes and was ready to face my faith but then he came. That old man, like a thunder. He shot mom and dad like it was nothing. Then picked me up in his arms and brought me into his Palace.  Then years later, They came. Rodas, Jeremy and Zeco. Everything was alright. It should have been. Had I not lost my way and fallen for the same girl, whom Rodas loved. I confined my feelings well but they eventually spilt out and I lost my way. Every day my blood boiled seeing Elora together with Rodas. A small part of me wished I didn't feel that way but that small part didn't win and vanished when Elora announced her pregnancy. Then her accident happened. Rodas failed to protect her. She lost her memories.Mason approached me at a very peak time. He took advantage of my confusion and my desire for Elora. I was really mad at Rodas for causing her such pain. The seed of hatred for Rodas was already sown and watered by Mason. Living together with her blinded me while Rodas trusted me with everything.Tsk. How stupid. But in the end. It was a mess. Elora. She was never going to be mine. No matter what. Even if she lost her memories... It's all about Rodas. All I did was make her hate me and be stupid under Mason's feet. Yet, for the last time... I wanted to try to pay for whatever damage I did, even if it was just a little but Elora took it away from me.  The pistol that I fired at Elora was supposed to be fake. She was supposed to act dead.Ugh-I cough out more blood as I push myself to lie on my back. Did she change it? Why would she change it?Well, that's how it is then. I close my eyes. Why am I not dying yet?"You shouldn't have done that... Not to Jeremy!" Of course, Zeco wouldn't let me die with just one bullet. I look at him, standing above me with anger in his eyes. He grabs my collar and roars, "He did nothing to you..." Why would I want to harm Jeremy? The boy has been nothing but sweet to me. But to make Mason believe, I had to do it-Well, it doesn't matter anymore. I chuckle, gurgling blood as I speak, "If you love him so much then why did you fail to save him? Shouting at me wouldn't do anything," Zeco grits his teeth and his fist makes contact with my face. I can hear my own bones breaking. But it doesn't hurt anymore. "Fuck, why did you have to betray us? We were so good. Why did you do that to yourself?" Is Zeco crying? I can't see. My vision is blurry now. "WHY DID YOU BETRAY US?" He yells.I was stupid. Weak. Insecure. I'm sorry. Mom and Dad for being the mistake. I'm sorry.Everyone in Red Thorns, for I'll always remain as a stain in the organisation and bring a bad taste in your mouth. I'm sorry. Elora. Rodas.All I wanted was to love someone and receive the same amount. Jeremy. You'll always be the sweetest brother. I'm sorry, I failed you. Zeco. I'm sorry I betrayed everyone. Old man.I'm so thankful for that night. I was so relieved that you saved me. And...I'm sorry for losing control of myself and letting the demon inside me take over. I know thinking about all these words wouldn't change anything right now.So, Maybe in the next life.........