Sheena's POV
"Oh, Shee andito ka pa?" bungad ni Tita habang lumalapit sa akin. I sat all night in the waiting lounge. When the morning comes and Gweneth haven't waken up yet, our best friends decided to go home muna for their work.
Pero bago umuwi si Colet and Jhoanna, they handed me Ep's letter for his Ninang Gwen. It warmed my heart pero mas lalo lang akong umiyak when I read his message. His last sentence was, "Ninang, I love you so much more than Ninang Sheena. Please get well soon and let me take care of Nael. I'll let him borrow my spiderman collections. I can't wait to see you soon, Ninang Gwen."Â Colet said he wanted to come but it's still risky for a kid to be exposed in the hospital lalo na't nagtagal ang parents niya rito.
"Tita ..." I greeted her. She placed her hand on my shoulder with a warm smile.
"Anak, she's awake. You can go see her now." she smiled warmly at me.
Oh God. Thank you, she's finally awake. Before going inside, pinagsuot nila ako ng isolation gear because of the protocol. It was fucking uncomfortable at naiinitan agad ako but at least I could see her.
Dahan-dahan akong pumasok sa kwarto kung saan nakahiga si Gwen. There were machines surrounding her, tubes and stuff were connected to her. I bit my lip and smiled. "Hi?" mahinang sabi niya. Her simple hi sends me thousand of voltage. How can she speak softly and smiled warmly at me kahit alam kong nahihirapan na siya?
I sat on the chair beside her. "Hi, love." she looked so weak but she was still wearing THAT smile. 'THAT smile for Sheena only'.
"You scared me..." pinatong ko ang ulo ko sa kama niya at tiningnan siya,
She brought her hand to my hand and started brushing my hair. "I'm ... I'm s-sorry, love." she managed to speak. The doctor explained that her speaking was affected by her disease. I shouldn't force her to speak as much as possible.
I smiled sadly and nodded in understanding. "Alam ko ... Alam ko, Gwen." I sniffed and kissed her hand.
"Hindi ka pa natutulog?" tanong niya. I couldn't sleep without seeing her.
"I did. Natulog ako." I lied.
My tears were threatening to fall. Seeing her here, I feel so helpless. Mukha ring paiyak na siya, dahil siguro gusto niyang magsalita pero hindi niya pa kaya. "You know, I talked to kuya." kwento kko habang nakangiti. Her eyebrows were raised the same time her eyes widened. Hindi siguro siya makapaniwalang kakausapin ko pa si kuya after I found out that he lied to me about Gwen's sickness before.
"Yeah," I chuckled. "nagbonding kami, Gwen." she gave me an 'are you sure' look, causing me to laugh. "Yeah! Tanong mo pa siya ... Ang kulit nga non eh! Sabi niya mas malaki na raw sahod ko sa kanya." I shook my head.
"I heard your ... recording." kwento ko ulit. I don't mind talking for hours basta siya ang kausap ko. Mabilis ako mapikon at mabilis ako mainip pero si Gwen ang kahinaan ko.
"Oh," she uttered. "Were you ... scared?"
I frowned and shook my head. "Hindi ah!" I was horrified, but she doesn't need to know. She smiled and brushed my hair that's covering my face with her shaking finger.
"Sing for me?" bulong niya.
"Uhm, I don't really sing. Zumba nalang ako dito, pwede?" I joked but I saw her face. Her eyes were pleasing, paano ako makakatanggi neto? "Maybe I can try." I can't believe I'm doing this.
"Don't cut the lights, just take it slow. We're moving fast, we've lost control. But, I feel safe with you ..." I shyly sang and Gwen nodded with a smile, signaling me to continue. She drew soothing circles on my hand.
Love is brave, but I've been scared
I look around, see no one there
And still feel close to you
'Cause my life is like a bedroom door
Don't lead me in when you feel low
'Cause I might make a move
So what should I do in the darkness of you
When you light up my moon from July until June?
What would I do if there wasn't a you?
Would you sing about me like I sing about you?
You're my sunshine, you're my rain
You're all I've lost, yet, all I've gained
If I must tell the truth
Hello darkness, goodbye light
I'll kiss you close and hold you tight
If that's alright with you
I'm coming back if that's alright with you
So come on back if that's alright with you
I swallowed hardly, blinking rapidly to prevent my tears to fall. I looked up to her and saw her smiling at me. Her hand caressed my face, making me lean against it. "I love you, My Sheena." she said before falling asleep.
Kasabay ng pagpikit niya ang pagpatak ng luhang kanina ko pa pinipigilan. I left a kiss on her forehead before leaving her room. Hindi ako makahinga kaya lumabas muna ako. That's when I received a message from Maloi.
Maloi: Hey, gising na raw si Gwenny? How is she?
Sheena: You can visit her if you want.
Maloi: Pang ilang araw na niya sa ICU?
Sheena: gago ka ba? Kakauwi niyo lang tas di mo alam? Second day niya ngayon.
Maloi: Hindi ka pa umuuwi?
Sheena: No. Salitan kami nila tita at tito. Minsan nagsasabay kami ni Valfer sa pagbantay.
Maloi: Can we visit her?
Sheena: The hospital's allowing two visitors.
Maloi: Akala ko isa lang?
Sheena: I talked to Colet's dad. We pulled some strings.
Maloi: Sige, bibisita kami after work. Umuwi ka muna, Shee. Maaamoy ka ni Gwen.
Sheena: fuck off!
Maloi: Sige na, I'll see you later.
Hinintay ko muna sina Tito para may kasama si Tita bago ako magpaalam na uuwi. I quickly threw on a white shirt and a pair of black jeans as I let my wet hair run down my back. Wala akong oras para magpatuyo ng buhok. I held my wallet, my keys, and my phone in one hand and stepped outside.
Bago ako makapasok sa kotse ko ay sinalubong ako ng mga naging kaibigan ko from College. "Uy! Shee!" bati nila. I nodded my head once and started opening my car.
Agad na sinara ni Tomas ang pintuan bago ako makapasok. "What?" I snapped.
"Saan ka ba galing? Hindi ka na namin nakikita kahit sa clinic mo." sambit niya habang sumasandal sa auto ko. Tangina ng mga 'to. Stell gave me a teasing smile and waved.
"Gago! Nagmamadali ako." I looked at the time on my phone. 5PM.
"Why? Tara muna, hangout," Stell invited. I glared at Tomas and he laughed. "Ano bang meron? Ano bang pinagkakaabalahan mo?" he asked.
You wanna know? My girlfriend is in the ICU. She collapsed in front of me and it took approximately 29 hours before she woke up. I wanted to say that.
"Kayo pa rin ni Gwen?" Tanong ni Stell. "Ay oo nga pala si Gwen. Kamusta kayo?" he addeed.
I huffed and bit the insides of my cheek. "Tatabi ka o ibabaon ko 'yang ulo mo sa windshield?" I gritted my teeth. Umiiling si Tomas at hinila si Stell.
"Fuck. Tara na, let her be." Tomas laughed.
Kumalas si Stell mula sa hawak niya habang nakatitig sa akin. "Angas mo talaga kahit kailan e no? We're being decent friends, trying to ask you how you are tapos ganyan ka." he scoffed. He jerked my hand away, causing me to drop my car keys. I inhaled sharply and picked it up.
No fights, Shee. I don't want you to be hurt, love. One punch. I wanted to punch him straight in the jaw. "Next time. Next time ka maghanap ng away, Stell." I said in front of him before entering my car. Kung hindi lang ako nagmamadali, nabasak ko na 'yong mukha niya.
"Kumain ka na ba?" tanong sa akin ni Tita.
"Ah ... Uhmm..." I awkwardly chuckled. I haven't eaten since Gwen was brought to the hospital. A few snacks maybe, but nothing major.
"Hay nako ka talagang bata ka! I'll run to the hospital's caf and buy you something to eat." she said and smiled.
"Ako nalang po, Tita." I offered.
"No, no. Kanina ka pa hinahanap ng fiancé mo, anak. You better go."
I peeked into the room and smiled as Gwen waved excitedly at me. She wasn't wearing an oxygen mask kaya kitang-kita ko ang ngiti niya.
"Hi bhie." I teasingly greeted. Alam ko kasing ayaw na ayaw niyang tinatawag ko siyang ganoon.
She shook her head. "It's love, not bhie," she playfully waved her finger at me.
"You're in a good mood." sambit ko habang inaabot ang buhok niya para suklayin ko.
"My speech is kinda ... good today." she smiled, showing her teeth. I love seeing her like this. Sabi ng doktor niya, her speech and motor skills depend on how tired she is. Kaya as much as possible, ayoko siyang pagurin.
"That's good, bebe. I'm so proud of you. Nagdinner ka na ba?" I asked.
She nodded like a kid. "How about you?" I parted my mouth to speak but ended up closing it. Ayaw kong nag-aalala siya sa akin, at the same time ayaw ko ring nagsisinungaling. Gwen frowned. "You haven't?"
"I will, love. Mamaya." sambit ko habang pinapatong ang ulo ko sa kamay niya. She slowly brought her hand to my hair and stroked it gently.
"Shee, love, you can't take care of me if you can't take care of yourself." she said carefully.
Gwen was never the one to put herself first. I didn't want to argue so I just nodded my head while looking up to her. "How's Nael, love? Naalala ko siya when I read Ep's letter." she asked.
"He's fine. Still obese and playful." I replied.
Gwen took a copy of a book and made me read for her.
"According to my experience, the conventional notion of a lover cannot be always true. The unqualified truth us, that when I loved Estella with the love of a man, I loved her simply because I foind her irresistible." I looked up at Gwen and saw her smiling.
"Once for all; I knew to my sorrow, often and often, if not always, that I loved her against reason, against promise, against peace, against hope, against happiness. Once for all; I loved her none the less because I knew it, and it had no more influence in restraining me, than if I had devoutly believed her to be human perfection."Â Nakatulog din siya eventually kaya inayos ko ang kama niya, placing a soft kiss on her forehead and mutterung an 'I love you' against her skin.
I love her against any reason, against any doubt, against any flow.