Chapter 38: CH 36

Chapter 36: Break

Gu Ningxi thought to himself, the fear and despair before death is probably similar to what he felt at this time, because the word “Separation” is like a vicious executioner, digging his heart and soul out of him. It felt like it was dragging out his stomach and intestines section by section. He felt crushed, with his bones and muscles smashed into fine powder, which made him feel so much pain.

That’s right, how naive, how stupid, how self-righteous he was, how could he insist on thinking that what the lady said about divorce and separation is simply just an expression of her dissatisfaction, which can be easily discussed, coaxed, and redeemed with?

From the seventh day of the month when she talked about “Divorce And Separation” with him, to the moment he woke up from his stupor, what had he done?

The first thing was to foolishly let his wife leave, even though she had clearly vomited and looked exhausted. He let her leave on her own and go back to her mother’s house.

The second thing was to misjudge the importance of the matter, and sit and wait all night in the Mo family courtyard. While seeing off his friend who just died, and accepting his request to entrust his sister.

The third was yesterday, when he decided to chase after his wife, but the whole thing turned out to be self-defeating, causing his wife to become even more angry with him, causing her to send more decisive words through Shihua.

‘But what is the root of the matter?’

Oh, yes, the Mo family’s Mo Qiqi, because he told his wife that wanted to take a concubine, and that he wanted to take Mo Qiqi in.

‘A concubine? Haha, Gu Ningxi, you call yourself a gentleman, how can you make such an absurd and crazy request? You first trampled on the righteousness of the couple, hurt your wife’s feelings, and still have the luck to hope that your wife will share the burden of a weak girl’s life with you? Or is it because she is the only woman in the whole world with a clear face that you can see, that’s why you couldn’t let it go?’

Gu Ningxi said to himself, and finally putting himself in Tao Xinhe’s position, and looking back on this absurd matter.

‘The lady is right. How can you still make her think that you have any affection for her? What’s the difference between you and a beast in men’s clothing?’

After criticizing himself to the bone, and regaining his tiny bit of sanity, Gu Ningxi finally saw through his hypocrisy and cowardice, and couldn’t help but look up. He raised his right hand and slapped himself across the face.

He, who was lying on his back with his head turned inward, made an amazing move. Although he was unable to leave due to the high fever, he still lacked strength, and the sound of his hands hitting his face was muffled, but it still shocked the servants around the bed curtain and looked at each other in a blank dismay.

The housekeeper guessed the master’s mind and took the initiative to gently advise, “Master, you just woke up, please take care of your body. The first thing you need to do is to take in some soft porridge and water to recuperate, okay? Is it because you miss your wife? Or, miss the one from the Mo family?”

Gu Ningxi covered his eyebrows with his right hand, rested his thumb on his forehead, and hooked his little finger to the corner of his eyes, using vicious strength as if trying to dig out his own eyes, to cover up the tears that had leaked out, and his fingertips were wet.

At that time, he was full of worry about the so-called “Villain” who hurt the weak woman because of him, so he was at a loss about what he had been doing. He didn’t even tell his wife to “Get Some Porridge Water” as a greeting when they met.

‘What kind of husband is he?’

The lady doesn’t want him anymore, and he deserves it. Even if she wants to separate from him he knew it was well deserved.

But What if… What if he repented?

Could he not take Mo Qiqi as his concubine? Can’t he look for another way to compensate the orphaned girl who has been physically and mentally damaged because of him?

In this way, will his lady forgive him?

As if his heart had received some sort of signal, it started beating violently in his chest. Gu Ningxi sat up slowly with the attentive support of the servants. He was out of his mind, and listened to the housekeeper’s report in an orderly manner.

“Master, the funeral for Mr. Mo has been settled, and everything is normal. The body has been put into the coffin, and it is arranged to be nailed on the first seven days. The condolences are in good shape, and the people in our mansion are taking care of the reception. Miss Mo, who is currently kneeling in front of the funeral, was worried about your high fever, but so far there’s nothing else.”

The housekeeper’s words made Gu Ningxi calm down. Yes, taking a concubine is what I personally agreed to the brothers and sisters of the Mo family, no matter how blank and impulsive it was at the time.

He finally understood how much this promise hurt the lady and also violated his own heart. The matter was not as simple as he imagined, as the mansion just wanted to protect another orphaned girl.

Compared with a righteous sister, a concubine is a completely different existence, and he himself ruined all of this. Brother Mo is now dead, maybe the spirit in the sky is looking at him, if he breaks his promise, will he offend the soul? Confucius said,

“Respect the ghosts and gods and keep them at a distance”, what if he was convicted for going back on his promise? It’s okay if it simply punishes him, but will it bring trouble to the surroundings? What if it even involved his wife?

There is also a wicked villain who hides in the dark, making Gu Ningxi unable to figure out what to do. How could someone bully a weak woman under the banner of seeking revenge?

The ability to see Mo Qiqi’s face clearly is the reason why he wanted to get closer to her, and it was also the beginning of her calamity.

Perhaps, without his intervention, the siblings would have long since returned to their hometown to recuperate, then three years later Mo Qi can return to the capital to take the exam again, Mo Qiqi can also marry into a happy family. Not at all like the current tragic situation she was in.

The more Gu Ningxi thought about it, the more twisted he felt, and he even got himself into a dead end. He didn’t even remember the premise of Mo Qi being ill all the time.

‘Such a terrible villain, why can’t he face him instead? Who the hell is he to hurt Mo Qiqi, will he also attack his lady?’

The tragic situation of Mo Qiqi appeared in front of his eyes. Gu Ningxi clearly remembered her swollen side face and squinted eyes. He was suddenly covered in cold sweat. If something happened to the lady and she became like this, it would be better to kill him instead!

He didn’t notice that the housekeeper went out and entered the room again. At this time, he said softly, “The Second Madam Gu is here.”

❖

Yesterday, Tao Xinhe was in the second household of the Gu mansion. Inside a small private space with only her and Second Aunt Gu, she confided a lot of her thoughts.

Looking at the kind and compassionate Second Aunt Gu, she heard her say “Good girl, you have been wronged.” over and over again. She decided not to hold back, and shed a few tears.

However, for Second Aunt Gu’s persuasive interjections, “Men all over the world are promiscuous in nature. Brother Xi is clean and self-sufficient, and he can’t bear the fact that there are too many thoughtful girls outside. He Niang can’t bear it, so let it go as it is.”

Tao Xinhe totally disagreed, and looked up at Second Aunt Gu, her eyes were shining brightly, like shining jewels that had just been polished, and she replied clearly, “Second Aunt also knows that It’s not an exaggeration to say that I have supported the Gu family for him, so that he can devote himself to studying his learning materials and not caring about anything else? What else should I do?”

Stunned by such firm eyes, Second Aunt Gu realized that she never seemed to think about it—”What do women want when they marry?” Isn’t that like what everyone else wants? They want to choose a husband to marry, take care of the housework, have children and raise them until their old age, and it will be considered a stable life.

Tao Xinhe asked her and answered, “I have always had a place to live in the Tao Manor. I was 20 years old and was still unmarried, even though there were only a few marriage proposals. I was also very proud and did not want to be seen as a high roller and be given charity. I once thought, what if I never married anyone in my life? I found that there is no difficulty, my father is bound to support me, I am also good at managing accounts, and my property has been successful, so it is only right to live a decent life.”

Aunt Gu heard it at the time, and murmured, “How can the little girl not marry?” But she was immediately fascinated by the detailed scenario described by her nephew’s wife, where she was able to provide for her father’s old age and live in a separate compound, where her younger siblings were all respectful, and where she had frequent contact with each of them, and where she had several friends, and could have fun and be alone. What’s wrong with having to worry about what’s new and interesting to eat and play every day, with no one in charge and no one to bow and scrape for?

Tao Xinhe continued to tell Aunt Gu about her mental journey when she was married, “When Gu Ningxi proposed marriage to me, he said that he respected my character. I thought that I had met a bosom friend, so I changed my mind about not marrying for the rest of my life, and was willing to try to get married to him. I hesitated, and wanted to wait for the two of us to get used to each other after marriage. Then I’ll explain to Gu Ningxi that I don’t like a third person being inserted between our husband and wife, so I thought about it, if he didn’t agree at the time, it would be fine for us to get together and separate, or to be a polite and distant couple.”

“But on the day Brother Xi married you, he said ‘A couple for a lifetime.’ We were all present as guests and heard it. Even to this day, This aunt still remembers how firm his resolution was when he said it.” Second Aunt Gu never expected that the wife of brother Xi, who has always been gentle and kind, would think that way in her heart. Following her description of the year, she recalled the wedding banquet for this niece-in-law.

Tao Xinhe nodded, she was about to say this, since she confessed her feelings to Second Aunt Gu, she wanted to say it smoothly,

“The second aunt is right. I didn’t ask the matchmaker to pass on this promise in advance. I heard it under the hijab at the wedding banquet. I was very surprised and grateful. I am grateful to God for letting me meet the right person. This is the reason why I wanted to remain together with him. So, I just want him as Gu Ningxi, and his heart. Although I dare not compare myself to a scholar, I spent more than three years with the feeling of repaying him as a confidant.” Tao Xinhe did not want to talk about her excessive contribution in the marriage, such as some mean women’s private comments, saying that she was sitting among male guests at all kinds of banquets for her husband, which is not decent at all.

Therefore, when Gu Ningxi said that he wanted to take a concubine. For her, in addition to the pain of being humiliated as a wife, it is more of an embarrassment that she feels that she has been let down and abandoned like a pair of shoes. Her own self, denied by her beloved husband, who she wanted to walk side by side halfway through life, and now she felt left behind by the companion who she watched and cared for.

She could no longer be in the same room with this man who had become an abomination in an instant, and even thinking of him made her feel sick.

To her, Gu Ningxi at this moment is no longer the husband she loves. Gu Ningxi, who used to dote on her, trust her, admire her, and rely on her, has disappeared. What exists now is just a character of the same name with a good-looking appearance, a dirty mind, and a treacherous character.

❖

Gu Ningxi was not in the mood to meet people, and the housekeeper added that Aunt Gu was said to have followed Tao Xinhe’s instructions.

The housekeeper was overjoyed, thinking that the message from his madam was a harbinger of reconciliation between the masters, but Gu Ningxi had a different premonition.

After tidying up his appearance a little, Gu Ningxi took weak steps and reluctantly walked to the reception flower hall. Facing the back of the restless elder, he greeted her in a hoarse voice, “Morning, Second Aunt.”

Second Aunt Gu heard Tao Xinhe say the whole story yesterday afternoon, and was extremely uncomfortable that she couldn’t sleep well at night. So she decided to set off from home at dawn and went to the New Gu residence.

The second aunt was obviously angry that her nephew would break his promise to his wife for another woman, so she thought she’d give him a hard time when she met him, but when she saw how haggard Gu Ningxi looked, she was immediately stunned.

At this time, Gu Ningxi was so weak that his gait was unsteady. After letting the guests sit, he sat on the armchair by himself, while holding on to a handle of the chair tightly to maintain his balance. He was in a trance, and Aunt Gu was also worried that the next moment he might be falling forward.

His face was pale and sick, his eyes were wandering, the corners of his eyes were tinged with a hint of red, there were even faint finger marks around it. His lips were chapped and slightly swollen, and he was breathing at the end of his nose. How could he still have the demeanor of an immortal in a painting?

Second Aunt Gu couldn’t help but sigh, he was still the child she watched grow up after all. So she said distressingly, “How did you trample yourself into this?”

Gu Ningxi smiled wryly, shook his head, and asked her what he wanted to know the most, “Second Aunt, are you saying that my wife went to see you yesterday? Do you have something to bring me?”

Second Aunt Gu tilted her head, coughed twice, and said, “Well, He Niang’s younger sister is staying at our house for a few days. She came to visit, and she told me about your affairs. She also asked me to convey a few words to Brother Xi.”

Gu Ningxi reluctantly sat up straight and took an attentive posture, but his heart was as clear as a mirror. He had a feeling that his wife came to ask his second aunt to visit him to urge him to agree with the separation.