13 | KNOTTED
Tying A Knot Would Be Easy If My Stomach Wasn't In One Already
Ivan's POV
Funerals are expensive.
The bill is split between my father, the Hopes and whatever money we received through crowdfunding. I personally didn't want to get the Hopes involved, they're already doing enough, but Dr Richard insisted and he happens to be very good at convincing people (like his older son). I'm positive he donated half of the crowdfunding we received but I decided not to bring it up.
It's been two days since Mama passed but it feels more like an eternity. The funeral's taking place in a couple of hours in the only cemetery in town. . And I don't have a suit to wear. Or the only suit I own is in my father's house and I have no wish to see him before I meet him at mama's funeral.
Besides, I'm not sure the suit would fit me anymore, now that I'm a couple of inches taller and more muscular than I was when I bought the suit.
Alexander Hope enters our room, wearing a white shirt and black trousers. His jacket is folded on his hand, a red tie placed on it. I'm still in my shorts and faded t-shirt.
He raises a brow. "Why aren't you--" he stops himself, perhaps in realization. "You don't have a suit?" He asks.
I bend my head downwards so that some of my long hair covers my face. I really need a haircut.
He sighs, then nods at me. "Come along," he says, glancing at the door and taking a step towards it, indicating that we were to go out of the room.
I look at him in confusion. "We're not going out shopping or anything," I tell him firmly. "We're not buying me a suit."
"All right," he agrees, without an argument, surprisingly. Then he gestures at the door again. "Now come along."
I follow him downstairs and then into a room I've never ventured into before. He stops in front of a massive cupboard and opens it. Inside there's an array of formal jackets and trousers and ties, in every appropriate color and every style possible.
"Whoa," I blurt in amazement.
"I used to work in Louis Vuitton," he explains. "And whenever there was a clearance sale, I'd get an employee's discount and bring them all home. Except for a couple, I've worn most of these only once or so. What a shame."
I survey the suits. Blues and Blacks, mostly. Some grays and browns, and there's one green suit. "Where do you work now?" I ask.
"A local ice cream shop." He chuckles. "So now I don't have to worry much when I have to treat my friends."
I shake my head, still looking at the suits in awe.
"I should take you there someday," he says. "The ice cream shop."
I stare at him. "They'd love to have a Wildcat in their store, wouldn't they?"
"The rivalry!" He exclaims as he sighs and leans against the wall next to the cupboard. "How could I forget?" He shakes his head and mutters something to himself which I can't pick up.
"What?" I ask.
"No, nothing." He shakes his head, dismissing my question. "You can pick anything you want. I told you, I don't use them much. Don't hesitate."
Sighing, I turn my attention back to the suits. My eyes land on a classic black suit with three buttons and a notch lapel. I pick the suit out and feel its fabric. Soft and firm, like any good suit would be.
"Great choice," he says, and I wonder who he's complimenting. Me for picking the suit out, or himself for choosing the suit in the first place.
"That's one of my favorite blazers," he says. "That's the only one I've worn more than half a dozen times."
My stomach clenches as he picks up a pair of black trousers that goes with the jacket I just chose. He then brings out two ties - one light blue and the other, a bright red - and places them on the trousers.
"These two go best with your suit," he says. "I could tell you all about this suit. Wear the design first came from, who it'll fit, why it'll fit you. Man, I loved my job. All I had to do was flirt with people."
"Flirt with men," I muttered.
"And the occasional woman, of course, but yeah. Men. It isn't very different, you know? Flirting with men and women."
I nod. Does he not know who he's speaking to?
He then nudges my shoulder. "You'd know how it works, wouldn't you? Flirting with men?"
I roll my eyes. "Jesus Christ."
He grins. "Now go change. I've never seen you in a suit before." He sounds excited, borderline cheerful. What's going on with this guy?
"Do you want to see me in a suit?" I ask. I'm not used to being this direct with him, or with anyone actually.
"Of course I do." He winks. "Can't wait for you to take my breath away."
I snort. "You must've been very good at your job."
He walks up to the door behind me. "People told me I was a natural."
"Of course they did," I mumble.
"Now go change," he pushes me to the door. "I'll be waiting."
xxx
I step out of Hope's room, wearing Hope's suit and a crisp white shirt (also Hope's) along with the light blue tie he'd given me. Hope's standing right outside the room, mindlessly scrolling at his phone.
I clear my throat and he looks up, slipping his phone into his jacket pocket.
It takes him a moment to take the whole sight in. Me in a suit and all. "Woah," he says, almost in disbelief. "It looks so much better on you than it did on me."
He gets himself together and walks up to me, smoothening my collar. "You combed your hair?" he asks.
"Yeah."
"And the tie," he breathes. "I love the way you've tied it. It's beautiful."
"When I was younger, Mama and I would flick one of my father's ties and go through Youtube, trying out all those fancy knots on ourselves. This is the only one I still remember."
"Could you maybe..." his voice trails off. He removes his blazer and undoes his necktie, and hands the latter to me. "Could you do it for me?"
I nod, unable to speak. I loop the necktie around his collar and start folding the cloth, carefully making the knot. I can smell Hope's pine flavored aftershave and his minty breath. Usually he only smells of sweat and strangers. But now...
I take my time with the knot, hoping he won't notice my unusually slow pace. My hands linger on the fabric even after I'm done. Finally, I take a step back.
He examines the knot I tied for him. "Looks good," he says. "Thank you."
"It looks better on you," I say, throwing back the same compliment he gave me just a few minutes ago.
He smiles. "Now you're flirting."
"This isn't flirting," I retort.
"You men," he says. "Hopeless. Can't take a compliment generously. And you can't compliment others generously either. That's why I left my job, see. We'll flirt and then they'll fist bump me like we're bros or something. Stupid."
I laugh.
"At least women giggle and acknowledge my efforts," he says.
"I really wouldn't know," I tell him.
"No, you wouldn't." He laughs. "Someday."
"Someday what?"
His green eyes meet my brown ones. "Someday I'll take you to that Louis Vuitton showroom and let you flirt with all those men. Some even ask you to help them with their jackets. Eye candies everywhere. You'll love it."
"Bad idea," I mumble.
"Yeah right," he says jokingly. "You secretly love it. But I'm not sure that Dorian Gray would appreciate it."
"What?"
"Dorian Gray? That guy's picture you carry everywhere? You didn't forget about your boyfriend, did you?"
"Oh, right," I say. He still thinks Oscar Wilde's character is a real person. "I don't remember telling you much about him. And he's not my boyfriend."
He raises his brow. "I wonder what you see in him, that Dorian Gray."
I swear I heard some distaste in his voice.
"You wouldn't wanna know," I say.
"You're right," he sighs. "Let's leave. We've got a funeral to attend."
I nod. Wordlessly, we descend the stairs, hands brushing against each other but neither of us say anything. It'll take us twenty minutes to reach the place where the funeral's going to take place. Sebastian and I go with Hope in his red convertible while Mr. and Mrs. Hope go in their car.
Sebastian sits with me in the back seat. I catch Alexander Hope's eyes through the rear view mirror countless times. But we say nothing. Because there's nothing between us. Absolutely nothing.
xxx
We reach the funeral grounds. We're the first people there, obviously.
I informed my sister, Kat, about Mama's death and she told me she'll be there. She's in Caltech, got in with a scholarship. She might be able to come here only for a day or so. She said she was a part of some very important project. I'm not entirely sure she got permission to leave.
Some time later, people start filling in. Tyler and his mom and his siblings. Coach Merton and Coach Lincoln. The Donovans. The Williams. The Langers. My whole team comes. Except for Vinny, only his parents are here.
A lot of my mother's friends are here too. Tyler's mom and my mom were very close. And then there's my father. None of his drinking buddies have come. None. No comments.
Tyler hugs me as soon as he sees me. "I'm sorry, dude," he whispers. I'm not much of a hugger but I guess I needed that. Tyler is my closest friend, he always will be. Very few people know me as much as he does, and I'll always be grateful that Tyler's in my life.
I distance myself from Hope and his family as much as I can. A lot of people come my way, though. Offering kind words and flowers, with teary eyes and bored ones. Hand shakes and pats on the back and too-tight hugs. Everyone's dressed in black and dark blue. And they all knew my mother, miss her even, but I barely know any of them.
And then my sister comes. Katya Petrova. She's beautiful, like Mama. Same dark hair and hazel eyes. Beautiful. She looks more like her child than I do. Except for my eyes, I look exactly the way my father did when he was in highschool. I don't like it.
There's a guy next to her. Asian, glasses, scrawny, wearing a turtleneck beneath his coat.
She introduces me to him. He's called Harry and they're just friends. He's half-Korean and half-Chinese but knows Japanese and Sanskrit and some other unpronounceable languages as well. He's a second generation American but visits Asia once every two years. He's this and that and this and that.
Just friends, no doubt.
We take our seat on the front row, closest to the coffin. Tyler sits right next to me and my father sits after them. He looks sober. But I know better than to trust his appearance.
"Dude," Tyler whispers. "What's Lex doing here?"
I turn around and spot Hope, sitting a couple of seats behind me, eyes fixed on my back. Now that I've turned, we lock eyes for a split second before I turn back.
"You know the Hopes," I whisper back at him. "They attend every funeral service in town."
"But Lex and his brother almost never show up. Their parents are philanthropic and all, not them. Not Lex Hope. What is he doing at your mother's funeral?"
"Ziegler," I look at him. "Let him be."
Sighing, he turns his attention back to the proceedings. I stare at my mother's coffin and then at my father. Despite everything, he's crying. Silently and emotionally. I can't believe it.
"He loved her too, you know," Katya whispers by my side.
"Yeah, I know," I tell her. "I just-- why can't he love us the same way? Love me?"
She squeezes my hand. I squeeze it back. We both know the answer to my question, we just won't say it.
xxx
Once the funeral is over, I hover besides the empty seats, unable to part with the place. Everyone's gone. Everyone except Katya, Harry (her Asian not-boyfriend) and the Hopes.
I tell Katya that I'm living with the Hopes because our father kicked me out of the house. I don't tell her why I was kicked out, she already knows.
"You're living with Hope?" she asks. "Lex Hope, the captain of the Falcons?"
"The very one."
"I'm sorry, can you tell me about the status of the Wildcat-Falcon rivalry, again? Or does that not exist anymore?" She is shocked. And she isn't trying to hide it, which is one of the reasons I love her so much. She doesn't try to hide the way she feels, maybe that's why Just-Friend-Harry likes her too.
"It does," I tell her. "It's worse than before, actually."
She looks at me warily. Harry is talking to Sebastian which I don't find surprising at all. They've got a lot in common. "So Lex stopped being the complete asshole you said he was?"
"Nope, but he is improving," I say.
"Last time we spoke, you said he was your worst enemy." She almost doesn't believe me.
"He still is," I reply with a smile.
"I don't understand," she concludes.
I take her hand. "Honestly, I don't either."
"You know you can always live with Harry and I, right?" she asks.
"Aren't you guys supposed to be just friends?"
She grins sheepishly. "We're roommates! Second years don't have to live inside campus."
I laugh. "Just friends, my foot."
She shakes her head. "I wish he could've met Mama. I didn't know..." she sighs, tearing up.
"You know, I spoke to Ma a few weeks ago in the hospital." My grip around her hand tightens. "And she told me things would be better if I simply had hope."
"Right," she says, willing me to go on.
"No, that's it," I say. "Hope."
And then it dawns upon her. "So you're taking it literally? Ivan, you know--"
"They're good people," I cut her off. "They've been nothing but kind to me, and there's basketball. If I leave the Wildcats and come stay with you, they'd be nothing. The team, they can't... we'll lose to the Falcons. And come what may, I still honor our rivalry with the Falcons. Hope and I, we're still rivals on court," I say.
She looks at the Hopes and then back at me. "If I tell you I get all of it, I'd be lying. But... The Hopes are good people," she agrees. "And as long as you're happy, I'll have your back, okay?"
I nod. "Okay."
"Call me," she says. "More often, it's like I've lost touch with you. We used to be close, you know?"
"I know."
She smiles. "Every day, let's talk at least once."
"Every day! Kat, are you kidding me? You might have the time, but I'm really busy, you know that? Once a month, that sounds good."
"A month? Ivan, I talk to my sworn enemy more often than that!"
"Me too," I say, looking at Alexander Hope.
She smiles. "Once a week, then?"
I smile back at her. "That works. Every Sunday, I'll talk to you. I don't have any Church business to attend to."
"Me neither," she says. "I'm going to miss you, when I get to Caltech."
"Same here. And be careful, I don't trust that Harry fellow just yet."
"He's the sweetest boy alive."
"Oh really," I nudge her elbow. "I thought I was the sweetest boy alive."
"After you, of course."
I chuckle. "Katya," I look into her eyes. "You're not pregnant, are you?"
"Vanya!" she exclaims, using the nickname only my family (minus my father) use. "I- We're friends," she emphasizes, "nothing more!"
I shake my head. "Are you sure, or do you want me to have a talk with him? You know, ask him what his intentions are, if he has any history?"
"Don't freak him out," she says. cautiously
I smile. "How much longer are you gonna be here for?" I know her schedule is tight. It's a stretch she even made it in time for the funeral.
Her face falls. "Very soon. Maybe in half an hour or something. Harry's probably booked the cab."
"I can drop you. Let me come."
"The airport's three hours away, I really can't have you waste an entire day. You have a lot on your shoulders, Vanya. I'm sorry."
I squeeze her into a hug. We aren't the kind of siblings who show any sort of affection, but here we are.
"I love you so much," she whispers.
"Yeah," I smile against her shoulder, knowing I have someone I love right next to me. "I love you too."
xxx
A/N
My updating schedule? Uh... No comments :/
Sorry for the late update and thanks for waiting. This chapter in particular needed to be edited so thoroughly... A big shout out to my sister for doing all behind-the-scenes work. She's worked so hard on this manuscript, her name deserves to be on the cover of this book along with mine!
I hope you enjoyed meeting Ivan's sister (and her not-boyfriend >< ) and the whole suit-and-tie thing!
See you at my next update:))