Chapter 26: Chapter 26

Before they made their way home, they made a pit stop at a store that specialized in baby clothes. She selected a few cute outfits, blankets, and the tiniest booties she could find.

On the plane ride home, she sifted through the items and held up a tiny sleeper. “Look at this, it’s so small. I can’t wait for my little nephew to be born. Clara’s really taken to motherhood. It’s like she’s a whole new person.”

“I’ve heard that having kids can really change people for the better. You know, Kat, you’d make an amazing mom.”

She chose to ignore his comment and started repacking the clothes into the bag. He noticed her evasion but decided not to push the subject. It was too soon after the shooting to even consider starting a family.

The flight home was uneventful; she lost herself in a book while he went over some paperwork. They were both exhausted by the time they landed and agreed to call Kurt in the morning. It would be Saturday, and they could deliver the gift then.

***

The next day, when she called, Kurt invited them over for dinner and mentioned that he and Xander would handle the grilling. That afternoon, she wrapped the gifts in blue paper and adorned them with a ribbon.

Upon their arrival, Clara led them to the backyard. Kurt had just fired up the barbecue and cracked open a beer for Xander and himself; Kat was handed a glass of wine. “So, how was the trip, and is that for me?” he asked, gesturing toward the gifts.

“Very funny, Kurt. You know it’s for the baby. Clara, do you want to open them now or wait until after dinner?”

Clara, brimming with excitement, reached for the gifts. “You know I can’t wait.” She started unwrapping them while Kurt watched with a smile. “Oh, you guys, these are so adorable. Thank you both so much,” Clara said, pulling them into a hug.

The women stayed seated, and Kat filled Clara in on their honeymoon. “So, Xander, have you and Kat talked about having kids?”

“I’m not sure she wants any.”

“Why would you think that?”

“Every time I bring it up, she ignores me. If she doesn’t want kids, I’m not going to pressure her.”

“I wouldn’t give up if I were you. You should have a serious conversation about it. Not knowing where she stands on having kids will drive you crazy.”

“You’re right. So, how’s work? I hope there aren’t any issues. If there are, let me know, and we can figure it out together.”

“Work’s going great. I think you’ll be pleased with the reports at our next meeting.”

The food was ready, so Kat and Clara brought out the salads, and they all enjoyed dinner outside on the warm, beautiful night. After dessert, they headed home and began their new life together as husband and wife. The weeks flew by, and Clara’s due date was fast approaching. She was told she might deliver early.

Everything was going well between them, except for the baby issue. He still hadn’t talked to Kat about having a baby. Part of him was afraid she would say she didn’t want any.

As time passed, they were jolted awake one night by the ringing phone. Kat reached for her phone, her voice groggy from sleep. “Hello, Kurt, do you know what time it is? Oh God, okay, we’ll be there.”

Xander opened his eyes and asked her what was happening. “It’s Clara, she’s having her baby.”

“What? I thought she wasn’t due for another three weeks.”

“They did say there was a chance she would deliver early. I told Kurt we’d be there, so get dressed.”

They arrived at the hospital and saw Kurt approaching them. “I’m glad you’re here, but I can only stay for a minute. The baby is coming. I thought it took hours?”

Kat gave him a comforting hug. “I guess the little guy is eager to meet his parents. Now go to your wife, and we’ll wait here.”

Xander put his arm around her waist, and they sat down. “Poor Kurt, he’s a nervous wreck. I guess I can’t blame him. I know I’ll be the same when it’s our turn.”

She tensed up and wouldn’t meet his gaze when she spoke, once again ignoring his comment. “Yes, he’s nervous, but I know he’ll calm down once he holds his son. I wonder how long it will take. I’ve heard that for some women, it takes hours. I guess Clara is one of the lucky ones.”

He tried to hide his disappointment when she didn’t respond to his comment. “It might be a while, so I’m going to grab a coffee. Do you want one, or something else?”

“No, I’m fine,” she replied. It hurt her to see his disappointment when she didn’t respond to his comment. It wasn’t the first time he’d brought up having kids, but she just didn’t feel ready. Maybe she never would be.

When he returned with his coffee, he offered her a cookie. “I thought you might be hungry since you didn’t eat much at dinner. You don’t have to eat it now if you don’t want to. You can save it for later.”

“I’ll eat it now,” she said, breaking it in half and offering him a piece. “You didn’t eat much either.”

When she gave him that sweet smile, he momentarily forgot about their earlier conversation and accepted the cookie. “Thank you.”

***

Four hours later, Kurt returned with a huge grin on his face. “My son is here, five pounds and nine ounces. He’s small but healthy. They’re cleaning up Clara and the baby, so wait about twenty minutes and then come meet your nephew.”

When he left, Kat turned to Xander. “We should have brought flowers for Clara.”

“I’ll order some when the store opens and have them delivered to her.”

When the time was up, they went to Clara’s room. As they walked in, the new parents beamed at them. “Come meet Steven John Reynolds,” Clara said, beckoning them closer.

“Oh, he’s beautiful,” Kat said, thrilled to hold the baby. “He’s so tiny and perfect. Look at these little fingers.”

Knowing Clara was exhausted, they only stayed for an hour and promised to return later. On the drive home, he couldn’t wait any longer to talk about having a baby. “Kat, I have to ask you something. Why do you ignore me every time I try to talk to you about us having a family?”

“Xander, please, I don’t want to discuss it.”

He couldn’t help but feel angry, so he pulled over, parked the car, and turned to face her. “You might not want to, but I do. What’s going on with you? Do you not want kids? For God’s sake, tell me. If you don’t, then let me know.”

“What if I told you I didn’t want to? Would you hold it against me?” He traced his fingers along his jawline.

“Darling, I love you. I won’t lie, I’ve always wanted to be a dad. But I love you more, and if you’re telling me you don’t want a child, I can live with that. I’d rather have a life with you and no kids, than kids without you. Your happiness is my priority.”

A single tear slipped down her cheek, her lips quivering as she met his gaze.

“It’s not that I don’t want a child.”

“Then what’s the issue?”

“I’m scared.”

“Sweetheart, why on earth would you be scared?”

“I don’t know if I’d be a good mom. I never had a mother figure, I wouldn’t know what to do with a baby.”

“You’ll learn, and I’ll be right there with you.”

She shook her head, inhaling deeply before revealing her deeper fear.

“What if I’ve inherited some of my dad’s traits? What if I end up like him and hurt our child? I’d rather not have a child if there’s a risk of that happening.”

He shifted toward her, gently wiping her tears away. He hadn’t realized she was harboring such fears. Now he understood her apprehension, as unfounded as it seemed to him.

“Kat, you are not your father. You’re kind and gentle, you wouldn’t hurt a fly. Your father was a cruel, sick man who was an alcoholic.”

“You can’t predict who I’ll become in the future. I could change, start drinking or using drugs like he did.”

“Listen to me. I know you, and I know you’ll be an amazing mother. I’ve seen you with Kurt’s baby, the way you held him, the way you looked at him.”

“Do you really think I’d be a good mom?”

“I do, and I think deep down, you know it too. You don’t need to be scared, you won’t be alone. We’re a team, we’ll love and raise our children together.”

She nestled her head on his shoulder as he pulled her close, his arms enveloping her. His fingers running through her hair and his lips pressing against her head felt comforting.

“Xander, there’s something else that’s bothering me.”

“Tell me,” he urged.

She pulled away from his embrace to look at him.

“My father was a different man when my mother was alive. I think he loved her, and when she died, he blamed me. He took out his anger on me and Kurt. He once said that if I hadn’t been born, she’d still be alive.”

“Kat, what are you trying to say?”

“If something were to happen to me during childbirth, I’m scared you’d blame our baby. I know you’re a good man, but tragedy can change people.”

He cradled her face in his hands, his thumbs gently caressing her cheeks.

“Nothing will happen to you.”

“But it could.”

“If something were to happen that took you away from me, I would never harm our child—quite the opposite. I would love and protect them with everything I have. The baby would be a part of you that I’d always cherish.”

A smile broke through her tears.

“How did I get so lucky to have you? I love you so much, and I want you to be happy. If having a baby will do that, then we should consider it.”

“I don’t want you to have a baby just for my happiness. You need to want it too; it has to be your decision. We don’t have to rush into this, we can discuss it when you’re ready.”

“Thank you for being so understanding. I feel much better after our talk.”

“Whatever you decide, whatever happens, you’re not alone. I’m here for you, always.”

She traced her fingers over his lips, a sweet smile playing on her face.

“Let’s give it some more time, but we could practice the steps to having a baby.”

“Oh darling, I know what to do and don’t need practice. I’ll show you when we get home. Now buckle up, we’re in for a quick ride home.”