My fingers hover on the engineâs button.
I canât.
No, I can.
This is what Iâve lived all my life for. This is my mission in life, the reason I exist.
The shadow of the girl on my shoulder is begging me to go on, to step harder on the accelerator. I need to go, I need toâ
âCharâ¦lotte⦠Ronanâ¦â Edric mumbles from beside me. His foot kicks forward but soon falls down.
âShut up.â I release the steering wheel and grasp the needle. âYou donât get to play the victim game with me. You donât get to use Charlotte or Ronan.â
Heâs staring at me, but thereâs no fear or franticness in his eyes as I expected. Heâs not even pretending to have any acceptance. If anything, he appears sad, mortified, even.
ââ¦w-write s-something to h-herâ¦â
âWhy would you get to say your goodbyes? Knox and I didnât. We couldnât. We had to run away so you would never come near me again.â
âN-Noâ¦not meâ¦â
âYou wonât even admit to it?â My voice rises. âThe curtains have fallen, Edric. Thereâs no one to save you.â
Or me.
Iâve already picked my path. I donât get to change my mind.
A banging sounds on the door and I startle. Shit. No one is supposed to come this far out.
I hit the ignition and spring into action.
âTeal!â Ronanâs voice comes through the window, muffled but strong.
My shoulder blades snap together.
What is he doing here? How did he find me? Heâs not supposed to find me.
Donât look at him.
Donât you dare look at him.
I slowly close my eyes. If I look at him, I wonât be able to go through with this.
If I look at him, Iâll be tempted to abandon everything and run into his arms, but that will only destroy me in the long run.
âTeal!â He bangs on the window. âOpen up.â
I donât.
I wonât.
âMa belleâ¦please look at me.â His voice softens, and something inside me breaks. It breaks at his nickname for me and the way heâs calling me his beauty.
Tears stream down my cheeks. I couldnât stop them even if I wanted to. I held them hostage for so long, and now theyâre breaking out.
I hit the button, and the lowering sound of the window echoes in the silence of the morning. However, I donât look at him. I feel like if I do, Iâll break down in sobs, and I canât have that.
âTeal,â Ronan coaxes. âCan you shut off the engine?â
âNo.â My voice trembles around the word.
âHeyâ¦I know the amount of pain youâre in. I wonât pretend I understand it all, but I understand some. However, youâre making a huge mistake, Teal. Itâs not my father.â
This time I do look at him, my veins nearly popping out of my neck with tension.
How dare he say itâs a mistake?
Just because itâs his father doesnât mean he didnât do it.
I regret lifting my head immediately. Ronan is holding up a half-conscious Eduard, his face nearly unrecognisable. Blood drips down his temples, his chin, and his ugly red suit.
âIt was this fucker.â Ronanâs jaw clenches. âHeâs the only paedophile in our family.â
My jaw drops open as Ronan tells me the story of how his uncle used to go to Birmingham and how Charlotte was sick at the time so Edric never left her side, not even for a minute.
I canât concentrate. For a second too long, Iâm just staring ahead as the pieces fall together.
Thatâs why Eduard seemed familiar when he was talking to Ronan in his room that dayâ¦the tenor of his voice, his back. I gasp as the rest of Ronanâs words register.
The only paedophile in our family.
Heâs the man who molested Ronan, isnât he?
Why had I thought the secret was that Eduard was Ronanâs biological father? He couldnât be; the similarities between Edric and Ronan are undeniable. I was only trying any method possible to stop relating the source of my pain to the source of my happiness.
My gaze bounces between Eduard and Edric, whose eyes are rimmed with tears. He figured it out, too.
I kill the engine. My own eyes wonât stop fucking leaking, and I donât have the will to wipe the tears away.
âE-Edricâ¦â Eduard begs. âStop your sonâs madness.â
My skin prickles with all the emotions Iâve been directing at the wrong person.
This arsehole has been hiding in plain sight all this time. Iâve been plotting Edricâs demise when he didnât do a thing.
God, what have I done?
âI-Iâm g-going to k-kill you, Eduard,â Edric manages to get out past a clenched jaw.
His brotherâs face pales at that. The realisation of what heâs done sets in. He knows, he just knows his fate at Edricâs hands will be worse than anything else that could be done to him.
âEdricâ¦you believe this nonsense?â Eduardâs voice shakes. It literally shakes.
âKill. You,â Edric mutters.
âI was abused too,â Eduard pleads, that tremor still there. âI-Iâ¦my first stepfather used to do things to me, Edric. Your father saved me. You think I want to be this way? You think I like it?â
âBut you acted on it.â Ronan shakes him as if heâs a sack of potatoes. âDoes being traumatised give you the right to traumatise others?â
âIâll make you regret the day you were born.â Edricâs voice is clearer now, the drugâs effect barely noticeable. âIâll shun you, break you until you choose to put a bullet in your head.â
âEdricâ¦â Eduardâs voice catches. âYou canât do that. Iâm your only brother.â
âI have no brother.â
That sets Eduard off.
His features contort, and with the blood, it looks as if someone smeared it all over his face and heâs now transforming into a monster.
Or rather, heâs revealing the monster thatâs been inside him all along.
âIf you want someone to blame, blame your pretty little child.â His gaze slides to Ronan and he grins. âYou were the forbidden fruit I could never have because of that fucking Lars, so do you know what I did, my dear nephew?â
âShut up,â Ronan commands while gritting his teeth.
âNo, itâs truth time, so letâs do it.â He laughs, showing his bloodied mouth. âIâve fantasised about your entire body, about your little hands and small penis. I jerked off to your picture more times than I could count, my lovely little nephew. So when I couldnât have you, I found other little hands who resembled yours, and I made sure I could mark their skin. They didnât bite and hit like you, so I did it for them. They cried, though â except for this one.â He motions at me but never takes his attention off Ronan. âI remember her â of course I do. She was one of the quiet ones, the ones who didnât speak a word. I didnât tarnish you, my little boy. Arenât I a good uncle?â
âYou fuckingââ
Eduard cuts Ronan off. âIf you want to blame someone, blame yourself. Youâre the reason for all their trauma. If you had let me touch you, I wouldnât have ruined other children. Youâre to blame Ronan â only you. When youâre holding your beautiful fiancée, I want you to remember I came all over her cunt because I couldnât have you.â
Ronan growls and drags Eduard to the cliff. Iâm opening the door and running after him before I even realise it.
He holds his uncle by the collar on the edge. âSay goodbye, Eduard.â
âYouâre going to kill me and then what?â Eduard laughs like an insane man out of a psych ward. âCan you live with the fact that youâre behind all those childrenâs misery?â
âShut the fuck up,â Ronan roars.
âItâs you, my little nephew. Itâs all because of you.â
âItâs not.â My voice is thick with emotions as I stop a small distance away, afraid of triggering Ronan if I get closer. âItâs not you, Ronan. Itâs him. Youâre not responsible for his choices and his actions. Youâre the victim, heâs the assailant.â
Ronan breathes harshly, his chest rising and falling so fast Iâm afraid something will happen to him.
âItâs not you,â I repeat, inching towards him.
My arm finds his and he lets me touch him. He doesnât flinch or shove me away.
A warmth expands in my chest as I slowly stand beside him, my heart beating loud and fast.
Ronanâs fingers start to uncurl from around Eduardâs, and I release a slow breath. Itâs not that Iâm worried about that bastard; I just wonât allow Ronan to become a murderer because of him.
Iâm good with becoming one, but Ronan canât. Heâs prim and proper andâ¦light. Heâs my light, and I wonât let any darkness wrench him away from me.
The door of the car opens, and Edric slowly pulls himself out.
The slight disturbance of the scene distracts me for a second too long.
Itâs enough for everything to end.
Itâs enough for my world to be flipped upside down.
âYou know what? If I canât have you, why should anyone?â Eduard throws his tied hands around Ronanâs neck from behind. âTill death do us part, my little nephew.â
And then he pulls Ronan with him over the cliff.